What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That DH's high school friend/ex short term gf is nice and all but that I think her twice yearly 'pleasant emails' are, in part, to keep her foot in the door in case I screw up or die or whatever and it's just kind of obvious. That I remember him telling me that her husband sucks in bed and has a lot of hang ups and, well, he doesn't so it's like she's a vulture circling...

I have the same problem.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's so weird. It did help for me to point out to her that I was reading the stuff she was sending my husband.
She really went kind of nuclear which concerns me - why did she have expectations of privacy with someone else's husband?
Why did that bother her so much? It's like she lives in her own little weird fantasy world.
So, now she says she won't contact my husband at all, won't go to her high school reunion (boo fucking hoo - who cares?
She's 48 years old!). So, it's inappropriate relationship or nothing apparently.

My husband called what I did 'very effective' and found it kind of amusing. I wish he wouldn't do stuff like that - why not just temper things himself?
I'm not impressed. He does know that. Life is back to normal and I love the man.

Mrs overly religious doesn't seem so religious to me (they're hosting conservative politicians at their home even - figures).

I'm a good wife and partner - but apparently not good enough or he wouldn't be doing this kind of thing.
It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

That I secretly want a man to seduce me. I am a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a good wife and partner - but apparently not good enough or he wouldn't be doing this kind of thing.

I can't really speak to you being a good wife and partner, you might be, or you might not be. But it has nothing to do with your S/O looking up other women. You could be the best wifey-mother-sexologist in the region and still he might look up other women.

I usually think there is something else wrong in the marriage, but doesn't excuse his behavior.

[Anonymous]

That I wish I left him last summer.

[Anonymous]

That although you think I am the greatest husband, I have had a couple of affairs and it has no effect on my love for you. I actually feel closer to you when I can get my needs met elsewhere and it takes the pressure off the sexual side of our marriage. If you would let me have an affair partner, I would worship you and be the most devoted husband ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That although you think I am the greatest husband, I have had a couple of affairs and it has no effect on my love for you. I actually feel closer to you when I can get my needs met elsewhere and it takes the pressure off the sexual side of our marriage. If you would let me have an affair partner, I would worship you and be the most devoted husband ever.

DW here - me too. I know it sounds totally insane to say having an affair helps your marriage but it can

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That although you think I am the greatest husband, I have had a couple of affairs and it has no effect on my love for you. I actually feel closer to you when I can get my needs met elsewhere and it takes the pressure off the sexual side of our marriage. If you would let me have an affair partner, I would worship you and be the most devoted husband ever.

DW here - me too. I know it sounds totally insane to say having an affair helps your marriage but it can

What is it that you would try to find in an AP that you can't get from the hubby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That although you think I am the greatest husband, I have had a couple of affairs and it has no effect on my love for you. I actually feel closer to you when I can get my needs met elsewhere and it takes the pressure off the sexual side of our marriage. If you would let me have an affair partner, I would worship you and be the most devoted husband ever.

DW here - me too. I know it sounds totally insane to say having an affair helps your marriage but it can

What is it that you would try to find in an AP that you can't get from the hubby?

A sex drive - he's on an anxiety med that kills his labido. My anger and resentment over this kills our whole relationship . Getting that side met elsewhere greatly improves our individual happiness in our marriage. Unfortunately I do realize that happiness is underpinned by deceit. But I do think the alternatives are bitter marriage or divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lied about my number of sexual partners for almost 20 years. Told the lie once and never found a way to tell the truth. And he is totally one that will be hurt by the dishonesty even 20 years later. Wish that I was mature enough to go with the "none of your business" line at the time.

I am convinced that when I am old and forgetful that I will let it slip.

What did you tell him vs. the true number?

Told him 2, real number is 7.

Um, you're wasting a whole lot of angst over 5 partners?

Goes to honesty. My DW told me two then a few years later let slip that there was a third. Why would she have lied about him to begin with? I have to assume that there were more than that.

There are way more. However, it's the past. What you don't know will not hurt you.

[Anonymous]

Not having an orgasm (with him) in 20 years? So do you fake it? Are you getting satisfaction from someone else? Or just pleasuring yourself? I can't imagine 20 years of no orgasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lied about my number of sexual partners for almost 20 years. Told the lie once and never found a way to tell the truth. And he is totally one that will be hurt by the dishonesty even 20 years later. Wish that I was mature enough to go with the "none of your business" line at the time.

I am convinced that when I am old and forgetful that I will let it slip.

What did you tell him vs. the true number?

Told him 2, real number is 7.

Um, you're wasting a whole lot of angst over 5 partners?

Goes to honesty. My DW told me two then a few years later let slip that there was a third. Why would she have lied about him to begin with? I have to assume that there were more than that.

Because she knew that you were a little bitch who would get huffy and obsessed about an additional sex partner. That's my guess, at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That staging a 6000 sf house and keeping it perfect nearly killed me as I had to do it all solo with three young kids while he was constantly traveling. I know he appreciates me but I don't think he appreciated the hours of backbreaking work it took to do this all on my own. I wish he appreciated it more.

This is sarcasm right?

This is called a humble brag...woe is me and my 6000 sf house!

No, that actually sounds really hard and exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I think you women need to speak up about the hygeine stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same as previous posters - he is terrible in bed and I haven't had an orgasm (with him) in at least 20 years.

Doesn't that mean YOU are terrible in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That I secretly want a man to seduce me. I am a man.

If he was doing it secretly, how would you ever know he was doing it?