What is the most insulting thing someone has said to you?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My DH told his ex-wife that a cat was a better mother and beyond an egg and a uterus, her contribution to their children was unremarkable. He also told her that she should be thanking me for being willing to step up and become the mother the kids had always deserved.

All this about a week after we got custody of my stepkids. She really is a terrible mother. She sees the kids an average of one time a year for two or three days. The kids were 4 and 6 when we gained custody. They are 21 and 18 now and have almost no relationship with their biological mother. Still, those words haunt me because I know they had to devastate her.

and you feel good about being married to someone who would say this?

I responded to this same thing earlier - It was a very, very long time ago. She had been neglecting the kids and it was said right after he found out. I think it is probably the most insulting thing I have ever heard anyone say. I do "feel good" about being married to him because I understand why he said it. Imagine how you would feel if you found out someone had been harming your children. They were very little at the time - 4 and 6. Remember, he was awarded legal and physical custody. Judges very rarely award sole custody and it's even rarer for it to be given to a father. Think a little bit about what that means.....

I do feel badly that she was hurt by it. Despite the fact that it's true, it must have been a horrible thing to hear.

I have no idea what the others are onto, but I would be EXTREMELY proud of your husband. Not only did he gain custody of his kids, he married a woman who became a mother to them and he recognized how wonderful you are. Personally, I don't care how their mother felt about hearing the truth; I think he was right to say it. Why? Because the children were being hurt and her feelings don't matter in this situation. You married a good man. A damn good man. And vice-versa. Thank you for being a mom, and not a step-mom.

Thank you! The kids were 4 and 6 when we got custody. They are 18 and 21 now! And they are just amazing kids! I am the lucky one

You are welcome! I was kind of amused at those who thought your husband was mean or wrong? Good LORD, these are his CHILDREN! He chose right the second time, as I said

Agreed. If my XDH did something like that I too could see myself lashing out and saying something horrible. And in the end she deserved it.

[Anonymous]

"did you trick (Dh's name) into have kids? I never thought he wanted children and figured the only way I'd have grandkids was if the baby was an accident. "

Said by my MIL when I told her I was pregnant after a long struggle TTC. Which she knew about.

Thankfully DH is an amazing dad which in a way is bad because MIL goes on and on and on about it. When DH gave Ds a bath recently while I did something else, you would have thought he'd cured cancer by the way MIL talked about it.

[Anonymous]

"Pass the salsa" - my mother after telling her we were expecting our second child.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Of course they let you in to <insert name of highly competitive engineering-focused college>. You're a girl. You could be a total idiot, and as long as you wore a skirt to the interview, you're in."
Spoken by a fellow (male) student, among others.
Riiiight. Having near-perfect math SAT, ACT and GPA, not to mention a national engineering award, had nothing to do with it. They accepted me - and gave me a merit scholarship - cause I wore a skirt (which I didn't, btw). Good to know I'm so highly valued as an engineer and as a person.

I laughed it off the first time, but it got pretty tiresome after hearing it about 20 times from different guys (including students, TAs, administrators, alumni, parents of high school friends, and anyone else you can think of).

20 times? there must be some truth to it then. No?

Jesus, you're an asshole.

No, there is no truth to it. It's just a field where there are a lot of smart guys who are not used to having their asses to them by a girl. They'll do whatever it takes to protect their fragile ego and the myth that they are the smartest person in the room. It's all they have going for them.

Lol - I posted the story, but not the last response. You're basically right on, though, thanks for sticking up for me!

The school was 80% male. Their acceptance rate for men was higher than for women - I don't recall the exact percentages, but they obviously were NOT letting in every girl that applied. I stand by my record, and would put it up against any guy's in a gender-blind evaluation. The men there were simply not used to having to treat women as equals, and many of them clearly resented our presence. I heard more than once that the school would be better off if it had stayed all-male ,even though the change to co-Ed had happened about 20 yrs earlier!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a Muslim woman who looks very Muslimish (colored skin, headscarf, big beautiful eyes lol!!) and I've had pretty much all the cliche insults thrown at me...you learn to let it roll off your back after the 20th time some loser drives by and calls you a terrorist or tells you to go back to your country, but I think the most insulting thing said to me by a stranger has to be the little old Chinese lady telling me to go back to go my own country (in a heavy Chinese accent lol). It was comical but saddening that she felt like she belonged here more than I do even though I was born and raised here :-/ I thought we minorities had each other's back, so that was a rude awakening.
Btw she freaked out because she thought I took her parking spot (Christmas season, ugh) but there were two cars pulling out at the same time.

PP, sorry you were abused in this way, but I would expect racism from an old chinese woman as they consider every other ethnicity but chinese to be an inferior savage

Is that a foreign thing to try to feel more American? Know a guy who tries to says or implies that US born minorities some whose families have been here for generations are foreigners in his thick foreign accent. We think he is just trying to prove he is more American.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My DH and I were sitting in a restaurant one night and these two drunk losers were sitting at the table next to us. Midway through the meal one guy leaned over and tapped me on the shoulder and said, "you're about, what, 135?" And then they both laughed hysterically. I was a size 8-10 at the time, which I thought was just fine, but this really gutted me. So humiliating.

and DH did what??????????????????????????

He couldn't hear the comment over all the noise (we were at Orleans House in Rosslyn) and had no idea what was going on. I rushed out and had tears in my eyes by the time we got to the car. I told him what happened and he ranted the whole way home about what d-bags they were. He had me laughing eventually but it didn't take the sting out of it much, to be honest.

Wow, I haven't thought about it in such detail in quite some time. Still makes me feel terrible.

I seriously have no idea what was so insulting about this. Weird, kinda rude, but I can't figure out what's insulting. So what if they were trying to guess your weight? Just how incredibly insecure are/were you?

Added to the fact that you still feel terrible about it, it's just really strange.

Wow, a lot of people have chimed in to say maybe I misinterpreted it. Maybe I did! But the guy said it in a very sarcastic way and they both just laughed in my face after the remark. My interpretation was that they very clearly knew I weighed more than 135 (i was about 160, if it matters) and thought it was hilarious to shame me for being chubby.

[Anonymous]

After receiving my rejection letter from a top-10 law school, ex-DH "comforted" me by saying that he knew people graduated from that school and they were just much smarter than I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After receiving my rejection letter from a top-10 law school, ex-DH "comforted" me by saying that he knew people graduated from that school and they were just much smarter than I.

Yikes!

[Anonymous]

You remind me of your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After receiving my rejection letter from a top-10 law school, ex-DH "comforted" me by saying that he knew people graduated from that school and they were just much smarter than I.

After getting into law school, my classmate's mother (a Harvard law grad) told her, if that is the best law school you can get into, why bother going. Ouch. My friend is now a partner in a big law firm. As big as her mother's firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After receiving my rejection letter from a top-10 law school, ex-DH "comforted" me by saying that he knew people graduated from that school and they were just much smarter than I.

After getting into law school, my classmate's mother (a Harvard law grad) told her, if that is the best law school you can get into, why bother going. Ouch. My friend is now a partner in a big law firm. As big as her mother's firm.

Is her mom a tiger mom? Sounds very tiger-motherish.

[Anonymous]

I am a black woman and when I was 26 I was in a year long relationship with a guy who had very bigoted parents. His mother called me one day (had never met me in person) and told me she knew I was only with her son for for his money and that I would never be accepted into their family. This was totally disregarding the fact that I 1) made almost $20k more than him 2) had a masters degree and was working on a PhD part-time and 3) was willing to live though 5 years of supporting him until his DMD and residency were finished. The guy then then broke up with me because he said he couldn't trust me anymore. It still baffles me today!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a black woman and when I was 26 I was in a year long relationship with a guy who had very bigoted parents. His mother called me one day (had never met me in person) and told me she knew I was only with her son for for his money and that I would never be accepted into their family. This was totally disregarding the fact that I 1) made almost $20k more than him 2) had a masters degree and was working on a PhD part-time and 3) was willing to live though 5 years of supporting him until his DMD and residency were finished. The guy then then broke up with me because he said he couldn't trust me anymore. It still baffles me today!

What a leech! Sorry you went through this! I also had one boyfriend who lived off of my income while I worked and he went to school and then had to find his way. Can't say I envy whoever he ended up marrying!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"did you trick (Dh's name) into have kids? I never thought he wanted children and figured the only way I'd have grandkids was if the baby was an accident. "

Said by my MIL when I told her I was pregnant after a long struggle TTC. Which she knew about.

Thankfully DH is an amazing dad which in a way is bad because MIL goes on and on and on about it. When DH gave Ds a bath recently while I did something else, you would have thought he'd cured cancer by the way MIL talked about it.

MIL's are infamous for dropping their filter (the one they never had) when the DIL comes into the picture! Let's just say with certainty, it is not you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While at a football game, a guy said to his friend "tell that <n-word> beer man to get up here". Then, they turn to me and said "hey buddy, want a beer?"

I am a black man.

And what did you do/say?

I turned down the beer and ignored them. I was in the Carolinas. I looked at who was around me and realized that escalation would have not worked out in my favor. There were not many people who looked like me and there were lots of drunk people who seemed just like the guy who made the comment.