women who don't work or raise kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

You have half a kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you'd followed the thread, you'd see the reference to your husband was a reference to an earlier post re: husbands being bored with SAHWs.

Well, I am not a SAHW, I'm a SAHM who has had a long career in a high-powered job. My point is that you do not have to have a career to be "interesting". It's a matter of personality.

Depends what your spouse and friends consider "interesting." I consider my work more interesting than many topics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

You have half a kid?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

God, you all have much more interesting jobs than I do, and I have one of those jobs that's theoretically "interesting." But when I'm with my husband, or friends, I'd much rather talk about things that are actually interesting - books, movies, what we'd do if we hit the lottery, restaurants, our kids, etc. Let's face it - it's possible no one wants to hear about your job. You're probably just not that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP enjoyed that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you'd followed the thread, you'd see the reference to your husband was a reference to an earlier post re: husbands being bored with SAHWs.

Well, I am not a SAHW, I'm a SAHM who has had a long career in a high-powered job. My point is that you do not have to have a career to be "interesting". It's a matter of personality.

Depends what your spouse and friends consider "interesting." I consider my work more interesting than many topics.

Good for you, I'm happy for you. When I worked in public policy 9-7, 5 days a week, the last thing I wanted to discuss when out at a dinner was my job. I'm all for career women and I think it's fantastic when someone truly enjoys their job. I certainly don't think working makes someone less of a parent. We all make choices and do what's best in our individual situations.

But, your comment that women who do not currently have careers must be boring was one of the most ridiculous things I've heard ... then to add to that the comment that getting one's information anywhere but "from the source" (ie: working directly in politics) - makes you sound like such an insulated bore! Basically at that point, you're saying any person who does not have a career in policy is not interesting!

By the way, since you're so important and busy and interesting - how are you devoting so much time to this forum? Makes me laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, you all have much more interesting jobs than I do, and I have one of those jobs that's theoretically "interesting." But when I'm with my husband, or friends, I'd much rather talk about things that are actually interesting - books, movies, what we'd do if we hit the lottery, restaurants, our kids, etc. Let's face it - it's possible no one wants to hear about your job. You're probably just not that big a deal.

I'm so glad I'm married to my husband - we really do like hearing about each other's jobs. I don't like movies or much of popular culture (yes, I'm a wonk married to a wonk ).

[Anonymous]

"By the way, since you're so important and busy and interesting - how are you devoting so much time to this forum? Makes me laugh. "

I'm at the airport.

[Anonymous]

New poster, and I absolutely consider myself a feminist, and here's why I personally care about what you do when you stay at home for no reason at all: because, as a few other posters have pointed out, you're an embarrassment to the women's movement that fought to have the right to go to work, the right to advance in a career, the right to NOT have to stay at home and cook, clean, shop. Your complete lack of purpose and dependence on the man on your life for EVERYTHING makes you the epitome of the stereotype that our mothers, grandmothers, and - in some cases - great-grandmothers fought against.

I hate you. Yes, I hate you. Not because you're pitiable, which you are (unless you have a trust fund, many of you will find yourselves in the position of being up s**t creek without a paddle one day when your husband meets someone more interesting than you); not because you're boring, which you are (you shop all day and likely have nothing intelligent to contribute to a conversation); not even because you're a drag on society, which you are (having apparently nothing of value to contribute, although I should thank you for spurring the retail economy) - but only because you make an employer less likely to hire me and my kind - women that actually want to break glass ceiling, want to make a difference in the world, want to be good role models for our daughter.

And make no mistake - you are pathetic role models for your daughters. I don't say that out of jealousy (we have lots of $$, although not trust fund money); I say that as a mom who desperately wants my daughter to grow up with a sense of value and wanting to contribute something wonderful to the world. I want her to be Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Meg Whitman, Sheryl Sandburg (all of whom also have millions - or billions - of dollars, but still seem to find the value in working). And your presence tarnishes my hope to expose her only to strong, powerful, wonderful, smart, valuable women.

I hate you - and care that you are as pathetic as you are - because you make men think that women are dependent cling-ons with little value on their own. That's why you - with your sad little lives - make all of us worse off. You are the anti-feminists. I can only hope that as we get further and further away from finding this kind of lifestyle acceptable as a society that there will be fewer and fewer of you around to model yourselves for our childen.

[Anonymous]

Dear God, PP, please start taking your meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear God, PP, please start taking your meds.

I don't stay at home, so generally don't need pharmaceuticals to fill my day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear God, PP, please start taking your meds.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" On the other hand, his stories about his job are just SOOOOOOO interesting. "Honey, tell me again how you couldn't use the break room because they were painting it?" "

Does he ever talk to you about the meat of his actual work performance? DH and I discuss, as much as we can without violating employer confidences, the substance of our jobs.

Yes, he does. He just uses small words and short sentences so I understand what he's talking about. Of course he tells me about the substance of his job. But there's other interesting things to talk about as well. Often, I tell him about breaking news stories he hasn't heard because he was at work and cut off from the world. Believe it or not, I might have done something interesting that day myself. My story about bringing lunch to the lonely old lady down the street is worth talking about too. Or, I might have heard something going on with our extended family. The two of us just happen to be more family oriented than career oriented. It's what works for us. When we were both working 50 hours/week, we were just burnt out and cranky all the time. Weekends were full of chores and catching up on sleep. We just didn't like that. So when my job ended, he supported me when I said I wanted to try being a housewife for a while. So far, it's worked.

I agree with the PP who wrote that it's great that there are so many different kinds of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster, and I absolutely consider myself a feminist, and here's why I personally care about what you do when you stay at home for no reason at all: because, as a few other posters have pointed out, you're an embarrassment to the women's movement that fought to have the right to go to work, the right to advance in a career, the right to NOT have to stay at home and cook, clean, shop. Your complete lack of purpose and dependence on the man on your life for EVERYTHING makes you the epitome of the stereotype that our mothers, grandmothers, and - in some cases - great-grandmothers fought against.

I hate you. Yes, I hate you. Not because you're pitiable, which you are (unless you have a trust fund, many of you will find yourselves in the position of being up s**t creek without a paddle one day when your husband meets someone more interesting than you); not because you're boring, which you are (you shop all day and likely have nothing intelligent to contribute to a conversation); not even because you're a drag on society, which you are (having apparently nothing of value to contribute, although I should thank you for spurring the retail economy) - but only because you make an employer less likely to hire me and my kind - women that actually want to break glass ceiling, want to make a difference in the world, want to be good role models for our daughter.

And make no mistake - you are pathetic role models for your daughters. I don't say that out of jealousy (we have lots of $$, although not trust fund money); I say that as a mom who desperately wants my daughter to grow up with a sense of value and wanting to contribute something wonderful to the world. I want her to be Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Meg Whitman, Sheryl Sandburg (all of whom also have millions - or billions - of dollars, but still seem to find the value in working). And your presence tarnishes my hope to expose her only to strong, powerful, wonderful, smart, valuable women.

I hate you - and care that you are as pathetic as you are - because you make men think that women are dependent cling-ons with little value on their own. That's why you - with your sad little lives - make all of us worse off. You are the anti-feminists. I can only hope that as we get further and further away from finding this kind of lifestyle acceptable as a society that there will be fewer and fewer of you around to model yourselves for our childen.

Yikes! Scary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster, and I absolutely consider myself a feminist, and here's why I personally care about what you do when you stay at home for no reason at all: because, as a few other posters have pointed out, you're an embarrassment to the women's movement that fought to have the right to go to work, the right to advance in a career, the right to NOT have to stay at home and cook, clean, shop. Your complete lack of purpose and dependence on the man on your life for EVERYTHING makes you the epitome of the stereotype that our mothers, grandmothers, and - in some cases - great-grandmothers fought against.

I hate you. Yes, I hate you. Not because you're pitiable, which you are (unless you have a trust fund, many of you will find yourselves in the position of being up s**t creek without a paddle one day when your husband meets someone more interesting than you); not because you're boring, which you are (you shop all day and likely have nothing intelligent to contribute to a conversation); not even because you're a drag on society, which you are (having apparently nothing of value to contribute, although I should thank you for spurring the retail economy) - but only because you make an employer less likely to hire me and my kind - women that actually want to break glass ceiling, want to make a difference in the world, want to be good role models for our daughter.

And make no mistake - you are pathetic role models for your daughters. I don't say that out of jealousy (we have lots of $$, although not trust fund money); I say that as a mom who desperately wants my daughter to grow up with a sense of value and wanting to contribute something wonderful to the world. I want her to be Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Meg Whitman, Sheryl Sandburg (all of whom also have millions - or billions - of dollars, but still seem to find the value in working). And your presence tarnishes my hope to expose her only to strong, powerful, wonderful, smart, valuable women.

I hate you - and care that you are as pathetic as you are - because you make men think that women are dependent cling-ons with little value on their own. That's why you - with your sad little lives - make all of us worse off. You are the anti-feminists. I can only hope that as we get further and further away from finding this kind of lifestyle acceptable as a society that there will be fewer and fewer of you around to model yourselves for our childen.

This is beyond pathetic.