How would you react to a stranger shooshing your child at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Work with me, I'm trying to beat the "do you judge people by their strollers" thread. This HAS to beat it.

[Anonymous]

No. I think when you say it directly, you say "Shh". The OP said shoosh because she had to add "ing" to it. If you do that with Shh you get Shhing. That doesn't sound like anything. So I think the verb is shoosh, but the way it's said out loud to someone is Shh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I think when you say it directly, you say "Shh". The OP said shoosh because she had to add "ing" to it. If you do that with Shh you get Shhing. That doesn't sound like anything. So I think the verb is shoosh, but the way it's said out loud to someone is Shh.

Well, down south, we'd say, "Shush." Then, if you add "ing," you'll get "shushing." So I think the verb is "shush." (I'm trying my best to add to the thread for the research study.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I think when you say it directly, you say "Shh". The OP said shoosh because she had to add "ing" to it. If you do that with Shh you get Shhing. That doesn't sound like anything. So I think the verb is shoosh, but the way it's said out loud to someone is Shh.

Well, down south, we'd say, "Shush." Then, if you add "ing," you'll get "shushing." So I think the verb is "shush." (I'm trying my best to add to the thread for the research study.)

Well, this is an important detail. Did the other patrons say "shh" to the child or "shoosh"? I find Shoosh to be far more aggressive (it's like, shut the hell up!" than Shh (which could be like, let's use our quiet voices!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I think when you say it directly, you say "Shh". The OP said shoosh because she had to add "ing" to it. If you do that with Shh you get Shhing. That doesn't sound like anything. So I think the verb is shoosh, but the way it's said out loud to someone is Shh.

Well, down south, we'd say, "Shush." Then, if you add "ing," you'll get "shushing." So I think the verb is "shush." (I'm trying my best to add to the thread for the research study.)

Well, this is an important detail. Did the other patrons say "shh" to the child or "shoosh"? I find Shoosh to be far more aggressive (it's like, shut the hell up!" than Shh (which could be like, let's use our quiet voices!)

Some other details to consider--was it only one patron or several patrons? And I wonder if the person(s) used a dismissive hand movement while "shooshing," "shushing," or "shhing?" That could have been even more frightening.

[Anonymous]

"Shush" or "hush". "Shoosh" isn't something people say, I think, but a portmanteau word, a combination of "shush" and "shoo".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this is shocking that everyone is coming down so hard on OP. This is a child we're talking about here, in a family-friendly restaurant, having a nice time and being happy about pancakes. How in the world has this degenerated into their lack of parenting skills because some old farts were mean to their son? To all of you PPs, have your children never made a peep in a restaurant?! What is the matter with you people to be so obnoxiously judgmental? Do me a favor and wear a sign around your neck so when I encounter you in a restaurant I know that it's perfectly acceptable to talk to your kid in whatever way I deem appropriate.

I haven't posted yet, but I simply don't believe the OP that her child was merely loud once or twice, and turned around and just said hi. Perhaps it's the dramatic way she characterizes the other couple's actions - an exaggerated shush = being mean? Please. And her repeated, "but I WAS dealing with it!!" Umm - apparently not very well.

I may be completely wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if her child was misbehaving more and was louder than she has let on, that her efforts to quiet him were less than strenuous and/or unsuccessful, and the other couple's reaction was less vehement than she indicated.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

"I may be completely wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if her child was misbehaving more and was louder than she has let on, that her efforts to quiet him were less than strenuous and/or unsuccessful, and the other couple's reaction was less vehement than she indicated. "

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

If someone shooshed my kid like that I would have said "Johnny, please sit down and quit bothering those people". Simple. Your child needs to learn that not everyone is friendly and in love with kids. No matter how cute they are. There is a thing called boundaries. The sooner your precious little ones learn this the better off they will be. They may be the apple of your eye, but believe me there are some out there that think babies and toddlers are to be avoided at all costs. What if that old couple in the restaurant had just found out their son died? Or that the wife has terminal cancer? Truth is you have no idea what has transpired in their day, so while it may seem harsh to you, let it go.

[Anonymous]

It can also be unsafe for little ones to be friendly with strangers. Start teaching your little ones about "space bubbles" and how to stay in theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If someone shooshed my kid like that I would have said "Johnny, please sit down and quit bothering those people". Simple. Your child needs to learn that not everyone is friendly and in love with kids. No matter how cute they are. There is a thing called boundaries. The sooner your precious little ones learn this the better off they will be. They may be the apple of your eye, but believe me there are some out there that think babies and toddlers are to be avoided at all costs. What if that old couple in the restaurant had just found out their son died? Or that the wife has terminal cancer? Truth is you have no idea what has transpired in their day, so while it may seem harsh to you, let it go.

Excellent advice!

[Anonymous]

Boundaries go both ways - the old couple could have just ignored the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boundaries go both ways - the old couple could have just ignored the kid.

Yea, we could go round and round all day! The old couple could have also moved to a new seat, or politely ask the parents to keep the kid quiet. The parents could have moved....etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boundaries go both ways - the old couple could have just ignored the kid.

and perhaps they had, to no effect.

[Anonymous]

OP: My DH would have reacted like your DH, but I would not have been there anyway. My son was not easy to take to any restaurants after he was 7 months old and we pretty much stayed out of anywhere - including IHOP - until he was 4.

I also might have shushed your child if I was sitting with my back to him and he he loudly leaned over and say Hi! to the point in which he made me jump! Loud is one thing, but to be startled is something else and their reaction might have just been instinctive. They also have the right not to engage your child and by saying 'shush' they made it clear they did not want to talk with him. If they had answered him, he might have kept trying to talk to them and they weren't interested. It may have seemed rude, but they were there to eat - not be social with strange kids.
You handled it right, and I think your DH was off the mark. I would have said the same to my DH. It was actually a good lesson for your son because he got to see that not everyone wants to play and socialize when he wants to do that. it is part of socialization of how to behave in public. I am sorry he cried, but kids do cry when they feel rebuked - and in a way, he was.