Family life sucks

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Same leverage a valuable employee always has.

That’s just a lie, and you know that.

A pregnant woman is at her most vulnerable if she loses her job because she needs the salary and healthcare coverage more than ever before. If visibly pregnant, she is unlikely to get hired anywhere because she’ll be seen as a liability. She will not be eligible for FMLA at her new job. And many employers preclude new employees from taking parental leave even if there is a paid parental leave program.

A pregnant employee has the least leverage, and employers capitalize on that.

Women in tech, finance, fed, and consulting change jobs all the time right at the end of whatever mat leave off they have. Then use their time home for interviewing and job searching.

If there’s no hiring or training or replacement or downtime risk to your employer if you leave, then I guess you aren’t that valuable there. That’s OK. You’re on a different path.

I’m confused. You’re now suggesting women take unpaid leave to have a baby in between jobs and start interviewing post partum?

You can insult me all you’d like, but you’re now at least acknowledging that employers have an incentive to discriminate against pregnant employees and job applicants. This is precisely why we need a mandatory paid parental leave with gender parity and job opportunities protection.

Move to Norway!!

I don’t have to. I can to any of the *checks notes* 187 other countries with paid maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Np I have friends overseas. The pay isn’t 100% of your salary on maternity leave (and their pay is already lower). So once they have a baby, their salaries take a big hit. They can’t return to work earlier because it’s stigmatized and daycare don’t take babies before 1 (one friend mentioned before 3 but idk if that’s true). Once kids are school aged, they have the same issues that moms have here where school ends at 3 but work ends at 5, however aftercare’s aren’t plentiful. Many stick to one kid for financial and logistical reasons. My Norwegian friends own their own condo, but it’s a 2 bedroom. They only had one kid for space reasons. I’m sure none of those reasons are insurmountable for people who really want kids but maternity leave isn’t this panacea that it’s purported to be.

It’s this. The woman is assumed to stay home for a year and the pay is low if you have a white collar job. It is a big financial hit in Scandinavian countries where housing costs are much higher than here. It also seriously derails the woman’s career.

No, the woman isn't assumed to stay home for a year. That's kind of the point of the Norwegian model. Every couple gets a year of paid parental leave (they can do 100% paid for 49 total weeks or 80% for 59 weeks). Mothers have a 15 week "quota," and six of those weeks must be taken immediately following birth. The father also gets a 15 week "quota" that can not be given to the mother. Then there is a joint 16-20 weeks that can be shared between both parents. This strongly encourages fathers to take a minimum of 15 weeks paid leave.

As a result, 90% of fathers in Norway take some parental leave. And about 70% take at least the full 15 weeks. And unsurprisingly, Norwegian fathers spend about 33% more time caring for their children and doing unpaid housework than American fathers.

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2023/08/22/1194946948/im-a-new-dad-heres-why-im-taking-more-parental-leave-than-my-wife

https://www.arbeidstilsynet.no/en/pay-and-engagement-of-employees/permisjoner/parental-leave/

https://www.ssb.no/en/kultur-og-fritid/artikler-og-publikasjoner/yrkes-og-familiearbeid-i-barnefasen

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/atus.nr0.htm

This doesn't surprise me much then because my husband took the first four weeks off with me, then took more after I went back to work after 16 weeks. From day one he did as much as I did (we had twins who were premature but not in the NICU and they were on a mix of formula and pumped milk) and 15 years later he still does. I get that only women can breastfeed, but I think a lot of you do yourselves a disservice by not having your husbands do as much as possible in the beginning (pump some and let your husband feed the babies!) then you've set the tone for the rest of your lives.

Pumping is not the same experience for everyone. For me, I didn't pump much because I found it really unpleasant (yes I tried different pumps and pump parts) and time consuming. We were also advised not to start pumping until baby was 6 weeks old.

Blaming women for their husbands not doing their part as a parent because the WOMEN did not do extra labor during the most labor intensive phase of parenting is a special kind of misogyny.

Way to miss the point. Enjoy your unhappy marriage I guess!

Nope, agree with the PP. If a woman is pumping milk (or the family is using formula) then yes, of course, the DH should be taking on more of the feeding duties. But if she's EBFing, for whatever reason, he should just do other stuff. Breastfeeding doesn't prevent a man from caretaking, that's absurd. Change diapers, get her dressed, give her baths, hold the baby when she cries, pay attention to her. Be the one looking up what to do about a fever or checking when the next pediatricians appointment is. Research nap schedules and initiate getting the baby on one. Do all the planning around his parents visiting or visiting them to meet the baby. And hey, why not check with mom while she's breastfeeding. Maybe being an around the clock food source is making her hungry or dehydrated -- can you make a sandwich or get her some water?

The idea that women somehow get in the way of men participating fully in parenting at the baby stage is just misogynist nonsense. There's lot to do. Do it. If you're unsure what to do, ask (your wife, the doctor, your own parents, friends with kids). Be a grown up. Take initiative.

Anyone claiming that men are just desperate to be fully involved parents if only their wives would pump more milk is a moron. Kids start eating some solids at 6 months! Breastfeeding is barely a blip and only one part of childcare. Honestly.

Well, you also missed the point of the post but I hope you had fun with your ranting.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

You have a skewed view based on where you live and your SES? 43% of American women have access to paid parental leave benefits. And you’re right, the highest earners who are least in need of paid leave are the ones who disproportionates get it.

But wouldn't I be considered part of that % that didn't have paid parental leave? I used my own sick and annual leave. I would say I had maternity leave though. I feel like the numbers are skewed.

I also did not have maternity leave - I accrued my sick and vacation leave in order to take the time off. I was a fed lawyer (twins born in 2014).

Do your vs action days roll indefinitely or expire once 15 mos from earned?

Most companies got rid of unlimited vacation day accruals. Lockheed certainly did, as people left and had 3-6 month vacation day payouts!

I used predominantly sick days but my vacation days did not expire at the time, which was 12 years ago.

[Anonymous]

People just have to stop arguing so much. I blame the internet.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Did you get pregnant by surprise?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Did you get pregnant by surprise?

Sort of? It took over a year of trying, the assistance of a reproductive endocrinologist, and multiple losses. You know most people can just decide exactly when they’ll get pregnant, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to stay with my sister for a week to help out as she just had her second child. I don’t have any kids yet, but honestly it seemed like her life is hellish. As is a lot of my friends in the same phase of life. They have high friction relationships with their partners, are trying to juggle too much on their own, and are squeezed financially.

It made me wonder if there’s something wrong with how we do the family thing America. Is there a better way? Or is this just life for a lot people with kids?

Can you give some examples of what exactly was "hellish" with her baby or other kid or spouse or household?
How old is everyone? What's their plan for childcare?

Sounds like you view your married with kids friends the same way.

I don't view any of this as an America thing or another country or culture, unless you are living with a young set of grandparents arrangement.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Same leverage a valuable employee always has.

That’s just a lie, and you know that.

A pregnant woman is at her most vulnerable if she loses her job because she needs the salary and healthcare coverage more than ever before. If visibly pregnant, she is unlikely to get hired anywhere because she’ll be seen as a liability. She will not be eligible for FMLA at her new job. And many employers preclude new employees from taking parental leave even if there is a paid parental leave program.

A pregnant employee has the least leverage, and employers capitalize on that.

You’re wrong. You don’t get it.

Get more skills and add more value so you can write your own employment contract and benefits. Certainly a 2-4 month paid leave contract.

That’s not how it works. But even so, why should someone have to “earn” parental leave when having children is for the public good? Not to mention the fact that it takes time to build skill and experience. You’re asking someone to wait to have children until they ascend to a high level. Fertility doesn’t work that way, and women are ill-advised to sit around waiting to peak in their careers.

20% of American adults are illiterate and another 20% of high school grads read below a 6th grade level so what public good are you talking about? All the welfare they need?

Do you want a growth-based economy? You can have that two ways—more immigrants or more domestic babies born. Take your pick. I’m good with either.

50% welfare state won’t work anywhere. Good luck!

You think paid parental leave = welfare state? Even though 95% of countries have it? Weird.

no one said that. what is up with u?
daddy leave is on the way out given the economy and 2022 peak over-hiring talent wars.

NP.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Same leverage a valuable employee always has.

That’s just a lie, and you know that.

A pregnant woman is at her most vulnerable if she loses her job because she needs the salary and healthcare coverage more than ever before. If visibly pregnant, she is unlikely to get hired anywhere because she’ll be seen as a liability. She will not be eligible for FMLA at her new job. And many employers preclude new employees from taking parental leave even if there is a paid parental leave program.

A pregnant employee has the least leverage, and employers capitalize on that.

Women in tech, finance, fed, and consulting change jobs all the time right at the end of whatever mat leave off they have. Then use their time home for interviewing and job searching.

If there’s no hiring or training or replacement or downtime risk to your employer if you leave, then I guess you aren’t that valuable there. That’s OK. You’re on a different path.

I’m confused. You’re now suggesting women take unpaid leave to have a baby in between jobs and start interviewing post partum?

You can insult me all you’d like, but you’re now at least acknowledging that employers have an incentive to discriminate against pregnant employees and job applicants. This is precisely why we need a mandatory paid parental leave with gender parity and job opportunities protection.

Move to Norway!!

I don’t have to. I can to any of the *checks notes* 187 other countries with paid maternity leave.

good, get going. find another nutjob website to ruin as well.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

You have a skewed view based on where you live and your SES? 43% of American women have access to paid parental leave benefits. And you’re right, the highest earners who are least in need of paid leave are the ones who disproportionates get it.

But wouldn't I be considered part of that % that didn't have paid parental leave? I used my own sick and annual leave. I would say I had maternity leave though. I feel like the numbers are skewed.

I also did not have maternity leave - I accrued my sick and vacation leave in order to take the time off. I was a fed lawyer (twins born in 2014).

Do your vs action days roll indefinitely or expire once 15 mos from earned?

Most companies got rid of unlimited vacation day accruals. Lockheed certainly did, as people left and had 3-6 month vacation day payouts!

I used predominantly sick days but my vacation days did not expire at the time, which was 12 years ago.

fso parents just piggybank all of our days too. worked out fine * 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Did you get pregnant by surprise?

Sort of? It took over a year of trying, the assistance of a reproductive endocrinologist, and multiple losses. You know most people can just decide exactly when they’ll get pregnant, right?

odd how several pages back of your sock puppeting you said you're still trying and not preggo.

hard to keep track of these fabrications, i know. especially whilst working at your $600k pa big law job at age 32.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Did you get pregnant by surprise?

Sort of? It took over a year of trying, the assistance of a reproductive endocrinologist, and multiple losses. You know most people can just decide exactly when they’ll get pregnant, right?

odd how several pages back of your sock puppeting you said you're still trying and not preggo.

hard to keep track of these fabrications, i know. especially whilst working at your $600k pa big law job at age 32.

You seem really confused how childbearing works.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Same leverage a valuable employee always has.

That’s just a lie, and you know that.

A pregnant woman is at her most vulnerable if she loses her job because she needs the salary and healthcare coverage more than ever before. If visibly pregnant, she is unlikely to get hired anywhere because she’ll be seen as a liability. She will not be eligible for FMLA at her new job. And many employers preclude new employees from taking parental leave even if there is a paid parental leave program.

A pregnant employee has the least leverage, and employers capitalize on that.

Women in tech, finance, fed, and consulting change jobs all the time right at the end of whatever mat leave off they have. Then use their time home for interviewing and job searching.

If there’s no hiring or training or replacement or downtime risk to your employer if you leave, then I guess you aren’t that valuable there. That’s OK. You’re on a different path.

I’m confused. You’re now suggesting women take unpaid leave to have a baby in between jobs and start interviewing post partum?

You can insult me all you’d like, but you’re now at least acknowledging that employers have an incentive to discriminate against pregnant employees and job applicants. This is precisely why we need a mandatory paid parental leave with gender parity and job opportunities protection.

Move to Norway!!

I don’t have to. I can to any of the *checks notes* 187 other countries with paid maternity leave.

Hope the massive paycut is worth it!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Same leverage a valuable employee always has.

That’s just a lie, and you know that.

A pregnant woman is at her most vulnerable if she loses her job because she needs the salary and healthcare coverage more than ever before. If visibly pregnant, she is unlikely to get hired anywhere because she’ll be seen as a liability. She will not be eligible for FMLA at her new job. And many employers preclude new employees from taking parental leave even if there is a paid parental leave program.

A pregnant employee has the least leverage, and employers capitalize on that.

You’re wrong. You don’t get it.

Get more skills and add more value so you can write your own employment contract and benefits. Certainly a 2-4 month paid leave contract.

That’s not how it works. But even so, why should someone have to “earn” parental leave when having children is for the public good? Not to mention the fact that it takes time to build skill and experience. You’re asking someone to wait to have children until they ascend to a high level. Fertility doesn’t work that way, and women are ill-advised to sit around waiting to peak in their careers.

20% of American adults are illiterate and another 20% of high school grads read below a 6th grade level so what public good are you talking about? All the welfare they need?

Do you want a growth-based economy? You can have that two ways—more immigrants or more domestic babies born. Take your pick. I’m good with either.

50% welfare state won’t work anywhere. Good luck!

You think paid parental leave = welfare state? Even though 95% of countries have it? Weird.

It can’t help their economies. America wouldn’t have innovated and created like we have if we all stayed home on parental leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most women want to stay at home after having kids? I don't think they do. I personally would like to work 7 hour days after having kids (instead of 8.5). That would be ideal for me, and you could cut my salary by that same amount. I liked having 12 weeks paid maternity leave and then returning to work.

I see the stats in newspapers on maternity leave, but it doesn't mesh with what I see first hand. All of my girl friends have either had paid maternity leave through work, or paid through a work STD policy, or they used their own annual and sick leave (what I did). Career jobs do all have maternity leave or STD policies for birth.

Correct

Everyone with a professional salaried job gets 12 weeks paid by employer FMLA leave, must work there over 12 mos to qualify.

Hi. This is wrong. If your employer has fewer than 50 employees AT YOUR WORK SITE (or within 75 miles) you are not eligible for FMLA. While I get paid parental leave, I have no job protection because we have fewer than 50 employees in DC (but hundreds nationwide).

Correct. What about it? Your employees can’t hold your small business ransom.


Did they let go the last several pregnant women while they were home on (unprotected) leave?

How many weeks of (unprotected) leave did they pay or at what %?

Are these even high value, skilled roles? Because the more easily replaceable you are, the less you’re going to make at the office or on leave.


Go work somewhere else if that bothers you.

What small business? My employer has over 1,000 employees nationwide. The HQ just happens to be in a different city.

Women are severely underrepresented, particularly in leadership, in my industry.

I don’t have any job protection if I have a baby.

You mean b/c everyone is a remote worker?

Is that why FMLA doesn’t apply? Because clearly you’re over 50 FTEs.

Cut to the point PP. Are you an unskilled wage worker

Dude, I am a literal in-office biglaw attorney making over 600k/yr, but I’m sure you’ll somehow use that to disparage.

You are not eligible for FMLA unless you work in a location where your employer employs at least 50 employees within a 75 miles radius. My office is a satellite office, and we don’t meet that cut off. The HQ is New York. So no, I don’t work for a small business. I also still have no job protection if I have a baby or get seriously ill, even though my employer provides paid leave.

Don’t work there then if their paper rules bother you so much.

If you were so amazing you could negotiate whatever you want for leave. Like most adult professionals do with their boss.

This.

Lots of room to negotiate if not club Fed or big F500

How do you propose negotiating when you’re pregnant? What kind of leverage do you think the employee has there?

Same leverage a valuable employee always has.

That’s just a lie, and you know that.

A pregnant woman is at her most vulnerable if she loses her job because she needs the salary and healthcare coverage more than ever before. If visibly pregnant, she is unlikely to get hired anywhere because she’ll be seen as a liability. She will not be eligible for FMLA at her new job. And many employers preclude new employees from taking parental leave even if there is a paid parental leave program.

A pregnant employee has the least leverage, and employers capitalize on that.

Women in tech, finance, fed, and consulting change jobs all the time right at the end of whatever mat leave off they have. Then use their time home for interviewing and job searching.

If there’s no hiring or training or replacement or downtime risk to your employer if you leave, then I guess you aren’t that valuable there. That’s OK. You’re on a different path.

I’m confused. You’re now suggesting women take unpaid leave to have a baby in between jobs and start interviewing post partum?

You can insult me all you’d like, but you’re now at least acknowledging that employers have an incentive to discriminate against pregnant employees and job applicants. This is precisely why we need a mandatory paid parental leave with gender parity and job opportunities protection.

Move to Norway!!

Yes you'll get lower crime rates, parental leave and beautiful scenery.

You’ll also be taking out a massive mortgage on a much lower salary than in the US. Also higher taxes. Research their amounts of personal debt.

Norway has to offer parental leave or no one there could afford to have a baby.