Having an overweight teenage daughter is so hard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women get so hysterical about weight. My coworker (a man) just told me today that he needs to shed some pounds because he’s borderline overweight. He literally just laughed and said he was going to cut back some and stop eating fast food for two months. It was like a non-event, a thing he wanted to address, so he is. Women attach so much intensity and shame and fear to fat. No wonder no one can breathe the word around family.

Well, one reason is because men have a much easier time losing weight. Yeah, I'd be easy breezy beautiful about it too if all I had to do was stop eating fast food for a couple months to lose 10 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for those with endocrinologist suggestions (a side convo!). Pediatric specialists is apparently breaking up, and they are the ones with a mile long list. Potentially easier with INOVA? I'll check it out. Also will check out the other rec.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women get so hysterical about weight. My coworker (a man) just told me today that he needs to shed some pounds because he’s borderline overweight. He literally just laughed and said he was going to cut back some and stop eating fast food for two months. It was like a non-event, a thing he wanted to address, so he is. Women attach so much intensity and shame and fear to fat. No wonder no one can breathe the word around family.

Well, one reason is because men have a much easier time losing weight. Yeah, I'd be easy breezy beautiful about it too if all I had to do was stop eating fast food for a couple months to lose 10 pounds.

But the point is that women (evidenced in this thread) cannot even talk about weight without attaching all these unnecessary superlatives about shame and disorders and not speaking to family members, etc. It will be much harder to lose weight if you stack all of these unrelated emotions and values to it. If you can just say, hey it’s unhealthy to be x pounds overweight, what am I going to do about it? you will be much better off mentally and a lot more successful.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP why the hell can’t your sons just eat more whole healthy foods? I find it really messed up that you won’t even consider getting rid of the calorie dense junk. They can just eat more potatoes at dinner. They don’t need the crap either.

Clearly you don't have teen boys. Come back and comment again when you do.

For real. Athletic teen boys easily eat 5000 calories per day.

That's not easy to do on hard boiled eggs and cucumbers (or whatever healthy snack you are imagining).

So what do they eat?

Protein shakes
Full fat yogurt bowls
Pasta with butter and meat sauce
Chicken, like 1/2 a chicken
Potatoes, loaded
Caesar salad, or a chef salad with ranch
Jambalaya sausage
Steak
Egg sandwich with bacon and cheese
Apples with peanut butter
Grilled cheese sandwiches or quesadillas
Bagels with cream cheese
Burritos with rice/cheese/meat/beans

these are meals not snacks

No, they are snacks

1/2 of a chicken is not a "snack" by any stretch of the imagination. Even people who don't have sons have husbands and brothers and fathers. This is not normal snacking.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP why the hell can’t your sons just eat more whole healthy foods? I find it really messed up that you won’t even consider getting rid of the calorie dense junk. They can just eat more potatoes at dinner. They don’t need the crap either.

Clearly you don't have teen boys. Come back and comment again when you do.

For real. Athletic teen boys easily eat 5000 calories per day.

That's not easy to do on hard boiled eggs and cucumbers (or whatever healthy snack you are imagining).

So what do they eat?

Protein shakes
Full fat yogurt bowls
Pasta with butter and meat sauce
Chicken, like 1/2 a chicken
Potatoes, loaded
Caesar salad, or a chef salad with ranch
Jambalaya sausage
Steak
Egg sandwich with bacon and cheese
Apples with peanut butter
Grilled cheese sandwiches or quesadillas
Bagels with cream cheese
Burritos with rice/cheese/meat/beans

these are meals not snacks

No, they are snacks

1/2 of a chicken is not a "snack" by any stretch of the imagination. Even people who don't have sons have husbands and brothers and fathers. This is not normal snacking.

I mean you can call it whatever you want but 1/2 a chicken won't fill up an athletic teen boy for long. That's like...what, 700 calories? My kid's meals are more like 1500 calories and he has four of them per day plus snacks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women get so hysterical about weight. My coworker (a man) just told me today that he needs to shed some pounds because he’s borderline overweight. He literally just laughed and said he was going to cut back some and stop eating fast food for two months. It was like a non-event, a thing he wanted to address, so he is. Women attach so much intensity and shame and fear to fat. No wonder no one can breathe the word around family.

Well, one reason is because men have a much easier time losing weight. Yeah, I'd be easy breezy beautiful about it too if all I had to do was stop eating fast food for a couple months to lose 10 pounds.

But the point is that women (evidenced in this thread) cannot even talk about weight without attaching all these unnecessary superlatives about shame and disorders and not speaking to family members, etc. It will be much harder to lose weight if you stack all of these unrelated emotions and values to it. If you can just say, hey it’s unhealthy to be x pounds overweight, what am I going to do about it? you will be much better off mentally and a lot more successful.

This right here.
I will never understand the “you must never mention another persons weight ever, you fat shamer!” mentality.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So many of you PPs are insane. Obesity is a problem. I have three cousins who died young due to obesity related diseases. I was overweight as a child and I HATED it. Every minute of it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me with exercise and eating habits, but they were obese, too.

OP, you are right to worry. Obesity is terrible and yet totally preventable. I wish you luck

If it's so preventable why are 40% of Americans obese?

Poor choices. Obesity is not rocket science. We sit around all day and eat bad food with high calories and low nutrition

No one treating an obese population thinks this. Your comment is a prime example of Dunning-Kruger.

this is just not true. Not true at all.
Obesity is not some mysterious disease. It's a pretty clear cause and effect. are some people more prone? Yes. But we know what the base issues are and how to get out of it.
People like you making excuses for obesity and trying to frame it as some random disease like lupus are fooling yourselves. And, frankly, you're a danger to society. You're why we have so many obese people. It is not ok to be obese.

Again, no one in the field says this. Only ignorant people outside of it.

Let me guess. You're in the field and read that in Vogue somewhere, right?
Almost everyone that I know in medicine says otherwise, and they live with me. So nice try.

Do they always opine outside their specialties?

HA! Because the anonymous rantings of a DCUM lunatic is so much more reliable. Get off WebMD and feed your kids something healthy. And while you're at it, go for a walk.

Since we are on an anonymous forum I’ll tell you what I really think about all those “people in medicine” living in your house. In my 20 year career in healthcare, I’ve discovered most practitioners are quite dumb. Incompetent at critical thinking. Really only skilled at memorizing, which was once incredibly helpful and is now mostly replaced by technology. There are very few true experts moving the ball forward in any area of practice but many self-aggrandizing frontline practitioners who couldn’t tell a well-designed study from a WebMD article. They are completely unable to grasp basic details of the validity of research like population size, confounding factors, P-hacking, etc. My only solace as a patient is that I can circumvent them when I need to with my privilege and ability to pay out of pocket. But I feel terrible for everyone else out there, seeing these hacks and getting truly horrible care and advice.

Hopefully OP can find someone actually competent. But it will be hard.

Let me guess, you're in medical sales. Or worse, admin. Not an actual physician or researcher yourself but damn do you know a lot about it.
Like I said, go for a walk.

Pharma executive actually. Thank God we in pharma actually cure disease and save lives because your PA husband and CNA daughter sure aren’t.

OMG. With that comment you lost all credibility!
You think you are a savior pumping people full of weight loss drugs?

I mean, it’s better than a solution that doesn’t work.

Go away pharma exec!

I'm not a pharma exec and I won't go away. But I can see and acknowledge the reality that nothing has worked so far for obesity on a population level and the injectables look incredibly promising so far.

It’s such an inappropriate suggestion since OPs child hasn’t tried anything else.

I don’t disagree. Nobody suggested pharmaceutical options in this particular comment thread, so I wasn’t responding to that. I was just defending the pharma executive because she is right, they are the ones with the most promising solution at this point in time in this particular arena.

14:14 suggested it.
Diet and exercise are proven to work, as is lap band. Stop kidding yourself that pharma has a quick fix.

[Anonymous]

this is the PP asking about endocrinologists, I think I've found who we have been looking for: https://www.themehraclinic.com

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all the responses but thought the one about seeing an endocrinologist was good. Going up 4 sizes in a year sounds really quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read all the responses but thought the one about seeing an endocrinologist was good. Going up 4 sizes in a year sounds really quick.

Really does sound like a thyroid, or endocrine, or PCOS problem of some sort.

[Anonymous]

OP I don't know if you're still checking, and I haven't read this thread but I do see the nasty troll that helped it get into the moderator's blog. I just want to say that I know how hard it is to watch your kid develop in a way that causes you to fear for their future health and happiness. My son was gaining a lot of weight around age 12, and I was very concerned, and then thank goodness he had a growth spurt, developed a sudden interest in fitness (and girls), and is now a healthy weight again. I don't know if it will help, but it sounds like your daughter has a lot of positive qualities, like playing varsity soccer and doing all her homework. Try to focus on those and appreciate them. Remember that she is old enough to decide for herself if she needs to lose weight or be healthier and what to do about it. Unless she is approaching morbid obesity and the doctor is concerned, you might just need to wait it out and let her be herself.

The only other thing you can do is make her healthier foods at home, if you are not already. I mean, really learn about nutrition and which foods are lower in fat, don't have so many white carbs or sugar, etc., and try to have better foods in the house. Snacks are fine, but even just swapping out baked potato chips for the regular kind will help a lot. Buy whole wheat bread instead of white, get rid of sugary foods and sweets other than fruit, etc.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So many of you PPs are insane. Obesity is a problem. I have three cousins who died young due to obesity related diseases. I was overweight as a child and I HATED it. Every minute of it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me with exercise and eating habits, but they were obese, too.

OP, you are right to worry. Obesity is terrible and yet totally preventable. I wish you luck

If it's so preventable why are 40% of Americans obese?

Poor choices. Obesity is not rocket science. We sit around all day and eat bad food with high calories and low nutrition

No one treating an obese population thinks this. Your comment is a prime example of Dunning-Kruger.

this is just not true. Not true at all.
Obesity is not some mysterious disease. It's a pretty clear cause and effect. are some people more prone? Yes. But we know what the base issues are and how to get out of it.
People like you making excuses for obesity and trying to frame it as some random disease like lupus are fooling yourselves. And, frankly, you're a danger to society. You're why we have so many obese people. It is not ok to be obese.

Again, no one in the field says this. Only ignorant people outside of it.

Let me guess. You're in the field and read that in Vogue somewhere, right?
Almost everyone that I know in medicine says otherwise, and they live with me. So nice try.

Do they always opine outside their specialties?

HA! Because the anonymous rantings of a DCUM lunatic is so much more reliable. Get off WebMD and feed your kids something healthy. And while you're at it, go for a walk.

Since we are on an anonymous forum I’ll tell you what I really think about all those “people in medicine” living in your house. In my 20 year career in healthcare, I’ve discovered most practitioners are quite dumb. Incompetent at critical thinking. Really only skilled at memorizing, which was once incredibly helpful and is now mostly replaced by technology. There are very few true experts moving the ball forward in any area of practice but many self-aggrandizing frontline practitioners who couldn’t tell a well-designed study from a WebMD article. They are completely unable to grasp basic details of the validity of research like population size, confounding factors, P-hacking, etc. My only solace as a patient is that I can circumvent them when I need to with my privilege and ability to pay out of pocket. But I feel terrible for everyone else out there, seeing these hacks and getting truly horrible care and advice.

Hopefully OP can find someone actually competent. But it will be hard.

Let me guess, you're in medical sales. Or worse, admin. Not an actual physician or researcher yourself but damn do you know a lot about it.
Like I said, go for a walk.

Pharma executive actually. Thank God we in pharma actually cure disease and save lives because your PA husband and CNA daughter sure aren’t.

OMG. With that comment you lost all credibility!
You think you are a savior pumping people full of weight loss drugs?

I mean, it’s better than a solution that doesn’t work.

Go away pharma exec!

I'm not a pharma exec and I won't go away. But I can see and acknowledge the reality that nothing has worked so far for obesity on a population level and the injectables look incredibly promising so far.

It’s such an inappropriate suggestion since OPs child hasn’t tried anything else.

I don’t disagree. Nobody suggested pharmaceutical options in this particular comment thread, so I wasn’t responding to that. I was just defending the pharma executive because she is right, they are the ones with the most promising solution at this point in time in this particular arena.

14:14 suggested it.
Diet and exercise are proven to work, as is lap band. Stop kidding yourself that pharma has a quick fix.

That’s why I said “this particular comment thread.” Is reading very hard for you?

And LOL that’s hilarious, no one does lap band anymore. Vertical sleeve gastrectomy and roux en y bypass are pretty successful, but why on earth would you remove 80% your stomach or rearrange your intenstines when you could treat your obesity with medication?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you PPs are insane. Obesity is a problem. I have three cousins who died young due to obesity related diseases. I was overweight as a child and I HATED it. Every minute of it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me with exercise and eating habits, but they were obese, too.

OP, you are right to worry. Obesity is terrible and yet totally preventable. I wish you luck

If it's so preventable why are 40% of Americans obese?

Poor choices. Obesity is not rocket science. We sit around all day and eat bad food with high calories and low nutrition

No one treating an obese population thinks this. Your comment is a prime example of Dunning-Kruger.

this is just not true. Not true at all.
Obesity is not some mysterious disease. It's a pretty clear cause and effect. are some people more prone? Yes. But we know what the base issues are and how to get out of it.
People like you making excuses for obesity and trying to frame it as some random disease like lupus are fooling yourselves. And, frankly, you're a danger to society. You're why we have so many obese people. It is not ok to be obese.

Again, no one in the field says this. Only ignorant people outside of it.

Let me guess. You're in the field and read that in Vogue somewhere, right?
Almost everyone that I know in medicine says otherwise, and they live with me. So nice try.

Do they always opine outside their specialties?

HA! Because the anonymous rantings of a DCUM lunatic is so much more reliable. Get off WebMD and feed your kids something healthy. And while you're at it, go for a walk.

Since we are on an anonymous forum I’ll tell you what I really think about all those “people in medicine” living in your house. In my 20 year career in healthcare, I’ve discovered most practitioners are quite dumb. Incompetent at critical thinking. Really only skilled at memorizing, which was once incredibly helpful and is now mostly replaced by technology. There are very few true experts moving the ball forward in any area of practice but many self-aggrandizing frontline practitioners who couldn’t tell a well-designed study from a WebMD article. They are completely unable to grasp basic details of the validity of research like population size, confounding factors, P-hacking, etc. My only solace as a patient is that I can circumvent them when I need to with my privilege and ability to pay out of pocket. But I feel terrible for everyone else out there, seeing these hacks and getting truly horrible care and advice.

Hopefully OP can find someone actually competent. But it will be hard.

Let me guess, you're in medical sales. Or worse, admin. Not an actual physician or researcher yourself but damn do you know a lot about it.
Like I said, go for a walk.

Pharma executive actually. Thank God we in pharma actually cure disease and save lives because your PA husband and CNA daughter sure aren’t.

OMG. With that comment you lost all credibility!
You think you are a savior pumping people full of weight loss drugs?

I mean, it’s better than a solution that doesn’t work.

Go away pharma exec!

I'm not a pharma exec and I won't go away. But I can see and acknowledge the reality that nothing has worked so far for obesity on a population level and the injectables look incredibly promising so far.

It’s such an inappropriate suggestion since OPs child hasn’t tried anything else.

I don’t disagree. Nobody suggested pharmaceutical options in this particular comment thread, so I wasn’t responding to that. I was just defending the pharma executive because she is right, they are the ones with the most promising solution at this point in time in this particular arena.

14:14 suggested it.
Diet and exercise are proven to work, as is lap band. Stop kidding yourself that pharma has a quick fix.

That’s why I said “this particular comment thread.” Is reading very hard for you?

And LOL that’s hilarious, no one does lap band anymore. Vertical sleeve gastrectomy and roux en y bypass are pretty successful, but why on earth would you remove 80% your stomach or rearrange your intenstines when you could treat your obesity with medication?

Goodness. Give it up. These medications haven’t even been proven safe or effective, or have a long track record and you’re going about how it’s so much better than surgery? No, thanks.

[Anonymous]

actually the *glutide families have quite a long track record and are helping millions of people with various metabolic disorders!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you PPs are insane. Obesity is a problem. I have three cousins who died young due to obesity related diseases. I was overweight as a child and I HATED it. Every minute of it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me with exercise and eating habits, but they were obese, too.

OP, you are right to worry. Obesity is terrible and yet totally preventable. I wish you luck

If it's so preventable why are 40% of Americans obese?

Poor choices. Obesity is not rocket science. We sit around all day and eat bad food with high calories and low nutrition

No one treating an obese population thinks this. Your comment is a prime example of Dunning-Kruger.

this is just not true. Not true at all.
Obesity is not some mysterious disease. It's a pretty clear cause and effect. are some people more prone? Yes. But we know what the base issues are and how to get out of it.
People like you making excuses for obesity and trying to frame it as some random disease like lupus are fooling yourselves. And, frankly, you're a danger to society. You're why we have so many obese people. It is not ok to be obese.

Again, no one in the field says this. Only ignorant people outside of it.

Let me guess. You're in the field and read that in Vogue somewhere, right?
Almost everyone that I know in medicine says otherwise, and they live with me. So nice try.

Do they always opine outside their specialties?

HA! Because the anonymous rantings of a DCUM lunatic is so much more reliable. Get off WebMD and feed your kids something healthy. And while you're at it, go for a walk.

Since we are on an anonymous forum I’ll tell you what I really think about all those “people in medicine” living in your house. In my 20 year career in healthcare, I’ve discovered most practitioners are quite dumb. Incompetent at critical thinking. Really only skilled at memorizing, which was once incredibly helpful and is now mostly replaced by technology. There are very few true experts moving the ball forward in any area of practice but many self-aggrandizing frontline practitioners who couldn’t tell a well-designed study from a WebMD article. They are completely unable to grasp basic details of the validity of research like population size, confounding factors, P-hacking, etc. My only solace as a patient is that I can circumvent them when I need to with my privilege and ability to pay out of pocket. But I feel terrible for everyone else out there, seeing these hacks and getting truly horrible care and advice.

Hopefully OP can find someone actually competent. But it will be hard.

Let me guess, you're in medical sales. Or worse, admin. Not an actual physician or researcher yourself but damn do you know a lot about it.
Like I said, go for a walk.

Pharma executive actually. Thank God we in pharma actually cure disease and save lives because your PA husband and CNA daughter sure aren’t.

OMG. With that comment you lost all credibility!
You think you are a savior pumping people full of weight loss drugs?

I mean, it’s better than a solution that doesn’t work.

Go away pharma exec!

I'm not a pharma exec and I won't go away. But I can see and acknowledge the reality that nothing has worked so far for obesity on a population level and the injectables look incredibly promising so far.

It’s such an inappropriate suggestion since OPs child hasn’t tried anything else.

I don’t disagree. Nobody suggested pharmaceutical options in this particular comment thread, so I wasn’t responding to that. I was just defending the pharma executive because she is right, they are the ones with the most promising solution at this point in time in this particular arena.

14:14 suggested it.
Diet and exercise are proven to work, as is lap band. Stop kidding yourself that pharma has a quick fix.

That’s why I said “this particular comment thread.” Is reading very hard for you?

And LOL that’s hilarious, no one does lap band anymore. Vertical sleeve gastrectomy and roux en y bypass are pretty successful, but why on earth would you remove 80% your stomach or rearrange your intenstines when you could treat your obesity with medication?

Goodness. Give it up. These medications haven’t even been proven safe or effective, or have a long track record and you’re going about how it’s so much better than surgery? No, thanks.

Uh yes, a medication that has been proven safe is 100% better than invasive surgery that permanently changes your digestive anatomy and has a high complication rate. Obviously.