If a friend is in town but doesn't get in touch

[Anonymous]

omfg op. You stalk her on FB, then decide to insult her friends because they have the nerve to have a bachelorette party, and are mad she hasn't taken time out of her busy weekend to message you back when she probably hasn't even looked. Grow uppppppp

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds like she is busy this time. Sometimes those bachelorette weekends can be all consuming, and you might need breaks/rest in between celebrations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:omfg op. You stalk her on FB, then decide to insult her friends because they have the nerve to have a bachelorette party, and are mad she hasn't taken time out of her busy weekend to message you back when she probably hasn't even looked. Grow uppppppp

And yet you’re the one responding to a 5 1/2 year old thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s bull and people are so very selfish now. It takes two seconds if I’m your friend to say I’m in town and I might might not meet up with you this week. Grown ups communicate. Immature people makes excuses!

Not reaching out to OP was its own form of communication. Nobody is required to make contact with every person they know in a city they are visiting for a work or social function. This woman did NOTHING wrong. She didn't want to see OP or didn't have the time so she didn't reach out. It's not even close to a big deal or a slight. If she doesn't have the FB messenger app downloaded she probably never even saw OP's message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:omfg op. You stalk her on FB, then decide to insult her friends because they have the nerve to have a bachelorette party, and are mad she hasn't taken time out of her busy weekend to message you back when she probably hasn't even looked. Grow uppppppp

And yet you’re the one responding to a 5 1/2 year old thread.

Am I the one who revived it? No. It's on recent topics so I commented. Sorry I don't obsessively pore over dates and years threads are posted before reading them!

[Anonymous]

I think you should confront her and tell her everything you told us. Honesty is the best policy!

[Anonymous]

Are you close friends, friend friends, or facebook "friends"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should confront her and tell her everything you told us. Honesty is the best policy!

Lol

[Anonymous]

You guys aren't really friends, more like acquaintances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:omfg op. You stalk her on FB, then decide to insult her friends because they have the nerve to have a bachelorette party, and are mad she hasn't taken time out of her busy weekend to message you back when she probably hasn't even looked. Grow uppppppp

Grow up from the person who uses 7 p's? Are you in middle school too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand your post. She's doing something all weekend with a different group of people who you don't know. That seems legit.

This.

What do you want? You want her to invite you to tag along on someone else's special weekend? Or you want her to ditch her friends?

People like you are exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand your post. She's doing something all weekend with a different group of people who you don't know. That seems legit.

This.

What do you want? You want her to invite you to tag along on someone else's special weekend? Or you want her to ditch her friends?

People like you are exhausting.

I agree. And the follow up post is obnoxious. First - you send her a FB message after seeing her post on FB? Why not call her? Why not text her? Do you live in FB alone? And the follow up post makes it seem that OP doesn't even LIKE her "friend" and is basically insulting her maturity level - all while being immature about her posting on FB her festivities while in town. The whole thread really sounds like high school. So what she didn't respond? Maybe she was posting and kept it moving - and didn't check her FB messages. Maybe she's actually busy for the reasons that she is in town. Either way - OP is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is rude to not respond to a message that you have clearly read. Learn some social skills, and stop being such cowards.

This. There are many times where I've responded with "I would love to see you but I'm only in NYC for 24 hrs or I have planned events the whole time I'm here, we'll catch up next time." We're all adults and people are fine with that. It's the blatent ignoring and then facebook posting that is rude, but I think some of this is the FB generation. Like you OP, I would not FB my entire tour around the city, esp. if it involved nothing signficant and I was ignoring others I knew in town. I realize she's in town for a "special" event but I hardly think the entire pack will be together 24-7 for FOUR days. It's up to her though and just something to keep in mind next time you're in her town.

NP here and I actually have a friend who got very upset with me for not having time for her when I was in town for under 24 hours for a wedding. Some people can’t be adults about it and I think the OP sounds sensitive and overbearing.

[Anonymous]

As someone who moved away from home at 17 for college, please, for the love of all that is holy, just leave her alone. Sometimes, you just want to go home or do whatever without having to contact everyone you know who lives there. Funny, at 40, and since more people have moved away for whatever reason - NOW people understand. You can't see or call everyone when you are on work trips, wedding trips, bachelor(ette) trips, whatever. It's exhausting. No, she may not have an hour (and let's be real, it's not going to be an hour) to carve out of the weekend to see you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]If they're a friend, I automatically give them the benefit of the doubt[/b], and assume they are busy or for some reason can't get together with me. I don't allow myself to take things like that personally. If it happens 3 or 4 times with the same person, then I might ask them about it, but still, with an opened mind.

See the bold, OP. Friends give friends the benefit of the doubt. I'd add that friends shouldn't be insecure or insulted, particularly if it's clear that the friend was in town for a specific event with other people. The real issue is posting their pictures and updates all over Facebook. This kind of nonsense is one reason I don't have and never will have Facebook; it helps feed upset, resentment and drama, and fear of being left out or ignored.