This is not real life - paying for college edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

That was good advice. You should cap the 529 at around $200k and save the rest in a more flexible account. If you save for a private in a 529 and then your kid goes to a flagship, or gets a big merit scholarship, you will wind up with a bunch of money stuck in the 529.

You mean, “public” ? As in, your kid goes to a state school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which part is not real life? Yours or those you are talking about?

Ours. I'm guessing that most people on DCUM are in the top 5% of earners in the U.S. If not the top 5% then the top 10%. I don't know too many people who are in the 90%.

All of your kids’ teachers, their sports coaches, their tutors, their nannies, housekeepers, landscapers, etc are in the 90%.

[Anonymous]

This was my sibling. They thought the pricey SLAC would give their DC way more aid than DC got. They didn't run the NPC. They made too much. They couldn't float the extra, so their DC went to the local (20 min away) in state public. It worked out for them; they got a really good paying job out of college (while their friends went oos/private and are still paying off loans).

We knew we would get zilch in FA. And we were right. We only saved enough for in state for both kids. One decided to stay in state; the other is going oos but they are using part of their inheritance from grandparents to pay for it. They will come out of college a lot poorer than the DC who is going to in state, by a lot.

We are first gen immigrants. This forum actually informed me about the NPC. Never knew it existed until a couple of years ago.

It doesn't surprise me that middle America doesn't understand college costs.

[Anonymous]

Where are DC going? I have 3 DC in/ heading to college this year and have seen none of this nonsense. In fact, zero questions regarding financial aid or assistance anywhere. Notably, DC are in three very different types of schools, a Southern state school, a T25 private, and a SLAC.
We are in 2+ FB threads per school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM area has high proportion of government workers who typically save save save - and are generally pretty fiscally responsible. Here in NYC area you have high earners / high spenders who just plan on covering college from free cash flow, like i’m doing now for two kids enrolled concurrently. Typical ant vs grasshopper lol

Same in California! So many kids are doing the community college to UC path because their parents never saved much. 529s don’t seem to be a thing here. They will either cash flow it or sell stocks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you honestly just realize this op? Have you lived your whole life in the dmv bubble?

NP. Some of the posts on FB groups Class of 2026 are really sad. Especially now with new loan limits, high interest rates, layoffs.

People can’t qualify for loans. Or don’t want to take them understandably so, and they have to break the news to their kids. It’s tough out there.

And yes for many people it’s their first time in these fb college groups, so they’re seeing these conversations for the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Our family can full pay for our DS, but even we underestimated the cost because we didn’t think he would be attending an expensive private. Many kids don’t start focusing on the schools they want until sophomore and even junior year (like us!) and, by then, it is too late for their families to financially plan for paying the COA.

Fortunately, we had set aside a fair amount in a 529. It is also worth noting that financial planners don’t always understand the cost, either. We had one tell us to cap the 529 at $200,000.

But he didn't have to go to an expensive private. Of course kids don't generally focus on the schools they want until junior year but parents should be figuring out their budget before that. Nobody just ends up at a expensive private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living inside the DCUM bubble for a long time. My first kid is going to college this fall, and I've joined a few college Facebook groups. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the lack of financial resources and acumen among most people in this country. Many parents seem to be surprised that they can't afford the college their kid got into, or are strategizing about how to take out loans for the entire 4 years.

I recognize that most of us here are privileged in one way or another. Either we are high earners, we've diligently saved for school, or we understand that you shouldn't go somewhere that you can't afford. It's insanity out there.

Not everyone is well informed about college costs. Families of immigrants and first Gen college attendees aren’t familiar with the system. Also colleges usually advertise costs with average aid factored in, not everyone gets full or even enough aid.

What’s crazy is college costs, specially top ranking colleges. Colleges can keep it high for international and non citizens but they should lower costs for citizens to a more affordable level. College cost is nothing for rich, poor make it with aid but for upper middle class family not gaming finances, this is insane amount of money to pay. Their only option is to go to much lower ranking colleges offering merit money.

Asian immigrant families for the most part are well versed in terms of how much education costs, tbh it's the lower middle class or middle class white families that struggle. If you want to understand the process, there is no excuse nowadays, all the information is out there. No woe is me for the immigrants etc. Also, if you start saving when your kid is little there is no excuse not to have enough saved with the stock market post 2008,what the heck were you all doing with the money??!!

[Anonymous]

Mos people in the US really don't make that much money anymore, and the middle class is disappearing. I'm not surprised.

Also, the teenagers need guidance: my parents let me know my sophomore year they couldn't pay for any out of state schools or private schools I didn't receive scholarships for, to bring them down to in state public prices. I followed their guidelines.

[Anonymous]

My niece is going into 6th grade and my SIL just initiated a discussion with me about college costs (I've got one in college and one just graduated). I was glad to see she and my brother are thinking about it early. I sent them "The Price You Pay for College."

[Anonymous]

The need to start saving early is real and essential, but can still fall short. We started saving early in elementary school and its still not enough. I think school counselors ought to begin these conversations in middle school and earlier about school costs. It's a disservice to push kids to take full rigor and encouraging families of attending highly competitive colleges when affordability should be considered equally. We make far below the income threshold for the ivy that accepted our kid, and received no offer of aid. Zero. I didn't think we'd get a lot but expected some aid. The glossy brochures saying households earning less than 150/200k go for free are slick marketing brochures. Although the fine print says assuming reasonable assets, the definition is vague and hurts families living in high cost of living areas where they may have home equity/modest savings and rewards people who dont save. I have a friend who rents and has little to no savings and her kid got full financial aid at northwestern (not merit). She travels and spends far more than we do. She jokes that being poor is great since she gets so many benefits. The system is broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you honestly just realize this op? Have you lived your whole life in the dmv bubble?

NP. Some of the posts on FB groups Class of 2026 are really sad. Especially now with new loan limits, high interest rates, layoffs.

People can’t qualify for loans. Or don’t want to take them understandably so, and they have to break the news to their kids. It’s tough out there.

And yes for many people it’s their first time in these fb college groups, so they’re seeing these conversations for the first time.

I guess I had the benefit of moving to the dmv when my kids were in middle school. I’ve lived in New England, the Pacific Northwest, the Midwest, and Texas. For most of the country it’s in state public, private and oos public only an option if there’s a significant scholarship. What I’m saying, but I guess op admitted she was in a bubble, is how do people here not know that the way college is approached here is unique.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, spending a little time at Paying for college 101 or Grown and Flown on FB is wild. So many lack any basic financial acumen, not to mention basic life skills in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The need to start saving early is real and essential, but can still fall short. We started saving early in elementary school and its still not enough. I think school counselors ought to begin these conversations in middle school and earlier about school costs. It's a disservice to push kids to take full rigor and encouraging families of attending highly competitive colleges when affordability should be considered equally. We make far below the income threshold for the ivy that accepted our kid, and received no offer of aid. Zero. I didn't think we'd get a lot but expected some aid. The glossy brochures saying households earning less than 150/200k go for free are slick marketing brochures. Although the fine print says assuming reasonable assets, the definition is vague and hurts families living in high cost of living areas where they may have home equity/modest savings and rewards people who dont save. I have a friend who rents and has little to no savings and her kid got full financial aid at northwestern (not merit). She travels and spends far more than we do. She jokes that being poor is great since she gets so many benefits. The system is broken.

System is broken, agreed. Need to start saving at birth and do not do target date funds. If you do, you will not be aggressive enough. I am first Gen and my husband from an immigrant family that came over with no money, but we both have graduate degrees and went to T20 schools. Education of our kids we knew was a top priority and started saving when they were babies and now we have $1.5.mil plus and have too much is 529 saved. One wants med school and we have the money. I can't imagine telling them no to a T10 (one attending) but it makes me a bit ill that we made dual income.work while many families had a SAHM. How do those SAHM justify this today if their spouse doesn't make $2mil? Then complain? Sorry to you all but I dont get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The need to start saving early is real and essential, but can still fall short. We started saving early in elementary school and its still not enough. I think school counselors ought to begin these conversations in middle school and earlier about school costs. It's a disservice to push kids to take full rigor and encouraging families of attending highly competitive colleges when affordability should be considered equally. We make far below the income threshold for the ivy that accepted our kid, and received no offer of aid. Zero. I didn't think we'd get a lot but expected some aid. The glossy brochures saying households earning less than 150/200k go for free are slick marketing brochures. Although the fine print says assuming reasonable assets, the definition is vague and hurts families living in high cost of living areas where they may have home equity/modest savings and rewards people who dont save. I have a friend who rents and has little to no savings and her kid got full financial aid at northwestern (not merit). She travels and spends far more than we do. She jokes that being poor is great since she gets so many benefits. The system is broken.

No, you need high rigor otherwise your kid isn't getting into their state flagship, which is AFFORDABLE, and you will be stuck with a lower-ranked state school, or paying a higher out of state or private price.

UMD and UVA demand really high stats these days, so THE NON-RICH REALLY NEED TO PUSH THEIR KIDS TO DO WELL IN SCHOOL.