Why does he do this and what can I do about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t help with the kids and throws a tantrum that he’s waiting for them instead of them waiting for him?

Is he a child?

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I do think that giving an exit time is a good idea. So say you’re leaving at 11:45 and then when it’s time, you leave. He can hang out in his pajamas and throw a tantrum alone.

I get the feeling the kids are older or OP would have complained about him not helping with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is hilarious that you think he should not mind waiting, but you mind waiting. He took his turn. Now it is your turn.

Exactly. He asked you to be more considerate and you refused. Now you can wait

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is hilarious that you think he should not mind waiting, but you mind waiting. He took his turn. Now it is your turn.

Exactly. He asked you to be more considerate and you refused. Now you can wait

I'm not OP but if we all decide at 11am that we are leaving to get lunch and it takes him 10 minutes to get ready and everyone else 20 minutes to get ready. Why is it ok for him to WAIT 20 minutes AND THEN GET READY meaning it actually takes him 30 minutes now?

This is a petty move by a jerk. Everyone in the family should have the same goal: get ready and leave within a reasonable time frame. Yes some might be done more quickly. But if one person is just sitting there purposely making it take longer (in any camp!) than I'd have a conversation about how that's not cool.

[Anonymous]

OMG. How is this even a problem? Whoever gets ready first has the option to watch TV, scroll phone, or clean the kitchen.

OP, I think something else is really bothering him, which is making him do this petty thing. Figure out what is making him feel like you're doing something offensive, and then either don't do it or explain to him that you're not doing it TO him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is hilarious that you think he should not mind waiting, but you mind waiting. He took his turn. Now it is your turn.

Exactly. He asked you to be more considerate and you refused. Now you can wait

I'm not OP but if we all decide at 11am that we are leaving to get lunch and it takes him 10 minutes to get ready and everyone else 20 minutes to get ready. Why is it ok for him to WAIT 20 minutes AND THEN GET READY meaning it actually takes him 30 minutes now?

This is a petty move by a jerk. Everyone in the family should have the same goal: get ready and leave within a reasonable time frame. Yes some might be done more quickly. But if one person is just sitting there purposely making it take longer (in any camp!) than I'd have a conversation about how that's not cool.

This. He's deliberately being a jerk about this. No one else was making him wait on purpose, they just took longer to get ready. He's making everyone wait on purpose, intentionally, with no benefit to anyone. It's petty and pathetic.

[Anonymous]

He's decided to enact a new routine which prevents him from being resentful. He likely feels you're more invested in monitoring the children getting ready, so them/you being on time -- that's on you. True? If true, I think you're stuck with the new routine.

[Anonymous]

I hate it when people take forever to get ready and I'm supposed to just wait around while they do whatever the hell they are doing for so long. DH might be petty, but OP is being at best inconsiderate, at worst intentionally disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Selfishness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does he do this and what can I do about it?

Let’s say it’s a Saturday and the whole family is going to go out somewhere. It’s late morning and we say together, “Okay, let’s get dressed and ready to go.”

My DH used to get ready very quickly and then get annoyed because he was done first and had to “sit and wait” while the rest of us finished getting ready.

Lately he’s started doing something different. Instead of getting ready when everyone else does, he’ll stay in his pajamas and just lounge around while the rest of us get ready. Then the minute we’re all dressed and ready to leave, he’ll suddenly go get himself ready. So now *we’re* the ones sitting around waiting for him.

I pointed out that this makes no sense to me. He could just get ready earlier and, if he ends up waiting a few minutes, so what? At least then we could all leave right away when everyone else is done. Instead, he waits until the very end and guarantees that we’ll all be waiting on him.

When I asked him about it, I told him it seems pointless because someone is waiting either way, and his approach just delays us leaving. I admit I also told him that his way of “solving” the waiting problem seems kind of stupid because it just shifts the waiting from him to everyone else.

Why would someone do this? Is this some kind of fairness thing where he doesn’t want to be the one waiting? And more importantly, what’s a better way to talk to him about it so we can stop this cycle?

WTF was he sitting and waiting when he could have been helping move things?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry your husband doesn’t like you or your children.

But as sad as that sounds for you, it’s a pretty pathetic pathetic life for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he do this and what can I do about it?

Let’s say it’s a Saturday and the whole family is going to go out somewhere. It’s late morning and we say together, “Okay, let’s get dressed and ready to go.”

My DH used to get ready very quickly and then get annoyed because he was done first and had to “sit and wait” while the rest of us finished getting ready.

Lately he’s started doing something different. Instead of getting ready when everyone else does, he’ll stay in his pajamas and just lounge around while the rest of us get ready. Then the minute we’re all dressed and ready to leave, he’ll suddenly go get himself ready. So now *we’re* the ones sitting around waiting for him.

I pointed out that this makes no sense to me. He could just get ready earlier and, if he ends up waiting a few minutes, so what? At least then we could all leave right away when everyone else is done. Instead, he waits until the very end and guarantees that we’ll all be waiting on him.

When I asked him about it, I told him it seems pointless because someone is waiting either way, and his approach just delays us leaving. I admit I also told him that his way of “solving” the waiting problem seems kind of stupid because it just shifts the waiting from him to everyone else.

Why would someone do this? Is this some kind of fairness thing where he doesn’t want to be the one waiting? And more importantly, what’s a better way to talk to him about it so we can stop this cycle?

WTF was he sitting and waiting when he could have been helping move things?

What do you want to bet that OP and her kids are a mom and two girls who take whatever time they "need" with no regard for DH. And I'm female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider a different approach. " Kids and Dad, I am pulling out of the driveway at noon. Let's meet in the kitchen at 11:55. Please be ready to go."

This. You and your husband agree on a time to leave and everyone should be ready at that time.

[Anonymous]

Lol are you me? DH does this but doesn’t use the time to pack snacks, diaper bag, put sunblock on the kids, etc just acts annoyed we’re so slow.

[Anonymous]

If he can be ready in under 2 minutes I don't see the big deal. It makes more sense for the fast person to be comfortable rather than to have shoes and coat on sitting by the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're too bossy.

She’s doing everything. That’s different from being bossy. If he wants kids ready on his terms he needs to help.