17 year old daughter smashed car window

[Anonymous]

That is some serious violence. Having had a kid who was violent and caused damage here’s what I think.

Therapy was pretty useless and often made things worse.

Things can get a lot worse. Don’t let your guard down.

If she’s that volatile there is no way I’d give her car keys. We took keys from our kid for three years but it’s no picnic and makes a lot of work for the family. It’s just that you can’t let someone who’s unstable drive a car.

Be careful about taking the phone. It’s the way you can track them if they run away.

I wouldn’t be giving my kid a car or any money for a good long time.

Be careful about setting her up for failure when you tell her she has to pay. It’s a lot of money and if she gets her act together it might not be good to have this hanging over her head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did she use to smash the windows?

Pocket knife.

Is that possible?

[Anonymous]

My son has busted through a few walls in anger. Inside the house. It's horrible. I never did anything like that as a child (ever). It was so shocking to me.

He has ADHD and general anxiety disorder. Emotional dysregulation is a hallmark of ADHD. It took a lot of therapy, some different parenting tactics, and time/maturation. He's a lovely 19 year old young man right now. Light years different than just two years ago. Just trying to give you some hope. It's a crap ton of work, but you can help them regulate their huge emotions much better.

[Anonymous]

Troll or nah

[Anonymous]

Good consequences, but she needs anger management.

[Anonymous]

Would absolutely sell the car. If she wants a car she buys it and pays for it. She is beyond spoiled if she is deciding to destroy property. If she had paid for that car she would not have broken the window.

It is also time for a conversation, why is she so sure that she should not have to follow the family rules / expectations? Is it possible you have been too strict? Have a real back and forth and see if there is a better agreement you can come to and where she sets her punishment- when she doesn’t follow through as expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same teen who wouldn’t get out of the car for a school concert?

And has to be picked up and carried into church?

Someone should ask the moderator if all these crazy teen daughter threads is one bored troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or a school PTC?

Or is obsessed with panda eyeliner?

Or wants pink hair?

[Anonymous]

After she stole the credit cards and spent 2K on door dash?

[Anonymous]

sell the car

why does she feel so entitled to have a car? where the heck do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a criminal offense. It’s also violent. This needs to be addressed with a therapist. Required anger management training. No privileges whatsoever until damages repaid. She should be asked how she will make this up to you.

It’s not criminal if it’s her car. She can do what she wants to her own property.
She sounds awful. I’d take the car away completely. She’s not mature enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did she use to smash the windows?

Pocket knife.

What? Troll.

[Anonymous]

I mean.... I'm so sorry but how did it get to this point? That she thought this level of disrespect and violence would be tolerated? When does she graduate? Kind of feels like the ship has sailed here.

Agree with others regarding therapy. What if she does this to people who are less forgiving? She seems like the type who would try to beat criminal charges with an affluenza defense. Go to therapy and be prepared to take a lot of responsibility for the situation.

[Anonymous]

Why did you buy her a car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a criminal offense. It’s also violent. This needs to be addressed with a therapist. Required anger management training. No privileges whatsoever until damages repaid. She should be asked how she will make this up to you.

It’s not criminal if it’s her car. She can do what she wants to her own property.
She sounds awful. I’d take the car away completely. She’s not mature enough.

The parents probably own the car