Name calling you are willing to accept

[Anonymous]

Name calling I am willing to accept
"Baby"
"Babe"
"Darling"
"Honey"
"Sweet thang"

B.... or C...? Not a snowballs chance in hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back and forth in a fight. Frankly, I woul rather hear about it than have anger or resentment squashed down or come out in passive aggressive ways.

And words are just words. It’s the meaning behind them. I work on an inpatient psych unit, and I have been called a “housewife” with more vitriol than I have been called a “m—ther f—er who sucks your father’s c—-.”

Considering this is the relationship forum, I'm guessing OP meant these phrases used in a romantic partnership fight. Not a fight with your mentally ill patients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I'm really mad I call him shrimp dick

Probably good for your G spot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None? That sounds the healthiest obviously.

Names back and forth in a fight?

Being called a C*nT? And/or B*&cH?

Worse, which I won’t spell out and actually I’m not sure but maybe I’m not super imaginative .

Why are you with someone who abuses you? This is verbal abuse. You deserve better! You do NOT deserve to be spoken to like this. Please leave this person, they are not safe for you.

There are men who won't call you names. There are men who will love and respect you. Please take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None. I wouldn't even call my husband stupid, much less worse than that. Intelligent people don't resort to name calling when in an argument.

Not to parse words here, but.. is “don’t be so stupid!” name calling? I don’t think so. PP who said we are our own boundary on this is exactly right.

I mean, isn't it? On what occasion would you say that to your husband? I think calling someone stupid is rude and unproductive. Does it even describe the behavior accurately or clearly explain how you feel about what he did? To me, it doesn't. So I prefer to use words that make sense and further discussion. If my husband left a bag of trash on the bag porch, for example, and the dogs got into it when they went outside, I suppose I could say "don't be so stupid!" but what purpose does that serve? Can you give me an example where that works, and by works I mean helps the person who did the thing to understand what they did and how you felt about it?

[Anonymous]

I actually don't care. What I care about is gaslighting such as saying I have "poor communication skills" or "are not a good listener" when imo he is too bored or inattentive to pay attention when I am explaining things about stuff like medical insurance or I interrupt him to say his premise is incorrect and try to get us on a correct track. I guess I am supposed to let him go on and on for 5 minutes thinking a full change applies to a deductible instead of just an allowed amount but really...in our insurance only the allowed amount does. Which is why we have to pay a balance!

[Anonymous]

None. You can have a fight without calling names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None. I wouldn't even call my husband stupid, much less worse than that. Intelligent people don't resort to name calling when in an argument.

Not to parse words here, but.. is “don’t be so stupid!” name calling? I don’t think so. PP who said we are our own boundary on this is exactly right.

I mean, isn't it? On what occasion would you say that to your husband? I think calling someone stupid is rude and unproductive. Does it even describe the behavior accurately or clearly explain how you feel about what he did? To me, it doesn't. So I prefer to use words that make sense and further discussion. If my husband left a bag of trash on the bag porch, for example, and the dogs got into it when they went outside, I suppose I could say "don't be so stupid!" but what purpose does that serve? Can you give me an example where that works, and by works I mean helps the person who did the thing to understand what they did and how you felt about it?

PP again. I, personally, would never say "don't be stupid" to my husband or anyone. But, how is that different from "don't be ridiculous," which is often said, especially in the heat of an argument? The point is, for OP, I think everyone has the right to set their own boundaries on what is acceptable here.

I also believe that there is a difference in using these words as adjectives to describe behavior, as opposed to nouns to name call. "That was a jerk move" is different from "you're a jerk."

[Anonymous]

None of these. We're French and the worst insult we exchange is the equivalent of "jerk", and even then, it's very rare that we use it during an actual fight. Mostly it's used when we joke around, in which case it's just funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None. I wouldn't even call my husband stupid, much less worse than that. Intelligent people don't resort to name calling when in an argument.

Not to parse words here, but.. is “don’t be so stupid!” name calling? I don’t think so. PP who said we are our own boundary on this is exactly right.

I mean, isn't it? On what occasion would you say that to your husband? I think calling someone stupid is rude and unproductive. Does it even describe the behavior accurately or clearly explain how you feel about what he did? To me, it doesn't. So I prefer to use words that make sense and further discussion. If my husband left a bag of trash on the bag porch, for example, and the dogs got into it when they went outside, I suppose I could say "don't be so stupid!" but what purpose does that serve? Can you give me an example where that works, and by works I mean helps the person who did the thing to understand what they did and how you felt about it?

Different poster. I can think of a scenario. Let’s say that DH and I have a child with SN that got into a school that serves kids with his disability and will probably be our child’s best shot at transitioning into a traditional classroom at some point instead of being in a hybrid classroom/ homeschool situation.

Despite the fact that we will actually have MORE money coming in because DS going to school means that I can work more, DH has sticker shock and doesn’t want to pay for the school and more or less shuts down and refuses to talk about it whenever I bring it up.

I mean, hypothetically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None. I wouldn't even call my husband stupid, much less worse than that. Intelligent people don't resort to name calling when in an argument.

Not to parse words here, but.. is “don’t be so stupid!” name calling? I don’t think so. PP who said we are our own boundary on this is exactly right.

I mean, isn't it? On what occasion would you say that to your husband? I think calling someone stupid is rude and unproductive. Does it even describe the behavior accurately or clearly explain how you feel about what he did? To me, it doesn't. So I prefer to use words that make sense and further discussion. If my husband left a bag of trash on the bag porch, for example, and the dogs got into it when they went outside, I suppose I could say "don't be so stupid!" but what purpose does that serve? Can you give me an example where that works, and by works I mean helps the person who did the thing to understand what they did and how you felt about it?

Different poster. I can think of a scenario. Let’s say that DH and I have a child with SN that got into a school that serves kids with his disability and will probably be our child’s best shot at transitioning into a traditional classroom at some point instead of being in a hybrid classroom/ homeschool situation.

Despite the fact that we will actually have MORE money coming in because DS going to school means that I can work more, DH has sticker shock and doesn’t want to pay for the school and more or less shuts down and refuses to talk about it whenever I bring it up.

I mean, hypothetically.

He's putting his wallet over his child? Definitely an AH move. Sorry you have to deal with that... hypothetically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None. I wouldn't even call my husband stupid, much less worse than that. Intelligent people don't resort to name calling when in an argument.

Not to parse words here, but.. is “don’t be so stupid!” name calling? I don’t think so. PP who said we are our own boundary on this is exactly right.

I mean, isn't it? On what occasion would you say that to your husband? I think calling someone stupid is rude and unproductive. Does it even describe the behavior accurately or clearly explain how you feel about what he did? To me, it doesn't. So I prefer to use words that make sense and further discussion. If my husband left a bag of trash on the bag porch, for example, and the dogs got into it when they went outside, I suppose I could say "don't be so stupid!" but what purpose does that serve? Can you give me an example where that works, and by works I mean helps the person who did the thing to understand what they did and how you felt about it?

Different poster. I can think of a scenario. Let’s say that DH and I have a child with SN that got into a school that serves kids with his disability and will probably be our child’s best shot at transitioning into a traditional classroom at some point instead of being in a hybrid classroom/ homeschool situation.

Despite the fact that we will actually have MORE money coming in because DS going to school means that I can work more, DH has sticker shock and doesn’t want to pay for the school and more or less shuts down and refuses to talk about it whenever I bring it up.

I mean, hypothetically.

PP here. First off, congratulations on your child's acceptance into that school!

I could come up with some choice adjectives for your husband, and you and I could bandy them about, I just don't see how calling him stupid would further the discussion (that I guess he's refusing to have anyway) on this topic. I'd probably get a third party involved, hopefully someone who can help your husband see how beneficial this will be for your child, and maybe even a different third party to discuss the financial piece of it.

Let me be clear - it's not that I've never thought to myself "my husband is being stupid/a jerk/an ass, etc.," I just don't say those things to him because I don't think it's productive to call names. I also think the name calling OP was talking about is completely unacceptable, although I can sympathize with you wanting to call your husband the male version of those words given the frustration with your current situation.

[Anonymous]

No name-calling. We don’t let the kids do it either.

Different strokes for different folks, of course. But OP is asking people what their tolerance is. Our tolerance is zero.

[Anonymous]

ZERO. NONE.

Have some self-respect. Stand up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Being called a C*nT? And/or B*&cH?

Come on, are these really *that* bad?