Weight Gain in Young Adult Son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband say nothing. Your rude a** other child already did.

Shame on him.

Disagree. I would approach it simply as a health thing. Let him know you love him no matter what and this is strictly about health. He needs a full work up including thyroid. It's much easier to reverse things at this age, than it is when he is older and that is a large weight gain. If it were merely the freshman 15, I'd be fine with letting him figure it out and just being supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally understand why your son’s weight would be a great concern for you - - especially since someone close to you died prematurely from obesity.

And obesity IS a huge health issue.
His risk of getting cancer or diabetes is high plus he is at a high risk for a multitude of health issues such as cardiovascular issues and high blood pressure too.

But your son is an adult now and he has directly told you + your husband that he does not want any interference.
He acknowledges that he is overweight and now it is up to him entirely how he will deal w/it.

Nothing you or your husband will say will make a difference at this point.
If anything - it may create unnecessary animosity.

All you can do at this stage is just hope that he makes healthy life choices.

Good luck!

He's an adult because he is over age 18, but this isn't a 28 year old. If approached in a sensitive and loving way, a parent can still help guilde a young person. You can make a difference because if you can get him to see a doctor that could make a big difference in his health in the long run. Plus, if your child were showing signs of slowly killing himself, even if he was 40 you would at least try to intervene respectfully.

[Anonymous]

If not family, who can? No one can

[Anonymous]

I would be really worried about this. I think you can offer to help him join a gym and get a therapist. I think that would be responsible parenting at this stage.

[Anonymous]

Holy Moly!!! Speak plainly with him and brainstorm solutions together. It has to be done as a family -

- Change in nutrition for everyone. Good and healthy eating habits.
- Therapist for everyone to deal with mental issues.
- Exercise under the care of a fitness coach who can help all of you reach your goal and prevent injuries
- Improve sleep cycle.

Someone who keeps all of you accountable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You caused him to have an eating issue.

You don't say something to your kid about their weight over and over again. You did this when he lived with you and you did it when he came home.

You think he didn't notice?

You suck as a parent.

He will figure it out shut up

This parent reached out in need of viable suggestions, opinions and support. How is this helpful-it isn’t. This must be the way you speak to your child.

[Anonymous]

My son OTOH is 6’2” and came home from college and lost 40 lbs.

We said hey we need you to talk to a doctor. He did, there really isn’t anything “wrong” with him. Good sensitivities, sure but really nothing a doctor could help with.

They said eat better and work out.

Easier said than done.

My son said stop talking about my weight. I know it’s an issue, I know I have to do something but I don’t know what and YOU DONT KNOW WHAT.

eat more/eat less is not as obviously as easy as it sounds.

Mentally letting him figure it out is the best course of action and offer healthy food. That’s it. No more talking/hand wringing,

[Anonymous]

OP are you under the impression that your son who clearly told you that he doesn't want to discuss it will be open to any more advice?

The more you insist on "helping" him, the more he will resist it and not listen to you.

He knows what you think. Time for him to decide what to do.

Also, tell your brat of a younger son to keep his nasty comments to himself.

[Anonymous]

I would offer to pay for GLPs and then stop. It’s expensive.

No comments about food, exercise, appearance of him or other people.

[Anonymous]

I agree with GLP-1s. Weight is made to be such a moral issue, comes with shaming about laziness, exercise...But the reality is that for a mix of factors, we're not equal when it comes to weight gain at all. Weight should be treated like any other medical issue, and for any other medical issue you'd immediately make calls to whatever specialist to get treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with GLP-1s. Weight is made to be such a moral issue, comes with shaming about laziness, exercise...But the reality is that for a mix of factors, we're not equal when it comes to weight gain at all. Weight should be treated like any other medical issue, and for any other medical issue you'd immediately make calls to whatever specialist to get treatment.

+1

Consider how society treated pain before opiates and anesthesia in the 1800s. Just take it, buckle up, have more willpower. People drank a lot of alcohol during to chronic pain.

Now we self-treat pain all the time with ibuprofen and stronger meds. Dieting is the same thing. We no longer need willpower to help manage weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with GLP-1s. Weight is made to be such a moral issue, comes with shaming about laziness, exercise...But the reality is that for a mix of factors, we're not equal when it comes to weight gain at all. Weight should be treated like any other medical issue, and for any other medical issue you'd immediately make calls to whatever specialist to get treatment.

+1

Consider how society treated pain before opiates and anesthesia in the 1800s. Just take it, buckle up, have more willpower. People drank a lot of alcohol during to chronic pain.

Now we self-treat pain all the time with ibuprofen and stronger meds. Dieting is the same thing. We no longer need willpower to help manage weight.

That is a really good way to put it. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I have had every eating disorder weight problem under the ☀️, nothing my parents ever said made a difference.

Actually, I only solved my weight issues when I just basically decided to separate myself from everyone in my life, and magically weight just started to come off on its own.

Everyone who’s heavier knows exactly how heavy they are, it’s more of a reflection on how they know you feel about them that stresses them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy Moly!!! Speak plainly with him and brainstorm solutions together. It has to be done as a family -

- Change in nutrition for everyone. Good and healthy eating habits.
- Therapist for everyone to deal with mental issues.
- Exercise under the care of a fitness coach who can help all of you reach your goal and prevent injuries
- Improve sleep cycle.

Someone who keeps all of you accountable.

How would this work with an adult son who lives elsewhere?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compulsive eating. Stress reducer. Loneliness reducer.

This.

He’s overeating and eat f the wrong empty calories everyday.

Is he adhd? Get in meds, it cuts the “food noise” (which is lack of self discipline in eating).