Weight Gain in Young Adult Son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You caused him to have an eating issue.

You don't say something to your kid about their weight over and over again. You did this when he lived with you and you did it when he came home.

You think he didn't notice?

You suck as a parent.

He will figure it out shut up

This parent reached out in need of viable suggestions, opinions and support. How is this helpful-it isn’t. This must be the way you speak to your child.

[Anonymous]

My son OTOH is 6’2” and came home from college and lost 40 lbs.

We said hey we need you to talk to a doctor. He did, there really isn’t anything “wrong” with him. Good sensitivities, sure but really nothing a doctor could help with.

They said eat better and work out.

Easier said than done.

My son said stop talking about my weight. I know it’s an issue, I know I have to do something but I don’t know what and YOU DONT KNOW WHAT.

eat more/eat less is not as obviously as easy as it sounds.

Mentally letting him figure it out is the best course of action and offer healthy food. That’s it. No more talking/hand wringing,

[Anonymous]

OP are you under the impression that your son who clearly told you that he doesn't want to discuss it will be open to any more advice?

The more you insist on "helping" him, the more he will resist it and not listen to you.

He knows what you think. Time for him to decide what to do.

Also, tell your brat of a younger son to keep his nasty comments to himself.

[Anonymous]

I would offer to pay for GLPs and then stop. It’s expensive.

No comments about food, exercise, appearance of him or other people.

[Anonymous]

I agree with GLP-1s. Weight is made to be such a moral issue, comes with shaming about laziness, exercise...But the reality is that for a mix of factors, we're not equal when it comes to weight gain at all. Weight should be treated like any other medical issue, and for any other medical issue you'd immediately make calls to whatever specialist to get treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with GLP-1s. Weight is made to be such a moral issue, comes with shaming about laziness, exercise...But the reality is that for a mix of factors, we're not equal when it comes to weight gain at all. Weight should be treated like any other medical issue, and for any other medical issue you'd immediately make calls to whatever specialist to get treatment.

+1

Consider how society treated pain before opiates and anesthesia in the 1800s. Just take it, buckle up, have more willpower. People drank a lot of alcohol during to chronic pain.

Now we self-treat pain all the time with ibuprofen and stronger meds. Dieting is the same thing. We no longer need willpower to help manage weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with GLP-1s. Weight is made to be such a moral issue, comes with shaming about laziness, exercise...But the reality is that for a mix of factors, we're not equal when it comes to weight gain at all. Weight should be treated like any other medical issue, and for any other medical issue you'd immediately make calls to whatever specialist to get treatment.

+1

Consider how society treated pain before opiates and anesthesia in the 1800s. Just take it, buckle up, have more willpower. People drank a lot of alcohol during to chronic pain.

Now we self-treat pain all the time with ibuprofen and stronger meds. Dieting is the same thing. We no longer need willpower to help manage weight.

That is a really good way to put it. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I have had every eating disorder weight problem under the ☀️, nothing my parents ever said made a difference.

Actually, I only solved my weight issues when I just basically decided to separate myself from everyone in my life, and magically weight just started to come off on its own.

Everyone who’s heavier knows exactly how heavy they are, it’s more of a reflection on how they know you feel about them that stresses them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy Moly!!! Speak plainly with him and brainstorm solutions together. It has to be done as a family -

- Change in nutrition for everyone. Good and healthy eating habits.
- Therapist for everyone to deal with mental issues.
- Exercise under the care of a fitness coach who can help all of you reach your goal and prevent injuries
- Improve sleep cycle.

Someone who keeps all of you accountable.

How would this work with an adult son who lives elsewhere?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compulsive eating. Stress reducer. Loneliness reducer.

This.

He’s overeating and eat f the wrong empty calories everyday.

Is he adhd? Get in meds, it cuts the “food noise” (which is lack of self discipline in eating).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with GLP-1s. Weight is made to be such a moral issue, comes with shaming about laziness, exercise...But the reality is that for a mix of factors, we're not equal when it comes to weight gain at all. Weight should be treated like any other medical issue, and for any other medical issue you'd immediately make calls to whatever specialist to get treatment.

Overeating and impulse eating IS a mental disorder. Treat the underlying issue, not just the anxiety and depression caused by it.

[Anonymous]

I agree with possible adhd. Don’t jump on the GLP1 train yet; that would require him to be in one for the rest of his life and he’s only 20. At this age he could possible develop the muscles to increase his metabolism as opposed to someone in their 40s+.

Talk to him one more time and tell him it’s the last time you’ll bring it up (and stick to that!). Explain that once the weight comes on it’s really hard to come off. Tell him that it doesn’t matter what he looks like to you, you’re just worried about his health. And then tell him that if he ever does want help, at any time, he can come to you guys, no shame, and you won’t bug him about it anymore.

Then tell his little sibling to cut it out, he’s mean.

Your son won’t change unless he feels safe. You need to provide that feeling of safety.