Worried for friends teens. She is too involved with them and has few boundaries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Worry about your own kids. She will live with the consequences of her in/actions .

You guys suck. OP is worried about her friend's TEENS. Maybe the parent will suffer the consequences of her actions, but the consequences involve the wellbeing of her CHILDREN. You guys are also such cowards who are always saying "Mind your own business", too afraid to say anything to anyone or maybe you just don't care enough to say anything to anyone. OP you said this person is a friend of yours, ask them what they're going to do if they turn out to be the gateway to their kids being stoners, or getting bad grades, or making really bad other decisions while wasted. Ask her why that's ok with her. You're right to worry for her and even more for her kids. None of this is your responsibility, but as a friend and as someone who cares about other children, you're right to be concerned and want to say something. So say something, kindly and not from a shaming place but from a "Hey, I'm really wondering about this" place. Good luck, hope you do it.

THANK YOU!!! The problem with society nowadays is that way too many people mind their own business and don't care about anyone else! A big part of what used to stop people from bad behavior is fear of what others will think of them. I am not saying to get involved with every single bit of your friends lives but for heaven's sake, I would definitely get involved when there are other kids on the line!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Example. Letting teen dd and her friends get wasted at dinner last weekend.

OMFG. Worry about your own damn kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Example. Letting teen dd and her friends get wasted at dinner last weekend.

OMFG. Worry about your own damn kid.

Most people can walk and chew gum at the same time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Worry about your own kids. She will live with the consequences of her in/actions .

You guys suck. OP is worried about her friend's TEENS. Maybe the parent will suffer the consequences of her actions, but the consequences involve the wellbeing of her CHILDREN. You guys are also such cowards who are always saying "Mind your own business", too afraid to say anything to anyone or maybe you just don't care enough to say anything to anyone. OP you said this person is a friend of yours, ask them what they're going to do if they turn out to be the gateway to their kids being stoners, or getting bad grades, or making really bad other decisions while wasted. Ask her why that's ok with her. You're right to worry for her and even more for her kids. None of this is your responsibility, but as a friend and as someone who cares about other children, you're right to be concerned and want to say something. So say something, kindly and not from a shaming place but from a "Hey, I'm really wondering about this" place. Good luck, hope you do it.

THANK YOU!!! The problem with society nowadays is that way too many people mind their own business and don't care about anyone else! A big part of what used to stop people from bad behavior is fear of what others will think of them. I am not saying to get involved with every single bit of your friends lives but for heaven's sake, I would definitely get involved when there are other kids on the line!

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Europe, teens can drink at 15.

What does that have to do with minors getting wasted under parent supervision?

You Americans are hopelessly helicopter-type people.

European teens drink at parties, at bars, and at family celebrations. In Europe, we do not infantilize the young people, until they suddenly turn 21.

Cool story, Maja.

[Anonymous]

I guess it takes all kinds to make a world, including alcoholics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess it takes all kinds to make a world, including alcoholics.

Ironically they are not alcoholics. It’s just part of their ‘cool’ parenting style. Lots of parties, kids are encouraged to be very social and invite friends to their parents adult parties, even when it means being around pot and alcohol at a young age. The kids rarely have activities that don’t involve the parents, and it is almost subtly discouraged. One dc started to like sports, and it was discouraged - the girls are mean, it’s too pricey, etc. It’s an odd dynamic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Do you mean, don't allow your kids to go over to their house? (Not OP.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Do you mean, don't allow your kids to go over to their house? (Not OP.)

Exactly. The parents will try to get weird information and most kids don’t have the nuance.


Ex: Mary I see your mom goes out several evenings

Kid:, Yes she goes to Chili’s

Oh how nice to meet a friend.

Mary: oh it’s not a friend it’s Billy


Truth:
Billy is Mary’s uncle and yes Mary’s mom meets up with her brother regularly and they went to Chili’s once.

Nosy mom has now started insinuating Mary’s mom is having an affair to anyone who will listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Op. My kids have self selected not to hang out with them already. But I’m still friends with the parents, especially the mom. I want to shake her sometimes. She means well, I know, but blurs the boundaries with her kids.

So given what you've observed and how you feel OP, what if anything have you said to your mom friend so far? Have you said ANYTHING about this? If not, why not?

[Anonymous]

Distance yourself. Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas and all that.

[Anonymous]

Were the other parents there? It is legal to give alcohol to your own kids in VA. If they hosted a party and gave alcohol to other kids then you can call the police if you really want to.

[Anonymous]

You don't allow your teen to go to their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Op. My kids have self selected not to hang out with them already. But I’m still friends with the parents, especially the mom. I want to shake her sometimes. She means well, I know, but blurs the boundaries with her kids.

So given what you've observed and how you feel OP, what if anything have you said to your mom friend so far? Have you said ANYTHING about this? If not, why not?

I'm wondering the same thing. OP what's making you feel so stuck about what to do, what have you already done that didn't work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Op. My kids have self selected not to hang out with them already. But I’m still friends with the parents, especially the mom. I want to shake her sometimes. She means well, I know, but blurs the boundaries with her kids.

So given what you've observed and how you feel OP, what if anything have you said to your mom friend so far? Have you said ANYTHING about this? If not, why not?

I'm wondering the same thing. OP what's making you feel so stuck about what to do, what have you already done that didn't work?

Op here. I’m not sure what to say. I have said things in passing in the past. Im not going to provide detail for obvious reasons