How to tell teen her essay topic sucks?

[Anonymous]

+1 and I am not asian. tell her!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is going to be mad and cry.

But it's really really bad. Her grades/SATs/rigor are tippity top. Her essay is terrible and doesn't say that much about her.

Do we just rip the bandaid and tell her? Any tips on phrasing or what to say?

OMG just tell her it sucks! Do you really tread that lightly around your kid??

Not OP, but telling your kid their essay sucks at this point is not a good look. I would definitely tread that lightly around my own kid.

You clearly aren't Asian! I tell my fat lazy son that he is fat and lazy every day. Be strong and tell your child to rewrite her stupid essay.

[Anonymous]

Better that you tell her, gently and kindly, than that she keeps working on something that doesn't have potential to really highlight her.
My DC found exercises like Brave and Interesting questions https://braveandinterestingquestions.com/
to be helpful to coming up with several essay topic ideas and from there outlined a few and then started drafting.

[Anonymous]

I thought my kid’s essay topic sucked and she got in everywhere she applied with merit, FWIW.

[Anonymous]

I told my kid her topic sucked. It did. Now she goes and finds “nicer” editors. The writing itself was very strong.

Basically she wrote about her mental state and enlightenment from when she was 10. As if all your growing up happens then. Has nothing else happened in the last 7 years?

I’ve read some other essays with bad topics, such as a traumatic event that was only tangentially related to author and led to no personal change or growth. That’s a sucky topic. I think author was recycling someone else’s essay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can't tell her the truth. She's your kid for crying out loud. Who else is going to tell her? "Larla, honey, this is just my honest opinion and I'm telling you because I want the best for you. I think you can come up with a much more compelling topic. I don't think this topic is highlighting who you are, your strengths, and what makes you, you. I think you should consider something like ___________________."

This! I kindly told my daughter early in her drafting of her first two essays that it was hard to see where they were going. The third essay she wrote was magic.

There are ways to give feedback that isn’t just criticism. You need to decide if it is meh or actively not good. If it is really not good I would consider it my job as a parent to let my kid know.

College is for four years. Crying is four minutes.

[Anonymous]

Did she ask? If not, hush.

If she did, how long since you read it? Are you leaving her to stew while you ask DCUM?

"The writing is really good, so I've been trying to figure out why it feels like it's missing something, and I think I'm worried that you're not giving a sense of you, specifically. Is that why X and Y told you to give more personal details?"

[Anonymous]

Use a bad news sandwich:

“You’ve worked really hard on your essay but I’m concerned the topic doesn’t fit the rest of your application. You should either add more vulnerability or pick a new topic (or whatever). It doesn’t highlight what makes you an awesome & unique candidate for their school.”

It is ultimately her journey so if she’s like “suck it, old lady”, I’d drop it.

[Anonymous]

If it’s Harry Potter, tell her not a good idea because it’s been done to death. If it’s something else, help her make it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the topic.

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.

That sounds like an age gap talking. Is it cheesy or just young? Does it make it believable that she wrote her own essay?

A lot of the recommended essays sound like a kid introspecting way deeper on a topic than they ever would in real life. They sprinkle in a lot of pretentious b.s. - advanced vocabulary, emotional words, etc. It looks artful and reads well but is pretty ridiculous when you boil it down. Somebody on DCUM had AI make a fake one for a fake girl that immigrated from Ukraine, was precocious, had language learning thoughts, then new language learning difficulties, then wanted to be a language major at HYP. It sounded and flowed really well but had some major logic flaws if you stopped to ponder it. And at the core it was cheesy though it didn't immediately hit that way. Real or AI, a lot sound cheesy. Do you know the state of play?

Maybe this topic isn't off track in context of the competition or in terms of complying with basic tropes of "excellent" essays.

Watch this video and think some more before you comment.

[Anonymous]

The most I would say as a parent is something like “what are you trying to convey about yourself here?” Otherwise, see if she can shop it around to more trusted adults outside the family. You are too emotionally attached to the process and your opinion might not be as widely shared as you presume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the topic.

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.

Okay, on this one I can help, my kid did a short answer essay that keyed off a favorite childhood book. His high school counselor said, "sweet, but trite," very common and they aren't looking to admit 4 year old you. She went on to list other topics/themes that have the same problems- 1) high school athletics interrupted by injury and 2) my grandma/grandpa is my hero (they also aren't looking to admit your grandpa). I wouldn't have thought of it that way but it made sense, they are trying to understand/compare 17 year old to see how they might grow and contribute in a field of other 17/18 YO's so topics highlight childhood or other people rather than current/future person are starting off at a big disadvantage. Sorry your school counselor didn't help you out on this one

[Anonymous]

I think most parents initially think their kids common app essay sucks. BUT, this is a different kind of writing assignment. Regardless of the topic, make sure there is self reflection, self awareness and that it shares something about your kid's character...in their own voice. True story- last year, my husband and I cringed at our kid's essay. They did everything we were warned against...mentioned overcoming a cliche disappointment, mentioned grandma, etc. But it was actually kind of sweet amd really did illustrate her kindness, openness, etc. We did coach kid and gave feedback - asked them to think about the WHY they did what they did or WHY they had specific thoughts. Essay improved at the margins. The essay was authentic and not overly polished. I think that was good. Kid was accepted ED to an ivy.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the idea sounds terrible and there’s a certain degree of cringe in all of them. Can you frame it as you read some good advice about working backwards and making sure the essay tells the AO exactly what they want to know about them and why they make a good addition? Any tweaks to make it more this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the topic.

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.

That sounds like an age gap talking. Is it cheesy or just young? Does it make it believable that she wrote her own essay?

A lot of the recommended essays sound like a kid introspecting way deeper on a topic than they ever would in real life. They sprinkle in a lot of pretentious b.s. - advanced vocabulary, emotional words, etc. It looks artful and reads well but is pretty ridiculous when you boil it down. Somebody on DCUM had AI make a fake one for a fake girl that immigrated from Ukraine, was precocious, had language learning thoughts, then new language learning difficulties, then wanted to be a language major at HYP. It sounded and flowed really well but had some major logic flaws if you stopped to ponder it. And at the core it was cheesy though it didn't immediately hit that way. Real or AI, a lot sound cheesy. Do you know the state of play?

Maybe this topic isn't off track in context of the competition or in terms of complying with basic tropes of "excellent" essays.

Watch this video and think some more before you comment.

A little bit of emotional heft/innocent candor works wonders. Remember your audience (largely liberal/female/humanities majors)....read as many of the NYT essays as you can. You will see why they worked.
My kid followed that model. The goal was emotional resonance in the small moments. Got into many T20s and lots of merit elsewhere, as a test-optional candidate. Several personalized notes about the essay.

[Anonymous]

My kids essay stunk! She decided to be independent and to write it and not get any input from us and it was what it was. That said her grades and test scores were good and she still got into a good university. So it all ended up OK.