Help me prepare…going from 3 to 4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think it was a big jump going from 3 to 4. I was really good at taking care of babies at that point!

I only have 3 but this is how my friends with 4+ have explained it.

Studies show going past 3 gets you back up the happiness and satisfaction curve as a parent. We parents with just 3 are the most stressed, apparently.

I’ve wondering about those studies. Is it just that the type of person that would consider having four or more kids the type of person that would enjoy having a big family so it’s what makes them happy? I love my two and when I’m around my family member that has five it’s just way too much for me but they seem happy!

Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, just something I’ve wondered. Congrats, OP! The car was the big difference for my family member will 4+ kids. Also, travel. The kids are all pretty young so right now they drive places and share one room but that might have to change soon.

I have 4, and I can see that. I think that part of it is just feeling competent. With your first, you feel like you have no idea what you are doing, then with your second you know a little more. By the time you get to your fourth, you feel like you are really good at taking care of babies and toddlers. Older parents stop telling you what to do and new parents start coming to you with questions. That feels good.

I’m talking about caregiving for babies/little kids. Older kids have different and varying needs. I’m not even sure that it’s possible to be a competent parent of a teenager. It’s more of a relationship, like being a good husband/wife or a good son/daughter to your own parents. There are lots of ways to be really bad at it, but I don’t know that anyone is consistently really great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! LOL

No sympathy for anyone for more than 2 kids. Unless your second pregnancy resulted in multiples.

Exactly. These people who think 4+ kids are cute disgust me.

[Anonymous]

Also you probably should have figured this out before you decided to get pregnant, and don't even bother with it was a surprise crap you know damn well how babies are made.

Don't neglect your older kids or turn them into mini babysitters or parents because you like the attention of being pregnant, baby snuggles, can't figure out birth control/ self control and have visions of everyone being besties forever.

Do your best to give each kid individual attention . You'll still fail at this and 1 or 2 will be emotionally neglected but you should at least try.
You better have figured out how you're going to finance college for all 4 because your kids should not have to go into lifelong debt at 18 because you and your husband lacked self control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! LOL

No sympathy for anyone for more than 2 kids. Unless your second pregnancy resulted in multiples.

Exactly. These people who think 4+ kids are cute disgust me.

Yep.
Babies are disgusting. I also like to trample flowers and kick puppies, Its all Gross. Enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also you probably should have figured this out before you decided to get pregnant, and don't even bother with it was a surprise crap you know damn well how babies are made.

Don't neglect your older kids or turn them into mini babysitters or parents because you like the attention of being pregnant, baby snuggles, can't figure out birth control/ self control and have visions of everyone being besties forever.

Do your best to give each kid individual attention . You'll still fail at this and 1 or 2 will be emotionally neglected but you should at least try.
You better have figured out how you're going to finance college for all 4 because your kids should not have to go into lifelong debt at 18 because you and your husband lacked self control.

This attitude is disgusting. It is pretty normal before every birth to start digging more into the logistics about how things are going to work. No one judges first or second time moms for this. You just don’t believe large families are okay.

The tyranny of the two kid family concept on here is gross. Great if it works for you but it is not the only way to do families. Also a certain percentage of these kids are (like me) inevitably going to grow up wishing they had more siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also you probably should have figured this out before you decided to get pregnant, and don't even bother with it was a surprise crap you know damn well how babies are made.

Don't neglect your older kids or turn them into mini babysitters or parents because you like the attention of being pregnant, baby snuggles, can't figure out birth control/ self control and have visions of everyone being besties forever.

Do your best to give each kid individual attention . You'll still fail at this and 1 or 2 will be emotionally neglected but you should at least try.
You better have figured out how you're going to finance college for all 4 because your kids should not have to go into lifelong debt at 18 because you and your husband lacked self control.

Why is it that the people who should spend the least time with their kids are always ranting about how others need to give their kids more attention?

I’ve read two paragraphs from you, and I can tell that your parents didn’t do a great job and you didn’t go to therapy. No one is receiving any kind of emotional nourishment be being around you, pp, and you know it. Take the plank out of your own eye, and get some help so that you can be emotionally available for your own kids, before you point out the splinter in OP’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Baby time! We’re having a fourth: kids will be 11, 9, and 3 (due date is his birthday!). DH and I both WFH FT. Other than buying a bigger house, which we were already doing, what else do we need to do/know/prepare for? It feels like we’re becoming an actually big family which is a little intimidating…or is it just kind of more of the same chaos (and joy)?

It's a bit late to be thinking about this now, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby time! We’re having a fourth: kids will be 11, 9, and 3 (due date is his birthday!). DH and I both WFH FT. Other than buying a bigger house, which we were already doing, what else do we need to do/know/prepare for? It feels like we’re becoming an actually big family which is a little intimidating…or is it just kind of more of the same chaos (and joy)?

It's a bit late to be thinking about this now, isn't it?

No

[Anonymous]

I had #4 in March and the real world reaction is so lovely. The number of people who say either “I wish I had 4” or “I’m one of 4, it was great” is really surprising in the best way. Congrats, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also you probably should have figured this out before you decided to get pregnant, and don't even bother with it was a surprise crap you know damn well how babies are made.

Don't neglect your older kids or turn them into mini babysitters or parents because you like the attention of being pregnant, baby snuggles, can't figure out birth control/ self control and have visions of everyone being besties forever.

Do your best to give each kid individual attention . You'll still fail at this and 1 or 2 will be emotionally neglected but you should at least try.
You better have figured out how you're going to finance college for all 4 because your kids should not have to go into lifelong debt at 18 because you and your husband lacked self control.

Why is it that the people who should spend the least time with their kids are always ranting about how others need to give their kids more attention?

I’ve read two paragraphs from you, and I can tell that your parents didn’t do a great job and you didn’t go to therapy. No one is receiving any kind of emotional nourishment be being around you, pp, and you know it. Take the plank out of your own eye, and get some help so that you can be emotionally available for your own kids, before you point out the splinter in OP’s.

You aren't helping OP by pretending 4 kids is great. But you're probabya religious breeder and anti choice person given your pathetic quoting of scripture. No one needs more than 2 kids and definitely not $+ it nevergoes well for all 4 kids. But people like yourself and OP are too selfish to see it and rather live in lala land

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! LOL

No sympathy for anyone for more than 2 kids. Unless your second pregnancy resulted in multiples.

Exactly. These people who think 4+ kids are cute disgust me.

Yep.
Babies are disgusting. I also like to trample flowers and kick puppies, Its all Gross. Enough.

Interesting that you chose the word babies. Babies don't stay babies but breeders don't think of that. They just think of little babies that are cute and don't really challenge them like a child and ten does. Babies that everyone coos over and gets attention for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also you probably should have figured this out before you decided to get pregnant, and don't even bother with it was a surprise crap you know damn well how babies are made.

Don't neglect your older kids or turn them into mini babysitters or parents because you like the attention of being pregnant, baby snuggles, can't figure out birth control/ self control and have visions of everyone being besties forever.

Do your best to give each kid individual attention . You'll still fail at this and 1 or 2 will be emotionally neglected but you should at least try.
You better have figured out how you're going to finance college for all 4 because your kids should not have to go into lifelong debt at 18 because you and your husband lacked self control.

This attitude is disgusting. It is pretty normal before every birth to start digging more into the logistics about how things are going to work. No one judges first or second time moms for this. You just don’t believe large families are okay.

The tyranny of the two kid family concept on here is gross. Great if it works for you but it is not the only way to do families. Also a certain percentage of these kids are (like me) inevitably going to grow up wishing they had more siblings.

No I what's disgusting is just having another kid just because and then once you're pregnant thinking oh how the F are we going to do this. That's wht's disgusting. But once again Breeders don't think that way. All they think about is sex, and tiny clothes an all the attention they are going to get from a new baby. And people staring at them for their big family Attention it's all it's about unfortunately those 4 kids never get enough attention. Ever. But you ca keep lying to yourself and OP keep insisting that Habing all these kids is great and there's o negative consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a nanny and a housekeeper/cleaner, if you don’t already have one. I honestly don’t know how people have more than 3+ kids with both parents working full time, without either a lot of paid or extended family help

Okay, thanks! We manage because I have great time management and executive functioning skills, and am very organized. We have a weekly housecleaner. With the prospect of two daycare bills on the horizon we may just get a nanny.

You also did a good age gap - you never had 3 little ones at the same time. But if you can afford a nanny why not?

[Anonymous]

Enjoy! It’ll be great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also you probably should have figured this out before you decided to get pregnant, and don't even bother with it was a surprise crap you know damn well how babies are made.

Don't neglect your older kids or turn them into mini babysitters or parents because you like the attention of being pregnant, baby snuggles, can't figure out birth control/ self control and have visions of everyone being besties forever.

Do your best to give each kid individual attention . You'll still fail at this and 1 or 2 will be emotionally neglected but you should at least try.
You better have figured out how you're going to finance college for all 4 because your kids should not have to go into lifelong debt at 18 because you and your husband lacked self control.

This attitude is disgusting. It is pretty normal before every birth to start digging more into the logistics about how things are going to work. No one judges first or second time moms for this. You just don’t believe large families are okay.

The tyranny of the two kid family concept on here is gross. Great if it works for you but it is not the only way to do families. Also a certain percentage of these kids are (like me) inevitably going to grow up wishing they had more siblings.

No I what's disgusting is just having another kid just because and then once you're pregnant thinking oh how the F are we going to do this. That's wht's disgusting. But once again Breeders don't think that way. All they think about is sex, and tiny clothes an all the attention they are going to get from a new baby. And people staring at them for their big family Attention it's all it's about unfortunately those 4 kids never get enough attention. Ever. But you ca keep lying to yourself and OP keep insisting that Habing all these kids is great and there's o negative consequences.

You are grossly misrepresenting OP’s original post and question because you don’t like large families.