Help me prepare…going from 3 to 4

[Anonymous]

Baby time! We’re having a fourth: kids will be 11, 9, and 3 (due date is his birthday!). DH and I both WFH FT. Other than buying a bigger house, which we were already doing, what else do we need to do/know/prepare for? It feels like we’re becoming an actually big family which is a little intimidating…or is it just kind of more of the same chaos (and joy)?

[Anonymous]

Enjoy! Our 5th is on the way. I assume you've got the car thing sorted. Going from capacity for 3 kids to capacity for 4 is often a big jump in car.

[Anonymous]

You need a nanny and a housekeeper/cleaner, if you don’t already have one. I honestly don’t know how people have more than 3+ kids with both parents working full time, without either a lot of paid or extended family help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a nanny and a housekeeper/cleaner, if you don’t already have one. I honestly don’t know how people have more than 3+ kids with both parents working full time, without either a lot of paid or extended family help

Okay, thanks! We manage because I have great time management and executive functioning skills, and am very organized. We have a weekly housecleaner. With the prospect of two daycare bills on the horizon we may just get a nanny.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t think it was a big jump going from 3 to 4. I was really good at taking care of babies at that point!

[Anonymous]

Ha ha! LOL

No sympathy for anyone for more than 2 kids. Unless your second pregnancy resulted in multiples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think it was a big jump going from 3 to 4. I was really good at taking care of babies at that point!

I only have 3 but this is how my friends with 4+ have explained it.

Studies show going past 3 gets you back up the happiness and satisfaction curve as a parent. We parents with just 3 are the most stressed, apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! LOL

No sympathy for anyone for more than 2 kids. Unless your second pregnancy resulted in multiples.

What is this supposed to mean? I’m not looking for pity (?), just advice.

[Anonymous]

Give a big raise to your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give a big raise to your nanny.

I don’t have a nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think it was a big jump going from 3 to 4. I was really good at taking care of babies at that point!

I only have 3 but this is how my friends with 4+ have explained it.

Studies show going past 3 gets you back up the happiness and satisfaction curve as a parent. We parents with just 3 are the most stressed, apparently.

I’ve wondering about those studies. Is it just that the type of person that would consider having four or more kids the type of person that would enjoy having a big family so it’s what makes them happy? I love my two and when I’m around my family member that has five it’s just way too much for me but they seem happy!

Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, just something I’ve wondered. Congrats, OP! The car was the big difference for my family member will 4+ kids. Also, travel. The kids are all pretty young so right now they drive places and share one room but that might have to change soon.

[Anonymous]

That’s a big age gap between 1 and 4. I think the hardest part is going to ever getting your family all in sync in family vacations and activities in general. The baby will just be dragged everywhere or your family will be divided constantly between big kids and little kids.

[Anonymous]

Save for college so you can afford to pay for everyone, and not have to chase merit relentlessly. Any version of money that comes will be icing in the cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think it was a big jump going from 3 to 4. I was really good at taking care of babies at that point!

I only have 3 but this is how my friends with 4+ have explained it.

Studies show going past 3 gets you back up the happiness and satisfaction curve as a parent. We parents with just 3 are the most stressed, apparently.

"Studies show..." whatever their authors want them to show.

Replication crisis: https://www.ipr.northwestern.edu/news/2024/an-existential-crisis-for-science.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! LOL

No sympathy for anyone for more than 2 kids. Unless your second pregnancy resulted in multiples.

What is this supposed to mean? I’m not looking for pity (?), just advice.

Some people just troll these boards looking to criticize parents of 3+. Don’t engage.


Separately, I have 3 and we’re done for various reasons but part of me would love a fourth — congrats! My third was due on her brother’s third birthday as well. Odds are they’ll get their separate birthdays (mine did), but it sure is busy!