Overly Invested Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At u10 I had a group of parents with one ringleader (on our team) that would video my kid because she was the starter and they'd meet with their kids 2x a week to review video + define a plan so one of their kids could start.

It didn't work. The ringleaders kid club hopped to 3-4 different clubs and the rest of the idiots kids have quit.

Holy crap. That is truly looney tunes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Calling other players is absurd. If a parent called my kid I would not take it well and they wouldn't be doing that any longer.

Watching practices is different. I enjoy watching my kid play and he often wants my opinion on things. There could even be a situation where the player wants the practices filmed. So if the parent is chill or helpful, then there is no problem watching practices. If the parent is mental and controlling...problem. Stop grouping people together and making rules on general behavior.

Helicopter Parents always try to justify smothering their kids independence growth by saying the kid loves being smothered and micromanaged by them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Calling other players is absurd. If a parent called my kid I would not take it well and they wouldn't be doing that any longer.

Watching practices is different. I enjoy watching my kid play and he often wants my opinion on things. There could even be a situation where the player wants the practices filmed. So if the parent is chill or helpful, then there is no problem watching practices. If the parent is mental and controlling...problem. Stop grouping people together and making rules on general behavior.

Helicopter Parents always try to justify smothering their kids independence growth by saying the kid loves being smothered and micromanaged by them

The post seems to be describing that the player is the one wanting and asking for feedback, not the parents. I don’t see anything wrong with that, especially if parents have experience (eg, as a former player or coach) and many top players in this area do have such a parent(s).

DS is in MLSNext and I think the parents of our best players are pretty chill and level headed and supportive about their players’ soccer development and future, whatever they may be. They are also supportive of other players besides their kids. Maybe we’ve just lucked out.

[Anonymous]

Parent involvement can be pretty bad sometimes...

We have dealt with a group of Dads on my DDs team who have their own chat group who message back and forth constantly about positions, playing time, strategy, etc.

I am not part of it and really happy about it.

One Dad in particular is pretty tough and is constantly joysticking his DD. Make a run, make a pass, take the shot, etc. He said something to my DD about positioning that got caught on the Veo that resulted in the coach sending out a note about how that was counter to his instructions and to knock it off.

That same group rallied their DDs to go to the coach and try to get their formation changed. That led to a meeting with the club techincal director that basically told all of us to shut up.

Ahh, the joys of youth spots. Only 2 more years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is on a MLSNext team and there are parents who watch practices. I don’t watch except occasionally when I get back early. But if I had time and weren’t busy working some more or running errands during practices, I would watch more. The parents are chill and don’t audibly say stuff to their kids. But mostly I enjoy watching my kid and his team play because they’re so good and focused and can’t we just appreciate that?

I mostly stay through all of my kid's practice. We are a soccer family and I have 3-5 that all play depending on when asked over the past 5 years. We drive 40 min to a bit over an hour depending on what field they are training on. I work inside all day and enjoy being outside in the evenings no matter the weather (rather than sitting in my car). My kids also seem to enjoy me being around (even my older ones) and notice when I am not. I don't engage with them at all nor do any of the other parents that are there. I see some of the same parents there, we talk and I have become friends with many of them. Truth be told, I enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is on a MLSNext team and there are parents who watch practices. I don’t watch except occasionally when I get back early. But if I had time and weren’t busy working some more or running errands during practices, I would watch more. The parents are chill and don’t audibly say stuff to their kids. But mostly I enjoy watching my kid and his team play because they’re so good and focused and can’t we just appreciate that?

I mostly stay through all of my kid's practice. We are a soccer family and I have 3-5 that all play depending on when asked over the past 5 years. We drive 40 min to a bit over an hour depending on what field they are training on. I work inside all day and enjoy being outside in the evenings no matter the weather (rather than sitting in my car). My kids also seem to enjoy me being around (even my older ones) and notice when I am not. I don't engage with them at all nor do any of the other parents that are there. I see some of the same parents there, we talk and I have become friends with many of them. Truth be told, I enjoy it.

So instead of their focus being 100% on the coach, team and being dialled in on what they should be doing, they're checking the sidelines for you

Case closed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is on a MLSNext team and there are parents who watch practices. I don’t watch except occasionally when I get back early. But if I had time and weren’t busy working some more or running errands during practices, I would watch more. The parents are chill and don’t audibly say stuff to their kids. But mostly I enjoy watching my kid and his team play because they’re so good and focused and can’t we just appreciate that?

I mostly stay through all of my kid's practice. We are a soccer family and I have 3-5 that all play depending on when asked over the past 5 years. We drive 40 min to a bit over an hour depending on what field they are training on. I work inside all day and enjoy being outside in the evenings no matter the weather (rather than sitting in my car). My kids also seem to enjoy me being around (even my older ones) and notice when I am not. I don't engage with them at all nor do any of the other parents that are there. I see some of the same parents there, we talk and I have become friends with many of them. Truth be told, I enjoy it.

So instead of their focus being 100% on the coach, team and being dialled in on what they should be doing, they're checking the sidelines for you

Case closed

Yikes, u must have a terrible relationship with your children if that is what you got from the PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is on a MLSNext team and there are parents who watch practices. I don’t watch except occasionally when I get back early. But if I had time and weren’t busy working some more or running errands during practices, I would watch more. The parents are chill and don’t audibly say stuff to their kids. But mostly I enjoy watching my kid and his team play because they’re so good and focused and can’t we just appreciate that?

I mostly stay through all of my kid's practice. We are a soccer family and I have 3-5 that all play depending on when asked over the past 5 years. We drive 40 min to a bit over an hour depending on what field they are training on. I work inside all day and enjoy being outside in the evenings no matter the weather (rather than sitting in my car). My kids also seem to enjoy me being around (even my older ones) and notice when I am not. I don't engage with them at all nor do any of the other parents that are there. I see some of the same parents there, we talk and I have become friends with many of them. Truth be told, I enjoy it.

So instead of their focus being 100% on the coach, team and being dialled in on what they should be doing, they're checking the sidelines for you

Case closed

Yikes, u must have a terrible relationship with your children if that is what you got from the PP.

True
Every parent not sitting 2 inches from the sidelines for their kids entire practice everyday have horrible relationships with their children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only red flag I see is the father calling boys. Are you sure this is really happening? If so, this should be stopped right away.

All the other stuff? Eh, welcome to soccer crazy town. His son will probably quit soon anyway due to the over reaching father.

I have a U15 girl. I drop her off at practice and go home. Then go back and pick her up after practice. Sometimes I get there to pick her up 30 minutes early if I'm running errands during practice and see the same 2 or 3 parents always there. I assume they're there the whole time? Just makes me shake my head, as one girl has parents (yes, mom and dad) as you describe.

At this age, I thought kids don't want to be seen with their parents? I know some other parents sit in their car in the parking lot after practice and just wait for their daughter to come to the car after practice. I'm looking forward to my daughter driving, so I don't have to drop off and pick up.

So, you are saying there is a light at the end of the tunnel?

Once you get to u13+ top teams the parents of kids that have been in the pipeline since u6 are pretty burned out + could care less what happens. Unless the team is winning which makes things exciting. But all the silliness tends to go away. Except if theres new parents on the team who's kid started late but is on the top team. They'll try to do the nonsense but it will fall on deaf ears.

I have a 2010 top team since 5yrs old player and a 2016 2nd team player. The 2nd team parents are 100% more fun to be around. But the older top team parents are getting to be less annoying now that the roster is more solidified.

Spot on. everyone please be gentle to the crazy Dads. It's like preschool and letting go for some Moms. This is a required step on the journey of kids growing up. The Dads are clinging to something that's disappearing quickly, baby-like DCs quickly becoming fully-functioning human beings who can't won't be controlled, and likely make better choices on the field and life than what crazy Dad thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is on a MLSNext team and there are parents who watch practices. I don’t watch except occasionally when I get back early. But if I had time and weren’t busy working some more or running errands during practices, I would watch more. The parents are chill and don’t audibly say stuff to their kids. But mostly I enjoy watching my kid and his team play because they’re so good and focused and can’t we just appreciate that?

I mostly stay through all of my kid's practice. We are a soccer family and I have 3-5 that all play depending on when asked over the past 5 years. We drive 40 min to a bit over an hour depending on what field they are training on. I work inside all day and enjoy being outside in the evenings no matter the weather (rather than sitting in my car). My kids also seem to enjoy me being around (even my older ones) and notice when I am not. I don't engage with them at all nor do any of the other parents that are there. I see some of the same parents there, we talk and I have become friends with many of them. Truth be told, I enjoy it.

So instead of their focus being 100% on the coach, team and being dialled in on what they should be doing, they're checking the sidelines for you

Case closed

Yikes, u must have a terrible relationship with your children if that is what you got from the PP.

True
Every parent not sitting 2 inches from the sidelines for their kids entire practice everyday have horrible relationships with their children

You seem really angry. I hope you and your kids are ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is on a MLSNext team and there are parents who watch practices. I don’t watch except occasionally when I get back early. But if I had time and weren’t busy working some more or running errands during practices, I would watch more. The parents are chill and don’t audibly say stuff to their kids. But mostly I enjoy watching my kid and his team play because they’re so good and focused and can’t we just appreciate that?

I mostly stay through all of my kid's practice. We are a soccer family and I have 3-5 that all play depending on when asked over the past 5 years. We drive 40 min to a bit over an hour depending on what field they are training on. I work inside all day and enjoy being outside in the evenings no matter the weather (rather than sitting in my car). My kids also seem to enjoy me being around (even my older ones) and notice when I am not. I don't engage with them at all nor do any of the other parents that are there. I see some of the same parents there, we talk and I have become friends with many of them. Truth be told, I enjoy it.

So instead of their focus being 100% on the coach, team and being dialled in on what they should be doing, they're checking the sidelines for you

Case closed

Yikes, u must have a terrible relationship with your children if that is what you got from the PP.

True
Every parent not sitting 2 inches from the sidelines for their kids entire practice everyday have horrible relationships with their children

I think that your responses and reactions automatically assume the worst of everyone and that is an issue that seeps into the rest of your life. Perhaps get off this forum and engage in less destructive stress release.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is on a MLSNext team and there are parents who watch practices. I don’t watch except occasionally when I get back early. But if I had time and weren’t busy working some more or running errands during practices, I would watch more. The parents are chill and don’t audibly say stuff to their kids. But mostly I enjoy watching my kid and his team play because they’re so good and focused and can’t we just appreciate that?

I mostly stay through all of my kid's practice. We are a soccer family and I have 3-5 that all play depending on when asked over the past 5 years. We drive 40 min to a bit over an hour depending on what field they are training on. I work inside all day and enjoy being outside in the evenings no matter the weather (rather than sitting in my car). My kids also seem to enjoy me being around (even my older ones) and notice when I am not. I don't engage with them at all nor do any of the other parents that are there. I see some of the same parents there, we talk and I have become friends with many of them. Truth be told, I enjoy it.

So instead of their focus being 100% on the coach, team and being dialled in on what they should be doing, they're checking the sidelines for you

Case closed

Not sure what the "case" is ... I am just stating what I / We do. I haven't seen any negative effects; my kiddos are pretty skilled at checking their shoulder ... I wish you the best of luck with you and yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is on a MLSNext team and there are parents who watch practices. I don’t watch except occasionally when I get back early. But if I had time and weren’t busy working some more or running errands during practices, I would watch more. The parents are chill and don’t audibly say stuff to their kids. But mostly I enjoy watching my kid and his team play because they’re so good and focused and can’t we just appreciate that?

I mostly stay through all of my kid's practice. We are a soccer family and I have 3-5 that all play depending on when asked over the past 5 years. We drive 40 min to a bit over an hour depending on what field they are training on. I work inside all day and enjoy being outside in the evenings no matter the weather (rather than sitting in my car). My kids also seem to enjoy me being around (even my older ones) and notice when I am not. I don't engage with them at all nor do any of the other parents that are there. I see some of the same parents there, we talk and I have become friends with many of them. Truth be told, I enjoy it.

So instead of their focus being 100% on the coach, team and being dialled in on what they should be doing, they're checking the sidelines for you

Case closed

Yikes, u must have a terrible relationship with your children if that is what you got from the PP.

True
Every parent not sitting 2 inches from the sidelines for their kids entire practice everyday have horrible relationships with their children

I think his response was based off of your tone... I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm never anywhere close to the sideline. Usually bit off in the distance, wandering between my kid's practices, talking to parents, checking and responding to emails for work, enjoying the outdoors (we have a beautiful complex). It's stress relieving for me... but everyone is different, I hope your way works for you.

[Anonymous]

I admittedly used to watch alot of the practices up until U13. I now regret doing so. Particularly after they enter a full pitch, the parents job is to get them there and offer moral support afterwards. Watching the last ten minutes of scrimmage is understandable. But let the kids have their own space. Go for a run. Do work in the car. Grocery shop. Call a friend. Your kid doesn't need you there hovering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admittedly used to watch alot of the practices up until U13. I now regret doing so. Particularly after they enter a full pitch, the parents job is to get them there and offer moral support afterwards. Watching the last ten minutes of scrimmage is understandable. But let the kids have their own space. Go for a run. Do work in the car. Grocery shop. Call a friend. Your kid doesn't need you there hovering.

My oldest is u15 I watch from a distance at games + pickup/drop-off that it. The team even does team travel now which makes out of state games so much easier.

I did watch all the futsal games and practices when she was younger. But that was just fun to watch.