Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

It's fine. If there is talk beforehand, about the party, don't forget to mention it. If there's an email or message, don't forget to mention it. It's being courteous. Some people may make wardrobe choices with it in mind. It's just a matter of fact. Not a big deal but a detail that gets mentioned if other details are being shared.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't know, but I just moved to an East Asian country for work and I am having the opposite problem. It is shoes-off-at-home everywhere; every family in our very expensive building has a big shoe rack in the hall outside their door to keep all of their shoes.

But I don't want people walking in their bare feet in my home, especially because it is hot outside and many people are wearing sandals with no socks. I don't want the sweat and oil from other people's feet on my wood floors or rugs. Over and over, I ask people to please keep their shoes ON as they enter my home, but they refuse and take them off anyway.

I'm ready to just buy a rack of cheap flipflops and tell each visitor to choose one at the door. Maybe you could do the same, OP? Get some cheap flipflops that are new, and people may be more comfortable doing that than going barefoot (I'm hoping my guests and contractors will feel comfortable enough to do this and stop walking on my floors and rugs in their nasty bare feet).

[Anonymous]

9:55 again. It's counter-productive to your relationships to present it as an Asian-thing. Lots of us don't wear shoes in the house. Drop that approach.

[Anonymous]

I am never offended about removing my shoes. We do not wear shoes in our house. Years ago we asked guests to remove shoes but I stopped post-COVID. Still 75% of our guests do it automatically either because they know from the past or they’re my kids’ friends who all take them off. When guests see other shoes by the door, they often offer and I respond “whatever is most comfortable for you”. It’s the rare person who keeps them on. When shoes have been worn, I wash the floor that evening or the next day. We don’t have carpet except one area rug so I try not to get too stressed. I’m OCD so it’s a challenge for me! I remind myself we have pets who traipse in and out of the house so they obviously bring in dirt too.

[Anonymous]

What next? Guests are asked not to use toilets? A host is supposed to make their guests feel at home and being asked to remove my shoes would make me turn around and leave.

Host in backyard and rent a Johnny on the Spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’ve done this a ton. And in my house everyone takes off their shoes and we are black.

Same. I am also Black. I offer complimentary flip flops or adidas socks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to be that anal, just don’t host a formal event.

If you host, things can be broken and items can be stained. Do your best to clean to and move on. Or will you only serve beige food and drink?

I don’t get why you can’t just clean the floors after. It’s such an annoying control freak thing.

Not anal. And we don’t literally track fecal matter into our home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine just make sure to let your guests know ahead of time. I showed up once at a grade-wide party and was asked to take off my shoes. I complied but was a bit embarrassed with the socks had worn.

+1. Put it prominently in the invitation and have some slippers or extra socks on hand for guests who forget.

I usually wear shoes with no socks, and I take my own shoes off in my house and go barefoot. Same with all my family, everyone is no-shoes. But if I went to the house of someone I didn't know and expected to take off my shoes I'd prefer to have worn socks that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to be that anal, just don’t host a formal event.

If you host, things can be broken and items can be stained. Do your best to clean to and move on. Or will you only serve beige food and drink?

I don’t get why you can’t just clean the floors after. It’s such an annoying control freak thing.

Would you be upset if it was a conservative religious family asking people to come with shoulders covered? Or a Muslim or Mormon family that didn't serve alcohol? People are allowed to have different traditions and customs even if you find it weird.

Announce it in the invitation. People who can't bear to be parted from their high heels can decline. Everyone else can bring socks (or, if they have orthotics issue, an appropriate pair of house shoes).

[Anonymous]

Announce your ocd rule clearly so normal people can decline. I assume no one is allowed to use your toilets while there. I promise that is much grosser than my shoes. Do not host people if you can't be a good host. How uncomfortable for your guests.

[Anonymous]

I would be so pleased if you didn't attend my party because we are a no-shoe household. It tells me everything I need to know about you as a person.

We keep guest slippers on hand in a separate basket.

[Anonymous]

We don’t wear shoes in our house, but I never ask guests to remove theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be so pleased if you didn't attend my party because we are a no-shoe household. It tells me everything I need to know about you as a person.

We keep guest slippers on hand in a separate basket.

Wow, why so triggered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put it on the invite so we know not to come

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Announce your ocd rule clearly so normal people can decline. I assume no one is allowed to use your toilets while there. I promise that is much grosser than my shoes. Do not host people if you can't be a good host. How uncomfortable for your guests.

I don't want to go in someone's bathroom without my shoes on.