When your kid really loves their safety

[Anonymous]

You lost me at 10th grade. Your child is going to change their mind before senior apps. I wouldn’t be stressing over college tours this early.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid & how picky you are about colleges.

The folks having heart attacks over your kid being in 10th grade seem to be missing the fact that kid will be in 11th grade a few months from now. Also missing that people are casting a wider net than before. Gone are the days when you could see most of the likelies with a quick drive through New England like Tony Soprano. It’s best to have the vast majority of the exploring done before senior year starts, because that senior year can be insane if your kid is playing sports, taking AP classes, writing application essays, working a job etc .

It’s good to see as many places as possible, even if you just walk around for 30 minutes & skip the official we-are-a-unique-community-of-scholars-educating-tomorrows-leaders tour.

[Anonymous]

My 11th grader has visited 21 schools (I can hear the vapors of outrage from DCUM as I type it) but he is still in love with the first school he ever visited which is a safety. He does not plan to apply to any reach schools but does plan to apply to multiple schools. He did find two other schools he really loves in addition to that first school but they are all safeties.

So your son might not change his mind but maybe ask him if he would like to visit schools with a similar vibe? In any case I would want my child to apply to more than one school.

[Anonymous]

I attended my safety with merit aid.
Every once in a blue moon, I wish I had the bragging rights of the better school I got into. But the majority of the time I think my choice was the right one.

[Anonymous]

I have a 10th grader, soon to be 11th grader. I feel like it is too soon to even start figuring out where to visit. Top student NOW, but 11th grade can be brutal on the GPA and DC hasn’t taken the SAT/ACT yet. OP, how do you even know what is a safety when GPA and test scores are still theoretical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10th grader, soon to be 11th grader. I feel like it is too soon to even start figuring out where to visit. Top student NOW, but 11th grade can be brutal on the GPA and DC hasn’t taken the SAT/ACT yet. OP, how do you even know what is a safety when GPA and test scores are still theoretical?

It's a school that accepts about 90% of applicants. His PSAT's are above the 75th, so it seems likely his SAT/ACT will be. I think his grades would have to fall a lot for it not to be a safety.

[Anonymous]

10th grade isn’t too early to tour schools and form an opinion. Sure it may change, but so what? He will be a junior in a couple months…this is the perfect time to start looking!

[Anonymous]

DS decided early on that his safety was his favorite school. Yes, we looked at others - and he applied to a few other places (and got it) - but kept coming back to his safety (which was instate so not a ton of merit aid.) In the end, he is enrolled for that safety for the fall.

Honestly, it made senior year a breeze. No panicking, stressing, etc. We toured a few schools junior year, he did the common app as soon as it opened and applied to 5 schools (including his first choice), got in to all of them, did a couple of more tours/visits 'just to be sure' and enrolled. He was really done by early winter.

No, it isn't prestigious, but it is where he could see himself...which is what really matters.

[Anonymous]

My DS is graduating from his safety today (UMD) with honors. He has a great job offer and loved the final 3 years of school (first year on-line was a little tough). He told his public-school (MCPS) guidance counselor in 11th grade, that UMD would be fine. There are bright students at every school.

[Anonymous]

Things will change as graduation time nears. My kid started out wanting to look at Midwest schools but now thinks they’re too far from home. He want to stay with 5-6 hours from DC.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I'm not concerned about prestige. I think the school is a great fit for him now. I just wonder what other people have done in this situation. Do I accept his announcement that he's done with the college search? Encourage him to look for more? The fact that it's a safety is relevant because it impacts how many other schools we need to find.

I also wonder if what he wants will change. This is a relatively small school, relatively close to home, that's got a lot of familiar things (e.g. a location that feels similar to where we live). I can see how it might feel safe and welcoming at 16, and then at 18 feel too much like high school. He's also really focused on a particular major, which is a strength for this school, and I wonder if this will change.

So, I asked to see if other people had experience with kids who seemed very sure at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10th grader, soon to be 11th grader. I feel like it is too soon to even start figuring out where to visit. Top student NOW, but 11th grade can be brutal on the GPA and DC hasn’t taken the SAT/ACT yet. OP, how do you even know what is a safety when GPA and test scores are still theoretical?

You’re not picking a school now, or even picking which ones to apply to. But by the time the test scores are known & GPA has gelled, it’s too late to do much exploring.

[Anonymous]

I will answer a couple of your questions:

Do I accept his announcement that he's done with the college search? Encourage him to look for more?

At his age, you don't accept his announcement. But you keep it light: "It's so awesome that you love INSERT NAME. Just to balance out your list, let's tack on one more safety and how about a reach?" Or, another day, "Hey, let's take a day trip to Baltimore and check out Loyola and UMBC. We could even walk around Hopkins if you're interested." Leave a couple of the balls in his court, but not all of them.


I also wonder if what he wants will change.

Probably! But not necessarily. The thing is, within the course of just a few more visits, he'll start to see that they really are all so different. It's great that he LOVES one already. But he might love another one just as much, and that is a good realization. He might change his mind about prospective majors, proximity to home, practically anything! So, just keep it light and don't act like it's set in stone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I'm not concerned about prestige. I think the school is a great fit for him now. I just wonder what other people have done in this situation. Do I accept his announcement that he's done with the college search? Encourage him to look for more? The fact that it's a safety is relevant because it impacts how many other schools we need to find.

I also wonder if what he wants will change. This is a relatively small school, relatively close to home, that's got a lot of familiar things (e.g. a location that feels similar to where we live). I can see how it might feel safe and welcoming at 16, and then at 18 feel too much like high school. He's also really focused on a particular major, which is a strength for this school, and I wonder if this will change.

So, I asked to see if other people had experience with kids who seemed very sure at this age.

I am the PP who's kid is enrolled in his safety for fall.

We initially looked at schools in 10th grade (as here are some things to think about big/small, near/far, urban/rural.) From that visit he deemed it his favorite. We did a few more visits his junior year based on his preferences (urban/suburban, big, near home) and then asked him to rank them. Once he got in his senior year, we asked him to go to Admitted Students Day for his first and second choice. He complied and still choose his original choice. We are very clear that no decision is final. If he ends up not liking this school/not a good fit, we will explore other options.

So your kid may change his mind and may not. I told my kid it was like buying my most recent car. I was 90% sure I wanted a Honda, but I needed to see for myself what the Toyota, Mazda, and Nissan were like so I test drove them all. And in the end, my instinct was right and I bought the Honda. But I am glad that I took a closer look at the other cars just to be sure before I made that big purchase.

[Anonymous]

My kid just finished her first year at a safety that was also one of the first schools she toured (common theme here -- the first couple visits can make a big impression!). We did encourage her to look at a lot of places and her list ended up being several schools that all looked a lot like that safety. She ended up visiting 4 times in total (early jr year open house, day-long visit in Fall senior year, short visit for a music audition, admitted students day) so she was really solid in it being #1.

FWIW she had a really rough junior year so it was nice that she already really loved a safety since a couple schools we thought would be likelies at the end of 10th turned into reaches by the end of 11th. In the end she was WL at one of those with an option to start in Spring but didn't pursue that because she decided she liked this safety more than the reach anyway.