When your kid really loves their safety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10th grader, soon to be 11th grader. I feel like it is too soon to even start figuring out where to visit. Top student NOW, but 11th grade can be brutal on the GPA and DC hasn’t taken the SAT/ACT yet. OP, how do you even know what is a safety when GPA and test scores are still theoretical?

It's a school that accepts about 90% of applicants. His PSAT's are above the 75th, so it seems likely his SAT/ACT will be. I think his grades would have to fall a lot for it not to be a safety.

[Anonymous]

10th grade isn’t too early to tour schools and form an opinion. Sure it may change, but so what? He will be a junior in a couple months…this is the perfect time to start looking!

[Anonymous]

DS decided early on that his safety was his favorite school. Yes, we looked at others - and he applied to a few other places (and got it) - but kept coming back to his safety (which was instate so not a ton of merit aid.) In the end, he is enrolled for that safety for the fall.

Honestly, it made senior year a breeze. No panicking, stressing, etc. We toured a few schools junior year, he did the common app as soon as it opened and applied to 5 schools (including his first choice), got in to all of them, did a couple of more tours/visits 'just to be sure' and enrolled. He was really done by early winter.

No, it isn't prestigious, but it is where he could see himself...which is what really matters.

[Anonymous]

My DS is graduating from his safety today (UMD) with honors. He has a great job offer and loved the final 3 years of school (first year on-line was a little tough). He told his public-school (MCPS) guidance counselor in 11th grade, that UMD would be fine. There are bright students at every school.

[Anonymous]

Things will change as graduation time nears. My kid started out wanting to look at Midwest schools but now thinks they’re too far from home. He want to stay with 5-6 hours from DC.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I'm not concerned about prestige. I think the school is a great fit for him now. I just wonder what other people have done in this situation. Do I accept his announcement that he's done with the college search? Encourage him to look for more? The fact that it's a safety is relevant because it impacts how many other schools we need to find.

I also wonder if what he wants will change. This is a relatively small school, relatively close to home, that's got a lot of familiar things (e.g. a location that feels similar to where we live). I can see how it might feel safe and welcoming at 16, and then at 18 feel too much like high school. He's also really focused on a particular major, which is a strength for this school, and I wonder if this will change.

So, I asked to see if other people had experience with kids who seemed very sure at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10th grader, soon to be 11th grader. I feel like it is too soon to even start figuring out where to visit. Top student NOW, but 11th grade can be brutal on the GPA and DC hasn’t taken the SAT/ACT yet. OP, how do you even know what is a safety when GPA and test scores are still theoretical?

You’re not picking a school now, or even picking which ones to apply to. But by the time the test scores are known & GPA has gelled, it’s too late to do much exploring.

[Anonymous]

I will answer a couple of your questions:

Do I accept his announcement that he's done with the college search? Encourage him to look for more?

At his age, you don't accept his announcement. But you keep it light: "It's so awesome that you love INSERT NAME. Just to balance out your list, let's tack on one more safety and how about a reach?" Or, another day, "Hey, let's take a day trip to Baltimore and check out Loyola and UMBC. We could even walk around Hopkins if you're interested." Leave a couple of the balls in his court, but not all of them.


I also wonder if what he wants will change.

Probably! But not necessarily. The thing is, within the course of just a few more visits, he'll start to see that they really are all so different. It's great that he LOVES one already. But he might love another one just as much, and that is a good realization. He might change his mind about prospective majors, proximity to home, practically anything! So, just keep it light and don't act like it's set in stone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I'm not concerned about prestige. I think the school is a great fit for him now. I just wonder what other people have done in this situation. Do I accept his announcement that he's done with the college search? Encourage him to look for more? The fact that it's a safety is relevant because it impacts how many other schools we need to find.

I also wonder if what he wants will change. This is a relatively small school, relatively close to home, that's got a lot of familiar things (e.g. a location that feels similar to where we live). I can see how it might feel safe and welcoming at 16, and then at 18 feel too much like high school. He's also really focused on a particular major, which is a strength for this school, and I wonder if this will change.

So, I asked to see if other people had experience with kids who seemed very sure at this age.

I am the PP who's kid is enrolled in his safety for fall.

We initially looked at schools in 10th grade (as here are some things to think about big/small, near/far, urban/rural.) From that visit he deemed it his favorite. We did a few more visits his junior year based on his preferences (urban/suburban, big, near home) and then asked him to rank them. Once he got in his senior year, we asked him to go to Admitted Students Day for his first and second choice. He complied and still choose his original choice. We are very clear that no decision is final. If he ends up not liking this school/not a good fit, we will explore other options.

So your kid may change his mind and may not. I told my kid it was like buying my most recent car. I was 90% sure I wanted a Honda, but I needed to see for myself what the Toyota, Mazda, and Nissan were like so I test drove them all. And in the end, my instinct was right and I bought the Honda. But I am glad that I took a closer look at the other cars just to be sure before I made that big purchase.

[Anonymous]

My kid just finished her first year at a safety that was also one of the first schools she toured (common theme here -- the first couple visits can make a big impression!). We did encourage her to look at a lot of places and her list ended up being several schools that all looked a lot like that safety. She ended up visiting 4 times in total (early jr year open house, day-long visit in Fall senior year, short visit for a music audition, admitted students day) so she was really solid in it being #1.

FWIW she had a really rough junior year so it was nice that she already really loved a safety since a couple schools we thought would be likelies at the end of 10th turned into reaches by the end of 11th. In the end she was WL at one of those with an option to start in Spring but didn't pursue that because she decided she liked this safety more than the reach anyway.

[Anonymous]

this is a good thing. you should rejoice! they may even provide merit aid.

if his favorite school has an EA option, ask him to apply early so he can find out quicker if he needs to apply elsewhere.

safeties aren't always safeties so he may need to add a few more. but there's nothing better than falling in love with a school within reach. you go to that school with a very positive mindset and more likely to have a great experience than if he thought of it only as a "safety". his essay will also sound authentically excited about why he is applying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is a good thing. you should rejoice! they may even provide merit aid.

if his favorite school has an EA option, ask him to apply early so he can find out quicker if he needs to apply elsewhere.

safeties aren't always safeties so he may need to add a few more. but there's nothing better than falling in love with a school within reach. you go to that school with a very positive mindset and more likely to have a great experience than if he thought of it only as a "safety". his essay will also sound authentically excited about why he is applying.

This is a VERY good point. I know a kid who is sort of a pain anyway who basically wasted his whole freshman year at Penn State thinking he should be somewhere "better." Not a good mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is graduating from his safety today (UMD) with honors. He has a great job offer and loved the final 3 years of school (first year on-line was a little tough). He told his public-school (MCPS) guidance counselor in 11th grade, that UMD would be fine. There are bright students at every school.

Just want to flag for parents of current high schoolers that many people would not advise thinking of UMD as a safety, for anyone, in this day and age. Life was different four years ago. (And many of us have stories of really accomplished students who were unceremoniously rejected from UMD in the last year or two.)

And I suppose this is also reason enough to remind students to make sure they don't get over-confident about what a safety is. Applying to several safeties is also smart.

[Anonymous]

This is a great place to start from.

[Anonymous]

DS feels this way about Pitt. We made him look at UMD (our in state), as well as schools with other types of campuses eg smaller campus in city (eg CMU, JHU, Case), SLAC (Haverford, Olin) etc. He still wants Pitt. So yes at this point I’m done.
Now just hoping for merit aid!