When your kid really loves their safety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is a good thing. you should rejoice! they may even provide merit aid.

if his favorite school has an EA option, ask him to apply early so he can find out quicker if he needs to apply elsewhere.

safeties aren't always safeties so he may need to add a few more. but there's nothing better than falling in love with a school within reach. you go to that school with a very positive mindset and more likely to have a great experience than if he thought of it only as a "safety". his essay will also sound authentically excited about why he is applying.

This. Falling in love with a school you have a great chance to get into, with a good program in your intended major, is a GREAT situation. Applying early and making clear it's his first choice (if it still is by fall of senior year) are good ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I followed the advice to start with convenient safeties, and so far my 10th grader has seen three schools, and fallen in love with one of them. We were going to tour some other schools, but now DS is saying he's done. He knows where he wants to go, anticipates he will get in, and so why look at more schools?

Obviously this could make our admissions process easy, and it puts him in a good place in terms of merit aid. But I worry that he might miss out on another school he would like better. Or that he might mature a bigger school when he's a little older.

Has anyone had a kid who fell in love with a school? Did it stick?

This is the kicker. You CANNOT know you are going to get it. I know of many kids rejected from schools that would be considered safeties on paper. You need to apply to a range no matter what. And be sure to SHOW INTEREST at every school - it matters - even more so if your stats are much higher than average attendee.

[Anonymous]

They should love every school on their list, regardless of selectivity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is a good thing. you should rejoice! they may even provide merit aid.

if his favorite school has an EA option, ask him to apply early so he can find out quicker if he needs to apply elsewhere.

safeties aren't always safeties so he may need to add a few more. but there's nothing better than falling in love with a school within reach. you go to that school with a very positive mindset and more likely to have a great experience than if he thought of it only as a "safety". his essay will also sound authentically excited about why he is applying.

This. Falling in love with a school you have a great chance to get into, with a good program in your intended major, is a GREAT situation. Applying early and making clear it's his first choice (if it still is by fall of senior year) are good ideas.

Agree completely!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I followed the advice to start with convenient safeties, and so far my 10th grader has seen three schools, and fallen in love with one of them. We were going to tour some other schools, but now DS is saying he's done. He knows where he wants to go, anticipates he will get in, and so why look at more schools?

Obviously this could make our admissions process easy, and it puts him in a good place in terms of merit aid. But I worry that he might miss out on another school he would like better. Or that he might mature a bigger school when he's a little older.

Has anyone had a kid who fell in love with a school? Did it stick?

Mine was in love with a non ivy T25, didn't get in there, got into two other T20 on full pay but went to another T25 on significant merit. Loved their time there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I followed the advice to start with convenient safeties, and so far my 10th grader has seen three schools, and fallen in love with one of them. We were going to tour some other schools, but now DS is saying he's done. He knows where he wants to go, anticipates he will get in, and so why look at more schools?

Obviously this could make our admissions process easy, and it puts him in a good place in terms of merit aid. But I worry that he might miss out on another school he would like better. Or that he might mature a bigger school when he's a little older.

Has anyone had a kid who fell in love with a school? Did it stick?

Mine was in love with a non ivy T25, didn't get in there, got into two other T20 on full pay but went to another T25 on significant merit. Loved their time there.

Why does the ranking matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS feels this way about Pitt. We made him look at UMD (our in state), as well as schools with other types of campuses eg smaller campus in city (eg CMU, JHU, Case), SLAC (Haverford, Olin) etc. He still wants Pitt. So yes at this point I’m done.
Now just hoping for merit aid!

I hope you have better luck than we did. 4.2/TO/NHS/9 AP/IB/DE classes/3y work experience/3y varsity sport (captain senior year) - he got into Pitt, but no merit. Sadly, though he LOVED the school, we couldn't afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10th grader, soon to be 11th grader. I feel like it is too soon to even start figuring out where to visit. Top student NOW, but 11th grade can be brutal on the GPA and DC hasn’t taken the SAT/ACT yet. OP, how do you even know what is a safety when GPA and test scores are still theoretical?

It's a school that accepts about 90% of applicants. His PSAT's are above the 75th, so it seems likely his SAT/ACT will be. I think his grades would have to fall a lot for it not to be a safety.

I don't know the school, but be weary of yield protection if his stats are much higher than the 75th. He needs to apply to other schools while still making it very clear to his favorite that it's his first choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I'm not concerned about prestige. I think the school is a great fit for him now. I just wonder what other people have done in this situation. Do I accept his announcement that he's done with the college search? Encourage him to look for more? The fact that it's a safety is relevant because it impacts how many other schools we need to find.

I also wonder if what he wants will change. This is a relatively small school, relatively close to home, that's got a lot of familiar things (e.g. a location that feels similar to where we live). I can see how it might feel safe and welcoming at 16, and then at 18 feel too much like high school. He's also really focused on a particular major, which is a strength for this school, and I wonder if this will change.

So, I asked to see if other people had experience with kids who seemed very sure at this age.

Do you think it’s smart to marry the first person who winks at you? Hell no!

The kid is still a kid, & probably doesn’t have a full appreciation of the options. I wouldn’t stop visiting colleges until you’ve seen a thorough variety of colleges. Big, small, urban rural, rah-rah, no rah-rah, cold, warm, Gothic, Georgian, Brutalist etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They should love every school on their list, regardless of selectivity.

Ideally, but I doubt that really happens. It's hard for kids to fall in love with a safety school when they've envisioned themselves at different schools as they've worked through their 6 AP classes a year. Loving a safety off the bat is great. Not applying to other schools is not.

[Anonymous]

Also, sometimes it is hard for kids to articulate what they like/don't like. We toured 10 schools (mostly local-ish.) What we realized was that he liked newer schools with newer architecture/buildings (think Mason vs U Del.) Every school that was older was "meh" and every school with the majority of buildings built after 1970 was "good" - he didn't see the correlation, but as adults we could see patterns. Once we figured out that key + he didn't want a rural setting + he didn't want to go far from home, we could really narrow the focus with him.

[Anonymous]

He’s telling you he wants to take a break from looking at schools. Which is reasonable, since he’s just a sophomore. So stop visiting for a while. Take a break until spring of junior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s telling you he wants to take a break from looking at schools. Which is reasonable, since he’s just a sophomore. So stop visiting for a while. Take a break until spring of junior year.

I don't see how people wait that long and still see a lot. I'm a single parent, and I work a job that gets busier at school breaks, so that doesn't help. Plus I have 2 kids who do sports which fills up weekends.

How many colleges do most people see?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s telling you he wants to take a break from looking at schools. Which is reasonable, since he’s just a sophomore. So stop visiting for a while. Take a break until spring of junior year.

I don't see how people wait that long and still see a lot. I'm a single parent, and I work a job that gets busier at school breaks, so that doesn't help. Plus I have 2 kids who do sports which fills up weekends.

How many colleges do most people see?

We saw 5 (all relatively local-ish - or within a couple hours drive.) DS applied to one other school that was 5ish hours away without touring first. He got in but they gave no merit aid (we couldn't afford sticker price) so we didn't end upgoing to see it. We did go to 2 of those 5 schools again once DS was closer to applying for a second look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s telling you he wants to take a break from looking at schools. Which is reasonable, since he’s just a sophomore. So stop visiting for a while. Take a break until spring of junior year.

I don't see how people wait that long and still see a lot. I'm a single parent, and I work a job that gets busier at school breaks, so that doesn't help. Plus I have 2 kids who do sports which fills up weekends.

How many colleges do most people see?

We saw 5 (all relatively local-ish - or within a couple hours drive.) DS applied to one other school that was 5ish hours away without touring first. He got in but they gave no merit aid (we couldn't afford sticker price) so we didn't end upgoing to see it. We did go to 2 of those 5 schools again once DS was closer to applying for a second look.

I’m an upthread poster who made our child add one more school…which became their love….and this describes us too. Mostly local, a few on a drive, and one applied without a visit (which we would’ve done after being admitted, which happened, but it wasn’t one of the top two in DCs mind).

In contrast, a good friend took their DC to 10 different schools on several separate trips all over the Southeast (often combined with a vacation or pre planned trip to extended family). DC got into all 8 applied to….but, like ours, only the top two really had a chance with DC.

In both our cases, while “money” set the top limits (and therefore limited what the “real” options were), final decisions were NOT based on money as the top two choices were within a few thousand dollars/year of each other.