When your kid really loves their safety

[Anonymous]

I followed the advice to start with convenient safeties, and so far my 10th grader has seen three schools, and fallen in love with one of them. We were going to tour some other schools, but now DS is saying he's done. He knows where he wants to go, anticipates he will get in, and so why look at more schools?

Obviously this could make our admissions process easy, and it puts him in a good place in terms of merit aid. But I worry that he might miss out on another school he would like better. Or that he might mature a bigger school when he's a little older.

Has anyone had a kid who fell in love with a school? Did it stick?

[Anonymous]

He has time.
Back off a minute, and visit more schools later.

[Anonymous]

Tell him if he loved one among three, just think of what might be right around the corner.

He needs a longer list. The counselor will likely tell him that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has time.
Back off a minute, and visit more schools later.

This. FWIW, I fell in love with a school and my opinion never changed. It wasn't quite a safety but definitely was on the safer side of things. I'd find out what he likes about the School and let that lead your search in other schools. Most of the schools I looked at seriously were all similar to the school I fell in love with (Denison)

[Anonymous]

He needs a longer list. He’s changed a lot since 8th grade, and he can expect to change at least that much again by 12th grade.

BUT, you can stop dragging him on campus visits for now. Expand the list using books or online sources, at least for now. Plenty of people never visit any campus until after they’re admitted.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is currently a sophomore and you’re worried about them liking a supposed safety?

Damn. Stand down. It’s way too early for this.

[Anonymous]

Agree with pp. Chill OP.

[Anonymous]

How do you know for sure it’s a safety when he’s only finished two years of high school? Be happy that he found a place that is a *likely* admit (not definitive) and go from there. He may want to visit more places once he starts talking about schools with peers. If not, remember that fit is more important than prestige .

[Anonymous]

Give him some time. But if by next summer, opinion hasn’t changed much, I see no problem with applying to that school early and calling it a day. Does it have rolling admissions? Even better

[Anonymous]

My kid started 11th grade only wanting schools in CA or the northeast. At the end of 11th, I don't think any of those schools that they loved are on their list anymore and most of the ones that are are south of here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know for sure it’s a safety when he’s only finished two years of high school? Be happy that he found a place that is a *likely* admit (not definitive) and go from there. He may want to visit more places once he starts talking about schools with peers. If not, remember that fit is more important than prestige .

The lack of the prestige isn't a problem. I think it's a great fit for him. The fact that it's a safety is relevant because if he was telling me "Mom, I don't need to go visit schools because I've decided X is right for me!", and X was a highly or even moderately rejective school, I would say "You need to look at a variety of schools, because that's far from a sure thing." I need to say something different here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I followed the advice to start with convenient safeties, and so far my 10th grader has seen three schools, and fallen in love with one of them. We were going to tour some other schools, but now DS is saying he's done. He knows where he wants to go, anticipates he will get in, and so why look at more schools?

Obviously this could make our admissions process easy, and it puts him in a good place in terms of merit aid. But I worry that he might miss out on another school he would like better. Or that he might mature a bigger school when he's a little older.

Has anyone had a kid who fell in love with a school? Did it stick?

Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous]

He's in 10th grade. In another year+, insist on some other applications. He doesn't have to visit. I doubt he will -still- be 100% sure re: his choice. In the meanwhile, though keeping it confidential, maybe have some ideas re: what else would be a good fit. You can have an opinion without expressing it.

Students change their minds, often up to the very end. He may change his mind in April or Senior Year. You never know.

[Anonymous]

It’s WAY too early to worry about it. Just smile and nod.

[Anonymous]

He really should apply to more. If he is accepted by safety and prefers it, then fine. He needs to apply to more colleges partly because relatively few true safety colleges exist right now. Some so-called safety schools might reject some applicants if the applicant looks “over qualified”.