What does it mean to be a masculine man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a man who won’t buy his daughters’ feminine hygiene products, and who won’t walk the dog with its pink harness leash. It’s such fragile masculinity to me. Yuck.

Wow. I’ll buy my daughter a cart full of feminine products if needed. For my daughter and wife I’ll do anything to
Make them happy. When my wife is happy wow she is a beast in the bedroom, an amazing cook and a therapist too lol. Keep the women in your life happy because the reward is big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My partner is a construction foreman in his fifties. He also grew up on a ranch, so he knows how to do all sorts of useful stuff. The way he carries himself just exudes self-confidence and competence. You'd want someone like him to be your pilot or the person who shows up when you've wrecked your car and need to be pulled out before it explodes. He's definitely shorter than 5'10", but he doesn't come across as a short guy at all because of his demeanor.

He has broad shoulders and well-defined arm and stomach muscles to die for, and he works out regularly to maintain it all. (He has zero issues with me not being a regular at the gym.) The main thing that makes him the epitome of masculine is his "I've got this" attitude and his MacGyver ways. He doesn't try to stop me from handling stuff on my own like installing a curtain rod, but if I give him an opening, he'll be there immediately with all his expertise and resources to get it done. He also has no problem whatsoever acknowledging that there are lots of things I'm good at that he isn't, and he readily requests my help with those things, which I see as a sign of his self-confidence. He is fine with wearing light pink/salmon shirts. He is well-groomed and even tries out DIY facial products and recipes he finds on TikTok. So, a masculine man doesn't have to be a caveman.

My partner has children from his prior marriage and takes a great deal of pride in providing for them financially and in being a very involved parent who keeps a close watch over them. He really looks down on other men who don't stick around to raise their kids even if their relationship with the mom didn't work out. I make more money and far more education than he does, so he doesn't have any hang ups about women who can get it done at the office and who are compensated accordingly.

It's like you wrote a job description for The Perfect Man. I don't give a tiny rat's ass about his income; I have my own. But all that other stuff? Confidence + competence + kindness + responsibility? Hired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turnabout is fair play, right?

My definition includes broad shoulders, body and facial hair, a "roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done" attitude, and a total lack of defensiveness about gender roles. Self-identifying alpha males, men who won't nurture because nurturing is feminine, etc, are not masculine. If you have to say it, you aren't.

Wear a$$less chaps!

[Anonymous]

Masculine men or not, women will cheat on you if you fail to “emotionally” support her.

I think men should embrace their feminine side more so they understand women more. But wait if they do that, the women will complain that he is not assertive, he is not this, he is not that. You can’t please them!

[Anonymous]

Decisiveness, leadership, confidence, responsibility.

Not: Indifference, domineering as in demanding total control, insecurity, defensiveness, cowardice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re looking in a forum of entitled suburban moms for an answer you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. 70% of the conversations are about these women divorcing their husbands and how they hate them.

If you want to find masculinity it’s simple. Get in shape, take charge of your life, make good financial decisions and be a good role model for your kids. Not complicated.

If you’re an overweight piece of garbage who can’t even put up some curtain rods it’s time to man up. Learn another skill and trade. Stop eating crap and get in shape . Take charge of your finances. Deliver it in the bedroom like it’s your last night alive.

But trying to find advice among a group of miserable cat ladies….come on

That’s a good definition. I’d add he’s someone who can solve problems and stay calm when the shit hits the fan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is the quite reserved masculine, but when you witness it in action, swoon.

He’s a sigma; that’s even better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turnabout is fair play, right?

My definition includes broad shoulders, body and facial hair, a "roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done" attitude, and a total lack of defensiveness about gender roles. Self-identifying alpha males, men who won't nurture because nurturing is feminine, etc, are not masculine. If you have to say it, you aren't.

Nailed it.
-NP

[Anonymous]

For me, it means a guy who likes sports, knows about cars and can fix and build stuff. Physically he is on the bigger, muscular side and probably has facial and body hair. I'll admit that this is totally my type. (My current BF looks and dresses like a lumberjack and can fix just about anything.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re looking in a forum of entitled suburban moms for an answer you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. 70% of the conversations are about these women divorcing their husbands and how they hate them.

If you want to find masculinity it’s simple. Get in shape, take charge of your life, make good financial decisions and be a good role model for your kids. Not complicated.

If you’re an overweight piece of garbage who can’t even put up some curtain rods it’s time to man up. Learn another skill and trade. Stop eating crap and get in shape . Take charge of your finances. Deliver it in the bedroom like it’s your last night alive.

But trying to find advice among a group of miserable cat ladies….come on

If you’re so much better than everyone on here, why are you on here, posting?

[Anonymous]

Why doesn't this thread have people trying to explain that masculinity a social construct that doesn't really exist? Or that masculinity is a result of matriarchy that forces men into restrictive gender roles?

It seems to be women speaking about what they find attractive in men, but the "feminine woman" thread was full of women explaining what the concept of feminity is wrong, old fashioned and materialistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't this thread have people trying to explain that masculinity a social construct that doesn't really exist? Or that masculinity is a result of matriarchy that forces men into restrictive gender roles?

It seems to be women speaking about what they find attractive in men, but the "feminine woman" thread was full of women explaining what the concept of feminity is wrong, old fashioned and materialistic.

Ok, I'll bite! Masculinity is a social construct and a result of matriarchy that forces men into restrictive gender roles!

This thread has made me think about how to separate "masculinity" from "things I like about my husband," because one thing I like is that he isn't married to restrictive gender roles. He does more than his share of stuff around the house, and is an equal parent. He also doesn't worry about seeming "manly" enough, which is an insecurity I find pretty unattractive.

I wouldn't redefine those things as "good masculinity" because they aren't gender-specific, but at the same time, I appreciate that he is a good role model of a confident, competent man for our sons, who I hope will feel affirmed as men just being themselves.

On the "traditional" side, yeah, I think being able to build and fix stuff is a stereotypically masculine quality that I appreciate. It was never on my list for a partner but a handy man is good to have around!

[Anonymous]

A pickup truck may be involved. Not one that never gets dirty and is used only to drive to Pilates or to your men's rights group. One that is used to haul firewood that you cut yourself, or supplies for the cabin you are building. Bonus points if it's for a deer you shot. And totally ok to drive your four-year-old daughter to dance class in, or your four-year-old son who thinks he wants to be a ballerina too. Because that is how a real man rolls.

[Anonymous]

Does penis size matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does penis size matter?

And classically educated man knows that a man's virility is in his testes. The penis is gauche.