What does it mean to be a masculine man?

[Anonymous]

Turnabout is fair play, right?

My definition includes broad shoulders, body and facial hair, a "roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done" attitude, and a total lack of defensiveness about gender roles. Self-identifying alpha males, men who won't nurture because nurturing is feminine, etc, are not masculine. If you have to say it, you aren't.

[Anonymous]

If you’re looking in a forum of entitled suburban moms for an answer you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. 70% of the conversations are about these women divorcing their husbands and how they hate them.

If you want to find masculinity it’s simple. Get in shape, take charge of your life, make good financial decisions and be a good role model for your kids. Not complicated.

If you’re an overweight piece of garbage who can’t even put up some curtain rods it’s time to man up. Learn another skill and trade. Stop eating crap and get in shape . Take charge of your finances. Deliver it in the bedroom like it’s your last night alive.

But trying to find advice among a group of miserable cat ladies….come on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turnabout is fair play, right?

My definition includes broad shoulders, body and facial hair, a "roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done" attitude, and a total lack of defensiveness about gender roles. Self-identifying alpha males, men who won't nurture because nurturing is feminine, etc, are not masculine. If you have to say it, you aren't.

I posted in the other thread and I see what you're doing lol.

I think your definition is pretty good though even if it's incomplete. I can play the game though...

So feminine women can't do what needs to be done? Feminine women don't wear sleeves? Feminine women ARE absolutely defensive about gender roles

[Anonymous]

I know a man who won’t buy his daughters’ feminine hygiene products, and who won’t walk the dog with its pink harness leash. It’s such fragile masculinity to me. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

I had a boyfriend who was a commercial fisherman and a general contractor. He often wore a pink T shirt and a pink bandana. I thought that was fairly badass at the time. He would have absolutely no problem walking a dog who wore a pink harness while en route to the store to buy tampons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re looking in a forum of entitled suburban moms for an answer you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. 70% of the conversations are about these women divorcing their husbands and how they hate them.

If you want to find masculinity it’s simple. Get in shape, take charge of your life, make good financial decisions and be a good role model for your kids. Not complicated.

If you’re an overweight piece of garbage who can’t even put up some curtain rods it’s time to man up. Learn another skill and trade. Stop eating crap and get in shape . Take charge of your finances. Deliver it in the bedroom like it’s your last night alive.

But trying to find advice among a group of miserable cat ladies….come on

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman. To me it means taking responsibility and getting it done. Whether that’s physical, at work, or within relationships.

So many men fixate on physical or financial. And view emotional vulnerability as a weakness. They can’t ask for directions or admit mistakes or nurture someone at a low point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a man who won’t buy his daughters’ feminine hygiene products, and who won’t walk the dog with its pink harness leash. It’s such fragile masculinity to me. Yuck.

Right?!? I can't even imagine tolerating a man who likes my bits but goes all weak when confronted with their sometimes sanguinary reality. My partner sees tampons on the grocery list and says "tell me exactly what kind." Or he did at the beginning. Now he just takes a picture of the box.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend who was a commercial fisherman and a general contractor. He often wore a pink T shirt and a pink bandana. I thought that was fairly badass at the time. He would have absolutely no problem walking a dog who wore a pink harness while en route to the store to buy tampons.

Swoon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re looking in a forum of entitled suburban moms for an answer you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. 70% of the conversations are about these women divorcing their husbands and how they hate them.

If you want to find masculinity it’s simple. Get in shape, take charge of your life, make good financial decisions and be a good role model for your kids. Not complicated.

If you’re an overweight piece of garbage who can’t even put up some curtain rods it’s time to man up. Learn another skill and trade. Stop eating crap and get in shape . Take charge of your finances. Deliver it in the bedroom like it’s your last night alive.

But trying to find advice among a group of miserable cat ladies….come on

I think you misunderstood... it's just a spinoff from the other thread. No dudes are asking advice here. Although that is some workable advice you gave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. To me it means taking responsibility and getting it done. Whether that’s physical, at work, or within relationships.

So many men fixate on physical or financial. And view emotional vulnerability as a weakness. They can’t ask for directions or admit mistakes or nurture someone at a low point.

That all totally makes sense and are absolutely characteristics of a good man. But wouldn't those apply equally to women? As a man, I wonder what aspects of masculinity women appreciate that you would not expect or appreciate in a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. To me it means taking responsibility and getting it done. Whether that’s physical, at work, or within relationships.

So many men fixate on physical or financial. And view emotional vulnerability as a weakness. They can’t ask for directions or admit mistakes or nurture someone at a low point.

That all totally makes sense and are absolutely characteristics of a good man. But wouldn't those apply equally to women? As a man, I wonder what aspects of masculinity women appreciate that you would not expect or appreciate in a woman.

Fixing things, killing pests, carrying heavy stuff, telling me I'm sexy, understanding that being a woman in a man's world is draining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. To me it means taking responsibility and getting it done. Whether that’s physical, at work, or within relationships.

So many men fixate on physical or financial. And view emotional vulnerability as a weakness. They can’t ask for directions or admit mistakes or nurture someone at a low point.

That all totally makes sense and are absolutely characteristics of a good man. But wouldn't those apply equally to women? As a man, I wonder what aspects of masculinity women appreciate that you would not expect or appreciate in a woman.

But that's the thing. These are the traits that ARE rare in men. Women have these in spades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. To me it means taking responsibility and getting it done. Whether that’s physical, at work, or within relationships.

So many men fixate on physical or financial. And view emotional vulnerability as a weakness. They can’t ask for directions or admit mistakes or nurture someone at a low point.

That all totally makes sense and are absolutely characteristics of a good man. But wouldn't those apply equally to women? As a man, I wonder what aspects of masculinity women appreciate that you would not expect or appreciate in a woman.

I love a burly furry bear of a man. It would be hard to stretch any definition of femininity to include burly/ furry. Though I know there are dudes out there who are into that!

As for the non-physical... hm... It's true that I am happy to leave certain things to my guy, because he is less affected by them. Cat barf and dead things are his area. Conflict leaves me shaken, so while I CAN fight my own fights, and often do, I don't hate it when he protects me from having to. It feels regressive just to say that **slinking away in feminist shame**

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. To me it means taking responsibility and getting it done. Whether that’s physical, at work, or within relationships.

So many men fixate on physical or financial. And view emotional vulnerability as a weakness. They can’t ask for directions or admit mistakes or nurture someone at a low point.

That all totally makes sense and are absolutely characteristics of a good man. But wouldn't those apply equally to women? As a man, I wonder what aspects of masculinity women appreciate that you would not expect or appreciate in a woman.

But that's the thing. These are the traits that ARE rare in men. Women have these in spades.

So what you want is for men to be more like women?