Is marriage a bad deal for a rich man?
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Anonymous
Actually it’s both that are like this. Regardless society has taught us women are capable and independent. They don’t need no man etc…that is until they need alimony and CS. It’s jut beneficial for men to marry, and if you’re a wealthy man and look decently attractive you’re in the top 1% and can have any women you pretty much choose. Why settle for one and lose your livelihood? Most men don’t have that option so they date who they can. The idea of romantic relationships and traditional roles in a relationship are no longer the norm or desire for women. So why should men stick to traditional roles (provider, breadwinner, protector, handyman) whey overall western society has told them they don’t want it? Studies show by 2030 54% of women over 38 will be single and childless. Thing is…most women want to have kids. But the system is stacked against men in terms of the traditional marriage contract. Guys realize it’s a losing bet for them and opt out. 65% if single men under the age of 35 aren’t even looking for relationships let alone in one. So they’ve decided to just stay home instead of playing a game that intentionally has no path to victory |
Anonymous
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And then they die with no legacy to carry their life foward. It's very sad for all.
We are the richest nation in the world. The idea that people in Iran who have more patriarchy have more than any man here is ridiculous. There is enough money to go around. We just don't prioritize anything other than wealth here. |
Anonymous
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If they don't want any kids, absolutely they should stay single.
If they want kids, I think setting kids up for being in and out of your life followed by a team of nannies (and also subjecting them to seeing you with a revolving door of different partners) will be like signing up for a future of headaches... |
Anonymous
Love is a fleeting emotion and in reality marriage means nothing. When such a high rate if marriages (almost half) end in divorce and 70-90% are initiated by women it shows love is never enough. For the most part only one of the two genders is loved unconditionally and not usually expected to suffer for the betterment of the collective. Traditionally it’s men who go to war, pick up the sewage, mine for oil and coal, expected to deal with dangerous criminals, pick up downed power lines, roofing, construction work, ranchers and farming…etc. all of these things are expected of men. When men don’t add value they’re discarded. The idea of romantic love is purely transactional. Women love men who can provide. Even though they say they’re independent men are still expected to pay for dates and take initiative into asking and planning. Women just need to be available and get asked out and taken care of. |
Anonymous
Child support is cheaper than actually raising your kids so if you can get your ex to do it all on the state’s child support calculation you’re winning.
Well first men should marry before the “empire building” phase of life, but in any case, your divorce statistics don’t take into consideration the fact that risk of divorce is much much lower when both parties are college-educated and married after 25.
You’re not talking about rich men here, obviously.
Divorce rates have gone down. And in the vast majority of cases men don’t have more custody because they either don’t ask for it or don’t take what they’re ordered.
What about all the men who murder their wives for threatening to divorce them? Happens all the time. Far more often than your anecdote. |
Anonymous
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Top that off by the fact 80% of divorces are initiated by women (90% of college educated) there is too much risk. If you're a man who has built his empire and worked hard, it's put at risk as soon as you marry.
People need to understand that women do this to protect themselves. That it isn't they who often want the divorces, but they and their children have the most to lose whether staying married or divorcing. It's a means of protection. A few thousand to make sure you and your children are cared for is the better deal. People take this statistic to mean that they want out more or don't enjoy marriage as much but that is rarely the case. It's like saying men initiate the first date the most so they want the relationship more as if women don't advertise themselves for it. |
Anonymous
What a bunch of driveling nonsense. You are unmoored from reality. |
Anonymous
you are clearly a very rational and well-adjusted person and i cannot imagine why you’re having trouble dating |
Anonymous
Often these divorces are legally “initiated” by women who have already been abandoned but whose husbands won’t do them the favor of handling the paperwork. That’s why they file. And you actually already know that but are lying to make a point. |
Anonymous
| Divorce used to be illegal unless infidelity now it's too easy |
Anonymous
And what is their socio-economic status? I’d venture to guess that it’s poor. |
Anonymous
This kind of rhetoric is more common these days and it’s worrying. Men see that women are divorcing in higher numbers and instead of wanting to understand why that is and see if they can make staying in a marriage more attractive to women, they decide that the better solution would to make it hard for women to leave. I think we will see a push to get rid of no-fault divorce. Yikes. |
Anonymous
Oh boy, lots to unpack here and so much disinformation. First, divorce rates are not actually decreasing, fewer people are getting married overall so it will show a decrease when the marriage rate itself is declining. Over the last 50 years, the marriage rate in the U.S. has dropped by nearly 60%. Divorces amongst people aged 50+ years are rising. This means you get people aren’t getting married, they merely break up. The best thing to do for a man now is to break up. In fact, studies show that 70% of divorces are initiated by women. When accounting for just college-educated women, that figure jumps up to 90%. The main reason is that while women have a lot at risk after a divorce, such as less money and fewer assets, they tend to be happier. Many women feel a great degree of satisfaction after divorce. So as the numbers show, a huge decline in marriage will equal less divorces. The fact remains that older people who die value marriage- or at least considered it the norm - are getting divorced at higher rates. Top that off with most men aren’t even looking for relationships right now according to polls drives the numbers down Men don’t marry before the “empire building phase” because traditionally women don’t want men who are struggling or building, they pick the ones who are already there. Statistics show out he dating market women only find 5-10 percent of men attractive. Even lesser when it comes to actually going on dates. Women typically choose men who have resources and can already take care of themselves and potentially them. Women don’t date men who earn less or have less education than them. Even if a blue collar man makes more money polls show women don’t want ti date then anyways. But with women graduating college at much higher rates than men now, they field of men to choose from is shrinking even more. Your statement about 50/50 custody is plain false. In fact studies show fathers are more involved now than in the past. A study by a team of sociologists at Brigham Young and Ball State universities indicates that fathers today are more engaged with their kids than previous generations. Men want more time with kids, but are also in average working much more in terms of hours or in jobs that are dangerous and require them to be engaged fully in their job for safety reasons. I would be considered pretty high standard of living and while not super rich, definitely doing very well. Most if my friends are too. Those experiences I mentioned were within a circle of friends who are either at a high level in government of business owners. They’re rich by normal standards Then amount if Ken who actually murder their wives is ah outlier and not something that commonly happens statistically speaking in terms of the amount of men and women who are higher. In fact statistically lesbian couples are at higher rates of DV than heterosexual couples. It seems as a women, you’re more in danger of marrying another women than a man |
Anonymous
Studies show kids do best when the parents are married, kids in home with single fathers have similar statistics. For example, studies have found that children that from single-mother households are 5 times more likely to commit suicide than children from both unbroken households and single-father households, 9 times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14 times more likely to commit rape, 20 times more likely to end up in prison and 32 times more likely to run away from home. The list does not stop there, single-mother households also account for 70% of all teen pregnancies, 70% of all child murders, and they account for the majority of filicide cases, which means yes, a child living in a single-mother household is the most likely to be murdered by their parent. Most at this point will probably think that the stepfather is the main killer and reason; however, studies have found this to be false and that stepparents are no more likely to kill children than their biological counterparts. This means inevitably, that single mothers are on average the biggest killers of children, some studies even show that mothers are the biggest killers of children overall. https://www.breakingthescience.org/SimplifiedDataFromDHHS.php Studies show single-father households are on par with two-parent households. As for those with coparenting situations - the less a father is in the life of a child the more likely they are to engage in riskier behaviors which include taking drugs and teen pregnancy. I’m a lot of cases custody is denied to the father. Fathers are granted custody only 18.3% of the time. Mothers are awarded child support nearly 2 times as often as fathers are. Fathers are awarded nearly 10% less, on average, in child support. These are all risk factors to weigh if you’re a single man looking to get married. There is no reason as a man ti engage in a risky contract that has at least a 1 in 2 chance of failure with you losing not only your wealth but your family. Keep in mind the suicide rate for males is already 3-4 times higher than women and jumps to 9 times if you’re a divorced male. Given these risks it’s better for men ti not engage in marriage until the laws change |
Anonymous
| The divorce rate is quite low for couples who are both college-educated and married after age 25. Citing to risk of divorce based on the general population is not relevant to the typical DCUM couple. |