Is it true the Big 3 kids are getting hammered this year- and by that I mean bad admissions results?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

I think you mean your “friends”. They probably don’t know that you’re judging them so unkindly. I assume you keep your self-satisfaction more or less under wraps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Well, aren't you lovely?

You know, my friend from Radford is an IT Exec and doing quite well. He loves the private school and elite college kids. He says they make good subordinates.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

I think you mean your “friends”. They probably don’t know that you’re judging them so unkindly. I assume you keep your self-satisfaction more or less under wraps.

NP. To the poster with an allegedly different definition of success: Have you ever asked your friends with kids in private schools if they would mind if their children ended up as NIH researchers? It seems past odd to claim that they would. I don't know anyone in my private school who would object to their child doing something like that. Most of the ones I know don't care nearly as much about "social polish" as you think. For them is it just making sure that their child is well-positioned to do whatever they want to do in the future - i.e., maximizing their potential.

[Anonymous]

To the PP that said “You know, my friend from Radford is an IT Exec and doing quite well. He loves the private school and elite college kids. He says they make good subordinates.
”

Here’s how I know you are making this up. Because it’s not true. Private school kids don’t usually make good subordinates, they tend to think they should be the one in charge. Also, LOL. Big deal, you know an executive that went to Redford? Who cares? Plenty of successful people didn’t graduate or went to state schools and are highly successful. We don’t need your lame example about your friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

I think you mean your “friends”. They probably don’t know that you’re judging them so unkindly. I assume you keep your self-satisfaction more or less under wraps.

NP. To the poster with an allegedly different definition of success: Have you ever asked your friends with kids in private schools if they would mind if their children ended up as NIH researchers? It seems past odd to claim that they would. I don't know anyone in my private school who would object to their child doing something like that. Most of the ones I know don't care nearly as much about "social polish" as you think. For them is it just making sure that their child is well-positioned to do whatever they want to do in the future - i.e., maximizing their potential.

Thats a direct quote on the NIH thing. I was taken aback but then realized that not everyone has the same definition of success. Status means something different to them than to me. Whats wrong with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

I think you mean your “friends”. They probably don’t know that you’re judging them so unkindly. I assume you keep your self-satisfaction more or less under wraps.

NP. To the poster with an allegedly different definition of success: Have you ever asked your friends with kids in private schools if they would mind if their children ended up as NIH researchers? It seems past odd to claim that they would. I don't know anyone in my private school who would object to their child doing something like that. Most of the ones I know don't care nearly as much about "social polish" as you think. For them is it just making sure that their child is well-positioned to do whatever they want to do in the future - i.e., maximizing their potential.

Thats a direct quote on the NIH thing. I was taken aback but then realized that not everyone has the same definition of success. Status means something different to them than to me. Whats wrong with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Idk, it seems like most of the posts complaining about admissions are coming from the TJ crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Idk, it seems like most of the posts complaining about admissions are coming from the TJ crowd.

This is the private Big 3 crowd complaining about admissions.

Keep up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Idk, it seems like most of the posts complaining about admissions are coming from the TJ crowd.

TJ had a different thread to whine, you may have this thread confused with the TJ one.
Plenty of hand-wringing to go around this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

I think you mean your “friends”. They probably don’t know that you’re judging them so unkindly. I assume you keep your self-satisfaction more or less under wraps.

NP. To the poster with an allegedly different definition of success: Have you ever asked your friends with kids in private schools if they would mind if their children ended up as NIH researchers? It seems past odd to claim that they would. I don't know anyone in my private school who would object to their child doing something like that. Most of the ones I know don't care nearly as much about "social polish" as you think. For them is it just making sure that their child is well-positioned to do whatever they want to do in the future - i.e., maximizing their potential.

Thats a direct quote on the NIH thing. I was taken aback but then realized that not everyone has the same definition of success. Status means something different to them than to me. Whats wrong with that?

You mean, you actually asked a parent if they would want their child to be an NIH researcher? And they said they would be disappointed if they were? Really?

But honestly, unless someone actually said to you, "the status of my child's job is important to me" you could be wrong about your assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

I think you mean your “friends”. They probably don’t know that you’re judging them so unkindly. I assume you keep your self-satisfaction more or less under wraps.

NP. To the poster with an allegedly different definition of success: Have you ever asked your friends with kids in private schools if they would mind if their children ended up as NIH researchers? It seems past odd to claim that they would. I don't know anyone in my private school who would object to their child doing something like that. Most of the ones I know don't care nearly as much about "social polish" as you think. For them is it just making sure that their child is well-positioned to do whatever they want to do in the future - i.e., maximizing their potential.

Thats a direct quote on the NIH thing. I was taken aback but then realized that not everyone has the same definition of success. Status means something different to them than to me. Whats wrong with that?

You mean, you actually asked a parent if they would want their child to be an NIH researcher? And they said they would be disappointed if they were? Really?

But honestly, unless someone actually said to you, "the status of my child's job is important to me" you could be wrong about your assumptions.

The conversation went more like this. I read about this amazing stuff they are doing in cell based therapies. DD is interested in this stuff. Maybe she’ll end up as an NIH researcher (the article in question was profiling a researcher). She said “I don’t know - those aren’t high paid jobs. I wouldn’t feel like my son had made it unless he was at least as financially successful as his dad.” BTW, I don’t think there is anything wrong in her attitude. My kid may not grow up to be an NIH researcher (likely). Her kid may not turn out to be financially successful. But it’s ok to have dreams for your kids provided you don’t force it on them. And your dreams for your kids don’t have to be acceptable to anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences. [/m

If this is what you think of your friends, why are you friends with them? I’m a public school grad w/kids at area independents. Public schools are made up of kids from particular zip codes. As a result, you get public school parents that fit the description of your friends with kids at private schools. There are parents with kids at Deal and Bethesda and Potomac middle schools that send them to Cotillion and similar “finishing classes.” There are parents at all of those schools that belong to country clubs, take very nice vacations, and have elaborate parties for their kids teenage birthdays or milestones that are fancier and nicer than most people’s weddings. This is a very wealthy area and a lot of public school parents match the stereotype of the entitled private school parent.

As for me, we sent them to private school because there were things their school offered that we couldn’t get at our public and we were able to do it. Things like smaller class sizes, no standardized tests, lots of recess and PE, our kids had to play a sport every season, progressive curriculum, more diversity in the student body including geographic diversity, maybe its just my kids schools but they have a much more diverse friend group than their friends from the neighborhood have), really strong music and arts program, strong service learning and volunteer programs. I don’t know where my kids will go to college. They work hard, do really well academically, and are engaged in the school and greater community. Feedback from teachers is that they are good, decent, kind human beings and treat others well. As far as we’re concerned, sending them to private school has been worth it. They have the tools to succeed wherever they go. They know how to work hard, work well with others, and to use their education to make the world a better place in some way. This type of kid exists in both private and public schools just like entitled kids exist at both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did not underwrite our kid's success. They earned it.

Your little Larla may fall on her face when Daddy is not there to bankroll her supposed accomplishments. Mine will not.

Nasty public school parent. Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

If this is what you think of your friends, why are you friends with them? I’m a public school grad w/kids at area independents. Public schools are made up of kids from particular zip codes. As a result, you get public school parents that fit the description of your friends with kids at private schools. There are parents with kids at Deal and Bethesda and Potomac middle schools that send them to Cotillion and similar “finishing classes.” There are parents at all of those schools that belong to country clubs, take very nice vacations, and have elaborate parties for their kids teenage birthdays or milestones that are fancier and nicer than most people’s weddings. This is a very wealthy area and a lot of public school parents match the stereotype of the entitled private school parent.

As for me, we sent them to private school because there were things their school offered that we couldn’t get at our public and we were able to do it. Things like smaller class sizes, no standardized tests, lots of recess and PE, our kids had to play a sport every season, progressive curriculum, more diversity in the student body including geographic diversity, maybe its just my kids schools but they have a much more diverse friend group than their friends from the neighborhood have), really strong music and arts program, strong service learning and volunteer programs. I don’t know where my kids will go to college. They work hard, do really well academically, and are engaged in the school and greater community. Feedback from teachers is that they are good, decent, kind human beings and treat others well. As far as we’re concerned, sending them to private school has been worth it. They have the tools to succeed wherever they go. They know how to work hard, work well with others, and to use their education to make the world a better place in some way. This type of kid exists in both private and public schools just like entitled kids exist at both.

+1000 exactly this. There are status-conscious, entitled social climbers at public schools and at private schools. Generalizing about the values of private school parents says only that you are quick to stereotype, and that you can’t imagine how anyone who shares your lofty values could make different choices than you made. It’s a smug, cramped viewpoint.

If you learn that someone’s kids are in private school, you then know one thing: they signed a contract with a private school.