Is it true the Big 3 kids are getting hammered this year- and by that I mean bad admissions results?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did not underwrite our kid's success. They earned it.

Your little Larla may fall on her face when Daddy is not there to bankroll her supposed accomplishments. Mine will not.

Nasty public school parent. Shame on you.

Also false. You pay for the home in your kid’s school district, computers, books, summer camps, enrichment, etc. We all underwrite our kid’s successes by providing opportunities for them to learn. Some choose to sacrifice much more to send their kids to private schools, which most parents can’t easily afford. Others drive Range Rovers and BMWs and take expensive vacations while lecturing DCUM on the moral virtues of sending their kids to public school and being gleeful when they hear anecdotes of private school kids whose parents are upset they didn’t get into their preferred Ivy. Those parents also don’t get it. If all you thought you were paying for was a guarantee of some college admission, you clearly didn’t do your homework.

[Anonymous]

Private school parents are paying for the “privilege” of hanging out with other rich people, in lieu of the unwashed masses. I thought everyone knew that. Same as rich wife “realtors” who use their husband’s money, for a country club rolodex as their “customer” base.

[Anonymous]

It is like they want bragging rights that their kid is at a school that accepts hardly anyone.

Then, when that plays out (i.e. their kid is not accepted, which statistically was the most likely outcome), they are shocked and horrified.

It really comes across like they thought we had the secret decoder ring that would get them in.

(These are often the same posters that complain about test optional because they claim to prefer a meritocracy!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private school parents are paying for the “privilege” of hanging out with other rich people, in lieu of the unwashed masses. I thought everyone knew that. Same as rich wife “realtors” who use their husband’s money, for a country club rolodex as their “customer” base.

Private school parent here. I don't like most of the "rich people" at our "Big 3" private school. I certainly don't hang out with any of them. My kids are at that school to get an education that hasn't been constrained by bureaucrats. They are also there because of the insane overcrowding at our public school, which limits the number of kids who can participate in extra-curricular activities. They might add trailers and teachers, but they don't add sports teams. So go ahead and assume what you like. Like most assumptions, it is not just wrong but foolish.

[Anonymous]

Looking at the college acceptances, it looks to me that the top schools do not care about the number of APs or NMSF status.

[Anonymous]

Nope, they do not. APs are a differentiator at schools where the on-level curriculum is not rigorous. At the selective private schools, there are high expectations in every class, so AP becomes less important. And PSAT scores just do not matter at all.

[Anonymous]

I don't get the elite private school thing. In my teen days, I had a few offers of interest as I had high grades and scores and was from a poor single mother home. Oh, and in 8th grade I was performing in athletics at nearly a college level. There was nothing that an elite private school could have done for me, other than lower the quality of the athletes I was competing against. (Eventually a state and national champion in high school). Moreover, nothing was better than the big public high school I attended in terms of learning to manage your own affairs. No one to spoon feed you. My public high school was good and the kids by and large were not all that tough mentally, but I got plenty of exposure to that in athletics. Again, I don't see the value proposition (I went to one of the two top 10 universities that give Division 1 scholarships), and the university I attended had scores of elite private school kids. By and large these kids were no better than the public school kids, and worse yet, they would have their parents on top of them for academic and career decisions. I did well because from an early age my grades and accomplishments were entirely my own - I had to live with them. I just don't get the elite private school thing.

[Anonymous]

I just don’t get the humble-bragging about your athletic accomplishments that no one cares about anymore thing.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

If this is what you think of your friends, why are you friends with them? I’m a public school grad w/kids at area independents. Public schools are made up of kids from particular zip codes. As a result, you get public school parents that fit the description of your friends with kids at private schools. There are parents with kids at Deal and Bethesda and Potomac middle schools that send them to Cotillion and similar “finishing classes.” There are parents at all of those schools that belong to country clubs, take very nice vacations, and have elaborate parties for their kids teenage birthdays or milestones that are fancier and nicer than most people’s weddings. This is a very wealthy area and a lot of public school parents match the stereotype of the entitled private school parent.

As for me, we sent them to private school because there were things their school offered that we couldn’t get at our public and we were able to do it. Things like smaller class sizes, no standardized tests, lots of recess and PE, our kids had to play a sport every season, progressive curriculum, more diversity in the student body including geographic diversity, maybe its just my kids schools but they have a much more diverse friend group than their friends from the neighborhood have), really strong music and arts program, strong service learning and volunteer programs. I don’t know where my kids will go to college. They work hard, do really well academically, and are engaged in the school and greater community. Feedback from teachers is that they are good, decent, kind human beings and treat others well. As far as we’re concerned, sending them to private school has been worth it. They have the tools to succeed wherever they go. They know how to work hard, work well with others, and to use their education to make the world a better place in some way. This type of kid exists in both private and public schools just like entitled kids exist at both.

+1000 exactly this. There are status-conscious, entitled social climbers at public schools and at private schools. Generalizing about the values of private school parents says only that you are quick to stereotype, and that you can’t imagine how anyone who shares your lofty values could make different choices than you made. It’s a smug, cramped viewpoint.

If you learn that someone’s kids are in private school, you then know one thing: they signed a contract with a private school.

Because I don’t believe it’s inherently bad to want to have your kids have financial success. I can respect that viewpoint even if it isn’t mine. Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES.

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents.

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.

Nah. Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections. They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school. Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish. They value education but to keep social standing. They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life. They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal. For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into. The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back. They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point. I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society. If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy. I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money). On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids. Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives. So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.

If this is what you think of your friends, why are you friends with them? I’m a public school grad w/kids at area independents. Public schools are made up of kids from particular zip codes. As a result, you get public school parents that fit the description of your friends with kids at private schools. There are parents with kids at Deal and Bethesda and Potomac middle schools that send them to Cotillion and similar “finishing classes.” There are parents at all of those schools that belong to country clubs, take very nice vacations, and have elaborate parties for their kids teenage birthdays or milestones that are fancier and nicer than most people’s weddings. This is a very wealthy area and a lot of public school parents match the stereotype of the entitled private school parent.

As for me, we sent them to private school because there were things their school offered that we couldn’t get at our public and we were able to do it. Things like smaller class sizes, no standardized tests, lots of recess and PE, our kids had to play a sport every season, progressive curriculum, more diversity in the student body including geographic diversity, maybe its just my kids schools but they have a much more diverse friend group than their friends from the neighborhood have), really strong music and arts program, strong service learning and volunteer programs. I don’t know where my kids will go to college. They work hard, do really well academically, and are engaged in the school and greater community. Feedback from teachers is that they are good, decent, kind human beings and treat others well. As far as we’re concerned, sending them to private school has been worth it. They have the tools to succeed wherever they go. They know how to work hard, work well with others, and to use their education to make the world a better place in some way. This type of kid exists in both private and public schools just like entitled kids exist at both.

+1000 exactly this. There are status-conscious, entitled social climbers at public schools and at private schools. Generalizing about the values of private school parents says only that you are quick to stereotype, and that you can’t imagine how anyone who shares your lofty values could make different choices than you made. It’s a smug, cramped viewpoint.

If you learn that someone’s kids are in private school, you then know one thing: they signed a contract with a private school.

Because I don’t believe it’s inherently bad to want to have your kids have financial success. I can respect that viewpoint even if it isn’t mine. Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with them?

Because you assume that they all want their children to make lots of money, as opposed to wanting them to contribute to society. Seems a little judge-y...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did not underwrite our kid's success. They earned it.

Your little Larla may fall on her face when Daddy is not there to bankroll her supposed accomplishments. Mine will not.

Why are you so bitter? Why do you care if people have more money than you? So your Larla earn it or do that box checking enthusiasm get her in the accept pile? Not sure where bitter comes in.

[Anonymous]

Some of us send our kids to private because they are for certain with folks who chose to value education given the price tag. We all know that who you are friends with and work with shapes who you are and what you aspire to. Some of us chose private as it underscores religious beliefs we as parents profess. Some (looking at you DCPS) don’t want our kids walking though metal detectors, or in overcrowded classrooms. I don’t know that the experimental “testing optional” will work out. I dont know that the other aspects of life that weaken a child’s performance in school won’t carry to college. But what I do know is that I am giving my child the best education - which is about values and work ethic and yes, academic rigor - that I could afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the elite private school thing. In my teen days, I had a few offers of interest as I had high grades and scores and was from a poor single mother home. Oh, and in 8th grade I was performing in athletics at nearly a college level. There was nothing that an elite private school could have done for me, other than lower the quality of the athletes I was competing against. (Eventually a state and national champion in high school). Moreover, nothing was better than the big public high school I attended in terms of learning to manage your own affairs. No one to spoon feed you. My public high school was good and the kids by and large were not all that tough mentally, but I got plenty of exposure to that in athletics. Again, I don't see the value proposition (I went to one of the two top 10 universities that give Division 1 scholarships), and the university I attended had scores of elite private school kids. By and large these kids were no better than the public school kids, and worse yet, they would have their parents on top of them for academic and career decisions. I did well because from an early age my grades and accomplishments were entirely my own - I had to live with them. I just don't get the elite private school thing.

For one thing, you would have learned better writing skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did not underwrite our kid's success. They earned it.

Your little Larla may fall on her face when Daddy is not there to bankroll her supposed accomplishments. Mine will not.

Nasty public school parent. Shame on you.

Truth hurts doesn’t it, nasty GDS parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us send our kids to private because they are for certain with folks who chose to value education given the price tag. We all know that who you are friends with and work with shapes who you are and what you aspire to. Some of us chose private as it underscores religious beliefs we as parents profess. Some (looking at you DCPS) don’t want our kids walking though metal detectors, or in overcrowded classrooms. I don’t know that the experimental “testing optional” will work out. I dont know that the other aspects of life that weaken a child’s performance in school won’t carry to college. But what I do know is that I am giving my child the best education - which is about values and work ethic and yes, academic rigor - that I could afford.

You keep telling yourself that while you think about the hundreds of thousands of dollars you wasted while a kid from Wilson takes your spot at the school you covet and feel you are entitled to. I wish I could be there to see the misery on DCs face - you deserve it.