Reply to Is it true the Big 3 kids are getting hammered this year- and by that I mean bad admissions results?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it just me or do a whole lot of these posts read as "I paid a ton of money for my privileged kid to go to private high school with the expectation that they'd get into a fancy-ass college and I am big mad that they are being lapped by a bunch of public school kids I do not know who I assume are undeserving and not as worthy as my precious darling."

YIKES. [/quote]

I feel that this is true, and SOME of these parents on DCUM do not even try to hide their disdain for public school kids and talk about them like they are totally unmotivated, undeserving morons.

And then, there are other Big 3 parents who are completely kind and normal and seem to get that you can be gifted and deserving from a public high school.[/quote]

Product of public school, parent of a kid in private school here. I see very little disdain for public school kids vs the incredible vitriol that public school parents like to heap upon private school kids. You never see private school parents posting in the public school forums to sneer, but you see public school parents coming to the private school forums all the time to explicitly detail all the ways in which they think that private school kids are inferior. It's weird.

It was a no-brainer that this thread was going to end up populated by gleeful public school parents who are rubbing their hands together, delighted by any perceived disadvantage for private school kids. It's not a good look.[/quote]

This x1000. Where is all the disdain for the public school kids??? All I see is nasty, snarky, and defensive crap directed at the private school kids. It is indeed, not a good look. It comes off as jealous or insecure. I have 2 kids, one in private (not big 3) and one in public. I 100% see way more nastiness from the public school parents. [/quote]

Maybe it is due to all of the posts from people who are practically suicidal because their kids are going to wind up in the same colleges as our kids. And they paid a lot of money to avoid that outcome.[/quote]

Nah.  Half a million is worth ensuring our kids have polish and connections.  They may end up at the same college as your kid, but they are already on third ready to steal home and your kid is on the verge of striking out.  [/quote]

Leaving the nastiness aside, I do have different definitions of "success" for my kid than friends who have kids in private school.  Private school parents (at least in my small group) would like their kids to get social polish.  They value education but to keep social standing.  They want (like we all do) happiness for their kids and to minimize their burden later in life.  They dont really care if their kid makes a huge contribution to society - that would be nice, but not the goal.  For me, I want my kids to have an impact in whatever sphere they go into.  The sphere may be small, but I believe they have to give back.  They are smart, talented, and have a solid starting point.  I want them to maximize their potential because they owe it to themselves, their family, and their society.  If my kid ended up as, say, an NIH researcher, I would be really happy.  I dont get the feeling that this is the type of "prestige job" that some private school parents would consider a plus (because it doesn't have social cache or money).  On the other hand, there is probably a lot more that is in common for our hopes for our kids.  Most parents want their kids to grow up to be kind, to be generous, and to have stable and happy lives.  So there is definitely more that binds us than our differences.  [/quote]

I think you mean your “friends”. They probably don’t know that you’re judging them so unkindly. I assume you keep your self-satisfaction more or less under wraps. [/quote]

NP. To the poster with an allegedly different definition of success: Have you ever asked your friends with kids in private schools if they would mind if their children ended up as NIH researchers? It seems past odd to claim that they would. I don't know anyone in my private school who would object to their child doing something like that. Most of the ones I know don't care nearly as much about "social polish" as you think. For them is it just making sure that their child is well-positioned to do whatever they want to do in the future - i.e., maximizing their potential.[/quote]

Thats a direct quote on the NIH thing.  I was taken aback but then realized that not everyone has the same definition of success.  Status means something different to them than to me.  Whats wrong with that?[/quote]

You mean, you actually asked a parent if they would want their child to be an NIH researcher? And they said they would be disappointed if they were? Really?

But honestly, unless someone actually said to you, "the status of my child's job is important to me" you could be wrong about your assumptions.[/quote]

The conversation went more like this. I read about this amazing stuff they are doing in cell based therapies. DD is interested in this stuff. Maybe she’ll end up as an NIH researcher (the article in question was profiling a researcher). She said “I don’t know - those aren’t high paid jobs.  I wouldn’t feel like my son had made it unless he was at least as financially successful as his dad.”  BTW, I don’t think there is anything wrong in her attitude. My kid may not grow up to be an NIH researcher (likely). Her kid may not turn out to be financially successful. But it’s ok to have dreams for your kids provided you don’t force it on them. And your dreams for your kids don’t have to be acceptable to anyone else.  [/quote]

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