Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week

[Anonymous]

Why did you crowdsource this, OP? You seem certain about what you plan to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you crowdsource this, OP? You seem certain about what you plan to do.

She didn't crowdsource whether she should go or not; she already is going. She asked for advice on how to make it easier for her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have a great bond with my child. I’m not suffering from PPD. Yes it will be shed to be away. I love him and will miss him, but we will be video calling and he’s in great hands. My husband is a good father and will take great care of him. My son will not notice I’m gone for a week. We will be fine when I get back. I’ve had friends have hospital stays and trips spring this time and the baby was fine. My MIL can also help my husband if he needs a break.

My dad has multiple health issues - heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. He has damaged discs in his back and degenerative disc disease that makes it tough for him to get around to stand for long periods. He needs help getting around and with things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.

I will not be risking our safety with “ play dates” as one pp said. My dad doesn’t have play dates because he’s not a 5 year old. He’s pretty much in the house except for sitting on porch and or in backyard ( he lives on 50 acres with no neighbors for miles). I’m driving there for two hours and will not be making any stops. My dad doesn’t go anywhere and hasn’t this entire pandemic. His caretaker runs his errands but is following proper protocols. I don’t think I will need to quarantine because I’m going straight there, will be there for a week, and then driving back.

My husband is fine with it. We had a talk about it and he said it was fine. I worked in healthcare and have the medical background to care for my dad. I wouldn’t do this if it weren’t a pandemic, but my siblings flying will put him at risk of exposure.

I asked for tips, not rude comments about how I’m mentally unstable, hate my child, and my baby will hate me when I get back. This is a hard decision but I’m doing whats best for both my dad and baby. This is really rude and not what I expected from women who are so called parents. Hopefully your kids grow up with a little more compassion and class than you.


When you ask questions you dont get to control the responses. Had you mentioned that you have already been away from your baby than I dont think comments about being separated so soon wouldnt have happened as much. We all assumed it was the first time.

I wish you and your whole family the best.

OP here. I haven’t left my baby. I said I know friends who have had hospital stays and business trips around this age and the baby was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you crowdsource this, OP? You seem certain about what you plan to do.

She didn't crowdsource whether she should go or not; she already is going. She asked for advice on how to make it easier for her husband.

OP here. I asked for tips.

[Anonymous]

Don't bother op with the mean people here. Your family will be fine

[Anonymous]

OP, why won’t you drive back a forth a few times during the week to help your husband and see your baby? Is your Dad’s caretaker a live-in giving him 24/7 care? You mention meals, medicine, and cooking. Can you have dinner prepared for your Dad by 3, leave to be home by 5, and leave home again at 9am to be back with your Dad Monday and Thursday maybe. If the roles were reversed and my DH was gone for a full week leaving me with an 8-week old and was only two hours away, I wouldn’t be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't bother op with the mean people here. Your family will be fine

Yep there are some really mean people on this site. Way back when, I posted a thread about how miserable I was in my third trimester and it was like 4 pages of people piling on telling me I should just be grateful because I could be pregnant since some people are infertile. At the time I was like wtf but now years later I look back and realize those people were sad and miserable and taking it out on me. Just like people are doing to the op of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't bother op with the mean people here. Your family will be fine

Yep there are some really mean people on this site. Way back when, I posted a thread about how miserable I was in my third trimester and it was like 4 pages of people piling on telling me I should just be grateful because I could be pregnant since some people are infertile. At the time I was like wtf but now years later I look back and realize those people were sad and miserable and taking it out on me. Just like people are doing to the op of this thread.

Years ago I posted about moving with my then 3-year old in the fall and juggling switching preschools. People piled on about how I was a horrible mother for having him start preschool just to switch after a month. I was new to dcum and had no idea how awful and idiotic people could be. It got under my skin and I’m grateful the directors at the new school and old school were able to talk me off the ledge. Lesson learned about needing a thick skin to post here. It served me well a few years later when I posted about an unintentional (but welcomed) pregnancy and people told me to abort. I hope op’s takeaway is that people on dcum suck and that she’ll be just fine along with her family.

[Anonymous]

After delivery, our hospital sent our newborn home (our first) home with my husband, and kept me

[Anonymous]

There are single dads from birth in. There are gay men who adopt babies. Many people have their babies in daycare by 23 weeks and away from mom.

There is no reason why men and in this case op’s husband can’t parent their children. Surprised so many are against fathers as equal parents.

[Anonymous]

It's not easy, but doable. However, have some sort of support system just in case. If DH falls and twists his ankle, who can come and help? find a friend or relative willing to step in. It's tough at that age by yourself mostly for the lack of sleep. Second the advice to pre-prepare everything - frozen meals and snacks for dad, formula stash, diaper stash, do all laundry before you leave, have emergency contacts prominently displayed - periatrician, plumber, HVAC company. Also write out schedule and algorythm for whatever it is that mostly you do regularly (sterilize bottles? )

If you don't have a Snoo, now is a good time to get one

[Anonymous]

The point isn’t that it can technically be done, it’s that tiny babies need their mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not easy, but doable. However, have some sort of support system just in case. If DH falls and twists his ankle, who can come and help? find a friend or relative willing to step in. It's tough at that age by yourself mostly for the lack of sleep. Second the advice to pre-prepare everything - frozen meals and snacks for dad, formula stash, diaper stash, do all laundry before you leave, have emergency contacts prominently displayed - periatrician, plumber, HVAC company. Also write out schedule and algorythm for whatever it is that mostly you do regularly (sterilize bottles? )

If you don't have a Snoo, now is a good time to get one

OP said her MIL can come help and her son sleeps an 8 hour stretch at night. Her husband will get sleep. I'm sure OP's husband knows the numbers to the pediatrician's, plumber, and HAVC company. OP's husband has been home and I'm sure he knows what to do with his child. I doubt they need a snow since OP's baby sleeps an 8hour stretch at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point isn’t that it can technically be done, it’s that tiny babies need their mothers.

They also need their fathers. Sorry you don't see men as real fathers and equal partners.

[Anonymous]

OP, your father lives in a 1-bedroom on 50 acres? I smell something fishy. I highly suspect you are a troll.

I don’t believe the BS that only moms have hormones and can take care of their children. Dads are perfectly equipped, and being on paternity leave will make it really easy. However, it’s nice for families to stay together unless there is an unavoidable reason for them to be apart