How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where exactly is this op living?!

New Mexico

So out of 2 million people they have less than 20K cases? Sounds like a place we should all praise for handling the pandemic.

New Mexico has done an amazing job after being dealt a terrible hand. When the outbreak occurred on the Navajo reservation, I was really worried because that area is historically very underserviced. But through a combination of mutual aid, community, and state assistance they have done a great job getting things under control. I'm not surprised to hear they have a travel quarantine -- they want to protect the work they've put in, especially from travelers from Arizona and Texas, where state and local governments ignored the virus for months and are now paying for it. I get OP's frustration, but I'm sure the quarantine will be lifted once Arizona and Texas are in a better place (barring a re-emergence of the virus in the fall/winter).

Actually, I wonder if OP is in either Arizona or Texas. That would actually explain both the severity of the restrictions where she is (many cities and counties have locked down hard in those states because the virus was out of control under their "reopening" plans) and her weird belief that it will never end. A lot of people in the Southwest are super libertarian and suspicious of government actions and have a hard to time accepting collective action as a solution to collective problems. See also: guns, helmet laws, seatbelt laws, etc. (I grew up in Colorado and New Mexico and have a ton of family in Texas, so I know of what I speak)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you grew up with drama ocd queens like op?

New normal. Say it with me. It means permanent.

Do you think that scientists have just decided not to produce a vaccine? Because I really can't fathom where your fatalism is coming from. Nobody I know who's actually tapped into biomedical research is particularly pessimistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

Um, why on earth do you think your 6 y.o. will never do these things again?!

Say it with me now: new normal.

You’re really saying is that the new normal will never be seeing grandparents again? Or hugging? Or school?

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you had EMDR, but what you need now is a triple-shot venti dose of CBT. Any good CBT therapist will be able to help you identify and process your distorted cognitions, which are many.

Please, please don't tell your child any of this. She doesn't need or deserve the burden. Be honest -- say "We don't know when things will go back to how they were before. But we'll all stick together and get through this." No lies about when it's going to be over. You don't know. AND THAT'S OKAY. You know that human beings have survived worse, and that this will be over someday.

Not more than 18 months, if you don't think scientists are lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen, at some point people are just going to start ignoring the “new normal” and just revert back to our “old normal”. Yes, people will get sick and some will die, but eventually we’ll reach herd immunity and things will be back to normal. Many people will not allow this to become a long term way of life, no way.

Well, I’m in the camp of hoping it just goes away on its own. I have no faith in a longterm vaccine, because research is showing no antibodies after out 2-3 months. IF there is a vaccine that actually works, I look for people to need boosters every 1-2 months, and there’s no way for supply to keep up with demand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you grew up with drama ocd queens like op?

New normal. Say it with me. It means permanent.

Are there people who seriously believe we’ll never be able to take international trips or go out in public without a mask EVER again? This is crazy talk to me. I am taking COVID seriously (keeping kids home, teleworking, wearing a mask to the store, etc.), but I totally anticipate life going back to normal by the end of next year (at least in gradual stages).

There are some promising vaccine trials out there and even if we can’t make a vaccine, we’re making advancements in treatments (e.g. an antibody cocktail). The roaring 20s happened after the 1918 flu pandemic. Like 1/3 of the world died due to the bubonic plague and life continued on.

Please OP, don’t tell your kid life will never be normal again.

[Anonymous]

So op, it sounds like you move to DC area from New Mexico? Recently, last year or so? All of this sounds as you not making friends, being on internet day and night, and transferring what your thought would be a great summer back home to see your parents and be somewhere you are more comfortable with to your dd. You still haven't made your friends here, you are lonely, and you don't have a support group. This virus and not being able to travel kind of broke the camel's back? Am I right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen, at some point people are just going to start ignoring the “new normal” and just revert back to our “old normal”. Yes, people will get sick and some will die, but eventually we’ll reach herd immunity and things will be back to normal. Many people will not allow this to become a long term way of life, no way.

Well, I’m in the camp of hoping it just goes away on its own. I have no faith in a longterm vaccine, because research is showing no antibodies after out 2-3 months. IF there is a vaccine that actually works, I look for people to need boosters every 1-2 months, and there’s no way for supply to keep up with demand.

That is not how this works. Stop with the stupidity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

I'm not sure why you think things will never go back to normal. 1-2 years from now your child will be able to do all the things you list, sooner for some. Do you seriously think your child will never see her grandparents or attend school again in her life??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen, at some point people are just going to start ignoring the “new normal” and just revert back to our “old normal”. Yes, people will get sick and some will die, but eventually we’ll reach herd immunity and things will be back to normal. Many people will not allow this to become a long term way of life, no way.

Well, I’m in the camp of hoping it just goes away on its own. I have no faith in a longterm vaccine, because research is showing no antibodies after out 2-3 months. IF there is a vaccine that actually works, I look for people to need boosters every 1-2 months, and there’s no way for supply to keep up with demand.

Slow down, cowboy. No continuous antibodies doesn't equal no vaccine. T cell immunity is a thing. My friends in the industry seem pretty sure that it won't be a permanent vaccine, like polio, but that there will be a decent seasonal COVID vaccine, like flu. That's all we'll need to make life a lot more normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are resilient and will deal with it, just like we will.

+1 While hard, sometimes, I think, we don't give kids enough credit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It won’t ever go back? Are you this dramatic in real life? Life will eventually go back to normal. That’s how you explain it.

It's going to be a long eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen, at some point people are just going to start ignoring the “new normal” and just revert back to our “old normal”. Yes, people will get sick and some will die, but eventually we’ll reach herd immunity and things will be back to normal. Many people will not allow this to become a long term way of life, no way.

Well, I’m in the camp of hoping it just goes away on its own. I have no faith in a longterm vaccine, because research is showing no antibodies after out 2-3 months. IF there is a vaccine that actually works, I look for people to need boosters every 1-2 months, and there’s no way for supply to keep up with demand.

That is not how this works. Stop with the stupidity.

+1. Goes away on it's own? I just can't ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you grew up with drama ocd queens like op?

New normal. Say it with me. It means permanent.

No, it does not! "Normal" and "permanent" are two different words with different meanings, OP. Perhaps your poor grasp of English is part of the problem here.

Many "normal" things are not permanent. Having no front teeth when you are a kid is a new normal, but it isn't permanent. Forming a chrysalis is a new normal for a larva, but it isn't permanent.

You say your kid will never be able to attend school or travel, etc. I teach in a European country that reopened schools in early May, and we teachers are going back in two weeks for in-service, followed by all kids coming back again and school starting as normal (with some extra care and attention to hand washing and sanitizing, spacing, etc). So I am SURE that your child's school will also reopen, it will just take a little longer because your president is incompetent.

Also, I have multiple friends and colleagues who recently traveled for holidays in this country or neighboring countries, and they did this by plane and car. People are traveling. Again, this will happen for you and your child, just a bit later than us because your president is incompetent. But it will happen.

We still wear masks in shops, but I had the loveliest dinner tonight in the city centre, sitting outside at a table with some friends. We don't have to wear masks outside, and there were many other people enjoying dinner, drinks, walks, etc. It was fine. It will happen for you.

Calm down. I promise this will pass. It might take some time, but it will.

OP, we aren't the first generation to experience a pandemic. We won't be the last. This won't be permanent.

Do NOT tell your daughter life as she knows it is over.

[Anonymous]

I will tell my child everything will suck going forward. Nothing will be as fun anymore, the heat will be incessant, and we will live in our houses or a pod if we are lucky. And I will note that’s pretty much been the case since the 80s ended.