Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads, I really wonder whether it's the kids who are not "ready" to start school or whether it's that the parents aren't ready to send the kids. Some of the examples given as reasons for redshirting are ridiculous - sports, camp, dealing with mean girls, worries about whether 10 years down the road she'll be able to handle high school boys. If you think being the youngest is going to be a challenge for your kid - so what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Why not help your kid rise to the occasion by giving them skills to handle different kinds of environments?

And guess what? Your kids will be just fine even if they're the last ones in their friend group to get their driver's license, or they start high school at age 14, or they don't turn 18 until just before starting college.

DP. I sent my September birthday DS on time, as did several of my friends. Others held their August/September birthday DCs back a year.

All of the on-time kids struggled, including mine, for years. All of the held-back kids did not struggle, in K or 1st or 2nd.

You can laugh off kindergarten if you like. From firsthand experience, I now know that it's developmentally inappropriate.

Your child is 5. They are not immature. They are age appropriate for 5.

I think this is a faulty conclusion based on what you've presented. What do you mean by "struggled?" That they had to work really hard? That things didn't come easy to them? Being challenged is not a bad thing in and of itself.

Not pp, but for me “struggled”=Lots of crying, meltdowns, behavior problems, getting in trouble with teacher/being disliked by teacher, not wanting to do schoolwork, “hating school,” no friendships. I mean, could it all strengthen his character in the long run? Maybe. But it isn’t just “having to work really hard” on an academic sense.

This was my experience with my immature 5 yo. She went from a perfectly happy kid in August to one giant melt down once K started. It's February and she's still "adjusting." She's also reading level J. The hard part isn't academics at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads, I really wonder whether it's the kids who are not "ready" to start school or whether it's that the parents aren't ready to send the kids. Some of the examples given as reasons for redshirting are ridiculous - sports, camp, dealing with mean girls, worries about whether 10 years down the road she'll be able to handle high school boys. If you think being the youngest is going to be a challenge for your kid - so what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Why not help your kid rise to the occasion by giving them skills to handle different kinds of environments?

And guess what? Your kids will be just fine even if they're the last ones in their friend group to get their driver's license, or they start high school at age 14, or they don't turn 18 until just before starting college.

DP. I sent my September birthday DS on time, as did several of my friends. Others held their August/September birthday DCs back a year.

All of the on-time kids struggled, including mine, for years. All of the held-back kids did not struggle, in K or 1st or 2nd.

You can laugh off kindergarten if you like. From firsthand experience, I now know that it's developmentally inappropriate.

I think this is a faulty conclusion based on what you've presented. What do you mean by "struggled?" That they had to work really hard? That things didn't come easy to them? Being challenged is not a bad thing in and of itself.

Not pp, but for me “struggled”=Lots of crying, meltdowns, behavior problems, getting in trouble with teacher/being disliked by teacher, not wanting to do schoolwork, “hating school,” no friendships. I mean, could it all strengthen his character in the long run? Maybe. But it isn’t just “having to work really hard” on an academic sense.

This was my experience with my immature 5 yo. She went from a perfectly happy kid in August to one giant melt down once K started. It's February and she's still "adjusting." She's also reading level J. The hard part isn't academics at all.

That sounds like a lot. One thing I don't understand, though, is why parents often seem to jump to redshirting as a panacea for these things. If really having a hard time sitting still or getting in trouble in class, I'd be thinking about having the child evaluated for ADHD* etc. down the road. If anxiety, I'd look into treatment for the anxiety, since an early anxiety disorder won't necessarily resolve just by holding a kid back. If your child is really struggling, why not investigate other possible causes? Why assume redshirting would have "fixed" the problems your child is experiencing?

*One concern I have about the studies that have shown higher rates of ADHD being diagnosed in younger kids is possible *under* diagnosis in older kids. It seems like more false negatives among the older kids is just as likely as false positives of ADHD among the younger kids. If your kid is older, they may be able to compensate for their attentional/behavioral problems, and hide them better than younger kids, therefore teachers miss the diagnosis. Just some thoughts.

We do both. Why would you assume we don’t? At age 5 or 6 a lot of diagnoses are still being teased out—there are rarely “panaceas” (unfortunately). Also, teachers don’t diagnose ADHD. It doesn’t sound like you have much experience with it.

I have a kid with adhd and I think the PP is right. Where does PP say a teacher would diagnose adhd? I don’t see that.

In the paragraph at the end that doesn’t make much sense to me: that older kids are under diagnosed because “teachers miss the diagnosis”

PP here, and I mispoke by "miss the diagnosis." I was rushing between mtgs and meant to indicate that it's possible that the teachers may not notice the symptoms if the child is older for the grade and thus able to compensate somewhat, since older kids may have a longer attention span, fewer wiggles, etc.--a kid struggling with these symptoms may still look comparatively normal if compared to younger kids in the same grade, if that makes sense. One of the diagnostic requirements for ADHD is that it be present in two or more settings--often one of them is school for school-aged kids, hence my mention of teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

Right!? The NERVE of people responding to a public post asking if you did it or if you did not, how did it go!? And sharing experiences!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

People aren't rabidly pro-redshirting. What they are want, at most, is a proocess where there aren't rigid cutoffs and there is greater parental discretion. It's the anti-redshirts that are rabid on DCUM, all without any real evidence to back their positions.

I didn't redshirt. But I find the topic interesting, and follow the discussions, such as they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

People aren't rabidly pro-redshirting. What they are want, at most, is a proocess where there aren't rigid cutoffs and there is greater parental discretion. It's the anti-redshirts that are rabid on DCUM, all without any real evidence to back their positions.

I didn't redshirt. But I find the topic interesting, and follow the discussions, such as they are.

There are no rabid pro redshirters bc the red-shirting parents don’t want everyone to redshirt. Then they’d be in the same boat as if they didn’t redshirt their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

People aren't rabidly pro-redshirting. What they are want, at most, is a proocess where there aren't rigid cutoffs and there is greater parental discretion. It's the anti-redshirts that are rabid on DCUM, all without any real evidence to back their positions.

I didn't redshirt. But I find the topic interesting, and follow the discussions, such as they are.

What you’ve written isn’t true, at least in this thread, about “anti-redshirters.” I don’t know how these threads have gone in earlier iterations. You’ve written what, a dozen posts shrieking about imagined hypocrisy. Strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

Right!? The NERVE of people responding to a public post asking if you did it or if you did not, how did it go!? And sharing experiences!?

How many of the redshirt-haters have August girls though?

A-holes probably don't even have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the youngest kid in my class year, born the day before cutoff. I’m glad I wasn’t held back in kindergarten but wish I had taken a gap year before college. That wasn’t really a thing back then though.

Not as popular but people did it back in the 1990s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

Actually it’s the opposite. Your lack of faith in your kid’s ability means my six-year-old is in class with your eight-year-old. Believe me the second graders are absolutely talking about the kids who are “way too old.”

[Anonymous]

Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

It's really only the anti-redshirt posters who fall into that bucket. Though they do tend to pitch a fit when their hypocrisy is observed and commented on.

“I didn’t redshirt, though.”

It’s so odd for anyone in general to be rabidly pro redshirting. One of my BFFs has a child who is the literal youngest in an insanely competitive school. And they didn’t opt for it. There are other ways to go about life.

People aren't rabidly pro-redshirting. What they are want, at most, is a proocess where there aren't rigid cutoffs and there is greater parental discretion. It's the anti-redshirts that are rabid on DCUM, all without any real evidence to back their positions.

I didn't redshirt. But I find the topic interesting, and follow the discussions, such as they are.

What you’ve written isn’t true, at least in this thread, about “anti-redshirters.” I don’t know how these threads have gone in earlier iterations. You’ve written what, a dozen posts shrieking about imagined hypocrisy. Strange.

It's true. You just don't like that fact, so would prefer to elide the truth. Multiple posters have talked about the hypocrisy of the anti-redshirters on DCUM.

What I see in these threads -- and I've read a lot of them, though don't usually participate -- is that the anti-redshirt posters tend to come across as highly irrational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your August girl is going to feel really stupid in middle school when the girls with her same birthday are a year ahead. Be careful.

Curious why you think that—I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence that younger kids stay behind for long.

Anecdotal, but I was an Oct. bday, so pretty young. I can’t think of any way being younger affected me negatively. I had friends, was in G&T, scored well on standardized tests/SATs, etc. Why would I assume my Sept. bday child would fare poorly when I didn’t? She started on time and is doing well several years in?

I think the person you’re quoting meant the girl will feel dumb if she’s held back and there are kids with her same bday a grade ahead