Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads, I really wonder whether it's the kids who are not "ready" to start school or whether it's that the parents aren't ready to send the kids. Some of the examples given as reasons for redshirting are ridiculous - sports, camp, dealing with mean girls, worries about whether 10 years down the road she'll be able to handle high school boys. If you think being the youngest is going to be a challenge for your kid - so what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Why not help your kid rise to the occasion by giving them skills to handle different kinds of environments?

And guess what? Your kids will be just fine even if they're the last ones in their friend group to get their driver's license, or they start high school at age 14, or they don't turn 18 until just before starting college.

DP. I sent my September birthday DS on time, as did several of my friends. Others held their August/September birthday DCs back a year.

All of the on-time kids struggled, including mine, for years. All of the held-back kids did not struggle, in K or 1st or 2nd.

You can laugh off kindergarten if you like. From firsthand experience, I now know that it's developmentally inappropriate.

I think this is a faulty conclusion based on what you've presented. What do you mean by "struggled?" That they had to work really hard? That things didn't come easy to them? Being challenged is not a bad thing in and of itself.

Not pp, but for me “struggled”=Lots of crying, meltdowns, behavior problems, getting in trouble with teacher/being disliked by teacher, not wanting to do schoolwork, “hating school,” no friendships. I mean, could it all strengthen his character in the long run? Maybe. But it isn’t just “having to work really hard” on an academic sense.

This was my experience with my immature 5 yo. She went from a perfectly happy kid in August to one giant melt down once K started. It's February and she's still "adjusting." She's also reading level J. The hard part isn't academics at all.

That sounds like a lot. One thing I don't understand, though, is why parents often seem to jump to redshirting as a panacea for these things. If really having a hard time sitting still or getting in trouble in class, I'd be thinking about having the child evaluated for ADHD* etc. down the road. If anxiety, I'd look into treatment for the anxiety, since an early anxiety disorder won't necessarily resolve just by holding a kid back. If your child is really struggling, why not investigate other possible causes? Why assume redshirting would have "fixed" the problems your child is experiencing?

*One concern I have about the studies that have shown higher rates of ADHD being diagnosed in younger kids is possible *under* diagnosis in older kids. It seems like more false negatives among the older kids is just as likely as false positives of ADHD among the younger kids. If your kid is older, they may be able to compensate for their attentional/behavioral problems, and hide them better than younger kids, therefore teachers miss the diagnosis. Just some thoughts.

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old (turning 5 end of July) would never forgive me if I held her back when all her friends are going to kindergarten. Aren’t your kids aware of the upcoming transition? Do they not have pre-k friends?

[Anonymous]

I did not, and she will be 17 when she graduates. She is almost finished with 10th grade. She has a 3.98 unweighted GPA. I also graduated when I was 17, with an ACT score of 35. Give your kids a chance to prove themselves.

[Anonymous]

That sounds like a lot. One thing I don't understand, though, is why parents often seem to jump to redshirting as a panacea for these things. If really having a hard time sitting still or getting in trouble in class, I'd be thinking about having the child evaluated for ADHD* etc. down the road. If anxiety, I'd look into treatment for the anxiety, since an early anxiety disorder won't necessarily resolve just by holding a kid back. If your child is really struggling, why not investigate other possible causes? Why assume redshirting would have "fixed" the problems your child is experiencing? 

Because it doesn't seem to be ADHD or anxiety. Neither of those diagnoses fit the bigger picture or how the kid has functioned in other environments. It is entirely possible that a kid is acting out because of developmentally inappropriate expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4 year old (turning 5 end of July) would never forgive me if I held her back when all her friends are going to kindergarten. Aren’t your kids aware of the upcoming transition? Do they not have pre-k friends?

Yes, definitely, but in my DD’s preschool class kids are divided by semester. So for example in my DD’s class kids are born between May and October. Half or more in her class will stay another year and therefore be redshirted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads, I really wonder whether it's the kids who are not "ready" to start school or whether it's that the parents aren't ready to send the kids. Some of the examples given as reasons for redshirting are ridiculous - sports, camp, dealing with mean girls, worries about whether 10 years down the road she'll be able to handle high school boys. If you think being the youngest is going to be a challenge for your kid - so what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Why not help your kid rise to the occasion by giving them skills to handle different kinds of environments?

And guess what? Your kids will be just fine even if they're the last ones in their friend group to get their driver's license, or they start high school at age 14, or they don't turn 18 until just before starting college.

DP. I sent my September birthday DS on time, as did several of my friends. Others held their August/September birthday DCs back a year.

All of the on-time kids struggled, including mine, for years. All of the held-back kids did not struggle, in K or 1st or 2nd.

You can laugh off kindergarten if you like. From firsthand experience, I now know that it's developmentally inappropriate.

I think this is a faulty conclusion based on what you've presented. What do you mean by "struggled?" That they had to work really hard? That things didn't come easy to them? Being challenged is not a bad thing in and of itself.

Not pp, but for me “struggled”=Lots of crying, meltdowns, behavior problems, getting in trouble with teacher/being disliked by teacher, not wanting to do schoolwork, “hating school,” no friendships. I mean, could it all strengthen his character in the long run? Maybe. But it isn’t just “having to work really hard” on an academic sense.

This was my experience with my immature 5 yo. She went from a perfectly happy kid in August to one giant melt down once K started. It's February and she's still "adjusting." She's also reading level J. The hard part isn't academics at all.

That sounds like a lot. One thing I don't understand, though, is why parents often seem to jump to redshirting as a panacea for these things. If really having a hard time sitting still or getting in trouble in class, I'd be thinking about having the child evaluated for ADHD* etc. down the road. If anxiety, I'd look into treatment for the anxiety, since an early anxiety disorder won't necessarily resolve just by holding a kid back. If your child is really struggling, why not investigate other possible causes? Why assume redshirting would have "fixed" the problems your child is experiencing?

*One concern I have about the studies that have shown higher rates of ADHD being diagnosed in younger kids is possible *under* diagnosis in older kids. It seems like more false negatives among the older kids is just as likely as false positives of ADHD among the younger kids. If your kid is older, they may be able to compensate for their attentional/behavioral problems, and hide them better than younger kids, therefore teachers miss the diagnosis. Just some thoughts.

We do both. Why would you assume we don’t? At age 5 or 6 a lot of diagnoses are still being teased out—there are rarely “panaceas” (unfortunately). Also, teachers don’t diagnose ADHD. It doesn’t sound like you have much experience with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Many have said if she were a boy, it would be a more clear cut decision to redshirt because of the very late birthday. Wondering why we are more hesitant to give this advantage to girls.

I'm the PP who said it was unbelievable. I have 3 kids, including 2 boys with September bdays, and our kids start school on schedule.

Unless there's a documented LD/SN, parents should not just decide that they will keep their kids home for another year so they're bigger faster stronger than the other kids. And even in the case of a LD/SN, sometimes they'd STILL be better off starting school on schedule so they can get the support they need.

In no other country is there this obsession with making sure your kid gets every possible advantage over every other kid, even if you need to cheat the system to get it. It's sad.

Funny that DCUM seems to be such a 'blue' place, and yet there's such an obsession with redshirting. I don't get it.

Agree with ALL of this. Pretty soon, Kindergarteners are going to be starting at 7. and then 8. Side note- I have an August birthday, was one of the youngest and I lived to tell the tale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads, I really wonder whether it's the kids who are not "ready" to start school or whether it's that the parents aren't ready to send the kids. Some of the examples given as reasons for redshirting are ridiculous - sports, camp, dealing with mean girls, worries about whether 10 years down the road she'll be able to handle high school boys. If you think being the youngest is going to be a challenge for your kid - so what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Why not help your kid rise to the occasion by giving them skills to handle different kinds of environments?

And guess what? Your kids will be just fine even if they're the last ones in their friend group to get their driver's license, or they start high school at age 14, or they don't turn 18 until just before starting college.

DP. I sent my September birthday DS on time, as did several of my friends. Others held their August/September birthday DCs back a year.

All of the on-time kids struggled, including mine, for years. All of the held-back kids did not struggle, in K or 1st or 2nd.

You can laugh off kindergarten if you like. From firsthand experience, I now know that it's developmentally inappropriate.

I think this is a faulty conclusion based on what you've presented. What do you mean by "struggled?" That they had to work really hard? That things didn't come easy to them? Being challenged is not a bad thing in and of itself.

Not pp, but for me “struggled”=Lots of crying, meltdowns, behavior problems, getting in trouble with teacher/being disliked by teacher, not wanting to do schoolwork, “hating school,” no friendships. I mean, could it all strengthen his character in the long run? Maybe. But it isn’t just “having to work really hard” on an academic sense.

This was my experience with my immature 5 yo. She went from a perfectly happy kid in August to one giant melt down once K started. It's February and she's still "adjusting." She's also reading level J. The hard part isn't academics at all.

That sounds like a lot. One thing I don't understand, though, is why parents often seem to jump to redshirting as a panacea for these things. If really having a hard time sitting still or getting in trouble in class, I'd be thinking about having the child evaluated for ADHD* etc. down the road. If anxiety, I'd look into treatment for the anxiety, since an early anxiety disorder won't necessarily resolve just by holding a kid back. If your child is really struggling, why not investigate other possible causes? Why assume redshirting would have "fixed" the problems your child is experiencing?

*One concern I have about the studies that have shown higher rates of ADHD being diagnosed in younger kids is possible *under* diagnosis in older kids. It seems like more false negatives among the older kids is just as likely as false positives of ADHD among the younger kids. If your kid is older, they may be able to compensate for their attentional/behavioral problems, and hide them better than younger kids, therefore teachers miss the diagnosis. Just some thoughts.

We do both. Why would you assume we don’t? At age 5 or 6 a lot of diagnoses are still being teased out—there are rarely “panaceas” (unfortunately). Also, teachers don’t diagnose ADHD. It doesn’t sound like you have much experience with it.

I have a kid with adhd and I think the PP is right. Where does PP say a teacher would diagnose adhd? I don’t see that.

[Anonymous]

I was the youngest kid in my class year, born the day before cutoff. I’m glad I wasn’t held back in kindergarten but wish I had taken a gap year before college. That wasn’t really a thing back then though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads, I really wonder whether it's the kids who are not "ready" to start school or whether it's that the parents aren't ready to send the kids. Some of the examples given as reasons for redshirting are ridiculous - sports, camp, dealing with mean girls, worries about whether 10 years down the road she'll be able to handle high school boys. If you think being the youngest is going to be a challenge for your kid - so what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Why not help your kid rise to the occasion by giving them skills to handle different kinds of environments?

And guess what? Your kids will be just fine even if they're the last ones in their friend group to get their driver's license, or they start high school at age 14, or they don't turn 18 until just before starting college.

DP. I sent my September birthday DS on time, as did several of my friends. Others held their August/September birthday DCs back a year.

All of the on-time kids struggled, including mine, for years. All of the held-back kids did not struggle, in K or 1st or 2nd.

You can laugh off kindergarten if you like. From firsthand experience, I now know that it's developmentally inappropriate.

I think this is a faulty conclusion based on what you've presented. What do you mean by "struggled?" That they had to work really hard? That things didn't come easy to them? Being challenged is not a bad thing in and of itself.

Not pp, but for me “struggled”=Lots of crying, meltdowns, behavior problems, getting in trouble with teacher/being disliked by teacher, not wanting to do schoolwork, “hating school,” no friendships. I mean, could it all strengthen his character in the long run? Maybe. But it isn’t just “having to work really hard” on an academic sense.

This was my experience with my immature 5 yo. She went from a perfectly happy kid in August to one giant melt down once K started. It's February and she's still "adjusting." She's also reading level J. The hard part isn't academics at all.

That sounds like a lot. One thing I don't understand, though, is why parents often seem to jump to redshirting as a panacea for these things. If really having a hard time sitting still or getting in trouble in class, I'd be thinking about having the child evaluated for ADHD* etc. down the road. If anxiety, I'd look into treatment for the anxiety, since an early anxiety disorder won't necessarily resolve just by holding a kid back. If your child is really struggling, why not investigate other possible causes? Why assume redshirting would have "fixed" the problems your child is experiencing?

*One concern I have about the studies that have shown higher rates of ADHD being diagnosed in younger kids is possible *under* diagnosis in older kids. It seems like more false negatives among the older kids is just as likely as false positives of ADHD among the younger kids. If your kid is older, they may be able to compensate for their attentional/behavioral problems, and hide them better than younger kids, therefore teachers miss the diagnosis. Just some thoughts.

We do both. Why would you assume we don’t? At age 5 or 6 a lot of diagnoses are still being teased out—there are rarely “panaceas” (unfortunately). Also, teachers don’t diagnose ADHD. It doesn’t sound like you have much experience with it.

I have a kid with adhd and I think the PP is right. Where does PP say a teacher would diagnose adhd? I don’t see that.

In the paragraph at the end that doesn’t make much sense to me: that older kids are under diagnosed because “teachers miss the diagnosis”

[Anonymous]

My husband was an October birthday but where he lived when starting school had December cutoff so he went "on time", then he moved to MCPS where he was young for the grade- and as a boy no less- THE HORROR. He had some literal growing pains when he was a late bloomer, but overall he made it to a very competitive college and law school, got top grades and is a fully functioning adult. Crazy, I know. But I do wonder if he was an Oct birthday these days with other redshirted Summer or even Spring boys because it's much more prevalent now, if it would've been harder for him than 20 years ago.

My DD is right before the cut off and we plan to send her to PK3 this fall "on time"- obviously we still have some time to sort out any issues she may or may not show before K, but she's already getting bored/becoming the oldest in some of her current activities and is so excited for school. She also really prefers playing with bigger kids, despite having a younger kid in her nanny share, so I think she'll do great. You have to do what's best for your kid. I do wish overall that schools in this area had a more universal cut off date since a few miles can make such a big difference and if states would start regulating this a bit more to keep people from just doing it as an academic/athletic advantage. And I do think the expectations of K have drastically changed. I went half day and we learned letter people and played. There were no desks. And we had nap time... FOR HALF DAY. And guess what- I'm also a fully functioning adult. Most days.

[Anonymous]

16:46 thanks sorry I missed that!

[Anonymous]

Omg, another epic post where people weigh in with vehement opinions on other people’s lives.
So pathetic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That sounds like a lot. One thing I don't understand, though, is why parents often seem to jump to redshirting as a panacea for these things. If really having a hard time sitting still or getting in trouble in class, I'd be thinking about having the child evaluated for ADHD* etc. down the road. If anxiety, I'd look into treatment for the anxiety, since an early anxiety disorder won't necessarily resolve just by holding a kid back. If your child is really struggling, why not investigate other possible causes? Why assume redshirting would have "fixed" the problems your child is experiencing? 

Because it doesn't seem to be ADHD or anxiety. Neither of those diagnoses fit the bigger picture or how the kid has functioned in other environments. It is entirely possible that a kid is acting out because of developmentally inappropriate expectations.

Expectations are reasonable but kids are often not prepared and teacher are not particularly engaging. If you don't think K is appropriate, don't send your kid. ADHD is way over diagnosed as its easier to drug the kids than work with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these threads, I really wonder whether it's the kids who are not "ready" to start school or whether it's that the parents aren't ready to send the kids. Some of the examples given as reasons for redshirting are ridiculous - sports, camp, dealing with mean girls, worries about whether 10 years down the road she'll be able to handle high school boys. If you think being the youngest is going to be a challenge for your kid - so what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Why not help your kid rise to the occasion by giving them skills to handle different kinds of environments?

And guess what? Your kids will be just fine even if they're the last ones in their friend group to get their driver's license, or they start high school at age 14, or they don't turn 18 until just before starting college.

DP. I sent my September birthday DS on time, as did several of my friends. Others held their August/September birthday DCs back a year.

All of the on-time kids struggled, including mine, for years. All of the held-back kids did not struggle, in K or 1st or 2nd.

You can laugh off kindergarten if you like. From firsthand experience, I now know that it's developmentally inappropriate.

I think this is a faulty conclusion based on what you've presented. What do you mean by "struggled?" That they had to work really hard? That things didn't come easy to them? Being challenged is not a bad thing in and of itself.

Not pp, but for me “struggled”=Lots of crying, meltdowns, behavior problems, getting in trouble with teacher/being disliked by teacher, not wanting to do schoolwork, “hating school,” no friendships. I mean, could it all strengthen his character in the long run? Maybe. But it isn’t just “having to work really hard” on an academic sense.

This was my experience with my immature 5 yo. She went from a perfectly happy kid in August to one giant melt down once K started. It's February and she's still "adjusting." She's also reading level J. The hard part isn't academics at all.

That sounds like a lot. One thing I don't understand, though, is why parents often seem to jump to redshirting as a panacea for these things. If really having a hard time sitting still or getting in trouble in class, I'd be thinking about having the child evaluated for ADHD* etc. down the road. If anxiety, I'd look into treatment for the anxiety, since an early anxiety disorder won't necessarily resolve just by holding a kid back. If your child is really struggling, why not investigate other possible causes? Why assume redshirting would have "fixed" the problems your child is experiencing?

*One concern I have about the studies that have shown higher rates of ADHD being diagnosed in younger kids is possible *under* diagnosis in older kids. It seems like more false negatives among the older kids is just as likely as false positives of ADHD among the younger kids. If your kid is older, they may be able to compensate for their attentional/behavioral problems, and hide them better than younger kids, therefore teachers miss the diagnosis. Just some thoughts.

We do both. Why would you assume we don’t? At age 5 or 6 a lot of diagnoses are still being teased out—there are rarely “panaceas” (unfortunately). Also, teachers don’t diagnose ADHD. It doesn’t sound like you have much experience with it.

I have a kid with adhd and I think the PP is right. Where does PP say a teacher would diagnose adhd? I don’t see that.

Teachers cannot diagnose but any time they don't feel like dealing with a kid, they suggest ADHD and medication. Seen it happen many times.