How many people on this forum (50+) with kids in elementary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 with kids 19, 17, and 9. We are on the older end for 4th grade parents in our youngest's school, but there are a significant number who are older than us.

I know this is an old thread but am curious (if you don't mind sharing of course), was your youngest from a different marriage, unplanned, or did you decide to go for #3 when the other two were older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 43 with a 3- and a 6-year old. I love my kids and being a mom and am contemplating one more baby. I come from a line of women with strong and long fertility. Oh, and I live in New York City where almost all of my friends had at least one child in their late 30s or early 40s, some in their mid 40s. There is a single mom at my older child's school with 3 kids: one she gave birth to herself at age 52, and the other two were twins via a surrogate when she was 55. She is 70 now and has 3 high school kids, and she looks amazing (although I should point out that she is well off and probably has a lot of help).

That’s sad. My parents were very healthy 70+ year olds in my late 40s (not when I was in HS!!). Age 70 to 80 is very different. These kids are going to be in college and struggling with elder care issues that people usually don’t deal with until their 40s and beyond. Not to mention never having their grandparents around.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This is my longest-running thread ever. Here's a further thought for discussion. I'm old but I also take very good care of myself (work out regularly don't eat junk etc). When I see younger families with obese parents I often think that that extra 100 pounds will take their toll before the decade I spent on my Phd does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 with kids 19, 17, and 9. We are on the older end for 4th grade parents in our youngest's school, but there are a significant number who are older than us.

I know this is an old thread but am curious (if you don't mind sharing of course), was your youngest from a different marriage, unplanned, or did you decide to go for #3 when the other two were older?

I assume I wrote that given the ages. All three kids from the same marriage and all planned. The day our eldest turned 9, I woke up to find my DH in tears, which completely freaked me out. Turned out he was fine, just deeply sad because half of our time with DD at home was over and he hated the idea that our time with kids was going by so quickly. He’d always wanted a third, and over the next couple months convinced me that we should TTC for one month, and let the fates decide if we should have a third. I consented in part because I figured the odds of getting pregnant at 39 in one month of trying were tiny. And here we are!

I’m really glad he persuaded me. We were not at all ready for the empty nest when DS1 left for college in the fall, and kid 3 is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 43 with a 3- and a 6-year old. I love my kids and being a mom and am contemplating one more baby. I come from a line of women with strong and long fertility. Oh, and I live in New York City where almost all of my friends had at least one child in their late 30s or early 40s, some in their mid 40s. There is a single mom at my older child's school with 3 kids: one she gave birth to herself at age 52, and the other two were twins via a surrogate when she was 55. She is 70 now and has 3 high school kids, and she looks amazing (although I should point out that she is well off and probably has a lot of help).

That’s sad. My parents were very healthy 70+ year olds in my late 40s (not when I was in HS!!). Age 70 to 80 is very different. These kids are going to be in college and struggling with elder care issues that people usually don’t deal with until their 40s and beyond. Not to mention never having their grandparents around.

+1
It's not fair to the kids. I have a friend who is an only child who dropped out of her PhD program to become a full-time caregiver for her elderly dad. She received her Masters, but her career plans were totally derailed in her field.

[Anonymous]

I am 58 youngest is 13. Wife is 56.

Also have a 17 and 19 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is my longest-running thread ever. Here's a further thought for discussion. I'm old but I also take very good care of myself (work out regularly don't eat junk etc). When I see younger families with obese parents I often think that that extra 100 pounds will take their toll before the decade I spent on my Phd does.

Don't be so smug, OP. My husband's thin and otherwise healthy grandma got early onset dementia. She spent decades in facilities, didn't know what time of day it was or who was who. It was horrible to watch. When she died of heart failure in her 90s it was a blessing. You are not immune to geriatric diseases (or death) just because you're not obese.

[Anonymous]

I am 40 with a 2 and 4 year old, and I'm around the average age of moms at my son's preschool. One of the other moms is 47 and she just had her second baby. I wish her well, but I would never want to trade places with her! The 10 year jump from 37 to 47 seems more significant than the jump from 27 to 37.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 with a 2 and 4 year old, and I'm around the average age of moms at my son's preschool. One of the other moms is 47 and she just had her second baby. I wish her well, but I would never want to trade places with her! The 10 year jump from 37 to 47 seems more significant than the jump from 27 to 37.

How do you know? You’re not even there yet. I’d say 17 to 27 is significant but it’s all kind of the same after that. I’m 50s with two in elementary, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is my longest-running thread ever. Here's a further thought for discussion. I'm old but I also take very good care of myself (work out regularly don't eat junk etc). When I see younger families with obese parents I often think that that extra 100 pounds will take their toll before the decade I spent on my Phd does.

Don't be so smug, OP. My husband's thin and otherwise healthy grandma got early onset dementia. She spent decades in facilities, didn't know what time of day it was or who was who. It was horrible to watch. When she died of heart failure in her 90s it was a blessing. You are not immune to geriatric diseases (or death) just because you're not obese.

I'm not being smug. I'm making myself feel better. Of course I wonder why I didn't start earlier (lots of reasons) and think about all these things now in a way I didn't when I was younger but I can't change the past so here I am.

[Anonymous]

51 with a kindergartener

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 58 youngest is 13. Wife is 56.

Also have a 17 and 19 year old

So bizarre. I'm 58 and my spouse is 59. Our "kids" are 37, 33, 31 and 29 and our grandkids are 7 and 5! That's the way it's supposed to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 with a 2 and 4 year old, and I'm around the average age of moms at my son's preschool. One of the other moms is 47 and she just had her second baby. I wish her well, but I would never want to trade places with her! The 10 year jump from 37 to 47 seems more significant than the jump from 27 to 37.

How do you know? You’re not even there yet. I’d say 17 to 27 is significant but it’s all kind of the same after that. I’m 50s with two in elementary, fwiw.

This is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 58 youngest is 13. Wife is 56.

Also have a 17 and 19 year old

So bizarre. I'm 58 and my spouse is 59. Our "kids" are 37, 33, 31 and 29 and our grandkids are 7 and 5! That's the way it's supposed to be.

Times change granny. People live longer. We were living it up in our 20s; building careers and making money; checking out potential partners; traveling. In the midst of the terrible twos or whatever other parenting crisis we are not wishing we were elsewhere because we've BTDT. I would also bet the divorce rate is dramatically less among first time marriage partners getting married in their 30s than their 20s. You're not even a real grown up at that point. First kid at 22? No how no way.

[Anonymous]

10 year old, I’m 46, and my wife is 55. Kid goes to a private school, which skews older, but I feel like the other parents are in our age range.