Uncomfortable religious situations you were forced into

[Anonymous]

We're Episcopalians, and if we have someone staying over, if I thought there was an enjoyable activity that day, I would ask the person if they wanted to attend (no proselytizing in our church). If I wasn't comfortable leaving a child I didn't know well in our home along, we'd all just skip.

However, my kids would be told that if a family went to church, they should go, sit there, and keep quiet. However, I would hope I had an idea whether the family were snake handlers or other radical bible thumpers, and if so, I wouldn't send my kid on a Saturday night sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Jewish and have spent time with Catholics and people of lots of other religions. It's mostly gone swimmingly. We used to host a Passover seder and we fell into an unintentional habit of always inviting someone who wasn't Jewish. Once it was my Italian friend in high school, once it was my brother's Indian friend in college, etc.

When I went to college, I didn't drink (not for religious reasons) and all the other girls on my floor were big partiers. The RA hated me - I think they all thought I looked down on them? But she scheduled a mandatory floor meeting at a dining hall during Yom Kippur, when I was fasting. I went to her and said due to religious reasons I wouldn't be able to attend, and she made a big deal about "You may only be a freshman but you should learn in your English 101 class what mandatory means, you're going to get in huge trouble and possibly kicked out of school if you don't show, etc."

I got so worried I went to the RA in another building - he was really cool and we'd become friendly - to talk with him about it. He laughed and was like "Come hang out with me that day. So we sat on his bed all day on Yom Kippur talking and listening to Janet Jackson. I did NOT get kicked out of school for missing the meeting and my RA never said a word about it to me.

Later, before winter break, she had a floor meeting. She called each girl's name one by one and handed each girl a Christmas card. Towards the end, she called my name. I went up, and she said, in front of everyone, "You know, I had a Jewish kid last year who I gave a Christmas card to, and she got all bent out of shape about it, so I didn't get you one so you wouldn't be offended." Everyone laughed as I sat back down.

I haven't thought of that in DECADES! Damn, she was ignorant!

That is awful. So sorry you had to experience that.

At my organization the same department has called for big important meetings on both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur despite there being several Jewish employees. If someone called a mandatory meeting on Good Friday there would be mayhem.

What organization do you work for that has that many devoutChristians that people take Good Friday off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in the southern baptist cult. It truly damaged me. My polling place is inside a southern baptist church. I feel panicky and sick every time I walk in the door. It’s like all those awful memories flood my brain. Yes, I’ve done therapy. It helped. But I still feel really sick any time I’m in an evangelical church. Religious trauma is very real.

Can you do early voting or mail in?

That’s what I do now. When we moved to Virginia, I didn’t know it was an option. It’s weird to be so affected by experiences that happened so many years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Room mother in Catholic school started speaking in tongues during a prayer circle.

That is not a Catholic thing. Are you sure she wasn't having a seizure?

Yep, not Catholic.

Charismatic Catholics speak in tongues. A friend from my parochial school was from a family that did that.

Learn something new every day! There are laity and prelatures and public juridic persons within Catholicism: SSPX, Opus Dei, Renewal Charismatics (aka CHARIS). Each takes a personal view of the religion toward the edge in varying directions, and often they are strongly at odds with one another (esp. SSPX v. CHARIS - one views the other as essentially evangelical Protestant). In the middle are the billion typical Catholics who don't recognize themselves in any of these groups. I'm a cradle Catholic and went to Catholic schools all my life including grad school, and I'd never heard of any of these until Dan Brown's novel and more recent news. In fact, it turns out that I have an Aunt who is a Charismatic Catholic, and I always thought she was a born again Christian Protestant. She does not recognize our Catholic church as the same religion as hers, but I guess it sort of is. I also met a guy who is in Opus Dei, and I do not recognize my religion in some of his beliefs at all. There is also an SSPX poster who is or used to be a regular on here who constantly tells Catholics they are not "really" Catholic. So, as with any world religion, there are many different practices under the umbrella of various denominations, and much debate among them.

[Anonymous]

Religious elementary school and a traditional ritual observance as a teen. Hated it.

I’m a religious Marxist today, it’s all opiate of the masses stuff imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to this day in your grown up skin you still feel uncomfortable about the situation ?

You need a hobby. It's not like you were tortured.

Thanks for your insightful comment. My question was to hear other's examples. As I mentioned, I just happen to be thinking about this lately and was interested in others' opinions. This a forum for discussions. Is your hobby making meaningless comments on threads you don't care about?

+1. How rude and self-righteous.

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid (Episcopalian), I visited some Catholic relatives when I was around 10 or 11 years old. They took me to church on Sunday, which was fine, similar enough to what I knew from home. Not thinking anything of it, I joined my cousins in line for communion, took communion from the priest like anyone else, and that was the end of it. When I got home and told my chill parents, they laughed because I "shouldn't" have taken communion, and for years it became this big family joke that if the Catholics in our family were right, I was going to hell for taking communion as a non-Catholic.

But that's not what was uncomfortable. What was uncomfortable was decades later, at a relaxed meal with professional colleagues, having the occasion to tell this story while the dinner conversation was on the topic of kids not understanding things. A colleague seated across from me absolutely BLEW UP at me about this. How disrespectful that was to the church, how could I treat "the host" with such contempt, how my relatives should have known better and how could they have let me, how could I not have known better, etc. It made everyone at the table beyond visibly uncomfortable.

The irony was that he himself was a VERY recent convert to Catholicism, though very devout (as converts always are). Man, what a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Jewish and was a foreign exchange student for a year stayin with 7th day Adventists. They made me go to church, kneel and do the whole thing. I lasted 2 months, before running to our program director, and asking to be moved. I was 14.

I can’t imagine a program where 14 year olds are sent on year long exchange. What country was this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid (Episcopalian), I visited some Catholic relatives when I was around 10 or 11 years old. They took me to church on Sunday, which was fine, similar enough to what I knew from home. Not thinking anything of it, I joined my cousins in line for communion, took communion from the priest like anyone else, and that was the end of it. When I got home and told my chill parents, they laughed because I "shouldn't" have taken communion, and for years it became this big family joke that if the Catholics in our family were right, I was going to hell for taking communion as a non-Catholic.

But that's not what was uncomfortable. What was uncomfortable was decades later, at a relaxed meal with professional colleagues, having the occasion to tell this story while the dinner conversation was on the topic of kids not understanding things. A colleague seated across from me absolutely BLEW UP at me about this. How disrespectful that was to the church, how could I treat "the host" with such contempt, how my relatives should have known better and how could they have let me, how could I not have known better, etc. It made everyone at the table beyond visibly uncomfortable.

The irony was that he himself was a VERY recent convert to Catholicism, though very devout (as converts always are). Man, what a jerk.

You were both wrong. He was a jerk for blowing up at you. You are a jerk for making a joke out of other people’s sincere religious beliefs that don’t affect you in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid (Episcopalian), I visited some Catholic relatives when I was around 10 or 11 years old. They took me to church on Sunday, which was fine, similar enough to what I knew from home. Not thinking anything of it, I joined my cousins in line for communion, took communion from the priest like anyone else, and that was the end of it. When I got home and told my chill parents, they laughed because I "shouldn't" have taken communion, and for years it became this big family joke that if the Catholics in our family were right, I was going to hell for taking communion as a non-Catholic.

But that's not what was uncomfortable. What was uncomfortable was decades later, at a relaxed meal with professional colleagues, having the occasion to tell this story while the dinner conversation was on the topic of kids not understanding things. A colleague seated across from me absolutely BLEW UP at me about this. How disrespectful that was to the church, how could I treat "the host" with such contempt, how my relatives should have known better and how could they have let me, how could I not have known better, etc. It made everyone at the table beyond visibly uncomfortable.

The irony was that he himself was a VERY recent convert to Catholicism, though very devout (as converts always are). Man, what a jerk.

You were both wrong. He was a jerk for blowing up at you. You are a jerk for making a joke out of other people’s sincere religious beliefs that don’t affect you in any way.

PP here. That's fair and I'll take the criticism. I don't "joke" about it the way my family did when I was a teenager, for that reason. In my defense, to have my parents reveal to me that an entire religion believed I was going to hell as a 10-year old for innocently following my cousins in what appeared to be the same kind of communion line I went to at home was something that had to be done with humor. To tell it to me at that age without humor would have been terrifying. (Of course, I would not have been the first child deeply scarred by Roman Catholicism.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Jewish and was a foreign exchange student for a year stayin with 7th day Adventists. They made me go to church, kneel and do the whole thing. I lasted 2 months, before running to our program director, and asking to be moved. I was 14.

Wow! I’m surprised you stayed so long! 2 months is a lot.

[Anonymous]

I'm traumatized by my lifelong Catholic friends who now belong to the cult of Trump.

Their heinous behaviors as cult members have me wondering what as a small child growing up in my small town I missed. UGH. Of course now as an adult I see the racism and anti semitism, but swallowing their cult member existence now tramatizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid (Episcopalian), I visited some Catholic relatives when I was around 10 or 11 years old. They took me to church on Sunday, which was fine, similar enough to what I knew from home. Not thinking anything of it, I joined my cousins in line for communion, took communion from the priest like anyone else, and that was the end of it. When I got home and told my chill parents, they laughed because I "shouldn't" have taken communion, and for years it became this big family joke that if the Catholics in our family were right, I was going to hell for taking communion as a non-Catholic.

But that's not what was uncomfortable. What was uncomfortable was decades later, at a relaxed meal with professional colleagues, having the occasion to tell this story while the dinner conversation was on the topic of kids not understanding things. A colleague seated across from me absolutely BLEW UP at me about this. How disrespectful that was to the church, how could I treat "the host" with such contempt, how my relatives should have known better and how could they have let me, how could I not have known better, etc. It made everyone at the table beyond visibly uncomfortable.

The irony was that he himself was a VERY recent convert to Catholicism, though very devout (as converts always are). Man, what a jerk.

Not ironic, converts to Catholicism are also generally strict rule followers. Otherwise, Catholicism would not appeal to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid (Episcopalian), I visited some Catholic relatives when I was around 10 or 11 years old. They took me to church on Sunday, which was fine, similar enough to what I knew from home. Not thinking anything of it, I joined my cousins in line for communion, took communion from the priest like anyone else, and that was the end of it. When I got home and told my chill parents, they laughed because I "shouldn't" have taken communion, and for years it became this big family joke that if the Catholics in our family were right, I was going to hell for taking communion as a non-Catholic.

But that's not what was uncomfortable. What was uncomfortable was decades later, at a relaxed meal with professional colleagues, having the occasion to tell this story while the dinner conversation was on the topic of kids not understanding things. A colleague seated across from me absolutely BLEW UP at me about this. How disrespectful that was to the church, how could I treat "the host" with such contempt, how my relatives should have known better and how could they have let me, how could I not have known better, etc. It made everyone at the table beyond visibly uncomfortable.

The irony was that he himself was a VERY recent convert to Catholicism, though very devout (as converts always are). Man, what a jerk.

You were both wrong. He was a jerk for blowing up at you. You are a jerk for making a joke out of other people’s sincere religious beliefs that don’t affect you in any way.

PP here. That's fair and I'll take the criticism. I don't "joke" about it the way my family did when I was a teenager, for that reason. In my defense, to have my parents reveal to me that an entire religion believed I was going to hell as a 10-year old for innocently following my cousins in what appeared to be the same kind of communion line I went to at home was something that had to be done with humor. To tell it to me at that age without humor would have been terrifying. (Of course, I would not have been the first child deeply scarred by Roman Catholicism.)

Great job pretending to apologize and then launching another insult at the end. How very ecumenical of you. Seems to be a character trait.

Perhaps the likelihood of punishment for your mistake will depend on how you react to learning you, yes accidentally, disrespected someone’s tradition? I know if I disrespected your tradition I would actually apologize and not mock you and then pretend apologize while still insulting you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid (Episcopalian), I visited some Catholic relatives when I was around 10 or 11 years old. They took me to church on Sunday, which was fine, similar enough to what I knew from home. Not thinking anything of it, I joined my cousins in line for communion, took communion from the priest like anyone else, and that was the end of it. When I got home and told my chill parents, they laughed because I "shouldn't" have taken communion, and for years it became this big family joke that if the Catholics in our family were right, I was going to hell for taking communion as a non-Catholic.

But that's not what was uncomfortable. What was uncomfortable was decades later, at a relaxed meal with professional colleagues, having the occasion to tell this story while the dinner conversation was on the topic of kids not understanding things. A colleague seated across from me absolutely BLEW UP at me about this. How disrespectful that was to the church, how could I treat "the host" with such contempt, how my relatives should have known better and how could they have let me, how could I not have known better, etc. It made everyone at the table beyond visibly uncomfortable.

The irony was that he himself was a VERY recent convert to Catholicism, though very devout (as converts always are). Man, what a jerk.

You were both wrong. He was a jerk for blowing up at you. You are a jerk for making a joke out of other people’s sincere religious beliefs that don’t affect you in any way.

PP here. That's fair and I'll take the criticism. I don't "joke" about it the way my family did when I was a teenager, for that reason. In my defense, to have my parents reveal to me that an entire religion believed I was going to hell as a 10-year old for innocently following my cousins in what appeared to be the same kind of communion line I went to at home was something that had to be done with humor. To tell it to me at that age without humor would have been terrifying. (Of course, I would not have been the first child deeply scarred by Roman Catholicism.)

Great job pretending to apologize and then launching another insult at the end. How very ecumenical of you. Seems to be a character trait.

Perhaps the likelihood of punishment for your mistake will depend on how you react to learning you, yes accidentally, disrespected someone’s tradition? I know if I disrespected your tradition I would actually apologize and not mock you and then pretend apologize while still insulting you.

Oh, please. She didn't disrespect Catholicism by taking communion. She was a child and didn't know any better.