s/o what are AA parents teaching their kids?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think Bill Cosby isn't all wrong -- 50 yrs ago AAs fought to integrate schools. The parents in those families had respectable jobs -- they worked hard at whatever jobs they could find and emphasized the value of education to their kids. They faced discrimination and I'm sure hated it, but they accepted it and dealt with it as best they could and hoped for something better for their kids. That generation could have made more excuses -- their lives growing up were far worse; they were closer in time to their ancestors in slavery, they were still dealing with "colored" everything. Yet they chose to deal and move past.

Now a few generations later -- things are "easier." I'm not suggesting there isn't racism, but AA kids at least have access to schools. Yet across the board, AA kids are always the lowest for everything (NOT YOUR KID but across the board) -- lowest achievement, lowest HS grad rate, lowest college attendance, lowest college grad rate. They yell and scream about racism and slavery holding them back -- being several generations removed from it; their grandparents and great grandparents made more of themselves with far fewer opportunities.

And while they're complaining about what's holding them back, they have enough time and energy to pick up the thug culture. From pants half way down the ass to the language, gang signs (whether in a gang or not), and weapons.

Sorry but all the successful of AA families I know have distanced themselves from the majority of AAs out there; that is the only way to get ahead -- not bc you won't still face discrimination -- but bc you will still keep pushing forward bc you won't be pulled into the vortex of "the world is unfair, why you try -- let's just blame EVERYTHING on racism."

Very well said.

+2

Exactly!

Have successful whites distanced themselves from their poor, backwards, criminal rural relatives?

YES! Most people from other races and ethnicities have the common sense to distance themselves from the lower class and criminal elements within their families. AAs and "some" Latinos don't do it and it hurts them tremendously.

Yes. I know quite a few successful white families in DC that don't have much to do with their extended families, cousins and sometimes even parents back home in rural wherever. Often times they don't want judgment about -- oh why are you sending your kid to fancy private school or oh you think your kid is too good for Franklin Community College back home in Tenn?! They choose to live their own lives, raise kids how they want, and meet up with their families a few days a yr at Christmas or whenever. I think AAs and Latios don't do this as much -- even when family is dragging them down or stomping on or mocking their dreams. Even Obama has sad it -- a black boy reading a book is mocked for being white. Yeah that mocking may come from school, but don't kid yourself it's also coming from uncles and cousins who are making fun of him for being a geek because he aspires to be a dr. rather than an NFL star.

+1

This is unfortunately true! The crabs in the barrel mentalities are extremely pervasive in both the black and Latino communities. I work in social services and I see this all the time. It's quite disturbing. So much abuse occurs when a child is perceived as "acting white" within their household.

You're full of shit. I was an honor roll student in school and was never picked on. Neither were my friends. Neither are my children and their friends. There's a difference between being smart and being a nerd and nerds DO get picked on. That's not anything new and it's damn sure not a black only thing. In fact, aren't many of the school shootings perpetrated by whites teens about being picked on?

That's great that your community is supportive of good grades and college, but you have to admit that that is not the case for the AA community across the board. I have worked part-time office jobs as a student where the offices were predominately black -- in Philadelphia; I will say that at least 50% of the women working there mocked the idea of going to college and thought it was an unnecessary activity that doesn't "get you anything." The other 50% were diligently planning and saving so that their kids would in fact go to college. Problem is that 50% of women who didn't care about education-- mostly single moms-- likely took their attitudes home. Even if they didn't say to their sons "there is no need to go to college," kids are not stupid; they realize that when they bring home an A in science, mom shrugs. When they score a touchdown, mom brags to the whole world. They realize that if they say they want to be an engineer, mom won't be as proud as if they want to be an NBA star. And this doesn't account for all the uncles, cousins etc. who mock boys in different ways for being geeks etc.

While your personal experience may be different, the preceding was my experience. And unless Obama, Sharpton, and Bill Cosby are lying -- there is something to the whole "black boys reading a book are acting white."

And before you jump all over me arguing -- so what not every black person is the same. It is not about individual people but about community attitude. I know lots of Asian communities -- from wealthy Indian who came here with advanced degrees to poor Bangladeshi taxi drivers with no education who are trying to make ends meet. Let me tell you that in NONE of those communities is there mocking when a kid wants to be a dr. I have known poor immigrant parents who knew that there was no way they could put a kid through 4 yr college plus med school or even co sign for a loan, BUT when their kids said they wanted to be doctors -- they encouraged the hard work and straight As. Their thinking was -- if they do well in high school, maybe they'll still never get to med school but maybe it'll be good enough to be in the healthcare field somehow even if just a 2 yr program to be an ultrasound tech where they'll have a steady salary plus benefits. Across the board, AAs just don't think like that. It's much more about -- oh my baby will be the 1 out of 10 million who gets drafted to the NBA with a few million dollar contract and then we'll all live large. Again -- community attitudes -- not saying any one family is like this.

Stop pp. You worked a couple of office jobs in Philadelphia. It does not make you an expert on millions of people. I don't doubt you encountered negative attitudes in your job, but you may have had a different experience if you were working at an office in Morehouse College. In case you've never heard of it, it's an actual college that a couple of black folks happen to attend (Unbelievable huh?) But I guess it's easier to paint everyone with one brush.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Jerry Sandusky was such a stand up guy.
Blacks parents could learn a lot from guys like him.

I don't think anyone is saying that all white people are exemplary.

There is no doubt that our society and especially the judicial system is racist against blacks. I think being black in this country is hard (I am Asian). Blacks do definitely get the brunt of most of the racism around the world. Years of instituted slavery, families torn apart, not being allowed to be educated or even if you were, couldn't get a good job probably would hamper most cultures.

However, I think it is true that the black community in the US does not help itself as much as it could. I'm not saying it would be easy. How do you go about changing 200 yrs of a certain culture. But I don't see Al Sharpton and the likes shouting "we must change our culture to value education more than sports or music". It would be a good start if such leaders would indeed lead the way.

And I don't think black culture is all about violence. A lot of them do value family, going to church, etc...

IDK - this country is definitely unique because of its history with slavery. Other European countries had slavery but it was usually limited to the islands and not in the actual home country on the Continent or the UK, so its people and culture weren't as affected by slavery as the US is.

You're not looking hard enough. Sharpton has done this.

But if he has, it's not loud and frequent enough. Or it's falling a deaf ears.

Yes, but you asserted that he doesn't even do it. Now, you say it's not enough. Even more, you seem to think that what he says has some sway with black people. It doesn't. No more than you follow the words of wisdom from Rush Limbaugh.

Admittedly, I don't pay attention to what Sharpton says. He mostly sounds like an idiot to me. However, if he has no sway with black people, then who does? The athlete and the musician, I'm guessing, which goes back to my point about the lack of black leaders pushing education.

BTW - I stated I'm Asian, and I think RL is a big fat idiot, too.

Why do you seem to think that black people need a leader? As if we're all sheeple looking for someone to follow. This idea that we need people to tell us what to do is HIHGLY insulting. Can you see that? Do you look to Jackie Chan for words to live by?

np - well I think there's that one Jackie Chan meme that sums up this thread pretty well

[Anonymous]

Ahhh the joy of generalizations. Just makes it easier to understand people doesn't it? Who has time to sift thru the specifics of every individual anyway, just lump every darkie in one domain and label em all the same right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:40 you state that 50% of the black people you work with save for their children's college. The other 50% do not and do not think it is the best investment for their children. Are you telling me that 100% of white folks in America save for their children to attend college and 100% believe college is a good investment?

Whether you can save or not is obviously up to your income level -- but more than 50% of whites do think some kind of college is best for kids; I mean look at the rise of for profit universities and online colleges. I have not heard whites mock college and "book learning" the way I've heard blacks do so -- sorry -- just my experience. I'm sure I'll be told I'm wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jerry Sandusky was such a stand up guy.
Blacks parents could learn a lot from guys like him.

I don't think anyone is saying that all white people are exemplary.

There is no doubt that our society and especially the judicial system is racist against blacks. I think being black in this country is hard (I am Asian). Blacks do definitely get the brunt of most of the racism around the world. Years of instituted slavery, families torn apart, not being allowed to be educated or even if you were, couldn't get a good job probably would hamper most cultures.

However, I think it is true that the black community in the US does not help itself as much as it could. I'm not saying it would be easy. How do you go about changing 200 yrs of a certain culture. But I don't see Al Sharpton and the likes shouting "we must change our culture to value education more than sports or music". It would be a good start if such leaders would indeed lead the way.

And I don't think black culture is all about violence. A lot of them do value family, going to church, etc...

IDK - this country is definitely unique because of its history with slavery. Other European countries had slavery but it was usually limited to the islands and not in the actual home country on the Continent or the UK, so its people and culture weren't as affected by slavery as the US is.

You're not looking hard enough. Sharpton has done this.

But if he has, it's not loud and frequent enough. Or it's falling a deaf ears.

Yes, but you asserted that he doesn't even do it. Now, you say it's not enough. Even more, you seem to think that what he says has some sway with black people. It doesn't. No more than you follow the words of wisdom from Rush Limbaugh.

Admittedly, I don't pay attention to what Sharpton says. He mostly sounds like an idiot to me. However, if he has no sway with black people, then who does? The athlete and the musician, I'm guessing, which goes back to my point about the lack of black leaders pushing education.

BTW - I stated I'm Asian, and I think RL is a big fat idiot, too.

Why do you seem to think that black people need a leader? As if we're all sheeple looking for someone to follow. This idea that we need people to tell us what to do is HIHGLY insulting. Can you see that? Do you look to Jackie Chan for words to live by?

We don't need Jackie Chan as our leader cause we are doing just fine. Most minority groups have a "community leader" that speaks for the community, organizes the community, etc.. . Some may lead just the local community, but isn't that a start? You don't think having a "leader" would help your community? I'm not saying every black person is lost. Clearly that is not the case. But don't you think the black community needs to change at all? Or is it that everyone around them needs to change first? Like I said, racism is real. But how is the community helping themselves? Maybe they are and the rest of us just don't see it.

So then what do *you* think needs to happen in the black community? Maybe you are upper class, so this isn't your community. Then this doesn't really apply to you, does it.

[Anonymous]

Is anyone commenting a cultural anthropologist by any chance? I'm curious what an actual academic thinks about all this in contrast to what the ignorant fucks who worked with a couple blacks and now claim to be experts have said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:40 you state that 50% of the black people you work with save for their children's college. The other 50% do not and do not think it is the best investment for their children. Are you telling me that 100% of white folks in America save for their children to attend college and 100% believe college is a good investment?

an interesting study
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/conspicuous-consumption-and-race-who-spends-more-on-what/
Conspicuous Consumption and Race: Who Spends More on What
2008 but still worth the time to read it

To examine spending by racial groups, Roussanov and his colleagues studied data collected from 1986 to 2002 for the Consumer Expenditure Survey conducted by the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics. Blacks and Hispanics spend up to 30% more than whites of comparable income on visible goods like clothing, cars and jewelry, the researchers found. This meant that, compared to white households of similar income, the typical black and Hispanic household spent $2,300 more per year on visible items. To do that, they spent less on almost all other categories except housing, and they saved less.

Visible items are those others can see when one is in public. The researchers found that blacks and Hispanics do not spend more than whites on items, such as home furnishings, that could serve as status symbols but aren’t seen by as many people.

While Roussanov and his colleagues acknowledge that cultural preferences may play a role in these spending choices, they tested that theory by subdividing blacks, Hispanics and whites by income level and state of residence. This caused the differences in spending patterns to disappear. What really matters, Roussanov, Charles and Hurst found, is not one’s race but one’s economic situation relative to the “reference group” — people in the immediate community. “This is not really about race in the end. It is simply about what we observe about you and what peer group you belong to,” Roussanov says.

Poor blacks and poor whites both spend more on visible goods if they live in poor communities, because such spending gives them more status relative to others in the community. But poor blacks and poor whites living among wealthier people do not devote extra portions of income to visible expenditures, since they are too far behind to get more status from the extra spending they can afford. Moreover, the very fact of belonging to a particular group provides observers with information about one’s likely income (e.g. blacks are on average poorer than whites).


A low-income white person in Alabama, for example, is likely to spend more on visible goods than a low-income white person in Massachusetts. That’s because white people are generally poorer in Alabama; in wealthy Massachusetts, spending more on visible goods is a waste of money, since it does not boost one’s status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:40 you state that 50% of the black people you work with save for their children's college. The other 50% do not and do not think it is the best investment for their children. Are you telling me that 100% of white folks in America save for their children to attend college and 100% believe college is a good investment?

Whether you can save or not is obviously up to your income level -- but more than 50% of whites do think some kind of college is best for kids; I mean look at the rise of for profit universities and online colleges. I have not heard whites mock college and "book learning" the way I've heard blacks do so -- sorry -- just my experience. I'm sure I'll be told I'm wrong.

You're a dolt. But think about this: 50 years ago, blacks couldn't even attend school with whites. Since the CRM, we've grown in leaps and bounds. Given that there was never an educational restriction for whites, why aren't 100% of them on board with education?

Something to think on: When you've been denied access to something, you sometimes shun it (out of pride, self-preservation, etc). That attitude can sometimes be passed down to children, grandchildren, etc.

If you've never heard rural and/or poor white folks show disdain for education, you haven't gotten out much. Or you're being willfully ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So then what do *you* think needs to happen in the black community? Maybe you are upper class, so this isn't your community. Then this doesn't really apply to you, does it.

Ohhhh so there ARE numerous black communities. Boy you just can't seem to keep your facts straight can you?

[Anonymous]

We don't need Jackie Chan as our leader cause we are doing just fine. Most minority groups have a "community leader" that speaks for the community, organizes the community, etc.. . Some may lead just the local community, but isn't that a start? You don't think having a "leader" would help your community? I'm not saying every black person is lost. Clearly that is not the case. But don't you think the black community needs to change at all? Or is it that everyone around them needs to change first? Like I said, racism is real. But how is the community helping themselves? Maybe they are and the rest of us just don't see it.

So then what do *you* think needs to happen in the black community? Maybe you are upper class, so this isn't your community. Then this doesn't really apply to you, does it.

Asians are doing just fine? Really? Then why are many of you fighting tooth and nail to get to the US? How are things in your home country? Everyone doing great and not in need of any great Asian leader? How...interesting.

BTW, there is no black community. There is a black race. This idea that we are all interconnected is false and needs to stop. It's asinine and small-minded thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey if I became a cuckold and got off watching my wife with sleep with other men would I be "acting white"?
Do white parents teach that to their sons?

Ouch!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So then what do *you* think needs to happen in the black community? Maybe you are upper class, so this isn't your community. Then this doesn't really apply to you, does it.

Ohhhh so there ARE numerous black communities. Boy you just can't seem to keep your facts straight can you?

Instead of quibbling over semantics, why don't you address the question. Because you don't know either? Because it's easier to finger point than look within?

[Anonymous]

Wait I thought whites were the experts on everything. When did Asians become the master race?
I'm confused again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So then what do *you* think needs to happen in the black community? Maybe you are upper class, so this isn't your community. Then this doesn't really apply to you, does it.

Ohhhh so there ARE numerous black communities. Boy you just can't seem to keep your facts straight can you?

Instead of quibbling over semantics, why don't you address the question. Because you don't know either? Because it's easier to finger point than look within?

What you don't get is that change is UP TO THE INDIVIDUAL. Why do you think there is a one size fits all solution?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:40 you state that 50% of the black people you work with save for their children's college. The other 50% do not and do not think it is the best investment for their children. Are you telling me that 100% of white folks in America save for their children to attend college and 100% believe college is a good investment?

Whether you can save or not is obviously up to your income level -- but more than 50% of whites do think some kind of college is best for kids; I mean look at the rise of for profit universities and online colleges. I have not heard whites mock college and "book learning" the way I've heard blacks do so -- sorry -- just my experience. I'm sure I'll be told I'm wrong.

You're wrong. But we aren't really talking about more than 50%, but it was mighty white of you to move the goal post. Your original diatribe was 50% of blacks saved and talked about college. Whereas the other 50% of the 30 black folks you worked with did not. Again, for you, where are these 100% white folks who save for college?

Oh, and there was just within the last week a long thread from white posters stating that if they had to do it over, they would not go to college, but to trade school. There is another thread where posters state that they will not save for their children to attend college, as it would be best if the kid had some financial teeth in their own education. The demographics of DCUM skews white, middle class, female, so take the posts for what they are worth.