I'm an African American. Ask me anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know AAs can't wash their hair that often or it will get dry. What do you do about working out and getting sweaty?

I work out 5 days a week. I'm a man so I will let someone else answer that. It's quite complicated.

Black woman here. I work out regularly. I wear my hair "natural", and wet/condition it every day. I only use shampoo once or twice a week. But black women who wear their hair relaxed may have a different routine. Some black women don't work out or swim very often specifically because they don't want to deal with the hair impact. Most of the black women I see at my gym have either natural hair or wigs.

I'm also natural, I wash my hair 5 days a week and deep condition it once a week.

I'm a black woman who relaxes her hair. When I work out, my hair gets damp, but not wet. It also doesn't smell when it dries (due to moisturizers, etc in my hair). Working out does present a challenge though because you can easily sweat your perm out.

I did not know this. I'm a white woman and cancer survivor with an interest in public health, and find it distressing that people won't exercise because of the impact on their hair.

I didn't say won't exercise; I said it presents a challenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Why do you equate choosing a different less career oriented path as "shirking a challenge"? I really hope my daughter decides to go the doctor route, but I won't pressure her into it. Especially when I know that being a P.A. is a great profession. It also suits her personality more.

re: the free time sacrifice. That's HUGELY important for me. I do not live to work. I value my leisure time. I'm always looking for an excuse for a vacation. "

We are talking about why AAs aren't as ambitious as Caucasians. That's the context. If you aim to be a PA instead of an MD, you are not as ambitious.

I disagree completely. They each have different roles that might suit a person's interest.

While I might want to be a police officer, I might not want to be a Captain and/or detective.
While I might want to be a teacher, I might not want to be a Professor and/or Principal.
While I might want to be a nurse, I might not want to be a doctor.

Has nothing to do with ambition.

BTW, in case you didn't know not all white people are ambitious and there are plenty of black people that are more ambitious than whites.

This is a very good point. But it also raises questions about "blacks being left behind" in the same way that pay disparities between white men and women do. Why aren't there many female/black CEOs? Perhaps it's because wanting to become a CEO is a pathology. Maybe we should be trying to cure white men of wanting to be CEOs.

Pay disparity is only a problem when the pay isn't equal for similar and/or same positions.

Also, I'm okay with finishing up at a mid-level professional place, career-wise. Not interested in the time commitment of dedicating myself to an executive-level career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See, all the weed talk (by women at that), makes me say that black people are ghetto. Ugh...

Whatever, you know that most of the people being serviced by the DC "Nancy Botwin's" are mostly white. Are they ghetto too?

Weed transcends all racial and socioeconomic lines. But assuming that a black person who smokes weed is ghetto...what does that make you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why many AA women are anti-fro.

If I were AA, I'd go natural.

FWIW, I'm white, and I'm graying. And I don't give a rat's ass what people think.

Not interested in an Afro at all. Believe it or not, going natural is pretty high-maintenance. I'd look ridiculous with a bush. And I look like a teenager with braids, so I shy away from braided hairstyles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw a bit on 60 minutes a while ago where they had a panel of AAs and they were talking about being teased in school if they did well as "acting white".

Is that true or have you experienced that?

This is overplayed. People don't say that much anymore. Plus, not really sure why only blacks are accused of harassing smart people. There are MANY white kids that are teased for being nerds.

I was smart in school and was never teased. The kids that were teased were geeks (and they weren't always smart). I would wager that folks who were accused of "acting white" were Carlton (from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air) type black kids. In these instances white=yuppy, preppy, bourgeois, etc.

It must depend on the area, because I don't think it's overplayed. I was in high school within the past decade and was teased terribly for talking and acting white (and acting white was getting good grades). It only came from the lower-income black kids, so although I hated them then, I'm forgiving and understanding of why they acted that way now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why many AA women are anti-fro.

If I were AA, I'd go natural.

FWIW, I'm white, and I'm graying. And I don't give a rat's ass what people think.

Not interested in an Afro at all. Believe it or not, going natural is pretty high-maintenance. I'd look ridiculous with a bush. And I look like a teenager with braids, so I shy away from braided hairstyles.

I think it varies. I wear my hair natural, and it takes very little maintenance. Pretty much wash and go with a little leave in conditioner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:**Raising hand**

I've got a question!

I live in a gentrifying part of DC, and every few weeks some long term resident posts a message to the local neighborhood mailing list complaining that "white people never say hello".

I've noticed that, when I'm walking down the street, I'm usually met with a grim glare by black people coming my way. When I dutifully say "Good morning!" the response is usually one of three variations:

a) The other person gives me a look as if my head has been sculpted out of dog poop.

b) I get no response whatsoever.

c) I get a smile and a good morning in return.

Given that "not saying 'hi'" appears to be one of the major complaints about the "newcomers", one would think that 'c)' would be the most common, but in fact, I see a lot more of a) and b).

Do you have any idea what's going on? Is this an elaborate practical joke? Or is it possible my "old timer" neighbors might have deeper resentments and that "white folks don't say 'hi'" might just be a fig leaf to cover those up?

I think the unfriendly responders have something in common with my upper NW white neighbors because I've received the same response to my attempts at being friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw a bit on 60 minutes a while ago where they had a panel of AAs and they were talking about being teased in school if they did well as "acting white".

Is that true or have you experienced that?

This is overplayed. People don't say that much anymore. Plus, not really sure why only blacks are accused of harassing smart people. There are MANY white kids that are teased for being nerds.

I was smart in school and was never teased. The kids that were teased were geeks (and they weren't always smart). I would wager that folks who were accused of "acting white" were Carlton (from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air) type black kids. In these instances white=yuppy, preppy, bourgeois, etc.

It must depend on the area, because I don't think it's overplayed. I was in high school within the past decade and was teased terribly for talking and acting white (and acting white was getting good grades). It only came from the lower-income black kids, so although I hated them then, I'm forgiving and understanding of why they acted that way now.

I was raised in the projects of SE, DC. I was also very smart. Went to DCPS. Never saw anyone teased for being smart (not many people were going around asking what grades everyone got). The kids I saw being teased were the dorks (sometimes they also were smart, but not always). There are plenty of cool smart kids who don't get teased. If you were/are smart and you got teased, it probably has more to do with you also being a dork and/or socially awkward.

Also, the acting white thing is usually just synonymous with acting preppy, superior and/or bourgeois. The "acting white" insult has more to do with being lame and/or uncool than it did to being smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why many AA women are anti-fro.

If I were AA, I'd go natural.

FWIW, I'm white, and I'm graying. And I don't give a rat's ass what people think.

Not interested in an Afro at all. Believe it or not, going natural is pretty high-maintenance. I'd look ridiculous with a bush. And I look like a teenager with braids, so I shy away from braided hairstyles.

I think it varies. I wear my hair natural, and it takes very little maintenance. Pretty much wash and go with a little leave in conditioner.

Very true. I have Type 4 natural hair, so yeah......wearing it natural would be a bit of a maintenance challenge!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the AA women: Did you have trouble dating? I've heard that AA women (and Asian men) are least desirable as potential mates.

Never ever had a problem. I've been hit on by all races, in America, in Japan and in Europe. (AA woman poster)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think of biracial people who have one AA parent and choses to identify as biracial regardless of how they look?

I don't care. Racial identification is a personal thing, although of course it's heavily influenced by society. Biracial people identifying as AA goes back to slavery. Also, many AAs are racially mixed but the mixing has happened over several generations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:**Raising hand**

I've got a question!

I live in a gentrifying part of DC, and every few weeks some long term resident posts a message to the local neighborhood mailing list complaining that "white people never say hello".

I've noticed that, when I'm walking down the street, I'm usually met with a grim glare by black people coming my way. When I dutifully say "Good morning!" the response is usually one of three variations:

a) The other person gives me a look as if my head has been sculpted out of dog poop.

b) I get no response whatsoever.

c) I get a smile and a good morning in return.

Given that "not saying 'hi'" appears to be one of the major complaints about the "newcomers", one would think that 'c)' would be the most common, but in fact, I see a lot more of a) and b).

Do you have any idea what's going on? Is this an elaborate practical joke? Or is it possible my "old timer" neighbors might have deeper resentments and that "white folks don't say 'hi'" might just be a fig leaf to cover those up?

I think the unfriendly responders have something in common with my upper NW white neighbors because I've received the same response to my attempts at being friendly.

I don't doubt that for a second. My guess is that the "not saying 'hi'" goes both ways. And yet...do you get a lot of traffic on your local listserv from white professionals complaining that the reason the neighborhood's going to pot is that "black people just *won't* say 'Hi'!" ?

[Anonymous]

ManHere wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"BTW, in case you didn't know not all white people are ambitious and there are plenty of black people that are more ambitious than whites. "

I think the average middle class white person is more ambitious than the average middle class black person, but I'd like to understand why.

Well, I know a hell of a lot of white women who either are or desperately want to be stay at home moms. I don't know a single black stay at home mom among my middle/upper middle class friends. The black women I know - we work hard.

OP here. Danm. Almost got through a DCUM topic without bringing up the SAHM discussion .

I was thinking the same thing And I know several middle class AA SAHMs who work very hard! One of them even home schools her three kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for AA men and women - Are you attracted to opposite complexions or the same complexion as your own within the AA community? (For Black/ AA attracted to other Black/ AA)

I'm attracted to anyone I find attractive, regardless of complexion... For the most part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why many AA women are anti-fro.

If I were AA, I'd go natural.

FWIW, I'm white, and I'm graying. And I don't give a rat's ass what people think.

I have natural hair, but some women are anti-fro because our hair has been denigrated for centuries in the Western world.