SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do

[Anonymous]

Okay, I just read 15 pages of this and my take-away is that WOHM are offended by absolutely everything a SAHM says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad I'm rich and can SAH and not have to plan to ever work again!

So glad I'm educated and can either work or SAH!

So glad I'm rich and educated. Just pointing out that the two don't have to be mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

I interviewed a woman last month who is planning on re entering the workforce after staying at home with her kids for the last 13 years.

She spent almost the whole interview talking about her commitment to her children and how "work/life balance" was the most important consideration in what job she would take.

I tried to help her out by asking questions about the job I was trying to fill and how she felt qualified to do the job.

She didn't seem to get it and instead kept asking me how we planned to meet her needs. Apparently, she is kind of tone deaf to the economy and job market these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and please do not say anything about your children other than you have childcare covered.

why?? double standard, right?

Double standard is ten year gap for a woman is SAHM but jail term for a man.

[Anonymous]

Imagine a SAHD returning to the workforce after 10 years. Which interviewer is going to hire this guy? The female WOHM or the male WOHD?

[Anonymous]

Here's what you can say:

In my career before children, I felt a great deal of satisfaction in my job. [Here are the things I accomplished during that time.]

It was with some trepidation, but also excitement, that I left the work world to be a stay at home parent. It was a choice I wanted to make at the time, anopportunity that I knew would come once in a lifetime. So I jumped off to pursue that role full time. I do not regret the decision, nor do I at all judge those who choose another route.

And now the time has come for me to return to the ABC field. Again, it's a decision I do not regret, and, in fact, I'm relishing it. I am aware that X time away puts me at a certain disadvantage, at least on paper. So I have taken steps to ensure I am back up to speed as a competetive candidate who can offer [your company] the focus, drive, experience, and skills required to do this job well. I am not looking back, I am looking forward. I would not be here if I didn't not want this position.

[And then focus on what the focus, drive, and experiences you have are, and what you've done to keep yourself competetive.]

At least that's what I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocking, I just got back into the work force 2 years ago after 8 years being at home with the kids. It took me a whole 2 months to find work and I had two offers to choose from. I'm in IT sales to the feds and am pulling in 300k/yr-more than I ever imagined by hitting my sales goals each quarter.

I picked sales because I'm outgoing, confident, and not too hard on the eyes. I also primarily wanted to WFH so I could get the kids off the bus. I also was up front about my family in the interview process. The hiring manager (a man) has a SAHW and we related in the interview process around children.

Sorry to rain on your bitter party, but it was pretty wonderful to be home while my children were small and jump back to wiotk wtih a high salary upside, in a family friendly career.

Yikes. With federal spending cuts (mostly in IT), you'd better polish up your resume. I can guarantee you won't be making anywhere close to that amount next year.

Assuming this is real, which I really doubt (as my DH is in IT cybersecurity consulting to the feds...no effing way do even the best sales people make $300k in this market). And I don't buy for a second that a person who took off 8 years had the contacts necessary to immediately start making $300K. I'm guessing this person is either ridiculously lucky or just lying.

Not true. My husband is in IT sales, public sector. He pulled in something around the salary you're disbelieving. He does love his job, salary notwithstanding, and I mean *loves*. So he might be among "the best sales people." He also WFH, as do most of his colleagues in the field. Pretty sweet deal for him.

[Anonymous]

I know a few people in IT sales on the side and they are doing just fine. I wish I could do it (not my skill set or cup of tea) because the money certainly is still there.

[Anonymous]

It's just funny to me that people are treating SAH and WOH as if these are immutable characteristics. These are choices- often temporary ones (hence SAHM returning to workforce). Some women never SAH. That's fine. Some SAH for three or four years. Previously they were WOHM and will return to WOH. A WOHM can become a SAHM in this economy by downsizing or being terminated. In many cases these are just temporary labels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I don't want to work with someone who thinks I didn't raise my children properly because I chose to work. I don't think those kinds of women deserve to work. I'd rather hire someone else.

I said it.

As a SAHM, when I interview to re-enter the workforce in a couple of years, am I going to be at an automatic disadvantage with WOH women because they think that I look down on them because they didn't stay home?

Sounds like it - at least the insecure ones.

[Anonymous]

One of my friends has a wife that works in IT sales to the feds, and while she does WAH, there's 60-hour weeks at the end of each quarter, 80 hour weeks at the end of the fiscal year, etc., etc. Plus there is zero work/home separation it appears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's what you can say:

In my career before children, I felt a great deal of satisfaction in my job. [Here are the things I accomplished during that time.]

It was with some trepidation, but also excitement, that I left the work world to be a stay at home parent. It was a choice I wanted to make at the time, anopportunity that I knew would come once in a lifetime. So I jumped off to pursue that role full time. I do not regret the decision, nor do I at all judge those who choose another route.

And now the time has come for me to return to the ABC field. Again, it's a decision I do not regret, and, in fact, I'm relishing it. I am aware that X time away puts me at a certain disadvantage, at least on paper. So I have taken steps to ensure I am back up to speed as a competetive candidate who can offer [your company] the focus, drive, experience, and skills required to do this job well. I am not looking back, I am looking forward. I would not be here if I didn't not want this position.

[And then focus on what the focus, drive, and experiences you have are, and what you've done to keep yourself competetive.]

At least that's what I think.

Hmm. I think this sounds a little defensive. I don't think you need to justify at length or apologize, or even assume you are less qualified that someone who didn't take a break. Just talk about what you can do, not about your supposed disadvantages and how you will make up for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad I'm rich and can SAH and not have to plan to ever work again!

So glad I'm educated and can either work or SAH!

So glad I'm rich and educated. Just pointing out that the two don't have to be mutually exclusive.

Right, just as being rich and working/wanting to work are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

If the gap of ten years is brought up, OP could say:

"For reasons that are personal, I stepped away from the corporate world."

"I would rather focus on my prior work experience than my time away."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's just funny to me that people are treating SAH and WOH as if these are immutable characteristics. These are choices- often temporary ones (hence SAHM returning to workforce). Some women never SAH. That's fine. Some SAH for three or four years. Previously they were WOHM and will return to WOH. A WOHM can become a SAHM in this economy by downsizing or being terminated. In many cases these are just temporary labels.

I'm a dyed in the wool WOHM...been out of work one month in the last 22 years...many of my neighbors have not yet done any paid work, and their oldest children are 10, 11 or 12. It's more immutable than you think, at least in this area where many people work or sah for reasons other than financial.