Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very surprised at the amount of ppl who are ok with kids being overscheduled and don't see the downsides of it.

Middle class striver mindset. They think all the elementary sports and instrument lessons will set their kids up for elite college admissions as long as they stick with the instrument and sport through high school. And because everyone in their small orbit does it they think their kids are at a disadvantage if they don't do it too. Truthfully, the HS activities that stand out the most are having a part time job and school service stuff like newspaper, yearbook, and student govt. These soccer-piano kids are a dime a dozen.

UMC and UC kids play instruments and sports. You are right. This isn’t enough to get into an elite college. We all know this.

Mine will drop sports in college. None of us care. Music, well they want to minor in music so money well spent. They’d prefer to major but we are against that.

[Anonymous]

All the kids who I know that aren't overscheduled are in aftercare and not available for playdates (unless I want to keep them until 6p).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a group of people like OP (they start a thread like this seemingly once a week) who seem to have made their personality: I let my kids be bored. This group refuses to accept that kids who do a sport (maybe even 2) and play an instrument, for example, can possibly have time to entertain themselves at home or play unstructured with friends. But upper elementary school kids and middle school kids don't have much homework and they don't go to bed at like 7:00 anymore...there is plenty of time. They also refuse to hear that these activities have well-researched benefit. (Instead it's all just for college admissions .)

What's going on is that these folks are low energy or very busy at work or have other demands on their time and just don't want to drive their kids around or have any kid-related commitments on the weekends. They've convinced themselves that happy kids with well-balanced schedules are overscheduled.

YES! This is what I see too. Some weird brag that they are too lazy to take their kids to things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound like my neighbor who thinks HER way to parent is the ONLY way to parent. She takes huge pride in her kids barely doing any activities and looks down on me as a parent for having a kid that WANTS to be busy and asks to be at her one chosen activity all the time. Yes, she's there 5x a week. Yes, that sounds insane, but it's truly where she's the happiest.

My kid plays tennis 5x per week. His peers at his level all play much more than he does. He has friends who swim daily year round or play ice hockey at 5am before school. My friend’s daughter stopped going to school to focus more on her sport. To me, that seems extreme but they are really good at what they do. My kid is also very good at tennis but I don’t expect him to be a college recruit. His coaches all say he should be able to play tennis in college. We will see.

We know rich folks who themselves are not very impressive and their kids also are not very good at anything either. They are the ones who hold up their noses and call others strivers or try hard or whatever. That is now how I want to live nor the way I want to raise my kids. I always encourage my kids to try their best.

5 times a week and no college? What level is this

He will be borderline. He is an 8 UTR at age 14. I’m assuming he will be 10-11 by junior year. He plays tennis because he loves it and is good at it. He is good but we know this is not college recruit level.

If he’s a 10 by junior year he can play D3 but I’m sure you know this

My kid is very academic and wants to attend a top college. He should be able to play tennis for a college but the colleges he wants to attend. Everywhere we go, we are told how good our kid is at tennis. We took him to a tournament out of state and he got crushed against top tennis teens. We know other players who are around his level who seem focused on college tennis. We are not.

So he can play at a SLAC if he wishes but he won’t be playing for Duke or Stanford. FACTS Best 14 year old in the country is an 11 BTW

We know many kids in this borderline UTR. Some parents think their kids can go all the way. We have more realistic expectations.

We know people who have boasted about their kids all throughout their lives and their kids end up at some not so great college not recruited. I would rather be pleasantly surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Maybe teens need to learn to entertain themselves without getting into trouble?

[Anonymous]

My kids take religious education one day a week because we send them to public school, not religious school. That is important for our culture and religious beliefs. They also do winter swim instead of swim lessons which is one hour a week on Sunday. My older son does travel soccer and it is year round with no option to do one semester. He doesn't do futsal but it is 3x a week, plus games. Now it is lacrosse season and my boys do lacrosse 2x a week. My younger son does cultural dance. That is 1x a week. My kids also walk to the school playground to meet up with friends, build forts in the park, go to the library for a role playing game, play basketball and ride bikes or walk to friends' houses. We don't arrange formal play dates. They don't really watch TV and play video games. When we don't have sports in the summer, we do swim team at our pool and go hiking. My husband feels the same way as the OP but the kids I was given are joiners who enjoy sports and being part of something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Once again, your kid is about 8 years old. If you're struggling to stave off the boredom now wait a few years. It will get a lot more fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Maybe teens need to learn to entertain themselves without getting into trouble?

This isn't really about what other teens need or don't, this is all coming from OPs selfish desire that more kids be at her kids beck and call because she's too lazy or cheap to let them do activities like all the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I complain too. But a busy kid is a kid less likely to get into trouble as a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Maybe teens need to learn to entertain themselves without getting into trouble?

This isn't really about what other teens need or don't, this is all coming from OPs selfish desire that more kids be at her kids beck and call because she's too lazy or cheap to let them do activities like all the other kids.

It's not lazy or cheap, it's realistic. Activities are way too time consuming and expensive now a days. And there is nothing wrong with free time or free play, kids need more of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Then OP should have had more kids. It's not everyone else's problem to fix. Apparently OPs parenting philosophy doesn't work unless other parents buy into it. That doesn't sound like someone who has a lot of confidence in their 'let boredom reign' parenting.

OP is also confused about what these other parents are venting about. They -- THE PARENT -- are feeling exhausted, etc., trying to get their kids to everything. Presumably the parent has lots of things going on -- maybe a full time job, 2-3 kids, household chores, maybe a spouse with limited weekday availability. Just because mom is exhausted managing all that doesn't mean each of her individual kids is over scheduled. Dumb assumption.

And sometimes we vent about things that are hard even though we don't want to change them, or we know the hardship is worth it. It just feels good to vent to a friend. Surely OP understands the concept of a vent since she prefaced her post as just that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9