Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound like my neighbor who thinks HER way to parent is the ONLY way to parent. She takes huge pride in her kids barely doing any activities and looks down on me as a parent for having a kid that WANTS to be busy and asks to be at her one chosen activity all the time. Yes, she's there 5x a week. Yes, that sounds insane, but it's truly where she's the happiest.

My kid plays tennis 5x per week. His peers at his level all play much more than he does. He has friends who swim daily year round or play ice hockey at 5am before school. My friend’s daughter stopped going to school to focus more on her sport. To me, that seems extreme but they are really good at what they do. My kid is also very good at tennis but I don’t expect him to be a college recruit. His coaches all say he should be able to play tennis in college. We will see.

We know rich folks who themselves are not very impressive and their kids also are not very good at anything either. They are the ones who hold up their noses and call others strivers or try hard or whatever. That is now how I want to live nor the way I want to raise my kids. I always encourage my kids to try their best.

5 times a week and no college? What level is this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound like my neighbor who thinks HER way to parent is the ONLY way to parent. She takes huge pride in her kids barely doing any activities and looks down on me as a parent for having a kid that WANTS to be busy and asks to be at her one chosen activity all the time. Yes, she's there 5x a week. Yes, that sounds insane, but it's truly where she's the happiest.

My kid plays tennis 5x per week. His peers at his level all play much more than he does. He has friends who swim daily year round or play ice hockey at 5am before school. My friend’s daughter stopped going to school to focus more on her sport. To me, that seems extreme but they are really good at what they do. My kid is also very good at tennis but I don’t expect him to be a college recruit. His coaches all say he should be able to play tennis in college. We will see.

We know rich folks who themselves are not very impressive and their kids also are not very good at anything either. They are the ones who hold up their noses and call others strivers or try hard or whatever. That is now how I want to live nor the way I want to raise my kids. I always encourage my kids to try their best.

5 times a week and no college? What level is this

He will be borderline. He is an 8 UTR at age 14. I’m assuming he will be 10-11 by junior year. He plays tennis because he loves it and is good at it. He is good but we know this is not college recruit level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound like my neighbor who thinks HER way to parent is the ONLY way to parent. She takes huge pride in her kids barely doing any activities and looks down on me as a parent for having a kid that WANTS to be busy and asks to be at her one chosen activity all the time. Yes, she's there 5x a week. Yes, that sounds insane, but it's truly where she's the happiest.

Yes he will play college. D3 though
My kid plays tennis 5x per week. His peers at his level all play much more than he does. He has friends who swim daily year round or play ice hockey at 5am before school. My friend’s daughter stopped going to school to focus more on her sport. To me, that seems extreme but they are really good at what they do. My kid is also very good at tennis but I don’t expect him to be a college recruit. His coaches all say he should be able to play tennis in college. We will see.

We know rich folks who themselves are not very impressive and their kids also are not very good at anything either. They are the ones who hold up their noses and call others strivers or try hard or whatever. That is now how I want to live nor the way I want to raise my kids. I always encourage my kids to try their best.

5 times a week and no college? What level is this

He will be borderline. He is an 8 UTR at age 14. I’m assuming he will be 10-11 by junior year. He plays tennis because he loves it and is good at it. He is good but we know this is not college recruit level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound like my neighbor who thinks HER way to parent is the ONLY way to parent. She takes huge pride in her kids barely doing any activities and looks down on me as a parent for having a kid that WANTS to be busy and asks to be at her one chosen activity all the time. Yes, she's there 5x a week. Yes, that sounds insane, but it's truly where she's the happiest.

My kid plays tennis 5x per week. His peers at his level all play much more than he does. He has friends who swim daily year round or play ice hockey at 5am before school. My friend’s daughter stopped going to school to focus more on her sport. To me, that seems extreme but they are really good at what they do. My kid is also very good at tennis but I don’t expect him to be a college recruit. His coaches all say he should be able to play tennis in college. We will see.

We know rich folks who themselves are not very impressive and their kids also are not very good at anything either. They are the ones who hold up their noses and call others strivers or try hard or whatever. That is now how I want to live nor the way I want to raise my kids. I always encourage my kids to try their best.

5 times a week and no college? What level is this

He will be borderline. He is an 8 UTR at age 14. I’m assuming he will be 10-11 by junior year. He plays tennis because he loves it and is good at it. He is good but we know this is not college recruit level.

If he’s a 10 by junior year he can play D3 but I’m sure you know this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very surprised at the amount of ppl who are ok with kids being overscheduled and don't see the downsides of it.

Middle class striver mindset. They think all the elementary sports and instrument lessons will set their kids up for elite college admissions as long as they stick with the instrument and sport through high school. And because everyone in their small orbit does it they think their kids are at a disadvantage if they don't do it too. Truthfully, the HS activities that stand out the most are having a part time job and school service stuff like newspaper, yearbook, and student govt. These soccer-piano kids are a dime a dozen.

No, I want my kids to be happy and healthy. I don't strive for anything for them, it about what they want not me. I obviously want them to make a good living and have a good life, but not as the expense of their childhood. People in this area really ought to watch chasing childhood, it's an eye opener.

[Anonymous]

I don’t go through tsa to hey on planes

[Anonymous]

There is a group of people like OP (they start a thread like this seemingly once a week) who seem to have made their personality: I let my kids be bored. This group refuses to accept that kids who do a sport (maybe even 2) and play an instrument, for example, can possibly have time to entertain themselves at home or play unstructured with friends. But upper elementary school kids and middle school kids don't have much homework and they don't go to bed at like 7:00 anymore...there is plenty of time. They also refuse to hear that these activities have well-researched benefit. (Instead it's all just for college admissions .)

What's going on is that these folks are low energy or very busy at work or have other demands on their time and just don't want to drive their kids around or have any kid-related commitments on the weekends. They've convinced themselves that happy kids with well-balanced schedules are overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a group of people like OP (they start a thread like this seemingly once a week) who seem to have made their personality: I let my kids be bored. This group refuses to accept that kids who do a sport (maybe even 2) and play an instrument, for example, can possibly have time to entertain themselves at home or play unstructured with friends. But upper elementary school kids and middle school kids don't have much homework and they don't go to bed at like 7:00 anymore...there is plenty of time. They also refuse to hear that these activities have well-researched benefit. (Instead it's all just for college admissions .)

What's going on is that these folks are low energy or very busy at work or have other demands on their time and just don't want to drive their kids around or have any kid-related commitments on the weekends. They've convinced themselves that happy kids with well-balanced schedules are overscheduled.

Yup. And also fail to understand that a parent running ragged getting multiple kids to activities isn’t the same thing as saying each one of the children is over scheduled! One of the three kids must have music and sports that take up three days - that leaves four days in the week for free play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound like my neighbor who thinks HER way to parent is the ONLY way to parent. She takes huge pride in her kids barely doing any activities and looks down on me as a parent for having a kid that WANTS to be busy and asks to be at her one chosen activity all the time. Yes, she's there 5x a week. Yes, that sounds insane, but it's truly where she's the happiest.

My kid plays tennis 5x per week. His peers at his level all play much more than he does. He has friends who swim daily year round or play ice hockey at 5am before school. My friend’s daughter stopped going to school to focus more on her sport. To me, that seems extreme but they are really good at what they do. My kid is also very good at tennis but I don’t expect him to be a college recruit. His coaches all say he should be able to play tennis in college. We will see.

We know rich folks who themselves are not very impressive and their kids also are not very good at anything either. They are the ones who hold up their noses and call others strivers or try hard or whatever. That is now how I want to live nor the way I want to raise my kids. I always encourage my kids to try their best.

5 times a week and no college? What level is this

He will be borderline. He is an 8 UTR at age 14. I’m assuming he will be 10-11 by junior year. He plays tennis because he loves it and is good at it. He is good but we know this is not college recruit level.

If he’s a 10 by junior year he can play D3 but I’m sure you know this

My kid is very academic and wants to attend a top college. He should be able to play tennis for a college but the colleges he wants to attend. Everywhere we go, we are told how good our kid is at tennis. We took him to a tournament out of state and he got crushed against top tennis teens. We know other players who are around his level who seem focused on college tennis. We are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound like my neighbor who thinks HER way to parent is the ONLY way to parent. She takes huge pride in her kids barely doing any activities and looks down on me as a parent for having a kid that WANTS to be busy and asks to be at her one chosen activity all the time. Yes, she's there 5x a week. Yes, that sounds insane, but it's truly where she's the happiest.

My kid plays tennis 5x per week. His peers at his level all play much more than he does. He has friends who swim daily year round or play ice hockey at 5am before school. My friend’s daughter stopped going to school to focus more on her sport. To me, that seems extreme but they are really good at what they do. My kid is also very good at tennis but I don’t expect him to be a college recruit. His coaches all say he should be able to play tennis in college. We will see.

We know rich folks who themselves are not very impressive and their kids also are not very good at anything either. They are the ones who hold up their noses and call others strivers or try hard or whatever. That is now how I want to live nor the way I want to raise my kids. I always encourage my kids to try their best.

5 times a week and no college? What level is this

He will be borderline. He is an 8 UTR at age 14. I’m assuming he will be 10-11 by junior year. He plays tennis because he loves it and is good at it. He is good but we know this is not college recruit level.

If he’s a 10 by junior year he can play D3 but I’m sure you know this

My kid is very academic and wants to attend a top college. He should be able to play tennis for a college but the colleges he wants to attend. Everywhere we go, we are told how good our kid is at tennis. We took him to a tournament out of state and he got crushed against top tennis teens. We know other players who are around his level who seem focused on college tennis. We are not.

NCAA groupings have nothing to do with academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound like my neighbor who thinks HER way to parent is the ONLY way to parent. She takes huge pride in her kids barely doing any activities and looks down on me as a parent for having a kid that WANTS to be busy and asks to be at her one chosen activity all the time. Yes, she's there 5x a week. Yes, that sounds insane, but it's truly where she's the happiest.

My kid plays tennis 5x per week. His peers at his level all play much more than he does. He has friends who swim daily year round or play ice hockey at 5am before school. My friend’s daughter stopped going to school to focus more on her sport. To me, that seems extreme but they are really good at what they do. My kid is also very good at tennis but I don’t expect him to be a college recruit. His coaches all say he should be able to play tennis in college. We will see.

We know rich folks who themselves are not very impressive and their kids also are not very good at anything either. They are the ones who hold up their noses and call others strivers or try hard or whatever. That is now how I want to live nor the way I want to raise my kids. I always encourage my kids to try their best.

5 times a week and no college? What level is this

He will be borderline. He is an 8 UTR at age 14. I’m assuming he will be 10-11 by junior year. He plays tennis because he loves it and is good at it. He is good but we know this is not college recruit level.

If he’s a 10 by junior year he can play D3 but I’m sure you know this

My kid is very academic and wants to attend a top college. He should be able to play tennis for a college but the colleges he wants to attend. Everywhere we go, we are told how good our kid is at tennis. We took him to a tournament out of state and he got crushed against top tennis teens. We know other players who are around his level who seem focused on college tennis. We are not.

So he can play at a SLAC if he wishes but he won’t be playing for Duke or Stanford. FACTS Best 14 year old in the country is an 11 BTW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

What, but terrorizing neighbors who she dumps the kids on or nonstop video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Then OP should have had more kids. It's not everyone else's problem to fix. Apparently OPs parenting philosophy doesn't work unless other parents buy into it. That doesn't sound like someone who has a lot of confidence in their 'let boredom reign' parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.