Does everyone on here with kids applying to top 50 schools really have the $80K per year to spend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny you should ask this OP.

When I hit “submit payment” and a link to deduct $42,650 from our bank account last Tuesday- for ONE SEMESTER- I had the same thought. Who in their right mind really does this?

1) those with over $20MM in the bank, 2) those with paying grandpas

Nope. HHI $230, have been saving since the children were little (started with $210/month for maxium tax benefit, as our income went up we did a little but more, plus bonus money, etc). DC 1 got merit aid, so very inexpensive, will have funds leftover for grad school. DC 2, attending am over $80k per year private, will be a stretch for us, between 529 and cash flow - there will be nothing left for grad school, they will need to pay on their own.

And, we don't go abroad for vacation, drive 10+ year old cars until they die, etc). We've made education a priority

So that your kids can take budget vacations and drive beater cars while making education a priority for their kids too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the Midwest in an area where going to college was the expectation, but very little prestige given to this school over that. People mostly went public.

But .. there was also an expectation that kids got cars over their own in their teen years (new, nice cars). People cared indeed about brand names. People got married pretty young, bought an home at 30, and had their 3 or 4 kids by the time they were in their mid 30.

My parents were east coast transplants and we had to use the family car when it was free and applied to colleges further afield. We all went to Ivy League schools (in the day when it wasn’t that hard for full pay kids).

And now I live in Brooklyn and see this mania up close.

But as I watch my Midwest friends repeating this cycle I think, that’s a better way. It’s weird how this college thing overtakes a childhood. My old friends had more kids, roomy houses, less financial stress, got a lake house in MI or WI, are on track for retirement, and their kids had carefree childhoods. They all have fulfilling jobs. Their kids will too.

Why do we do this?

This is so interesting. What do you think is going on?

Same. I actually think my senior DD would love the midwestern university in the town I grew up in. She has toured and does like it but is influenced by the culture here and thinks that because it has a high acceptance rate it isn’t as good as schools with a lower acceptance rate. She could just pick this school and enjoy her senior year and also enjoy her college experience.

She is correct in that her academic cohort at a lower ranked / acceptance rate college is definitely for the most part, going to be inferior, regardless of the standard of teaching / research at the college.

40% of kids at Williams, Amherst etc all recruited athletes. Why do people still buy this?

But Williams and Amherst are D3 which means they value academics and those athletes have to get in first. They're not dumb University of Alabama jocks. My DD was recruited at Johns Hopkins. The coach told her if she didn't have a 1460 SAT he couldn't even begin conversations with her. And conversations with her did not mean she'd get in. Just that he wasn't about to waste his time. These top LACs are like that with their athletes. She had to get a pre-read and then apply. These schools don't admit athletes who cannot cut it academically. You're thinking of D1 and D2.

Well that is unique to Hopkins or to your daughter. I know Ivy recruits this past year who were recruited with SATs well below 1400. I'm related to one. I know several others because I coach in the sport.

My kid was recruited at Carnegie Mellon and Swarthmore and they wanted top scores before they considered them

This was our experience with Williams too. And those top scores only got the coach to consider you, did not get you in, or get the coach to add you to the team.

when you say top scores, you mean top scores at these schools? or do you mean they need to see average SAT scores for the school, which is well over 1500. (at our private school, you get a 1500 and you're told to take it again if you want these kinds of schools).

we have a country full of musicians and actors and math kids and kids who hold down real jobs that would love to have been told, you have to meet the average SAT scores before you get a tip. yeah, bring that on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had 18 years to save. Plus cash flow some now. What have you been doing all this time? You knew this expense was coming.

What I’ve run across is people who assume state school will be as affordable as it was for their parents, coupled with some magical thinking that their DC will be the one to receive scholarships.

It would be better to understand sooner, but these are often households that can cash flow 30K for in state tuition.

But the flip side families spending willy nilly on private school, big houses, vacations, they do know what college costs and do tend to pay when the time comes. There’s some myth around here that these are the families posting, not IME.

If you have kids, shouldn't you know what college costs? Or do you assume you are going to be getting handouts? Most of us can not afford the latter.

I have never heard of a top school offering merit scholarships - some kids attend where they are accepted. Period. Which is fine, but don't try to tell people that they are attending because of scholarships that don't exist.

It’s crazy to me, but I think some parents really don’t know. I think it doesn’t seem important when kids are toddlers and then during school they always think “next year” they will deal with it and then time flies. In an area where so many people worry about activities and sports in preparation for college apps at such a young age, it’s hard to believe. And yet! I’ve seen parents post in my neighborhood FB group at the end of junior year asking about college tours and expressing shock at the cost of even local schools. My friend is a college counselor and she said even in Arlington / McLean / Falls Church she meets families who live in $2-3M houses who just didn’t plan or think about college at all until she gets a panicked call.

I had loans (a whopping $20k at 2% that I refinanced to nearly 0%). I think other parents of my generation may have experience the same and think “I had loans and it wasn’t so bad!”

Yes, I commented above, and this was my observation, too. (Our household is most the way through paying for college, so not explaining my own mindset.) I think the head in the sand, it will all work out approach, is more common in public schools. At least the private parents have been trained to write checks, and they know it will be bigger checks when college hits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had 18 years to save. Plus cash flow some now. What have you been doing all this time? You knew this expense was coming.

What I’ve run across is people who assume state school will be as affordable as it was for their parents, coupled with some magical thinking that their DC will be the one to receive scholarships.

It would be better to understand sooner, but these are often households that can cash flow 30K for in state tuition.

But the flip side families spending willy nilly on private school, big houses, vacations, they do know what college costs and do tend to pay when the time comes. There’s some myth around here that these are the families posting, not IME.

If you have kids, shouldn't you know what college costs? Or do you assume you are going to be getting handouts? Most of us can not afford the latter.

I have never heard of a top school offering merit scholarships - some kids attend where they are accepted. Period. Which is fine, but don't try to tell people that they are attending because of scholarships that don't exist.

It’s crazy to me, but I think some parents really don’t know. I think it doesn’t seem important when kids are toddlers and then during school they always think “next year” they will deal with it and then time flies. In an area where so many people worry about activities and sports in preparation for college apps at such a young age, it’s hard to believe. And yet! I’ve seen parents post in my neighborhood FB group at the end of junior year asking about college tours and expressing shock at the cost of even local schools. My friend is a college counselor and she said even in Arlington / McLean / Falls Church she meets families who live in $2-3M houses who just didn’t plan or think about college at all until she gets a panicked call.

I had loans (a whopping $20k at 2% that I refinanced to nearly 0%). I think other parents of my generation may have experience the same and think “I had loans and it wasn’t so bad!”

Yes, I commented above, and this was my observation, too. (Our household is most the way through paying for college, so not explaining my own mindset.) I think the head in the sand, it will all work out approach, is more common in public schools. At least the private parents have been trained to write checks, and they know it will be bigger checks when college hits.

The kind of person who can write checks for $50k a year for two or three kids K-12 really doesn't have to worry about the cost of college or even saving for it. They'll just pay out of current income. The people who can't afford private schools, it's not so much that they are "bad at planning" but their income doesn't go anywhere near as far and it is very hard for them to save significant sums. Especially if they have been paying for day care for their kids from birth through 6th grade, which is a very significant sum that could (if we lived in a different world) have gone a long way towards saving for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the Midwest in an area where going to college was the expectation, but very little prestige given to this school over that. People mostly went public.

But .. there was also an expectation that kids got cars over their own in their teen years (new, nice cars). People cared indeed about brand names. People got married pretty young, bought an home at 30, and had their 3 or 4 kids by the time they were in their mid 30.

My parents were east coast transplants and we had to use the family car when it was free and applied to colleges further afield. We all went to Ivy League schools (in the day when it wasn’t that hard for full pay kids).

And now I live in Brooklyn and see this mania up close.

But as I watch my Midwest friends repeating this cycle I think, that’s a better way. It’s weird how this college thing overtakes a childhood. My old friends had more kids, roomy houses, less financial stress, got a lake house in MI or WI, are on track for retirement, and their kids had carefree childhoods. They all have fulfilling jobs. Their kids will too.

Why do we do this?

This is so interesting. What do you think is going on?

Same. I actually think my senior DD would love the midwestern university in the town I grew up in. She has toured and does like it but is influenced by the culture here and thinks that because it has a high acceptance rate it isn’t as good as schools with a lower acceptance rate. She could just pick this school and enjoy her senior year and also enjoy her college experience.

She is correct in that her academic cohort at a lower ranked / acceptance rate college is definitely for the most part, going to be inferior, regardless of the standard of teaching / research at the college.

40% of kids at Williams, Amherst etc all recruited athletes. Why do people still buy this?

But Williams and Amherst are D3 which means they value academics and those athletes have to get in first. They're not dumb University of Alabama jocks. My DD was recruited at Johns Hopkins. The coach told her if she didn't have a 1460 SAT he couldn't even begin conversations with her. And conversations with her did not mean she'd get in. Just that he wasn't about to waste his time. These top LACs are like that with their athletes. She had to get a pre-read and then apply. These schools don't admit athletes who cannot cut it academically. You're thinking of D1 and D2.

Well that is unique to Hopkins or to your daughter. I know Ivy recruits this past year who were recruited with SATs well below 1400. I'm related to one. I know several others because I coach in the sport.

My kid was recruited at Carnegie Mellon and Swarthmore and they wanted top scores before they considered them

This was our experience with Williams too. And those top scores only got the coach to consider you, did not get you in, or get the coach to add you to the team.

when you say top scores, you mean top scores at these schools? or do you mean they need to see average SAT scores for the school, which is well over 1500. (at our private school, you get a 1500 and you're told to take it again if you want these kinds of schools).

we have a country full of musicians and actors and math kids and kids who hold down real jobs that would love to have been told, you have to meet the average SAT scores before you get a tip. yeah, bring that on.

I mean the Williams coach had a number in mind that was a minimum needed to keep talking to my DD. DD had a 1560 so we were good. I don't recall what the number was but she might remember. I don't think it was over 1500 but I could be wrong. I thought it was in the high 1400s because I recall a conversation about GPA being more important as it covers 4 years than a day snapshot, but that SAT/ACT still mattered.

[Anonymous]

I think private school parents are used to writing $50 K/year checks per kid per year so this just becomes a $20-30 K/year add on when college hits.

[Anonymous]

We have an only child so we can do this and have planned accordingly.

[Anonymous]

How does $210 a month for several years in a 529 plan get you to affording 80k/year? Most 529 plan offerings aren’t that aggressive. We have a 529 plan that we started 10 years ago at 500/mo and now at 1500/mo. The balance now is nowhere near 320k and not will be in 4 years when DS starts college!

[Anonymous]

I tend to agree with the “they can say they are need blind until they are blue in the face…” person. Life is full of policies that are broken on a regular basis. No-pet apartment buildings have pets all over. The speed limit is 70 mph. No smoking/drinking/drug use in dorms. Cabinet members & members of congress can’t use inside information to trade stocks. Classified documents shouldn’t be stored in your mansion or your garage. Professors can’t. date students. Employees must wash hands after using restrooms. The CIA doesn’t operate on US soil. In the old days football stars weren’t getting paid. Now race isn’t used in admissions (wink wink). Need blind seems like one of those things they claim just to keep the peasants out of the moat. But we’re supposed to believe THIS policy is the ONE everyone follows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does $210 a month for several years in a 529 plan get you to affording 80k/year? Most 529 plan offerings aren’t that aggressive. We have a 529 plan that we started 10 years ago at 500/mo and now at 1500/mo. The balance now is nowhere near 320k and not will be in 4 years when DS starts college!

We save about $3000 per month, per kid. Since we bring in $40k per month, and live in a house we bought for $500k, the finances work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the Midwest in an area where going to college was the expectation, but very little prestige given to this school over that. People mostly went public.

But .. there was also an expectation that kids got cars over their own in their teen years (new, nice cars). People cared indeed about brand names. People got married pretty young, bought an home at 30, and had their 3 or 4 kids by the time they were in their mid 30.

My parents were east coast transplants and we had to use the family car when it was free and applied to colleges further afield. We all went to Ivy League schools (in the day when it wasn’t that hard for full pay kids).

And now I live in Brooklyn and see this mania up close.

But as I watch my Midwest friends repeating this cycle I think, that’s a better way. It’s weird how this college thing overtakes a childhood. My old friends had more kids, roomy houses, less financial stress, got a lake house in MI or WI, are on track for retirement, and their kids had carefree childhoods. They all have fulfilling jobs. Their kids will too.

Why do we do this?

This is so interesting. What do you think is going on?

Same. I actually think my senior DD would love the midwestern university in the town I grew up in. She has toured and does like it but is influenced by the culture here and thinks that because it has a high acceptance rate it isn’t as good as schools with a lower acceptance rate. She could just pick this school and enjoy her senior year and also enjoy her college experience.

She is correct in that her academic cohort at a lower ranked / acceptance rate college is definitely for the most part, going to be inferior, regardless of the standard of teaching / research at the college.

You are completely wrong about this. Most students attend the big school in their hometown or state no matter how smart they are. It is ridiculous to assume that the kids who chose their state college with a high acceptance rate are therefore all less intelligent than the handful of kids who got pulled from the lottery pool of applicants to a college with a tiny number of seats.

Having hired a lot of kids straight out of college, I can attest that this is true. Many students accepted to the Ivy League are average smart kids who are grinders and have good organizational skills. There’s this myth that they’re all brilliant, and it’s just not true. In fact, I’d say the resume that gets you into an Ivy these days is likely to screen out the brilliant kid who has a burning intellectual interest in one area, but really doesn’t care about making a 100% in an area they aren’t interested in. Ivy’s say they want “pointy” kids, but they really don’t. The only group it seems true of is MIT PhDs. Other than that, I know more truly brilliant people who went to lower ranked schools.

Pointy v. well rounded are not consistently defined - and also definitions of each vary per school, and different schools value different levels of each. To say one school prefers one or the other is to not know what really happens behind closed doors (admissions).

The proof is in the pudding.

Say wut?

Don’t look at what they say, look at who they accept.

That is exactly what I am saying - I know who is accepted.

NP here. Do you really know STEM-oriented kids with Bs in high school English who’ve been accepted to Ivies? Because that’s what the PP is talking about.

I’m the PP with a DD who I think would love the university in my hometown. So many smart people from my high school went there and they are all successful now.

I don’t know who wrote the first post in this thread, but it could have been me because it describes my experience growing up in Ohio. 2/3 of my HS class went to college and 1/3 went to Home Town U.

There is a subtle sort of privilege that many in DCUM-land don’t see or understand that comes from living in the same small or mid-size city your whole life, especially when your parents also grew up and went to college there. I too have many peers who are quite successful having gone to non-flagship state schools or small regionally known LACs. The people I know who are most successful are either entrepreneurs, took over a family business, or have risen through the ranks at local banks and manufacturers. The start up capital for their businesses, the established family business with little competition, the connections to get started - a lot of that came from community ties and family reputation.

I don’t think people in NoVA are less community oriented, it’s just bigger and it feels like people have broader and shallower networks. Sure there are rich kids whose dad’s golf buddy will give them an internship, but where I grow up it’s the middle class kids who get that help too - like having your dad’s hunting buddies each chip in $2-5k so you can buy a muffler shop or take over the pizza joint when your girlfriend’s dad wants to retire and none of his kids want the business. The junior loan officer at the credit union is someone you went to HS with or the manager who approves the loan is your mom’s friend. It’s knowing enough blue collar guys that you can get drywall or painting done cheap or free.

It’s a nice fantasy that some NoVa kid will show up in semi-rural Midwest for college and build a great life there. It’s not impossible, it’s just a different kind of privilege you can’t buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny you should ask this OP.

When I hit “submit payment” and a link to deduct $42,650 from our bank account last Tuesday- for ONE SEMESTER- I had the same thought. Who in their right mind really does this?

1) those with over $20MM in the bank, 2) those with paying grandpas

Nope. HHI $230, have been saving since the children were little (started with $210/month for maxium tax benefit, as our income went up we did a little but more, plus bonus money, etc). DC 1 got merit aid, so very inexpensive, will have funds leftover for grad school. DC 2, attending am over $80k per year private, will be a stretch for us, between 529 and cash flow - there will be nothing left for grad school, they will need to pay on their own.

And, we don't go abroad for vacation, drive 10+ year old cars until they die, etc). We've made education a priority

So that your kids can take budget vacations and drive beater cars while making education a priority for their kids too?

So what if they do? DP here. They are not trying to keep up with the likes of you, and that is what is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny you should ask this OP.

When I hit “submit payment” and a link to deduct $42,650 from our bank account last Tuesday- for ONE SEMESTER- I had the same thought. Who in their right mind really does this?

1) those with over $20MM in the bank, 2) those with paying grandpas

Nope. HHI $230, have been saving since the children were little (started with $210/month for maxium tax benefit, as our income went up we did a little but more, plus bonus money, etc). DC 1 got merit aid, so very inexpensive, will have funds leftover for grad school. DC 2, attending am over $80k per year private, will be a stretch for us, between 529 and cash flow - there will be nothing left for grad school, they will need to pay on their own.

And, we don't go abroad for vacation, drive 10+ year old cars until they die, etc). We've made education a priority

So that your kids can take budget vacations and drive beater cars while making education a priority for their kids too?

So what if they do? DP here. They are not trying to keep up with the likes of you, and that is what is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm realizing that the top 50 or so schools are all about $80K+ and none of them offer merit aid, outside of maybe CWRU.
The rest have 20-50 full-ride scholarships for their most elite students but that's pretty much it for merit aid.
Then of course there is UVA and W&M which are instate. And UMD which is ranked just above 50.
We've in DC so none of these in-states are particularly relevant.


So all this constant chatter about this or that top50 school----are you all paying the $80K/+year sticker price(s)?

College is around the corner for us and I'm realizing that yes indeed, they're all about that much. Guess I knew that in theory but it's another thing
entirely to think "huh, they're asking $360K for undergrad. Are we really going to pay it?"
Sobering.
Are people really paying it?

OP, what is the question? Is the question what other people have in their bank accounts? Because this question is asked, in one form or another, about each week.

If the question is how to pay for your kid's college, then you look at your bank account, and you decide from there. If you did not save, your kid gets to choose from where you can afford.

Not that difficult to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does $210 a month for several years in a 529 plan get you to affording 80k/year? Most 529 plan offerings aren’t that aggressive. We have a 529 plan that we started 10 years ago at 500/mo and now at 1500/mo. The balance now is nowhere near 320k and not will be in 4 years when DS starts college!

We save about $3000 per month, per kid. Since we bring in $40k per month, and live in a house we bought for $500k, the finances work out.

At your income level (likely north of 600k) you can even pay as you go. I was talking about the PP who mentioned saving $200/mo or so in a 529. 400k over 4 years is a lot by any objective view. And for DC residents even state schools aren’t much of a bargain.