Reply to Does everyone on here with kids applying to top 50 schools really have the $80K per year to spend?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up in the Midwest in an area where going to college was the expectation, but very little prestige given to this school over that. People mostly went public.

But .. there was also an expectation that kids got cars over their own in their teen years (new, nice cars). People cared indeed about brand names. People got married pretty young, bought an home at 30,  and had their 3 or 4 kids by the time they were in their mid 30.

My parents were east coast transplants and we had to use the family car when it was free and applied to colleges further afield. We all went to Ivy League schools (in the day when it wasn’t that hard for full pay kids).

And now I live in Brooklyn and see this mania up close.

But as I watch my Midwest friends repeating this cycle I think, that’s a better way.  It’s weird how this college thing overtakes a childhood. My old friends had more kids, roomy houses, less financial stress, got a lake house in MI or WI, are on track for retirement, and their kids had carefree childhoods. They all have fulfilling jobs. Their kids will too.

Why do we do this?[/quote]
 
This is so interesting. What do you think is going on? [/quote]

Same. I actually think my senior DD would love the midwestern university in the town I grew up in. She has toured and does like it but is influenced by the culture here and thinks that because it has a high acceptance rate it isn’t as good as schools with a lower acceptance rate.  She could just pick this school and enjoy her senior year and also enjoy her college experience.  [/quote]

She is correct in that her academic cohort at a lower ranked / acceptance rate college is definitely for the most part, going to be inferior, regardless of the standard of teaching / research at the college. [/quote]

You are completely wrong about this. Most students attend the big school in their hometown or state no matter how smart they are. It is ridiculous to assume that the kids who chose their state college with a high acceptance rate are therefore all less intelligent than the handful of kids who got pulled from the lottery pool of applicants to a college with a tiny number of seats.[/quote]

Having hired a lot of kids straight out of college, I can attest that this is true. Many students accepted to the Ivy League are average smart kids who are grinders and have good organizational skills. There’s this myth that they’re all brilliant, and it’s just not true. In fact, I’d say the resume that gets you into an Ivy these days is likely to screen out the brilliant kid who has a burning intellectual interest in one area, but really doesn’t care about making a 100% in an area they aren’t interested in. Ivy’s say they want “pointy” kids, but they really don’t. The only group it seems true of is MIT PhDs. Other than that, I know more truly brilliant people who went to lower ranked schools. [/quote]

Pointy v. well rounded are not consistently defined - and also definitions of each vary per school, and different schools value different levels of each. To say one school prefers one or the other is to not know what really happens behind closed doors (admissions). [/quote]

The proof is in the pudding. [/quote]

Say wut?[/quote]

Don’t look at what they say, look at who they accept. [/quote]

That is exactly what I am saying - I know who is accepted. [/quote]

NP here. Do you really know STEM-oriented kids with Bs in high school English who’ve been accepted to Ivies? Because that’s what the PP is talking about. [/quote]

I’m the PP with a DD who I think would love the university in my hometown. So many smart people from my high school went there and they are all successful now.  [/quote]

I don’t know who wrote the first post in this thread, but it could have been me because it describes my experience growing up in Ohio. 2/3 of my HS class went to college and 1/3 went to Home Town U.

There is a subtle sort of privilege that many in DCUM-land don’t see or understand that comes from living in the same small or mid-size city your whole life, especially when your parents also grew up and went to college there. I too have many peers who are quite successful having gone to non-flagship state schools or small regionally known LACs. The people I know who are most successful are either entrepreneurs, took over a family business, or have risen through the ranks at local banks and manufacturers. The start up capital for their businesses, the established family business with little competition, the connections to get started - a lot of that came from community ties and family reputation.

I don’t think people in NoVA are less community oriented, it’s just bigger and it feels like people have broader and shallower networks. Sure there are rich kids whose dad’s golf buddy will give them an internship, but where I grow up it’s the middle class kids who get that help too - like having your dad’s hunting buddies each chip in $2-5k so you can buy a muffler shop or take over the pizza joint when your girlfriend’s dad wants to retire and none of his kids want the business. The junior loan officer at the credit union is someone you went to HS with or the manager who approves the loan is your mom’s friend. It’s knowing enough blue collar guys that you can get drywall or painting done cheap or free.

It’s a nice fantasy that some NoVa kid will show up in semi-rural Midwest for college and build a great life there. It’s not impossible, it’s just a different kind of privilege you can’t buy. 
[/quote]

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