No playdates because other siblings won't have a friend

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Hang on. We’re a multi-child family, but the kids need play dates. Apparently kids generally need at a minimum 1-2 play dates a week of a minimum of 2 hrs each. https://blog.lowellschool.org/blog/ups-and-downs-of-friendship-in-elementary-school. The kids don’t need their mothers at the play dates, nor should they be mean to siblings, but they don’t not need friends.

+1. OP -- all these comments from people saying that multi-kid families don't care about playdates absolutely does NOT track with my IRL experience now that my kids are in elementary. This multi-kid family does playdates (and sees value in them) regularly. My kids love having their friends over.

Seriously, I'm wondering how some of these PP's kids are going to survive in college and adulthood when they have to socialize with people other than their siblings!

Many kids are doing this all the time -- school, playing at aftercare, sports teams and other activities... So sibling/family time can be a weekend priority. Doesn't mean "no playdates" but it's kid and family dependent in terms of how important ppl think that is.

As PPs pointed out, there's a big difference between adult-organized structured activities and unstructured hanging out with friends outside the family. The latter is a skill to cultivate for good mental health and success in life.

But that's what aftercare often is - at ours the default is kids hanging out at the playground next to our elementary schools it's not structured (there aren't enough adults to make it so!)

If your kids are still in aftercare, they're probably pre-K to early elementary. The social dynamics are different when hanging out at someone's house than at the playground, particularly under adult supervision (even if minimal). You'll see when your kids get older.

OP has a 7yo. This chain is about early elementary.

OP is long gone. This thread is one PP responding to another.

Helpful advice to OP - move to drop off play dates, teach your DD to be kind to siblings if you want her to be invited a second time, and learn to live with being the initiator and doing most of the hosting.

Not helpful advice to OP or anyone - siblings don’t need play dates because they have each other for friends, only children can’t get along and are doomed when they go to college.

Helpful advice to everyone - socialize your kids, teach and practice kindness, don’t generalize based on stereotypes.

+1