Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Also, pro adoption mom, you should open your eyes and ears. Lots of adoptees feel like me.
So you'd rather be dead?
I'm someone who aged out of the system and yes, there are many times when I believed it would have been better for my birth mother to have aborted me rather than go through with the pregnancy. But that's what happens when a crack addict who is not all there in the head has a kid. It took a lot of therapy to understand those feelings and deal with them. I still believe that. I'd never wish my childhood life of ANY person.
I went into the system fulltime at age 6. Even though I was white with blonde hair & blue eyes, the most desired of all adoptable kids, I was way too damaged to ever be seriously considered adoptable. First of all, I was ancient at 6 years old. Second of all, I had been born addicted to drugs. Thirdly, I had gone into the system once previously due to severe neglect and had been labeled a failure to thrive.
My life was bouncing between foster homes and building up so much internal hatred for everyone and everything around me. I was a big ball of hate and rage until age 13 when my new case worker told me that if I kept it up, I'd be dead by 18 and prove everyone who'd said something negative about me right. There was something about her that resonated with me when others had not. She saved me. I got my shit together in school and took the anger management courses I had been assigned seriously (after not taking them seriously the first time). I got some therapy, too, which helped, but definitely not as much as I needed back then.
Every damn day of my life from age birth to 20 was a struggle just to survive. It wasn't until age 20 that things started to really turn around for me... I had made my own family through friends, I had places to go to during school breaks, I landed a great job that paid well and allowed me to do my schoolwork during the downtime so I was able to start really saving some money, etc. I mean, my life wasn't great like it is now and I did still struggle, but instead of feeling like I was treading water and the bottom of my lip was halfway underwater, it felt like my whole neck was out of the water and that was the first time I'd ever felt that way.
I get so angry when I hear people say "there's always adoption!" because that's a big f#cking lie. If you're not white, perfectly healthy, and under age 1, your chances of getting adopted dwindle each year.
I'm here to tell you that what comes after a forced pregnancy is NOT adoption. It's a big ass nightmarish struggle that will break almost all people.