The divide gets bigger as you get older...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As one of people who chose a lower paying career, I can say that

(1) yes, this divide exists, but it is up to you to decide how much you care. Do I care that I drive a Toyota while one of my best friends drives a Maserati? I do not. Do I care that he goes to Vail and Paris and Hawaii, while I go to Whitetop, and Boston and Rehoboth? I do not.

(2) People can be rich and not be jerks - my rich friends are generally great people, and don't flaunt their wealth or act like they are better than me because of their wealth.

(3) Wealth cannot buy respect - and my rich friends respect the decisions I've made and the way I live my life.

You sound super cool!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read every page of this thread, but when I worked part time, some of my full time colleagues resented me because I could afford to spend more time with my kids (or so they assumed). I got a lot of digs about my “wealth” and even some competitive remarks like, “I choose to work full time even though I don’t have to, because I am more invested in my work than you are.” They would never ask me questions about my life at all, and they were mean and didn’t welcome me or really even give me a chance. If they had asked, they would have learned that I was only part time there because that was all that was available at the time, and I was hoping to break into that field. These coworkers had manufactured the wealth divide in their own minds, as I actually supplemented my income by working part time somewhere else. I didn’t advertise that, however, because I realized pretty quickly that it was actually a very handy way to see people’s true colors. I did eventually get the full time job I wanted in that same field, but I didn’t keep in touch with the old coworkers who judged and dismissed me. To their detriment, I might add. I’m now in a position to help them advance their careers. I recognize that jealousy is a human emotion, but I try to be happy for everyone, regardless of their wealth or opportunity.

True. Envy is more rampant than I realized.

It’s extremely rampant. I’ve figured out that you can’t disclose anything revealing wealth when posting something on the internet and wanting advice. If you let on thag you have a high HHI, baby nurse, etc then all bets are off and the responses you get will be heavily influenced by envy. People get incredibly jealous especially when it’s about $$$$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup.

This is why it’s important to let people itemize the bill when you go out. Don’t be one of those wealthier friends who insist it’s all comes out in the wash and it’s easier to split.

-nonprofit attorney with lots of big law friends

So you expect others to pay for you because they make more money?

[Anonymous]

As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup.

This is why it’s important to let people itemize the bill when you go out. Don’t be one of those wealthier friends who insist it’s all comes out in the wash and it’s easier to split.

-nonprofit attorney with lots of big law friends

So you expect others to pay for you because they make more money?

DP here. No. Itemizing is the opposite - it means you only pay for what you ordered. You can skip dessert or alcohol and others can feel free to order to their heart’s content. I prefer to itemize because I don’t eat dessert or drink alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

I can’t wait for this. We are frugal but will retire early. For us that is the true luxury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Good friends retiring at 55 and 53, husband and wife. $2m home paid off, kids out of college and independent, healthy investments of stock and RE, and annual $250k income (guaranteed).
Very happy for them…they won the race. Hoping we can get out in early 60s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And yet DCUM denigrates the pre professional schools at Penn Georgetown Northeastern in favor of SLACs. It’s all daisies and unicorns to be so idealist in when you are young, until you are 35 and your peers are making 3-5x more than you do….. this is exactly why I told my DC to pursue CS or Business. Let someone else try to save the world, the trees and the whales. In the real world, living real life, with two kids and a mortgage, It’s about making money.

In the real world, climate change is wreaking havoc on the world, and it will get very much worse.

Also, I’m not sure who you imagine is doing the work required to “save the world”, but most of that work is done by scientists and engineers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Good friends retiring at 55 and 53, husband and wife. $2m home paid off, kids out of college and independent, healthy investments of stock and RE, and annual $250k income (guaranteed).
Very happy for them…they won the race. Hoping we can get out in early 60s.

I am an older millennial. I suspect we won't have this problem the way older generations did. Either you have family wealth or you don't and where we are, you already know who has it. I know very few "self-made" people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Good friends retiring at 55 and 53, husband and wife. $2m home paid off, kids out of college and independent, healthy investments of stock and RE, and annual $250k income (guaranteed).
Very happy for them…they won the race. Hoping we can get out in early 60s.

I am an older millennial. I suspect we won't have this problem the way older generations did. Either you have family wealth or you don't and where we are, you already know who has it. I know very few "self-made" people.

DP.. you are still pretty young.

For us, the divide is not only income, but age of kids. Most of my friends have kids about my kids' ages. But, I have one friend who had kids much later. Their kids are still in ES. Mine are in HS. In four years, I will be an empty nester, while my friend is still dealing with PTSAs. We plan on retiring in four years and traveling outside of peak summer time, like we used to pre-kids. My friend is stuck traveling around summer, like we used to be. We talked about traveling together, but they have a lot longer to go before they can travel like we hope to.

Another friend was a sahm for 15 years, just went back into the workforce as her youngest hit HS. Because they were single income for 15 years, they haven't been saving for retirement like we have been. So even when they become empty nesters in 2 years, they will have to continue working until 65 to save more now for retirement.

Yes, different life choices lead to a divide later on in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I reject Ivy leaguers from jobs all day. My favorite hires are usually state school honors program kids. Bright, realistic, and hungry!

This is who our hiring panels favor as well. The Ivies are almost disadvantaged at our firm.

We are a 6B investment firm and we are the same way. Very little ivy leaguers. Too rigid and sometimes lack the social awareness our job entails.

Mmm-hmm.

Do you not agree? Many Ivy Leaguers are brilliant but they can be a bit too "bookish" and lack good interpersonal skills. Just because someone is brilliant doesn't mean they will do well in a specific role..takes more than brains sometimes.

Whenever I hear "many people from a background X lack good interpersonal skills", I know who is lacking. That's regardless of what X is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Good friends retiring at 55 and 53, husband and wife. $2m home paid off, kids out of college and independent, healthy investments of stock and RE, and annual $250k income (guaranteed).
Very happy for them…they won the race. Hoping we can get out in early 60s.

I am an older millennial. I suspect we won't have this problem the way older generations did. Either you have family wealth or you don't and where we are, you already know who has it. I know very few "self-made" people.

DP.. you are still pretty young.

For us, the divide is not only income, but age of kids. Most of my friends have kids about my kids' ages. But, I have one friend who had kids much later. Their kids are still in ES. Mine are in HS. In four years, I will be an empty nester, while my friend is still dealing with PTSAs. We plan on retiring in four years and traveling outside of peak summer time, like we used to pre-kids. My friend is stuck traveling around summer, like we used to be. We talked about traveling together, but they have a lot longer to go before they can travel like we hope to.

Another friend was a sahm for 15 years, just went back into the workforce as her youngest hit HS. Because they were single income for 15 years, they haven't been saving for retirement like we have been. So even when they become empty nesters in 2 years, they will have to continue working until 65 to save more now for retirement.

Yes, different life choices lead to a divide later on in life.

Late 30s/early 40s means I am NOT pretty young. I have already run into very quiet reminders of my age at work. The point I was trying to make is that we all had our kids later, we all bought houses later (if we were lucky), we all have student debt--the people who made it, made it. My generation isn't going to retire. I don't care what you say about the fact I save over 10 percent of my salary with matching since I was 22 and I have multiple grad degrees. I don't know why the older generations don't get that we live on a different world and not a better one. I even worry about inheritances that millennials are supposed to get because that money will be gone from high health care and elder care expenses. That great transfer of wealth happened already (via trust funds) or it is not going to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I reject Ivy leaguers from jobs all day. My favorite hires are usually state school honors program kids. Bright, realistic, and hungry!

This is who our hiring panels favor as well. The Ivies are almost disadvantaged at our firm.

We are a 6B investment firm and we are the same way. Very little ivy leaguers. Too rigid and sometimes lack the social awareness our job entails.

Mmm-hmm.

Do you not agree? Many Ivy Leaguers are brilliant but they can be a bit too "bookish" and lack good interpersonal skills. Just because someone is brilliant doesn't mean they will do well in a specific role..takes more than brains sometimes.

Whenever I hear "many people from a background X lack good interpersonal skills", I know who is lacking. That's regardless of what X is.

How can you say this? Do you really think a genius MIT computer scientist would do well generating PE deals? Or selling medical devices? Or in Commercial RE? Just like the PE guy would be a total clown in computer science field? Your book smarts are far less valuable in MOST professional careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Good friends retiring at 55 and 53, husband and wife. $2m home paid off, kids out of college and independent, healthy investments of stock and RE, and annual $250k income (guaranteed).
Very happy for them…they won the race. Hoping we can get out in early 60s.

I am an older millennial. I suspect we won't have this problem the way older generations did. Either you have family wealth or you don't and where we are, you already know who has it. I know very few "self-made" people.

DP.. you are still pretty young.

For us, the divide is not only income, but age of kids. Most of my friends have kids about my kids' ages. But, I have one friend who had kids much later. Their kids are still in ES. Mine are in HS. In four years, I will be an empty nester, while my friend is still dealing with PTSAs. We plan on retiring in four years and traveling outside of peak summer time, like we used to pre-kids. My friend is stuck traveling around summer, like we used to be. We talked about traveling together, but they have a lot longer to go before they can travel like we hope to.

Another friend was a sahm for 15 years, just went back into the workforce as her youngest hit HS. Because they were single income for 15 years, they haven't been saving for retirement like we have been. So even when they become empty nesters in 2 years, they will have to continue working until 65 to save more now for retirement.

Yes, different life choices lead to a divide later on in life.

Late 30s/early 40s means I am NOT pretty young. I have already run into very quiet reminders of my age at work. The point I was trying to make is that we all had our kids later, we all bought houses later (if we were lucky), we all have student debt--the people who made it, made it. My generation isn't going to retire. I don't care what you say about the fact I save over 10 percent of my salary with matching since I was 22 and I have multiple grad degrees. I don't know why the older generations don't get that we live on a different world and not a better one. I even worry about inheritances that millennials are supposed to get because that money will be gone from high health care and elder care expenses. That great transfer of wealth happened already (via trust funds) or it is not going to happen.

The "Great Wealth Transfer" isn't even close to happening. The boomer parents are now inheriting their parent's wealth. The millennials won't see that money for 10 - 20 + years. Once that happens it will further exacerbate this divide.

Let's say I stand to inherit 5M+ in 15 - 20 years. That amount will grow because most people with wealth planner for healthcare issues (long term care insurance, HSAs, etc). DW and I have great salaries and are already ahead of the curve by a long shot. If in 15 years I get a $5M+ tax free inheritance, on top of what we've already accumulated, I would be less than 50yrs old and could probably retire.

Another Millennial couple may make way more than us but with no chance of inheritances and the likelihood to need to assist their parents financially will probably need to work well into their 60s.

I agree that it's not fair.

You'll see the gap occur when those who inherit money surprisingly quit their high paying jobs in their early 50s to work in a low stress environment or volunteer. My goal is to do just that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 50-something, I’m finding the ultimate divide is when you start seeing people announcing retirements in their 50s. They go on to sit on boards or serve as trustees of institutions. Some of it may be requiring different levels of money to feel comfortable retiring, but being able to leave the corporate grind in your 50s is winning.

This. Good friends retiring at 55 and 53, husband and wife. $2m home paid off, kids out of college and independent, healthy investments of stock and RE, and annual $250k income (guaranteed).
Very happy for them…they won the race. Hoping we can get out in early 60s.

I am an older millennial. I suspect we won't have this problem the way older generations did. Either you have family wealth or you don't and where we are, you already know who has it. I know very few "self-made" people.

DP.. you are still pretty young.

For us, the divide is not only income, but age of kids. Most of my friends have kids about my kids' ages. But, I have one friend who had kids much later. Their kids are still in ES. Mine are in HS. In four years, I will be an empty nester, while my friend is still dealing with PTSAs. We plan on retiring in four years and traveling outside of peak summer time, like we used to pre-kids. My friend is stuck traveling around summer, like we used to be. We talked about traveling together, but they have a lot longer to go before they can travel like we hope to.

Another friend was a sahm for 15 years, just went back into the workforce as her youngest hit HS. Because they were single income for 15 years, they haven't been saving for retirement like we have been. So even when they become empty nesters in 2 years, they will have to continue working until 65 to save more now for retirement.

Yes, different life choices lead to a divide later on in life.

Late 30s/early 40s means I am NOT pretty young. I have already run into very quiet reminders of my age at work. The point I was trying to make is that we all had our kids later, we all bought houses later (if we were lucky), we all have student debt--the people who made it, made it. My generation isn't going to retire. I don't care what you say about the fact I save over 10 percent of my salary with matching since I was 22 and I have multiple grad degrees. I don't know why the older generations don't get that we live on a different world and not a better one. I even worry about inheritances that millennials are supposed to get because that money will be gone from high health care and elder care expenses. That great transfer of wealth happened already (via trust funds) or it is not going to happen.

The "Great Wealth Transfer" isn't even close to happening. The boomer parents are now inheriting their parent's wealth. The millennials won't see that money for 10 - 20 + years. Once that happens it will further exacerbate this divide.

Let's say I stand to inherit 5M+ in 15 - 20 years. That amount will grow because most people with wealth planner for healthcare issues (long term care insurance, HSAs, etc). DW and I have great salaries and are already ahead of the curve by a long shot. If in 15 years I get a $5M+ tax free inheritance, on top of what we've already accumulated, I would be less than 50yrs old and could probably retire.

Another Millennial couple may make way more than us but with no chance of inheritances and the likelihood to need to assist their parents financially will probably need to work well into their 60s.

I agree that it's not fair.

You'll see the gap occur when those who inherit money surprisingly quit their high paying jobs in their early 50s to work in a low stress environment or volunteer. My goal is to do just that!

I'm the ^PP. We will have zero wealth transfer from our parents. I grew up to L/MC parents who are now living on social security.

IMO, I think a lot of millenials compare themselves too much to Genxers. I had kids much later in life, and so some of the parents I got to know are a decade younger than me. They see how we live and think they should live the same. Um. no. When I was in my 30s, I was still building my wealth.