Relocating to DC...what's life like?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP, you won't get the pace of HK or London in DC, even in the most urban parts. I grew up here and think it gets bashed unnecessarily, but it's not a very big city. That said, the wealthier neighborhoods are much more of a pressure cooker than the Midwest (I went to college in Chicago and spent about 7 years there total). So, if you want to avoid that you can, but then you have to be prepared for people to tell you your kids' schools suck, blah blah. NWDC is lovely and friendly to people who can afford to live there. But maybe that's a good middle ground between where you are now and the excitement you've had in the past?

Thanks so much and love the comparison to the larger cities. Probably a good thing to have less of a buzz with small kids. I just fondly remember living in the international cities, but that was all pre-kids. We've tried to make the Midwest work. We've lived in five houses in seven years LOL, but we are just bored. We joke that our weekends involve driving to shopping centers or anywhere else. Just living in the car, which I hate. So boring and winter lasts more than half of the year!

No it does not. It lasts from December to March, just like anywhere else.

Haha just sarcasm. It does take a while to get warm, though

April.

[Anonymous]

Based on what I’ve read, as a SAHM and given your kids’ ages, I think you would like DC for a few short years and then be headed out for the suburbs (for schools, safety, space, etc.). Good luck with your decision!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on what I’ve read, as a SAHM and given your kids’ ages, I think you would like DC for a few short years and then be headed out for the suburbs (for schools, safety, space, etc.). Good luck with your decision!

Lots to think about now after reading today's posts. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you won't get the pace of HK or London in DC, even in the most urban parts. I grew up here and think it gets bashed unnecessarily, but it's not a very big city. That said, the wealthier neighborhoods are much more of a pressure cooker than the Midwest (I went to college in Chicago and spent about 7 years there total). So, if you want to avoid that you can, but then you have to be prepared for people to tell you your kids' schools suck, blah blah. NWDC is lovely and friendly to people who can afford to live there. But maybe that's a good middle ground between where you are now and the excitement you've had in the past?

Thanks so much and love the comparison to the larger cities. Probably a good thing to have less of a buzz with small kids. I just fondly remember living in the international cities, but that was all pre-kids. We've tried to make the Midwest work. We've lived in five houses in seven years LOL, but we are just bored. We joke that our weekends involve driving to shopping centers or anywhere else. Just living in the car, which I hate. So boring and winter lasts more than half of the year!

girl, you chose to live in New Berlin!!! I'm not sure what you expected.

Haha fair point. Long story, but we're finally ready to get back to what we've been missing!

New Berlin has an amazing Target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t move expecting DC to impress you or offer what a city like London or HK has to offer.

And compared to Milwaukee?

Milwaukee is much better than DC in so many ways. It feels like a European city, with beautiful parks by the lake, fun events, and a genuine, good vibe. It could take years to explore it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,

We are likely relocating to DC in the summer 2022 from Wisconsin. We have lived in several cities before, including Hong Kong and London, however, each city has their vibe. Can anyone share what the overall feeling is in the district, such as is it friendly, fast-paced, open to meeting transplants, kid-friendly, etc. What should I be aware of before coming? Will probably focus on finding a house in NW quadrant for kid's schools.

Thanks!

OP, I really truly wish you the best. I, myself, am from the midwest and have met many midwesterners in DC. The area is full of transplants...but no...it's not a friendly area by any definition.

I don't think you can say that about everyone. Maybe it is where you are that they aren't friendly?

Also, people from the midwest maybe friendly but, they never really let you in.

Ding. This has been my experience. Many people from the Midwest drive like maniacs and are weird, including my former doctor. DC is a multicultural city, with decent restaurants, wonderful museums, green spaces but it’s not easy at all to build friendships. People come and go.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been following this thread with interest.

Not one poster so far has recommended that you move into the heart of the city and put your elementary school aged children in one of the downtown schools and give you and them any exposure to real city living and diversity. For $1.8 million you could buy a very nice rowhome in Logan Circle or Shaw or Dupont. You could walk to absolutely everything. You could stoop on your front porch and meet your neighbors. You could put your kids in schools where there's real socioeconomic and racial diversity. In short, you could have a real DC experience.

The NW neighborhoods that other posters are recommending are for all practical purposes suburbs -- and rich ones at that. There was a firestorm on this website a few months ago after a couple of researchers at Brookings studied DCUM postings and concluded that it perpetuated segregation in the DC public school system by steering parents towards the richest and whitest schools in the city. What I'm seeing here is Exhibit A.

Take a chance, OP. You're smart, educated, and being a SAHM have time to watch over things and get involved. Your kids would thrive in a more diverse environment than what these folks have been pushing on you and be so much better off for it. Don't move to DC just to wall your kids off into the vanilla experience that DCUM is pushing on you.

+1 to all of this. If you can afford to live in Dupont/Logan/Shaw, the walkable/bikeable quality f life is fantastic.

I agree with this suggestion BUT don’t entirely understand why OP needs to relocate to a completely different part of the country. Surely there are urban walkable neighborhoods in Chicago? Why uproot your family and move again? It takes years to put down roots. OP mentions she has moved countless times with is a red flag to me. These types are often looking for the move to solve problems that it never does.

OP - sounds like you dislike the suburbs and driving around. I get it. Simply move to a neighborhood nearby where you have greater walkability. You can avoid relocating to a different part of the US.

OP here - Agree and Chicago is a great city, however, we don't like Chicago Public Schools (maybe Lincoln Park is OK) or the astronomical property taxes. Completely understand your "red flag" comment. I'm sick of moving, however, in the past, we made quick decisions to relocate without fully researching. Our kids remained in the same daycare throughout, so their world really wasn't impacted too heavily. I think the reason for our moving is that we keep trying to force the Midwest lifestyle upon ourselves, but there is something missing in our view. In the Chicago area, we lived in Lake County and we barely made it into the city. In Wisconsin, we live in the suburbs. There is nothing wrong with our house and subdevelopment. Lots of kids, good enough schools, etc., but we aren't really Packers/Brewers/Bucks fans, hunters, fisherman, campers, etc., so we really haven't found our "groove" here. There is a lot of great stuff about this state, but, we struggle to adopt the hobbies that most of the residents enjoy. Maybe we are just lacking knowledge on our state, but a more urban living environment and warmer weather are enticing to us. Really appreciate your post as it pushes me to keep thinking and researching where we do want to "put down roots". We only want to make one more move, if at all, as it gets tough for relationship building (kids and adults)

dp. Have you ever actually been to Milwaukee? I mean the actual city, not a far away suburb. Heck, have you ever been to Wauwatosa, a closer in suburb, with an urban, walkable feel in parts? It really sounds like you’re living in the wrong location, given your description above. Having said that, if your spouse is traveling to DC multiple times a month it’s worth checking out a potential move. Recognize, though, that you’ll likely end up in nova.

OP here - Yes, we have friends in Tosa, we visited MKE more often before COVID, have eaten at various restaurants downtown (not chain and I'll admit, MKE has some great food), etc. Again, Wisco isn't a bad place. I'm not here to talk negatively about it. I only wanted information on DC. DH and I enjoy a more urban lifestyle, that's all. Yes, our current location likely isn't correct, but before we make another move, I'm trying my hardest to do the research.

If you enjoy a more urban lifestyle then why are you living in New Berlin? I’m having a hard time understanding where you’re coming from, with the five houses in seven years (I think you said that?). But in any event, I would give DC a try. It will help with the boredom for a year or so because there is enough to do and a change of scenery works wonders.

OP here - You're right, it doesn't make sense why we live here haha. We thought that the backyard/space, etc. is what we wanted. We thought that it was what we were supposed to want at this stage of our lives. Unfortunately, it's not and DH always tells me about the cities he's visiting while I'm in Wisco haha. We aren't overly social people. The post is something new for me, but some big lessons learned! DH works a lot. Not great for suburban living. Thank you for your post!

If you are not overly social, then DC might work. Many people in DC are introverted and socially awkward. Wisconsin is a sports crazy state. In DC, folks disengage from “rooting” too hard until a team is doing well, and they hop on the bandwagon. But parents push their kids like crazy into UMC sports (lacrosse, soccer, etc.) to gain an edge in college admissions. College admissions drives a great deal of people’s actions in DC, especially in northern Virginia. Wisconsin has a great ayate school too, but it’s a more mellow process in most areas. This is just a general observation that does NOT apply to anyone posting here: the self-hating midwestern DC transplant is a cliched DC type. Sometimes, they bring the fervor of a convert. On balance, I’d make the move.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I'm the Ohio poster. I LOVE DC. We live in Silver Spring, though, because we couldn't afford anything close to $1.8 million for a house. We have a 6 year old son. Here's a rambling of things I love about DC that we couldn't find in Ohio:

Restaurants, bars, concerts, proximity to NYC and the beach.

Finding likeminded friends; I have made some lifelong friends through work, a new moms group I joined when on maternity leave, and friends through my son's preschool and now in our neighborhood. In fact, my neighbor picked my son up after school so he could play with her son and I could finish up work. Most of my friends and neighbors are working professionals, although there are a few SAHMs. Everyone around me went to college and most went to grad school. We value education but my friends are neighbors are also really fun. My neighborhood is diverse, and my son goes to a focus school where some of the kids speak Spanish as their first language and are low-income.

Obviously, city life was way more fun when we were young, lived in Adams Morgan, and didn't have a child. But we make it work and find time for date nights to 9:30 club or the Anthem.

It's so easy to catch a direct flight from one of the 3 airports to anywhere we want to go. Amtrak.

Museums, monuments, etc. DC is a place where people want to visit you.

The after school, camp, sports, etc. activities around here vastly surpass what's available in my hometown. My son does an afterschool STEM program and plays hockey. Where I grew up, kindergarten is still half day, and there aren't many after school programs at the school. Here, there's lots of after school programs and since DH and I both work, neither of us have to take time off to drive to after school activities. if you live in DC, there's free PreK.

I think this area is REALLY friendly. Maybe it's just where I live? Maybe it's my personality? I don't know, but I feel like I fit right in here. I have a great work/life balance and despite not having the things my parents think we need (being close to them, having a big house), we love the DC area and aren't leaving. If I could afford to live anywhere in the city (you almost can at $1.8 million), I'd choose close to downtown Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,

We are likely relocating to DC in the summer 2022 from Wisconsin. We have lived in several cities before, including Hong Kong and London, however, each city has their vibe. Can anyone share what the overall feeling is in the district, such as is it friendly, fast-paced, open to meeting transplants, kid-friendly, etc. What should I be aware of before coming? Will probably focus on finding a house in NW quadrant for kid's schools.

Thanks!

OP, I really truly wish you the best. I, myself, am from the midwest and have met many midwesterners in DC. The area is full of transplants...but no...it's not a friendly area by any definition.

I don't think you can say that about everyone. Maybe it is where you are that they aren't friendly?

Also, people from the midwest maybe friendly but, they never really let you in.

Ding. This has been my experience. Many people from the Midwest drive like maniacs and are weird, including my former doctor. DC is a multicultural city, with decent restaurants, wonderful museums, green spaces but it’s not easy at all to build friendships. People come and go.

They never let you in in DC either, and if they do, they move the following year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,

We are likely relocating to DC in the summer 2022 from Wisconsin. We have lived in several cities before, including Hong Kong and London, however, each city has their vibe. Can anyone share what the overall feeling is in the district, such as is it friendly, fast-paced, open to meeting transplants, kid-friendly, etc. What should I be aware of before coming? Will probably focus on finding a house in NW quadrant for kid's schools.

Thanks!

OP, I really truly wish you the best. I, myself, am from the midwest and have met many midwesterners in DC. The area is full of transplants...but no...it's not a friendly area by any definition.

I don't think you can say that about everyone. Maybe it is where you are that they aren't friendly?

Also, people from the midwest maybe friendly but, they never really let you in.

Ding. This has been my experience. Many people from the Midwest drive like maniacs and are weird, including my former doctor. DC is a multicultural city, with decent restaurants, wonderful museums, green spaces but it’s not easy at all to build friendships. People come and go.

They never let you in in DC either, and if they do, they move the following year.

This. The friends I actually really liked that I made here all left, or were relocated via foreign service or other offers. And they're in no hurry to retu n because they want thei kids out of the pressure cooker and to hey hate it here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I'm the Ohio poster. I LOVE DC. We live in Silver Spring, though, because we couldn't afford anything close to $1.8 million for a house. We have a 6 year old son. Here's a rambling of things I love about DC that we couldn't find in Ohio:

Restaurants, bars, concerts, proximity to NYC and the beach.

Finding likeminded friends; I have made some lifelong friends through work, a new moms group I joined when on maternity leave, and friends through my son's preschool and now in our neighborhood. In fact, my neighbor picked my son up after school so he could play with her son and I could finish up work. Most of my friends and neighbors are working professionals, although there are a few SAHMs. Everyone around me went to college and most went to grad school. We value education but my friends are neighbors are also really fun. My neighborhood is diverse, and my son goes to a focus school where some of the kids speak Spanish as their first language and are low-income.

Obviously, city life was way more fun when we were young, lived in Adams Morgan, and didn't have a child. But we make it work and find time for date nights to 9:30 club or the Anthem.

It's so easy to catch a direct flight from one of the 3 airports to anywhere we want to go. Amtrak.

Museums, monuments, etc. DC is a place where people want to visit you.

The after school, camp, sports, etc. activities around here vastly surpass what's available in my hometown. My son does an afterschool STEM program and plays hockey. Where I grew up, kindergarten is still half day, and there aren't many after school programs at the school. Here, there's lots of after school programs and since DH and I both work, neither of us have to take time off to drive to after school activities. if you live in DC, there's free PreK.

I think this area is REALLY friendly. Maybe it's just where I live? Maybe it's my personality? I don't know, but I feel like I fit right in here. I have a great work/life balance and despite not having the things my parents think we need (being close to them, having a big house), we love the DC area and aren't leaving. If I could afford to live anywhere in the city (you almost can at $1.8 million), I'd choose close to downtown Bethesda.

OP here - Thank you so much for your genuine post. Funny that you mention your parents, as I feel ours are similar in their beliefs. I've learned a lot from my post and all of the replies and I'm so glad to hear you enjoy living there. Wanted to at least tell you thanks before I "sign off". The content and tone of the posts has taken a different turn than I anticipated, so I'm likely finished engaging. Again, thank you so much for your post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,

We are likely relocating to DC in the summer 2022 from Wisconsin. We have lived in several cities before, including Hong Kong and London, however, each city has their vibe. Can anyone share what the overall feeling is in the district, such as is it friendly, fast-paced, open to meeting transplants, kid-friendly, etc. What should I be aware of before coming? Will probably focus on finding a house in NW quadrant for kid's schools.

Thanks!

OP, I really truly wish you the best. I, myself, am from the midwest and have met many midwesterners in DC. The area is full of transplants...but no...it's not a friendly area by any definition.

I don't think you can say that about everyone. Maybe it is where you are that they aren't friendly?

Also, people from the midwest maybe friendly but, they never really let you in.

Ding. This has been my experience. Many people from the Midwest drive like maniacs and are weird, including my former doctor. DC is a multicultural city, with decent restaurants, wonderful museums, green spaces but it’s not easy at all to build friendships. People come and go.

They never let you in in DC either, and if they do, they move the following year.

This. The friends I actually really liked that I made here all left, or were relocated via foreign service or other offers. And they're in no hurry to retu n because they want thei kids out of the pressure cooker and to hey hate it here

OP here - good to know and thank you!

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope you haven't given up on this thread yet. I've been enjoying it (voyeurism is real, I'm afraid!) and have had some thoughts since I posted earlier about the uniquely high-density of educated professional-class strivers around DC....

It hits me from learning more about you that you and your family probably have above average coping skills and an above average interest in the rest of the world. You are probably a little different from the typical tribal DC person or, for that matter, typical tribal London person or tribal HK or NYC person. You might be better at doing things your way and of not being caught in the biggest traps.

That means, at least to me, that you might be better at not getting unnerved by the legions of petty women with big SUVs that can't stop playing stupid status games. It also means that maybe you don't want an obvious tribe of like-minded folks and that you can fashion your own life, one that cuts across the obvious bright lines others' respect too much.

One previous poster (they are in Dupont Circle) claimed that no one had even hinted at urban options, but I at least tangentially hinted at them by noting options along Connecticut Avenue or 16th Street. I went looking at them because there's an area I've long thought is undervalued for a certain kind of family.

Here's a large condo (3beds is hard to find in DC), a rarity in DC, but in a very nice older building:
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2126-Connecticut-Ave-NW-34-Washington-DC-20008/460726_zpid/

You are very close to the thick of it here, but the immediate few blocks in most cardinal directions are either very-posh or diplomatic and that means fairly safe, as I can assure you the police are watching *you*. Due north is Rock Creek Park, but also one of the main residential compounds for the Chinese Embassy, so maybe think of this place as something like Nathan Road?

But you are also not so far from commercial stuff or gritter urban areas or public transportation. The nearby neighborhoods have attracted some of DC's more famous Brits, one (still alive) who was a President of the Oxford Union and Harkness Fellow, another was Oxonian who mingled with WJC and was regarded as a contemporary echo of Lytton Strachey.

There would still be a lot of figuring things if you ended up in a unit like this or another in a similar building nearby, but I'd seriously consider an atypical life like this as being better than simply following the well-worn paths of striving professionals.

[Anonymous]

PP who just wrote a novel on living 'uniquely' in DC. Here's some recent, similar sales in other buildings near (zip code: 20008) the link I previously posted:
https://bit.ly/3IxbNAl

And for the zip code across Connecticut Avenue (20009), which has much more variety and but some very similar areas close by:
https://bit.ly/3ye9QUS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,

We are likely relocating to DC in the summer 2022 from Wisconsin. We have lived in several cities before, including Hong Kong and London, however, each city has their vibe. Can anyone share what the overall feeling is in the district, such as is it friendly, fast-paced, open to meeting transplants, kid-friendly, etc. What should I be aware of before coming? Will probably focus on finding a house in NW quadrant for kid's schools.

Thanks!

OP, I really truly wish you the best. I, myself, am from the midwest and have met many midwesterners in DC. The area is full of transplants...but no...it's not a friendly area by any definition.

I don't think you can say that about everyone. Maybe it is where you are that they aren't friendly?

Also, people from the midwest maybe friendly but, they never really let you in.

Ding. This has been my experience. Many people from the Midwest drive like maniacs and are weird, including my former doctor. DC is a multicultural city, with decent restaurants, wonderful museums, green spaces but it’s not easy at all to build friendships. People come and go.

They never let you in in DC either, and if they do, they move the following year.

This. The friends I actually really liked that I made here all left, or were relocated via foreign service or other offers. And they're in no hurry to retu n because they want thei kids out of the pressure cooker and to hey hate it here

PP, consider that this might say more about you and the people you like than it does about people in DC generally. OP, this experience is not the case in all neighborhoods in DC.