Relocating to DC...what's life like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love DC and I’ve lived in NYC and multiple international cities. The architecture is beautiful, the height restriction lends a tranquil quality, the access to culture for free is amazing between the museums and the embassy events, it’s much cleaner than NYC or Paris, and there are so many genuinely interesting people here. Rock Creek Park beats Central Park any day.

My personal favorite neighborhoods are Kalorama and Cleveland Park but I can’t afford them. I also absolutely love 16th Street Heights, Logan Circle, Mount Pleasant, Takoma, and Petworth. University Heights/Brookland has charming parts too. I’m not a huge fan of Dupont but to each their own.

Most people who post on this forum do not actually spend any time in DC, they do not leave northern Virginia.

This is so true. I have lived in DC for almost 20 years, my husband was born and raised in DC, and we love raising our kids here. DC has world-class amenities with a great small city feel. We love our neighborhood, our DCPS school, the metro, access to great green spaces, free museums, like-minded neighbors, etc. Most people on DCUM are afraid of cities and think downtown Clarendon is the peak of urban living, so I’d ignore the naysayers.

OP here - Thanks for this and glad to hear you enjoy living there and raising your children. The amenities sound great to me as well!

[Anonymous]

OP, you haven't said what you want in a city other than it to be friendly and have good schools. What are your hobbies? Your husband's?

Based on nothing other than you want (1) good schools, (2) $1.8 million budget, and (3) walkable/city, you can get that in:
Capitol Hill
Kalorama or Mt. Pleasant
Cleveland Park

More suburban but still city:
Chevy Chase
AU Park

Suburban if you want a McMansion but still have access to city amenities when you want them
McLean
Falls Church
Potomac
Bethesda (some areas are more city than others)

Urban/suburban with mixed socio economic areas (well below your budget, some people will say schools aren't great but test scores are lower because they're diverse)
Brookland DC
Takoma Park MD
Silver Spring MD
Del Ray, VA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NWDC is friendly and a great place to raise kids, especially if you want them to have a sense of confidence in navigating cities as they grow into adolescence. A great mix of interesting people. I love living here. Good luck with your move!

Stressful, cut throat, superficial, competitive, sneaky, petty too when it comes to kids. The schools in NW can be pressure cookers. Works for some kids but if you have kid who are not top students they will feel behind.

[b]This has been our experience. Absolutely awful. My husband grew up here and so actually believes that kids' childhoods are supposed to be some kind of strenuous boot camp for life. His childhood in DC was basically an elitist pressure cooker under the thumb of a narcissit mother. Other than the narcissist mother, my poor children have experienced the same. They hate it and can't wait to go somewhere where real people live. They cannot believe how friendly people in the world are when they go to other places.

[/b]
NP. I need to know more, such as where you live, where your kids go to school , and what you and DH do for work and social activities

I am a fed lifer married to a high school teacher whose kids go to public school and who socializes with mostly other feds, teachers, nonprofit types. Neighbors mostly have similar type jobs-- even the lawyers are in public-interest fields. What you describe doesn't fit our experience.

My kdis grew up here, and are now at college elsewhere. They don't think this is true at all, and while they are enjoying their respective new locations (MA and MI), they like it ere and have found positives and negatives elsewhere. Perhaps your attitude rubbed off on your kids? People are very friendly in other places, but not necessarily actually any kinder or better people. The one thing they do like about this area is that people are much more well informed about the world outside of the US.

My DC are in college too, as you say, "elsewhere." They got as far away from DC as possible, hated everything about the parents here and the way children are raised. And no, before you ask, they didn't run from us, we have a second home near where they both attend college. There's a lot of truth in the statement about strenuous boot camp of life, only those that support that type of child rearing will call it out as positive.

It's quite telling the number of people on this board who thought it appropriate to demand to know this poster's occupation, social status, and level of affluence. Although they were too polite to say it, I bet they also wanted an ethnicity box to check... So they could then base their value assessment of the women's moral character, and criticize her parenting.

That is how it is done here.

I have another example of DC culture to share, also quite typical.

One of my children attended an extracurricular activity for years. It is run by a rather high-strung woman from Upper Caucasia who, despite her credentials, seems to have no idea how to work with kids or possibly even with people. I found her flaws charming and her organization well-intentioned despite that... until the time came when I came to her with a request on behalf of my child, who had asked directly, but been ignored. The request was quite simple, and I'll share it: my child simply wanted the woman and all attendees to be masked when in close contact (like at the same table) with my child. When my child requested this themselves, they were told it wasn't necessary and their anxiety must stem from something else entirely and that their "body language" implied they would rather be alone and so it wasn't about masks at all.

When I tried to mediate, the woman exploded, suddenly presenting a ledger's worth of grievances about things our child had done wrong, assumptions about what we were doing wrong with our parenting, and then accused us of attacking her.

All over wearing a mask indoors in close quarters.

When I pointed this out I got an earful about how important she was, how many sacrifices she'd made, and how terrible I was as a person.

I wish I could say this was a surprise, but it is quite typical.

[Anonymous]

This thread has been highly entertaining. So many people trying to talk OP out of what she wants ...

I've lived, worked, and raised a child in DC over the last 25+ years and don't see a lot of the supposed awfulness that people are writing about. But, that's obvious because I'm someone who has chosen to be here and stay here and put my now-college-age child through DCPS. If I thought it was awful I'd be somewhere else.

Me: highly-educated government worker; not from here; bicultural; comfortable, but not rich; not competitive; a single, cheap car that I use very little; walk to metro, stores, banks, doctors' offices; never got kid into the overachiever/competitive/extracurriculars hamster wheel; kid was happy in DCPS schools that served him well, kid had plenty of school friends of various ethnicities/colors and some economic diversity, some in fancy homes, some in apartments (especially at his majority non-white high school). We don't live in the heart of the city, but in one of the "Upper Caucasia" neighborhoods, yet have always been connected to the city and regularly enjoy the wealth of magnificent offerings this city has (free museums & zoo; abundance of green spaces; theaters, nightlife, restaurants; great daytrips nearby). Kid grew up feeling very much like a city kid, moving independently around by bus and metro from about age 12 (around AdMo, U Street, Gallery Place, Georgetown, have been the favorite haunts). We have lived in apartments and SFH and appreciate the relative advantages of both and have enjoyed them both. I am not unconcerned about city crime, but understand that there are cycles to crime rates and always a higher concentration in cities than suburbs, so I have no major problems dealing with it (no one in the family has been a crime victim, fortunately).

From the perspective of someone like me (as I've described myself above), DC has been great. It has more worldly, more diverse, less provincial/bigoted residents than, for example, Boston (where I lived and which I love, but where people would often give me the side eye if I was talking in my native language on the T). It has a wealth of cultural and entertainment offerings. It has a relatively mild climate (I don't mind the summers; I come from a hot place). There's plenty of people and things to do in the metro area, yet the city does not feel too crowded or too hectic (which NYC is, for me). In short, for someone like me, DC has a great balance of city life with manageability/liveability.

If my perspective is relatable to you, if it seems like people like me are your "tribe," then you will probably like it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NWDC is friendly and a great place to raise kids, especially if you want them to have a sense of confidence in navigating cities as they grow into adolescence. A great mix of interesting people. I love living here. Good luck with your move!

Stressful, cut throat, superficial, competitive, sneaky, petty too when it comes to kids. The schools in NW can be pressure cookers. Works for some kids but if you have kid who are not top students they will feel behind.

[b]This has been our experience. Absolutely awful. My husband grew up here and so actually believes that kids' childhoods are supposed to be some kind of strenuous boot camp for life. His childhood in DC was basically an elitist pressure cooker under the thumb of a narcissit mother. Other than the narcissist mother, my poor children have experienced the same. They hate it and can't wait to go somewhere where real people live. They cannot believe how friendly people in the world are when they go to other places.

[/b]
NP. I need to know more, such as where you live, where your kids go to school , and what you and DH do for work and social activities

I am a fed lifer married to a high school teacher whose kids go to public school and who socializes with mostly other feds, teachers, nonprofit types. Neighbors mostly have similar type jobs-- even the lawyers are in public-interest fields. What you describe doesn't fit our experience.

My kdis grew up here, and are now at college elsewhere. They don't think this is true at all, and while they are enjoying their respective new locations (MA and MI), they like it ere and have found positives and negatives elsewhere. Perhaps your attitude rubbed off on your kids? People are very friendly in other places, but not necessarily actually any kinder or better people. The one thing they do like about this area is that people are much more well informed about the world outside of the US.

My DC are in college too, as you say, "elsewhere." They got as far away from DC as possible, hated everything about the parents here and the way children are raised. And no, before you ask, they didn't run from us, we have a second home near where they both attend college. There's a lot of truth in the statement about strenuous boot camp of life, only those that support that type of child rearing will call it out as positive.

It's quite telling the number of people on this board who thought it appropriate to demand to know this poster's occupation, social status, and level of affluence. Although they were too polite to say it, I bet they also wanted an ethnicity box to check... So they could then base their value assessment of the women's moral character, and criticize her parenting.

That is how it is done here.

I have another example of DC culture to share, also quite typical.

One of my children attended an extracurricular activity for years. It is run by a rather high-strung woman from Upper Caucasia who, despite her credentials, seems to have no idea how to work with kids or possibly even with people. I found her flaws charming and her organization well-intentioned despite that... until the time came when I came to her with a request on behalf of my child, who had asked directly, but been ignored. The request was quite simple, and I'll share it: my child simply wanted the woman and all attendees to be masked when in close contact (like at the same table) with my child. When my child requested this themselves, they were told it wasn't necessary and their anxiety must stem from something else entirely and that their "body language" implied they would rather be alone and so it wasn't about masks at all.

When I tried to mediate, the woman exploded, suddenly presenting a ledger's worth of grievances about things our child had done wrong, assumptions about what we were doing wrong with our parenting, and then accused us of attacking her.

All over wearing a mask indoors in close quarters.

When I pointed this out I got an earful about how important she was, how many sacrifices she'd made, and how terrible I was as a person.

I wish I could say this was a surprise, but it is quite typical.

OP here - Thank you and yes, lesson #1 learned about DC. I'm sure lots of guesses and assumptions have been made about me, even though I've tried to be as transparent as possible in hopes of gathering a wide range of opinions. Thank you for sharing one of your experiences. Other posters have commented that I won't move, just bored, etc. and the truth is, we don't have to move. I'd like to, DC sounds interesting, but yes, I'm just gathering opinions and viewpoints on areas and experiences. Not out to prove anything. Thank you again for your post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been following this thread with interest.

Not one poster so far has recommended that you move into the heart of the city and put your elementary school aged children in one of the downtown schools and give you and them any exposure to real city living and diversity. For $1.8 million you could buy a very nice rowhome in Logan Circle or Shaw or Dupont. You could walk to absolutely everything. You could stoop on your front porch and meet your neighbors. You could put your kids in schools where there's real socioeconomic and racial diversity. In short, you could have a real DC experience.

The NW neighborhoods that other posters are recommending are for all practical purposes suburbs -- and rich ones at that. There was a firestorm on this website a few months ago after a couple of researchers at Brookings studied DCUM postings and concluded that it perpetuated segregation in the DC public school system by steering parents towards the richest and whitest schools in the city. What I'm seeing here is Exhibit A.

Take a chance, OP. You're smart, educated, and being a SAHM have time to watch over things and get involved. Your kids would thrive in a more diverse environment than what these folks have been pushing on you and be so much better off for it. Don't move to DC just to wall your kids off into the vanilla experience that DCUM is pushing on you.

+1 to all of this. If you can afford to live in Dupont/Logan/Shaw, the walkable/bikeable quality f life is fantastic.

I agree with this suggestion BUT don’t entirely understand why OP needs to relocate to a completely different part of the country. Surely there are urban walkable neighborhoods in Chicago? Why uproot your family and move again? It takes years to put down roots. OP mentions she has moved countless times with is a red flag to me. These types are often looking for the move to solve problems that it never does.

OP - sounds like you dislike the suburbs and driving around. I get it. Simply move to a neighborhood nearby where you have greater walkability. You can avoid relocating to a different part of the US.

OP here - Agree and Chicago is a great city, however, we don't like Chicago Public Schools (maybe Lincoln Park is OK) or the astronomical property taxes. Completely understand your "red flag" comment. I'm sick of moving, however, in the past, we made quick decisions to relocate without fully researching. Our kids remained in the same daycare throughout, so their world really wasn't impacted too heavily. I think the reason for our moving is that we keep trying to force the Midwest lifestyle upon ourselves, but there is something missing in our view. In the Chicago area, we lived in Lake County and we barely made it into the city. In Wisconsin, we live in the suburbs. There is nothing wrong with our house and subdevelopment. Lots of kids, good enough schools, etc., but we aren't really Packers/Brewers/Bucks fans, hunters, fisherman, campers, etc., so we really haven't found our "groove" here. There is a lot of great stuff about this state, but, we struggle to adopt the hobbies that most of the residents enjoy. Maybe we are just lacking knowledge on our state, but a more urban living environment and warmer weather are enticing to us. Really appreciate your post as it pushes me to keep thinking and researching where we do want to "put down roots". We only want to make one more move, if at all, as it gets tough for relationship building (kids and adults)

dp. Have you ever actually been to Milwaukee? I mean the actual city, not a far away suburb. Heck, have you ever been to Wauwatosa, a closer in suburb, with an urban, walkable feel in parts? It really sounds like you’re living in the wrong location, given your description above. Having said that, if your spouse is traveling to DC multiple times a month it’s worth checking out a potential move. Recognize, though, that you’ll likely end up in nova.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has been highly entertaining. So many people trying to talk OP out of what she wants ...

I've lived, worked, and raised a child in DC over the last 25+ years and don't see a lot of the supposed awfulness that people are writing about. But, that's obvious because I'm someone who has chosen to be here and stay here and put my now-college-age child through DCPS. If I thought it was awful I'd be somewhere else.

Me: highly-educated government worker; not from here; bicultural; comfortable, but not rich; not competitive; a single, cheap car that I use very little; walk to metro, stores, banks, doctors' offices; never got kid into the overachiever/competitive/extracurriculars hamster wheel; kid was happy in DCPS schools that served him well, kid had plenty of school friends of various ethnicities/colors and some economic diversity, some in fancy homes, some in apartments (especially at his majority non-white high school). We don't live in the heart of the city, but in one of the "Upper Caucasia" neighborhoods, yet have always been connected to the city and regularly enjoy the wealth of magnificent offerings this city has (free museums & zoo; abundance of green spaces; theaters, nightlife, restaurants; great daytrips nearby). Kid grew up feeling very much like a city kid, moving independently around by bus and metro from about age 12 (around AdMo, U Street, Gallery Place, Georgetown, have been the favorite haunts). We have lived in apartments and SFH and appreciate the relative advantages of both and have enjoyed them both. I am not unconcerned about city crime, but understand that there are cycles to crime rates and always a higher concentration in cities than suburbs, so I have no major problems dealing with it (no one in the family has been a crime victim, fortunately).

From the perspective of someone like me (as I've described myself above), DC has been great. It has more worldly, more diverse, less provincial/bigoted residents than, for example, Boston (where I lived and which I love, but where people would often give me the side eye if I was talking in my native language on the T). It has a wealth of cultural and entertainment offerings. It has a relatively mild climate (I don't mind the summers; I come from a hot place). There's plenty of people and things to do in the metro area, yet the city does not feel too crowded or too hectic (which NYC is, for me). In short, for someone like me, DC has a great balance of city life with manageability/liveability.

If my perspective is relatable to you, if it seems like people like me are your "tribe," then you will probably like it here.

OP here - Thank you so much and I loved reading your post! That DC experience sounds wonderful and I really appreciate you sharing some specifics. Apologies that this post has become entertaining. Never at all my intention. I was seeking out helpful posts/experiences like yours. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been following this thread with interest.

Not one poster so far has recommended that you move into the heart of the city and put your elementary school aged children in one of the downtown schools and give you and them any exposure to real city living and diversity. For $1.8 million you could buy a very nice rowhome in Logan Circle or Shaw or Dupont. You could walk to absolutely everything. You could stoop on your front porch and meet your neighbors. You could put your kids in schools where there's real socioeconomic and racial diversity. In short, you could have a real DC experience.

The NW neighborhoods that other posters are recommending are for all practical purposes suburbs -- and rich ones at that. There was a firestorm on this website a few months ago after a couple of researchers at Brookings studied DCUM postings and concluded that it perpetuated segregation in the DC public school system by steering parents towards the richest and whitest schools in the city. What I'm seeing here is Exhibit A.

Take a chance, OP. You're smart, educated, and being a SAHM have time to watch over things and get involved. Your kids would thrive in a more diverse environment than what these folks have been pushing on you and be so much better off for it. Don't move to DC just to wall your kids off into the vanilla experience that DCUM is pushing on you.

+1 to all of this. If you can afford to live in Dupont/Logan/Shaw, the walkable/bikeable quality f life is fantastic.

I agree with this suggestion BUT don’t entirely understand why OP needs to relocate to a completely different part of the country. Surely there are urban walkable neighborhoods in Chicago? Why uproot your family and move again? It takes years to put down roots. OP mentions she has moved countless times with is a red flag to me. These types are often looking for the move to solve problems that it never does.

OP - sounds like you dislike the suburbs and driving around. I get it. Simply move to a neighborhood nearby where you have greater walkability. You can avoid relocating to a different part of the US.

OP here - Agree and Chicago is a great city, however, we don't like Chicago Public Schools (maybe Lincoln Park is OK) or the astronomical property taxes. Completely understand your "red flag" comment. I'm sick of moving, however, in the past, we made quick decisions to relocate without fully researching. Our kids remained in the same daycare throughout, so their world really wasn't impacted too heavily. I think the reason for our moving is that we keep trying to force the Midwest lifestyle upon ourselves, but there is something missing in our view. In the Chicago area, we lived in Lake County and we barely made it into the city. In Wisconsin, we live in the suburbs. There is nothing wrong with our house and subdevelopment. Lots of kids, good enough schools, etc., but we aren't really Packers/Brewers/Bucks fans, hunters, fisherman, campers, etc., so we really haven't found our "groove" here. There is a lot of great stuff about this state, but, we struggle to adopt the hobbies that most of the residents enjoy. Maybe we are just lacking knowledge on our state, but a more urban living environment and warmer weather are enticing to us. Really appreciate your post as it pushes me to keep thinking and researching where we do want to "put down roots". We only want to make one more move, if at all, as it gets tough for relationship building (kids and adults)

dp. Have you ever actually been to Milwaukee? I mean the actual city, not a far away suburb. Heck, have you ever been to Wauwatosa, a closer in suburb, with an urban, walkable feel in parts? It really sounds like you’re living in the wrong location, given your description above. Having said that, if your spouse is traveling to DC multiple times a month it’s worth checking out a potential move. Recognize, though, that you’ll likely end up in nova.

OP here - Yes, we have friends in Tosa, we visited MKE more often before COVID, have eaten at various restaurants downtown (not chain and I'll admit, MKE has some great food), etc. Again, Wisco isn't a bad place. I'm not here to talk negatively about it. I only wanted information on DC. DH and I enjoy a more urban lifestyle, that's all. Yes, our current location likely isn't correct, but before we make another move, I'm trying my hardest to do the research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you won't get the pace of HK or London in DC, even in the most urban parts. I grew up here and think it gets bashed unnecessarily, but it's not a very big city. That said, the wealthier neighborhoods are much more of a pressure cooker than the Midwest (I went to college in Chicago and spent about 7 years there total). So, if you want to avoid that you can, but then you have to be prepared for people to tell you your kids' schools suck, blah blah. NWDC is lovely and friendly to people who can afford to live there. But maybe that's a good middle ground between where you are now and the excitement you've had in the past?

Thanks so much and love the comparison to the larger cities. Probably a good thing to have less of a buzz with small kids. I just fondly remember living in the international cities, but that was all pre-kids. We've tried to make the Midwest work. We've lived in five houses in seven years LOL, but we are just bored. We joke that our weekends involve driving to shopping centers or anywhere else. Just living in the car, which I hate. So boring and winter lasts more than half of the year!

No it does not. It lasts from December to March, just like anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

I thought it would be interesting too, and it has been eye-opening, but not in a positive way. We are stuck here now through high school, but I'm counting the days.

One thing I will add (I am the poster above) that I think is pertinent to your situation. I get that you're looking for a diverse urban, affluent experience. I grew up in one. Before we moved here we lived in one in another eastern city. They are my preference too.

I can't speak as to DC providing that lifestyle because we weren't affluent enough to afford a house downtown here--not without downsizing to a small apartment or condo--and at the time I didn't want to so that. I have often wondered if our time here would have been happier had we done this from the start--had we ignored the advice we were given and just rented downtown or on the Hill. But we were excited about having a garden, having space to spread out, having some of the comforts of the middle class, like extra bathrooms and guest rooms and parking and, if I could do it all over again and move here again I would make different choices from the start. At the time, I thought an affluent downtown lifestyle would be too sterile and too small--now, I suspect it might have allowed us an opportunity to ignore a lot of social jousting that comes with moving into a popular area that's supposed to be "good for families."

My advice to you would be to move as close as you can to the things you think you will like about DC and ignore any advice that tells you otherwise. My advice would be not even to try and expect friendships, only to be happily surprised if they come to pass. There are kind people here, interesting people, but it may take a long time to find them. This is not Park Slope, gilded as that might be, where you can strike up conversations with nannies and famous novelists both at the playground and then all go for a pint together. This isn't a place where the common good, or common ground is easily trod. There are nice people, but keep your expectations low. The zoo and the museums are lovely. The winters are mild. Spring is beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been following this thread with interest.

Not one poster so far has recommended that you move into the heart of the city and put your elementary school aged children in one of the downtown schools and give you and them any exposure to real city living and diversity. For $1.8 million you could buy a very nice rowhome in Logan Circle or Shaw or Dupont. You could walk to absolutely everything. You could stoop on your front porch and meet your neighbors. You could put your kids in schools where there's real socioeconomic and racial diversity. In short, you could have a real DC experience.

The NW neighborhoods that other posters are recommending are for all practical purposes suburbs -- and rich ones at that. There was a firestorm on this website a few months ago after a couple of researchers at Brookings studied DCUM postings and concluded that it perpetuated segregation in the DC public school system by steering parents towards the richest and whitest schools in the city. What I'm seeing here is Exhibit A.

Take a chance, OP. You're smart, educated, and being a SAHM have time to watch over things and get involved. Your kids would thrive in a more diverse environment than what these folks have been pushing on you and be so much better off for it. Don't move to DC just to wall your kids off into the vanilla experience that DCUM is pushing on you.

+1 to all of this. If you can afford to live in Dupont/Logan/Shaw, the walkable/bikeable quality f life is fantastic.

I agree with this suggestion BUT don’t entirely understand why OP needs to relocate to a completely different part of the country. Surely there are urban walkable neighborhoods in Chicago? Why uproot your family and move again? It takes years to put down roots. OP mentions she has moved countless times with is a red flag to me. These types are often looking for the move to solve problems that it never does.

OP - sounds like you dislike the suburbs and driving around. I get it. Simply move to a neighborhood nearby where you have greater walkability. You can avoid relocating to a different part of the US.

OP here - Agree and Chicago is a great city, however, we don't like Chicago Public Schools (maybe Lincoln Park is OK) or the astronomical property taxes. Completely understand your "red flag" comment. I'm sick of moving, however, in the past, we made quick decisions to relocate without fully researching. Our kids remained in the same daycare throughout, so their world really wasn't impacted too heavily. I think the reason for our moving is that we keep trying to force the Midwest lifestyle upon ourselves, but there is something missing in our view. In the Chicago area, we lived in Lake County and we barely made it into the city. In Wisconsin, we live in the suburbs. There is nothing wrong with our house and subdevelopment. Lots of kids, good enough schools, etc., but we aren't really Packers/Brewers/Bucks fans, hunters, fisherman, campers, etc., so we really haven't found our "groove" here. There is a lot of great stuff about this state, but, we struggle to adopt the hobbies that most of the residents enjoy. Maybe we are just lacking knowledge on our state, but a more urban living environment and warmer weather are enticing to us. Really appreciate your post as it pushes me to keep thinking and researching where we do want to "put down roots". We only want to make one more move, if at all, as it gets tough for relationship building (kids and adults)

dp. Have you ever actually been to Milwaukee? I mean the actual city, not a far away suburb. Heck, have you ever been to Wauwatosa, a closer in suburb, with an urban, walkable feel in parts? It really sounds like you’re living in the wrong location, given your description above. Having said that, if your spouse is traveling to DC multiple times a month it’s worth checking out a potential move. Recognize, though, that you’ll likely end up in nova.

OP here - Yes, we have friends in Tosa, we visited MKE more often before COVID, have eaten at various restaurants downtown (not chain and I'll admit, MKE has some great food), etc. Again, Wisco isn't a bad place. I'm not here to talk negatively about it. I only wanted information on DC. DH and I enjoy a more urban lifestyle, that's all. Yes, our current location likely isn't correct, but before we make another move, I'm trying my hardest to do the research.

If you enjoy a more urban lifestyle then why are you living in New Berlin? I’m having a hard time understanding where you’re coming from, with the five houses in seven years (I think you said that?). But in any event, I would give DC a try. It will help with the boredom for a year or so because there is enough to do and a change of scenery works wonders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you envisioned what it would be like to ride the subway with your family's groceries? Or, you can drive to grocery store, park on level 3, ride elevator, then take cart back into elevator, go to your car to unload, take cart back to elevator, back into store, then ride back down the elevator to your parking level. . (you get the idea?)

By contrast, if you live near Tysons Corner, you can get a haircut, go to the mall, 3 other stores (not mall), grab something to eat all in 2 hours. Convenience is priceless. You couldn't pay me to move into DC limits. Not everything is "walkable" unless you happen to live right next to your usual anchor stores, such as grocery.

Plus there's the whole school problem, getting into the "right" charters, etc.

Screw it. I'd rather live in a close in suburb and take a short ride into DC to look at museums or a ball game. In a good school district. Like McLean if you can afford it. Or Vienna or Falls Church City. The subway goes there.

This is my view of walkable also. DC is not exactly stroll down to the museums and so on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been following this thread with interest.

Not one poster so far has recommended that you move into the heart of the city and put your elementary school aged children in one of the downtown schools and give you and them any exposure to real city living and diversity. For $1.8 million you could buy a very nice rowhome in Logan Circle or Shaw or Dupont. You could walk to absolutely everything. You could stoop on your front porch and meet your neighbors. You could put your kids in schools where there's real socioeconomic and racial diversity. In short, you could have a real DC experience.

The NW neighborhoods that other posters are recommending are for all practical purposes suburbs -- and rich ones at that. There was a firestorm on this website a few months ago after a couple of researchers at Brookings studied DCUM postings and concluded that it perpetuated segregation in the DC public school system by steering parents towards the richest and whitest schools in the city. What I'm seeing here is Exhibit A.

Take a chance, OP. You're smart, educated, and being a SAHM have time to watch over things and get involved. Your kids would thrive in a more diverse environment than what these folks have been pushing on you and be so much better off for it. Don't move to DC just to wall your kids off into the vanilla experience that DCUM is pushing on you.

+1 to all of this. If you can afford to live in Dupont/Logan/Shaw, the walkable/bikeable quality f life is fantastic.

I agree with this suggestion BUT don’t entirely understand why OP needs to relocate to a completely different part of the country. Surely there are urban walkable neighborhoods in Chicago? Why uproot your family and move again? It takes years to put down roots. OP mentions she has moved countless times with is a red flag to me. These types are often looking for the move to solve problems that it never does.

OP - sounds like you dislike the suburbs and driving around. I get it. Simply move to a neighborhood nearby where you have greater walkability. You can avoid relocating to a different part of the US.

OP here - Agree and Chicago is a great city, however, we don't like Chicago Public Schools (maybe Lincoln Park is OK) or the astronomical property taxes. Completely understand your "red flag" comment. I'm sick of moving, however, in the past, we made quick decisions to relocate without fully researching. Our kids remained in the same daycare throughout, so their world really wasn't impacted too heavily. I think the reason for our moving is that we keep trying to force the Midwest lifestyle upon ourselves, but there is something missing in our view. In the Chicago area, we lived in Lake County and we barely made it into the city. In Wisconsin, we live in the suburbs. There is nothing wrong with our house and subdevelopment. Lots of kids, good enough schools, etc., but we aren't really Packers/Brewers/Bucks fans, hunters, fisherman, campers, etc., so we really haven't found our "groove" here. There is a lot of great stuff about this state, but, we struggle to adopt the hobbies that most of the residents enjoy. Maybe we are just lacking knowledge on our state, but a more urban living environment and warmer weather are enticing to us. Really appreciate your post as it pushes me to keep thinking and researching where we do want to "put down roots". We only want to make one more move, if at all, as it gets tough for relationship building (kids and adults)

dp. Have you ever actually been to Milwaukee? I mean the actual city, not a far away suburb. Heck, have you ever been to Wauwatosa, a closer in suburb, with an urban, walkable feel in parts? It really sounds like you’re living in the wrong location, given your description above. Having said that, if your spouse is traveling to DC multiple times a month it’s worth checking out a potential move. Recognize, though, that you’ll likely end up in nova.

OP here - Yes, we have friends in Tosa, we visited MKE more often before COVID, have eaten at various restaurants downtown (not chain and I'll admit, MKE has some great food), etc. Again, Wisco isn't a bad place. I'm not here to talk negatively about it. I only wanted information on DC. DH and I enjoy a more urban lifestyle, that's all. Yes, our current location likely isn't correct, but before we make another move, I'm trying my hardest to do the research.

If you enjoy a more urban lifestyle then why are you living in New Berlin? I’m having a hard time understanding where you’re coming from, with the five houses in seven years (I think you said that?). But in any event, I would give DC a try. It will help with the boredom for a year or so because there is enough to do and a change of scenery works wonders.

OP here - You're right, it doesn't make sense why we live here haha. We thought that the backyard/space, etc. is what we wanted. We thought that it was what we were supposed to want at this stage of our lives. Unfortunately, it's not and DH always tells me about the cities he's visiting while I'm in Wisco haha. We aren't overly social people. The post is something new for me, but some big lessons learned! DH works a lot. Not great for suburban living. Thank you for your post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought it would be interesting too, and it has been eye-opening, but not in a positive way. We are stuck here now through high school, but I'm counting the days.

One thing I will add (I am the poster above) that I think is pertinent to your situation. I get that you're looking for a diverse urban, affluent experience. I grew up in one. Before we moved here we lived in one in another eastern city. They are my preference too.

I can't speak as to DC providing that lifestyle because we weren't affluent enough to afford a house downtown here--not without downsizing to a small apartment or condo--and at the time I didn't want to so that. I have often wondered if our time here would have been happier had we done this from the start--had we ignored the advice we were given and just rented downtown or on the Hill. But we were excited about having a garden, having space to spread out, having some of the comforts of the middle class, like extra bathrooms and guest rooms and parking and, if I could do it all over again and move here again I would make different choices from the start. At the time, I thought an affluent downtown lifestyle would be too sterile and too small--now, I suspect it might have allowed us an opportunity to ignore a lot of social jousting that comes with moving into a popular area that's supposed to be "good for families."

My advice to you would be to move as close as you can to the things you think you will like about DC and ignore any advice that tells you otherwise. My advice would be not even to try and expect friendships, only to be happily surprised if they come to pass. There are kind people here, interesting people, but it may take a long time to find them. This is not Park Slope, gilded as that might be, where you can strike up conversations with nannies and famous novelists both at the playground and then all go for a pint together. This isn't a place where the common good, or common ground is easily trod. There are nice people, but keep your expectations low. The zoo and the museums are lovely. The winters are mild. Spring is beautiful.

OP here - Thank you and yes, this past day or so on here has really shown me a lot. I really appreciate your comments and experiences. My concerns are some of what you mentioned and what I've read on the posts. Maybe this is what I needed. Not to say that DC is a go or a no-go, everyone's experience is different, but perhaps I need to keep researching other areas. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you won't get the pace of HK or London in DC, even in the most urban parts. I grew up here and think it gets bashed unnecessarily, but it's not a very big city. That said, the wealthier neighborhoods are much more of a pressure cooker than the Midwest (I went to college in Chicago and spent about 7 years there total). So, if you want to avoid that you can, but then you have to be prepared for people to tell you your kids' schools suck, blah blah. NWDC is lovely and friendly to people who can afford to live there. But maybe that's a good middle ground between where you are now and the excitement you've had in the past?

Thanks so much and love the comparison to the larger cities. Probably a good thing to have less of a buzz with small kids. I just fondly remember living in the international cities, but that was all pre-kids. We've tried to make the Midwest work. We've lived in five houses in seven years LOL, but we are just bored. We joke that our weekends involve driving to shopping centers or anywhere else. Just living in the car, which I hate. So boring and winter lasts more than half of the year!

No it does not. It lasts from December to March, just like anywhere else.

Haha just sarcasm. It does take a while to get warm, though