What makes your marriage miserable?

[Anonymous]

See a lot of "miserable marriage" posters here. Sometimes I find myself feeling unhappy with things in my marriage, but overall, I can't say miserable. If you say (or think) you have a miserable marriage, what about it makes it miserable?

[Anonymous]

The constant devaluing, demeaning attitude I get from my husband makes me miserable. It's so pervasive he doesn't even see it anymore. I told him just yesterday that I don't care about him anymore, that I have nothing left invested in him other than the fact that he's the father of my child. He seemed surprised by this fact. He referred to "us" a few times and I finally had to say "there is no us anymore."
So that's in a nutshell what makes me miserable.

[Anonymous]

Aside from the abusive, lazy, jerks....The cause of many marital problems are women who don't know their place, women who don't know how to show appreciation, and women who try to compete with men.

Instead of being a nagging, ugly (personality wise), busybody; how about being pleasant, saying thank you for the small things, and stop thinking of the million things you wish you had and the hundreds of things your husband isn't doing right.

[Anonymous]

I am like the OP, a few minor things here and there but definately not miserable. I love my two children very much, but I would not stick around if I were miserable.

[Anonymous]

16:48 - you sound like a real charmer.............

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the abusive, lazy, jerks....The cause of many marital problems are women who don't know their place, women who don't know how to show appreciation, and women who try to compete with men.

Instead of being a nagging, ugly (personality wise), busybody; how about being pleasant, saying thank you for the small things, and stop thinking of the million things you wish you had and the hundreds of things your husband isn't doing right.

Do you really, honestly think that this doesn't go both ways? Men aren't unappreciative? Men aren't ever unpleasant? I love my husband and my marriage is very happy and extremely pleasant, but seriously, how dare you blame only women. I'm not saying that what you're saying is never true, but I will say that it is certainly not the only answer.

I have met and talked to many many wives who also aren't being told "thank you for the small things". My husband didn't thank me for dinner and he's been talking a lot about a few things he'd like to have.. I guess my marriage should, then, be miserable by your definition. (as I have said before, it's not.. and come to think of it, he did thank me for cooking today.. but still, my point is the same)

[Anonymous]

my wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my wife

Trade her in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the abusive, lazy, jerks....The cause of many marital problems are women who don't know their place, women who don't know how to show appreciation, and women who try to compete with men.

Instead of being a nagging, ugly (personality wise), busybody; how about being pleasant, saying thank you for the small things, and stop thinking of the million things you wish you had and the hundreds of things your husband isn't doing right.

Women who "don't know their place" ? Who try to "compete with men" ? WTH? You sound like you're stuck in 1950.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the abusive, lazy, jerks....The cause of many marital problems are women who don't know their place, women who don't know how to show appreciation, and women who try to compete with men.

Instead of being a nagging, ugly (personality wise), busybody; how about being pleasant, saying thank you for the small things, and stop thinking of the million things you wish you had and the hundreds of things your husband isn't doing right.

Wow, PP! I'm so impressed by your choice of words So tell us, oh wise one, how much do you pay her to put up with the inconsiderate, ruthless, worthless piece of shit that you are? I sure hope you and your wife do not have children, I can't imagine how degrading you are as a father.

[Anonymous]

absolute lack of comunication is the worse thing for us. can't talk about anything because he gets so defensive to the point of becoming aggressive. everything is my fault. I seek his opinions on things and consider them, but I cannot express mine unless I agree with him because it would be a major insult to him. I tried to be simpathetic, but after years I am tired of walking on eggshells. I am a normally smart person (at least I was) and miss the intellectual exchanges I had with my friends (moved away from them). frankly, I am missing all kinds of himan interactions. I asked to go to counseling but his flatly refused, said that I was the one with issues. now we get up, get kids ready, go to work, come back, dinner, kids in bed, and he goes to the sofa watching his crap on TV. every single night, until the wee hours. no, books, no concerts, no friends, no interests in anything other than CSI and stuff like that. he is obviously depressed, but at this point I need to try to save myself, if I still in time. I am trying to find the way out, not easy with young kids. he obviously does not want to break up, I am too convenient. I have been alone in my life, but never thought that I could feel such an atrocious loneliness and desperation while living with somebody

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the abusive, lazy, jerks....The cause of many marital problems are women who don't know their place, women who don't know how to show appreciation, and women who try to compete with men.

Instead of being a nagging, ugly (personality wise), busybody; how about being pleasant, saying thank you for the small things, and stop thinking of the million things you wish you had and the hundreds of things your husband isn't doing right.

Wow, PP! I'm so impressed by your choice of words So tell us, oh wise one, how much do you pay her to put up with the inconsiderate, ruthless, worthless piece of shit that you are? I sure hope you and your wife do not have children, I can't imagine how degrading you are as a father.

This type of attitude is a major part of the problem. There is nothing degrading about knowing your place, being pleasant, and being appreciative. In many cases, this will lead to a much happier home for everyone involved. Women have so much power, but you don't realize it. Instead you seek something that you think is power, but really it's not. You give away the power that is naturally yours and turn it into something evil, then you wonder why you are so unhappy because you feel like you have everything you thought you wanted. You complain, complain, complain and live in a fantasy land instead of being appreciative for what you have. You nag your husbands instead of encouraging him, and then you bring your bitter girlfriends into your business.

If that's working for you, then ok. But if it's not, then perhaps it's time to try something else.

Of course, there are exceptions and as I mentioned before, this does not apply to abusive, lazy, jerks. If you are married to one, you have my sympathies.

[Anonymous]

my in-laws

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my in-laws

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the abusive, lazy, jerks....The cause of many marital problems are women who don't know their place, women who don't know how to show appreciation, and women who try to compete with men.

Instead of being a nagging, ugly (personality wise), busybody; how about being pleasant, saying thank you for the small things, and stop thinking of the million things you wish you had and the hundreds of things your husband isn't doing right.

Wow, PP! I'm so impressed by your choice of words So tell us, oh wise one, how much do you pay her to put up with the inconsiderate, ruthless, worthless piece of shit that you are? I sure hope you and your wife do not have children, I can't imagine how degrading you are as a father.

This type of attitude is a major part of the problem. There is nothing degrading about knowing your place, being pleasant, and being appreciative. In many cases, this will lead to a much happier home for everyone involved. Women have so much power, but you don't realize it. Instead you seek something that you think is power, but really it's not. You give away the power that is naturally yours and turn it into something evil, then you wonder why you are so unhappy because you feel like you have everything you thought you wanted. You complain, complain, complain and live in a fantasy land instead of being appreciative for what you have. You nag your husbands instead of encouraging him, and then you bring your bitter girlfriends into your business.

If that's working for you, then ok. But if it's not, then perhaps it's time to try something else.

Of course, there are exceptions and as I mentioned before, this does not apply to abusive, lazy, jerks. If you are married to one, you have my sympathies.

You must realize that as long as you keep using that phrase, anything and everything you say here will be summarily dismissed.