Husband taking wife's name?

[Anonymous]

Is this a common thing now? My brother is getting married, and is wife is the only child of two only children. So, she wants to pass on her name, which is both of her parent's names. I have three other brothers in addition to the one getting married, and I think it is an interesting idea. Of course my parents are horrified. They will not say anything to the couple, but they feel they should just add our family name onto hers. It would be a super long name sort of like Johnson-Jacobsen-Hingeldorfer. I told my mom to just let it go, but she feels my brother is being a wimp.

[Anonymous]

Your mom is a real peach.

[Anonymous]

My husband would never have gone for it. I didn't care either way. To be honest, if my brother took his future wife's last name, I would think it was a joke. I would rather they just keep their names the same.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple that planned for the husband to take the wife's name but essentially he had to go through the whole process of changing his name legally whereas his bride only had to notify SS and the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple that planned for the husband to take the wife's name but essentially he had to go through the whole process of changing his name legally whereas his bride only had to notify SS and the DMV.

Really? That seems unfair.

[Anonymous]

I would feel odd changing my name, just as my wife would have felt odd changing her name, but we did discuss giving the kids, or at least one of them, her name as a last name (which is what I would do in your brother's situation).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple that planned for the husband to take the wife's name but essentially he had to go through the whole process of changing his name legally whereas his bride only had to notify SS and the DMV.

It is not hard to change your name legally. You fill out forms at the district court, get your court order, use it at SS and DMV. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a common thing now? My brother is getting married, and is wife is the only child of two only children. So, she wants to pass on her name, which is both of her parent's names. I have three other brothers in addition to the one getting married, and I think it is an interesting idea. Of course my parents are horrified. They will not say anything to the couple, but they feel they should just add our family name onto hers. It would be a super long name sort of like Johnson-Jacobsen-Hingeldorfer. I told my mom to just let it go, but she feels my brother is being a wimp.

I predict your mom will be the MIL from hell.

It's none of her business.

[Anonymous]

Truly. It shocks me that during this day and age, people don't even pause when the wife takes the husbands name but they freak out when the man takes the woman's name. What YEAR is this?! Even if it's not typical and thus it's surprising, it's so obviously hypocritical that it's AMAZING to me.

Parents are a little excused but only in the same way that old, old German men are excused from being anti-Jewish. In other words, not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a common thing now? My brother is getting married, and is wife is the only child of two only children. So, she wants to pass on her name, which is both of her parent's names. I have three other brothers in addition to the one getting married, and I think it is an interesting idea. Of course my parents are horrified. They will not say anything to the couple, but they feel they should just add our family name onto hers. It would be a super long name sort of like Johnson-Jacobsen-Hingeldorfer. I told my mom to just let it go, but she feels my brother is being a wimp.

I predict your mom will be the MIL from hell.

It's none of her business.

She's keeping her opinion to herself according to OP. What more do you want?

[Anonymous]

I'm totally being a hypocrite but I think it's odd when I hear about a husband taking on his wife's name. I do know several people who've done it. I'm ashamed to say it, but it makes me think less of the man as a "man." There, I said it. I'm a feminist in most areas, but not in this one, I guess. I think if it's important, they should just keep their names, but I think the point is they want their kids to share their parents' name. The kids can use mom's maiden name as a middle name, perhaps.

[Anonymous]

Husband fail, will destroy his career

[Anonymous]

I am going to say it...I think it makes the man look like a wimp when he takes the female's name. There are some things that I think should stay traditional....why? I am not sure thats how I feel.

FWIW I believe that women should have equal rights...hell I make more than my DH and will always work. But there are sometimes when you need to let DH have his "balls" back and this classifies as one of them.

I need to be able to look at my DH and see a man...a strong man...not some wimp who took my name willingly.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he just loves his wife and wants to make her happy.

[Anonymous]

It takes a stronger man to buck tradition and take his wife's name than go with the flow and make her change her name.