I need a pep talk
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Anonymous
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I am 5'8 and weigh more than I ever have 160. (Other than when pregnant). My best weight is 140-145, as I am larger boned and just kind of a dense body build. I am pretty attractive and I dress nicely, so I still look reasonably good, but this is ridiculous. I have had a trainer for over a year and I still can't lose weight. My 6'2 very fit (10% body fat) husband weighs 163. Very depressing to me, especially since we dealt with the discovery of some near cheating incidents on his part earlier this year. (we saw a MC and are doing much better).
I have started running, which was sorely missing from my work outs (cardio in general) and it is so hard for me. I do a moderate 6.0 for two minutes then 4.0 for 2 minute run for 35 minutes and my heart rate is in the high 170s! I am 42. My diet is decent, other than the two sometimes more glasses of wine I have most evenings. I really need to be motivated and feel better about myself, but I feel stuck and that nothing I am doing is working. All advice welcome. (BTW, I realize this might sound a bit neurotic, I am highly aware that there are bigger problems to have, but this is an anonymous board on beauty, fashion and fitness). |
Anonymous
| I don't know what to say OP. I have the same problem. I am 39 and my weight is 172. I work out daily, et 90 percent well and the scale won't budge. I look ok because I am curvy and muscular but it is o frustrating. I lift, do p90x,insanity. No sissy workouts or me but I feel your pain. I think it is harder to loose weight as a female and partially it is just genetic. Keep at it. I hate running but people report that after a while, the scale budges. I am going to try 3x per week in addition to my other workouts. I would love o workout 2 hour a day but my desk job keeps getting in the way! |
Anonymous
| I get you, OP. I put on a lot of weight during chemo because of the steroids and have not been able to get rid of it and it is very frustrating. I never had a hard time losing weight, or at least maintaining my typical weight, before. I talked to my doctor about it and was basically told that I've probably hit that "age" that "is not kind to women's bodies." I'm 42 also. I've never been a vain person but am finding this extra weight is really affecting the way I feel about myself to the point where I try to avoid being in photographs, etc. So, unfortunately, I don't have helpful advice but I do understand how you feel. FWIW, several forums relating to cancer have suggested that some women have more success losing weight if they try to focus on minimizing the amount of carbohydrates versus fats. I've never bought into the whole anti-carb fad, but given that I'm a vegetarian carbs are really my only "vice." So I'm going to try decreasing my carb intake and see if my weight budges downward. But please, please, please don't give up on the exercise! I'm pretty convinced at this point that my lack of exercise was the biggest risk factor for developing cancer given that the rest of my lifestyle is good.... |
Anonymous
OP - how is your diet, can you be more specific than "decent"? I hear you.. it can be difficult and frustrating. I've found that "shocking" my body by switching it up at the gym and changing my diet once in a while kick starts weight loss. I've recently cut out cheese, switched to almond milk and no soda or juice (for the most part) - I also barely eat any meat, mostly just fish. In conjunction with mderate exercise, I'm seeing great results. It's not always easy, but don't give up- you're on the right track! |
Anonymous
+1 And at 51yo, I can tell you this: It only gets worse. |
Anonymous
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switch to heroin or coke and you'll drop the weight.
just kidding. but 2+ glasses of wine nightly is a good place to cut out calories. |
Anonymous
| Here is some inspiration for you: one year ago I was at 180#, 5'5" and only 32. Today I am 154# & in the best shape of my life. I did it by eliminating ALL refined carbs & sugar, eating 90% lean protein, veg, eggs & nuts. And lots and lots of water. It took me 9 months to change my eating & then I focused on exercise. It was too much for me to reduce / change my intake & work out so I separated the two. It's now my belief that weight loss happens in the kitchen, not the gym. I need to lose 10 more & it might take me another year but I will get there. You can do it, OP. It's hard but so worth it. |
Anonymous
| Paleo/primal. Also have your thyroid evaluated. No sugar whatsoever, move frequently but not necessarily fast, and lift. |
Anonymous
| I'm 44 and have steadily been gaining over the last few years, especially in the midsection. By changing my diet (and exercise 3x per week) I lost 27 lbs in 4 months using myfitnesspal.com. By helping me track calories it made me aware of correct portion sizes. My DH (48) lost 42 lbs in the same amount of time using this app. |
Anonymous
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I find that I need to feel good about myself to do what is good for me (eat right and exercise). If I'm at all down about myself or my relationship w/ DH, all good intentions go out the window.
Read Why We Get Fat. I don't take any diet books too seriously, but this one has some really interesting theories. My take away from it is that our bodies just don't process carbs very well, and the cumulative effect to our glucose response is quite damaging. Protein and vegetables should be the mainstays of your diet. Fruit is pretty much a dessert. Cut back on the wine. Smaller wine glasses help, too. Switching up the exercise can help. Drink more water. Stay away from artificial sweeteners and fat-free foods. Portion awareness (and control) can make a big difference. We have become accustomed to ridiculously large portions. Add that to mindful eating and tracking your food, and you'll probably cut a lot out of your diet. Focus less on the scale and more on how you feel, how clothes fit, and measurements. Focus on what kind of example you want to set for your kids. Is it one of someone who is obsessed with the scale and dieting? Or someone who makes healthful choices and treats her body well? Would it help to talk to your DH and ask for his support in concrete ways? Such as not drinking on school nights, or making sure you have the free time to exercise w/o guilt, or being happy with super healthful meals? |
Anonymous
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Thanks some good ideas and feedback. I am curious about the paleo thing, but I don't eat a lot of red meat, don't love meat in general and I can't eat most seafood.
I can eat fish. But seems a hard one given those restraints. Agree I could eat cleaner. And plan to work on this as well as no wine during the week. This could be source of a lot of issues, but I have had a hard time dealing with that one (should tell me something!) |
Anonymous
Plus 1 on the actually tracking what you eat. 1 year ago I was 5'4" and 168 pounds. Today I am the same height and 133 pounds. I am 47. I lost 35 pounds over 7 months and have kept it off for 5 months so far, I dod not excercise as much as anyone on here described but I am generally fit and active. Exercise is great, needed for fitness in fact. But the reality is that weight loss happens in the kitchen. There are lots of diets around, but they are all proxies for controlling your calorie intake, if you actually count the calories there are no food group restrictions. Get a smart phone, find a calorie counting app that you can use, preferably with a website as well. I used loseit.com. Do not be too aggresive, do not try and lose more than 1 pound a week and you wil probably lose more than that with exercise thrown in. If you are too aggressive you will likely be grumpy and ultimately binge. Do not eat back what you think you burned in exercise unless you ran 10 miles or the equivalent. Measure your food, at least until you can confirm that your eyeball matches a measuring cup and scale. People notoriously underestimate how much they eat and overestimate how many calories are burned by exercise. That results in what feels like a lot of work and no results. It is not complicated, but it is not easy either. It is sustained commitment to moderate calorie deficits that will allow you to make a lifestyle change that results in permanent weight loss. People I know routinely ask we "WHAT DID YOU DO?" and when I tell them I counted calories and moved more, they act as if that is impossible and say that they would gain weight if they ate 1600 calories a day. How can someone who does not actually track everything they eat know that? It is not rocket science and modern technology makes it easy to track, not easy to stick to but it is surprising how much having to write down what you eat impacts your decision making. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| 15:41 here, I quoted the wrong pp, I meant to quote the one that used myfitnesspal.com to track calories (12:58 I think). |
Anonymous
| Yes, I am the OP and I agree that counting calories is the way to go. My mom was never one to really exercise much more than living an active life, but she has always been slim and trim through watching what she eats and she easts lots of fruits and veggies. Thanks for the reminder and the ap myfitnesspal is very good! |
Anonymous
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Here's some inspiration - I was you. I am 5'8" and was at about 165 when I reached my breaking point. I started cardio 4-5 days a week and carefully tracked calories with the app Lose It. Within 3 months (that spanned the holidays) I was around 150. I am at about 130 now. I firmly believe that it takes both cardio and calorie tracking. Working with a trainer is great, but don't expect to lose weight from that alone.
You can do it, you just have to make up your mind to put in the work and then do the work. |